One day at a time, one thing at a time..

It’s been a very warm humid week . Air conditioners have been working over time. Went out only if I really needed to otherwise I just enjoyed the air conditioners and got a lot done with the help of music piercing down the hall from my sons bedroom. It wasn’t his music but mine. He has the best speakers to hook my phone to. 😂It was nice to listen to my music as loud as I wanted having the house to myself . I was able to drown out all my thoughts that have been occupying my mind…  and get a break from them. This summer has been another learning experience . They have been for the last couple of years. This one is been a bit more . This month I turn 50… wrapping my mind around this is ..has been really hard . I’ve just started to get use to having adult kids and trying to find myself after all these years .I know I have talked about this in recent posts about not being the person I was before kids and now after having them . Yes we do age ..change ..grow up time doesn’t stop but now I’m trying to find contentment in this next chapter. I find myself questioning what I do what I enjoy ,how I spend this time of no more family routine but just being is okay. I tell myself I have done my job raising my kids being the best mother, wife anyone can be. And doing this with a chronic illness . Which when I was raising my family I did not think about it sure I felt the effect of my  health issues but I was occupied I focused on my family. I exceeded more then Imagined . I wasn’t even suppose to be able to have kids especially two of them.  I should take this as a time to now enjoy my books, writing , socializing and I do not mean with other mother’s but my friends . Friends I grew up with. funny thing is I have lost most of those mother’s now we have all gone other ways. I have lost one that was very close to me and I thought even when our kids grew up I would enjoy this next chapter with her…

IMG_8931Life had other plans. I slowed down a bit more which ugh…age does that. and with a chronic illness makes it a bit more challenging. I guess I just couldn’t run with her like she run’s and I do not mean jogging I mean constantly going here there and every where . Did this realization hurt yes. I never wanted this illness to define me it never has until this summer and it hurts. I let her define me by showing me what I cannot do.  and her walking away from me I  am not her problem she has a right to live her life but I thought she respected me enough to know that I still had thought we where still friend… now I have faced yes I am a bit different in ways your health can effect you. My mind feels so young but my body feel so much older….and now add 50 into the mix . Do I know aging is a blessing yes do I know it’s just a number ? yes but this is still  going to be a hard one. Please I am not having a pity party Or want pity just letting my thoughts out Everyone is fighting their own battles and my heart breaks for them .as much as life is beautiful it can be hard…with us all sticking together I think it will make it a lot easier to get through. . ..Thankfully I have found , become great friends on here with someone that has helped me so much and she know’s who she is. I feel so blessed to have found her as I hope she feels the same way about me. She is such a blessing. I am so happy to add her to my short list of close friends . She has reminded me what matters  many times over… and for that I thank her and hope everyone who is fighting their own battles has a person like her in their life like I do. I promise, well will try to have more of an up beat post next time.💖

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Author: windsofchange18

I am a stay at home mom of two. I love my morning coffee and my afternoon tea. I love spending time with my family. In my spare time I love to read and especially write. I hope what I share on here all of you will enjoy.

18 thoughts on “One day at a time, one thing at a time..”

  1. This is just beautiful and straight from
    your heart ♥️. I just love what you said about the music blasting from your son’s speakers too! Been there, done that. I love that you wrote all this down and posted it as there are many out there going through similar things. It’s wonderful too that you are finding the ‘fun’ again and it sounds like you are reinventing yourself and finding your new purpose in your next chapter❤️ You need to buy that shirt that says FABULOUS AND 50! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. And, ps…it’s her loss. YOU are an amazing woman👑

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so MUCH for saying this it means a lot . Hesitated all day on writing this. Wondering if I should but happy I did . It felt good to let it out. And yes so agree with many going through similar things.. that’s why I felt I should write as well. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember turning 50, 15 years ago. I know the years are creeping up but try not to let that bother you. As they say now, 60 is the new 50. I don’t know who they are, but they are probably 30. Happy almost 50. Allan

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Now, you are just trying to butter me up. I am 65 going on 66 and about to head off into the mountains for a 54 km back country hike and three nights sleeping in a tent in cool temps. I know, what was I thinking, right? Cheers. Allan

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s hard when our friends take separate paths!!!! Maybe this is an opportunity for you to find a new path of your own that works with your illness. A time to find things that interest YOU and that YOU enjoy and that energize you, not exhaust you. An opportunity to put yourself first.

    The lady who cleans my Mom’s house is turning 80 this month and is non-stop on the go. 50 year olds are babies in her opinion. LOL

    When is your birthday? I should bake and eat a cake in your honor. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Nobody wants to get old! but we have to do the best with what we have I guess. Loved the quote, so very true! Like you I have been so surprised at how nice the blogging community on this site is! I talk to some really wonderful people all the time! Have a lovely week my dear, I really enjoy your blog x

    Liked by 1 person

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