This afternoon while in town I notice how the leaves are changing I kind of feel like those leaves, changing myself …. I see the kids on the playground as I drive home and see them running laughing and it’s beautiful so young and free where did the time go … doesn’t seem like it was that long ago I was sitting on the ground with other parents chatting while all our kids played on the playground when School let out . How we would have to finally tell the kids it was time to head home . So we could settle in for the evening with supper , homework , baths and then a little time for some TV before bed. Now my day pretty much is all mine . After things around the house needs to be done , somethings never change . I’m slowly trying to let go of this strange guilt I hold over myself with all this free time to enjoy my soaps a bit more read a bit more chat with friends all day (hahaha) I do not know why I feel guilty doing nothing a bit more except for what I enjoy . My daughter thinks I’m too hard on myself . That I’ve earned this time since there is really no routine I need to follow anymore. I believe she’s right . I guess I’ve always have had been busy and now no so much until I find somethings to do .