Oh the life of a mother ..

The weekend was beautiful despite the rain. This week though even with the sun finally showing itself I just feel this dread or something .. I cannot place this feeling it’s nothing to do with a lack of energy ..oh that I have a lot of .I do know I put myself back in that mom take care mode .. okay you are probably thinking what is so wrong with that ? Well a lot is wrong with that. I’m back in my mode and I promised myself when my son came home after Basic and being away for 6 months I would get on my own routine . And when my son got on that plane that first day . I was good had to be this is what he wanted ..my hubby and I hugged him and let him go and then hubby and I headed home with a coffee stop . And a phone call from him asking if we were home since he had a 2hour wait till his flight I knew he was missing us already being his first time away all to be expected. When we arrived home I cleaned up the house . Room by room not my sons he had cleaned his before he had left. So I just paused at his bedroom door . Then made myself move along. Supper came and my daughter at work then boyfriends … hubby and I ate just it just being the two of us . Well over the 6 months with a 10 day Holiday pass for Christmas he was home . It felt great but so strange I was in a whole new routine . And so him and I clashed a bit … sadly . I was told this was normal. Then the time came and he had to go back. By March I was ready to have him home. And this time it was better we were at an adult son and his mother relationship We talked on a new level . My time ..my routine was still there and he had his routine. Then here we are in May and I’m finding myself out of my routine .. well more then I want to be . I’m worrying if he’s ate what he’s doing . He has been very good about it when before he did not like it. All the mothering believe me I can get over bearing🙄Yes he has had his moments and has told me in a nice way to stop but then sadly apologizes when honestly I do not want him to. I know this summer is going to be a long one. Right now he is working two jobs and he is gone a lot . So I’m trying to get back into the routine of just my hubby and I . In the Fall along with National Guard drills and going away to college it will be my hubby and I and my daughter again when she is here. and I think it will be hard to let go of him this time. He will not be far away it’s for a matter of convenience for him to dorm with our bad winters . And now with all the things happening in this world and him In the Army National Guards has added this worry more then when he signed up . And I can’t say much about this but I do not know if I’m coming off a vibe he is giving out since I’m so good at both my kids vibes of something there worrying about or doing tends to bounce off of them on to me . Always been this way. So could this be it? I’m feeling his worry. Yes he knows what he as signed up for but being 18 there is concern I’m sure with him. He is such a thinker like me . And his humbleness is been a bit more apparent. Which makes me feel anxious…Even though I feel this way I would never change it for the world . Being a mother is just so hard sometimes because the love you feel and there is nothing you will not want to do for your kids . This Fb quiz actually says it. well except for the cowering in your presence well unless you hurt my kids🙂

I made a book list and ordered a book that is on its way that I’m very excited about and I’m looking forward to it . Which it’s been a bit since I was excited about a book since not been able to find a good one and I’m going to keep ordering hoping for more good book to occupy my mind at night , especially when I’m thinking or when he is out late both my kids with that. So my mind doesn’t wander. When I get my book I’ll post it . For now yes finishing the Road. Yes it’s dragging .. but according to my daughter she is shocked that I’m in the last two chapters of it, being that it’s not usually something I would read or even think of finishing. 🙂 well it’s getting late need to try to get some sleep so off I am to bed. Hoping to hear that train and its whistle in a distance I’m so comforted to while saying my nightly prayers falling asleep .

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Author: windsofchange18

I am a stay at home mom of two. I love my morning coffee and my afternoon tea. I love spending time with my family. In my spare time I love to read and especially write. I hope what I share on here all of you will enjoy.

20 thoughts on “Oh the life of a mother ..”

  1. It must be really difficult for you 😔 it’s given me a whole new insight to my mum and made me realise I should sometimes be a little kinder when she’s overbearing, she’s only being a mum!

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    1. Aww thank you. It’s just hard because when your a mom you feel your kids every emotion .. sadly my problem is I need to let go.. I think your mum knows how much you love her ,she’s your mum so no worries❤️

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  2. I’m not a Mom so I can’t relate to what you’re going through, but I do hope everything works itself out for all-a-ya’ll.

    Ooo that’s exciting that you have some books on the way!

    I hope you heard the train!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It’s just seems to be. In the back of our mind and his since he joined.. yes can’t wait for my book I’ll tell you it’s Fly Away by Kristin Hannah I read the Firefly lane yrs ago and cried like a baby lol I own the book . Sometimes I want to read it again but I remember all to well and now a second one to it which I should of got yrs ago but kept forgetting to . Others recommendations for books you could tell me ?

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      1. I just read a description of that book and a couple of other books by Kristin Hannah. I wonder if they’d be something my Mom would enjoy. She keeps reading Norah Roberts and JD Robb books over and over and over because everything else I buy for her she deems to be “Weird” or “Hard to follow”. LOL

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      2. Mystic Lake seems to be one to start with so I had mom read the description. She said she might like to try it so I have it on hold for her. I’ll put the two you mentioned on hold also in case she decides she likes this author. LOL Keep your fingers crossed!

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    1. Thank you . Yes it’s hard I get so use to him and then he’s off again . And the house is quiet come Fall when he goes to college it will be hard getting use to but I’ll know he’s still at least close by .

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