I am back!

Hi everyone . I have been going through some personal things. My life has changed so much over the past year and has finally came to an end of the cycle that so needed to end. I will eventually write about it but for now busy with adjusting and learning that life can bring so many changes and twists and turns but actually feel it will be okay .

You…

The dim lighting in the room and the music playing softly sways me gently to sleep. And this is where I find you. Where I hear your voice I long to hear every day. Here I can hold your hand and feel the warmth and strength in them I need so much right now. I long for the wisdom in your words that only you could make me understand and believe. But your gone. And all I have are these moments when my mind brings you back .

Down time..

Today was a downtime day. Slept in after a long night of not sleeping well due to feeling the effects of something coming on. After enough of just laying there, I headed for a shower and yes my coffee. A lot of it. Feeling a bit functional I did some things around the house it was so nice. The house to myself for most of the day. I have not had an empty house in a bit and I must say I am missing it. The freedom of getting up and not having to talk to anyone and just turning on my music and listening to it loud is so nice. the only way I can listen to music 😊 so I enjoyed my coffee or should say coffees and breakfast. And caught up on some blog posts still working on them.

It’s evening now and I’m cozy well trying to be comfortable. This cold is not very enjoyable. Sipping on tea at the moment. Ginger and honey. It is helping a bit. Country music will soon be playing. And the lights will dim than I know I will be in my happy place. Time to do that before I get to settled.

Weekends…

The weekend is here. After a very wonderful week. One I have not been able to say in a long time. I took care of me. I left the negative away. I laughed and acted silly with friends and my kiddos. My daughter and I went put for a light lunch and enjoyed vanilla lattes. So delicious. We laughed and had some well-needed conversations. She is my calm. Quiet one my introvert. My son and I, on the other hand, enjoyed some laughter over music. He loves that I like his music. And we love it loud. Yes, my son has a wide variety of tastes. Especially loves some Rap. And he laughs when I enjoy it. So very memorable fun moments with him he is my impulsive, high energy my extrovert. I believe I’m a mixture of both. So this week has been memorable.

On Friday my bestie and I went out for our once every other week meal and 6 to 7 hours of conversation over endless glasses of water and lemon and yes my several mugs of coffee. It’s now Saturday evening and a quiet one at that I’m thinking of finishing the movie I started The Guernsey potato peel pie poetic society. Loved the book And thanks to Jonathan Beckett a fellow blogger told me about the movie being out. . A lovely blog. And he has several podcasts out as well that are so fun to listen to. A bit too quiet for me today. Sunday will be a day out. I know sometimes needed especially this time of year.

I have found a new craving. I must say it’s a bit off for me. I never thought I would love avocados. My son has been pushing me to eat them for months now. Telling me the benefits of them. I tried them years back but never really enjoyed them but now well I’m craving them. A bit amazed by this. You learn something new every day. Well it’s tome to clean up my mess in the kitchen. 🙄

Night…

Night has appeared like an old friend once again. Comforting, mysterious warm but a chill that seems to echo through my body and thoughts. As the night makes me feel free and safe you make me feel as well. Your voice calms me as calm as a warm summer night your voice in the darkness comforts me like a warm blanket as the night comforts the stars and the moon. I need to feel your arm around me. I know when I do I will never want to let them go As the stars and the moon need the night I need you.

Just writing ..Thoughts..

The clouds drift slowly in the darkening sky my soul feels as if it’s drifting along with them .My eyes are open wide watching focusing on their every. movement as my mind drifts back as well to words that have been said and cannot be taken back. I know you meant well but like fire, I set ablaze to every word you spoke. I should have stopped myself but somethings are just said. My heart bleeds for your soft voice to whisper in the dark and tell me it’s okay … but I know you won’t I know the words are still stinging. Why is love so hard sometimes .Why do we hurt the people we love . People say I have this fire in me. Oh how to control it before it burns everything down around me.