Late night movies..

  1. Saturday night my daughter and I settled on the couch and enjoyed the movie The Notebook . We have seen it “hundred times ” but it just never gets old. Yes we laughed and we cried but that’s what happen with good movies. 2 hours went by quickly and it was midnight when we looked up from the TV . My daughter sighed as she yawned . Tiredly telling me how she enjoyed watching it once again. Moments later she headed down to her place and I stayed there cozy wrapped in my blanket in the darkness … yes thinking , thinking about the movie the meaning of it . Yes like I stated seen it ” a hundred times but I’m always amazed how every time I watch it I find something new that jumps out at me . And it sets more meaning to me . As I sat there pondering . I decided I wanted to watch it again .. crazy? (Hahaha ) no I just wasn’t tired and ready to move from my cozy spot. And I thought it would be nice to just watch alone . This movie has so many emotions in it . And yes I feel everyone one of them to my core . I cozied more into my blanket and before I knew it it was over . And my eyes were moist from the tears that once again built up in them. It’s kind of a silly thing when watching a movie that can make you so sad also makes you feel good. And you would shed those tears a”100 times over” to feel those emotions again.
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Tell The Story Challenge!

Thank you John for nominating me for Tell The Story Challenge I will try to do this justice I need to bring one of these critters to life in a story.

I woke up to drops of rain falling upon my eyelids, wetting my lashes and making it hard to open my eyes. I could feel the wet cold ground below me, a rock, I assume, stabbing me in my back. The wind blew in a rage making the rain come down harder. Once opening my eyes I could only see darkness surrounding me. I slowly sat up rubbing the spot on my back where the rock had been stabbing me. I could not make out where I was , or how I even got there. It was of a dream I believe because what my memory started to reflect back on could not be possible otherwise. It had to be a dream. The last I remember was endlessly running as the tree branches hit at my face and arms as I tried to push them out of my way. And then I remember stumbling .. yes, I stumbled loosing my footing and felt myself going down, but instead I was being lifted up by strong arms, no wait they where not arms. No not possible.. I tried to shake the image from my mind. Whoever it was or what it was stopped me from falling. The scale like feeling against my bare arms was startling. The feeling Like a frog or … oh my a lizard. I saw it’s face . No this had to been a dream. I had fallen I touched my head trying to find a bump where I hit it that was the only rational explanation. No bump, not even a pain. But where did it go, where did it come from, my heart started to beat faster .I hear it’s breathing and the warmth of its breath echoing in my mind. Whatever it was it was not out to harm me. It’s eyes oh it’s eyes . Everything is coming back to me . I can see it’s eyes. Staring down at me as he carried me. They showed sadness in them. I must have known this lizard form of a man meant me no harm because that is the last I remember . Why did he leave me here where did he go? he was sad . I could see it in his eyes.

I made my way up onto my feet . A little unsteady but knew I needed to find my way out of these woods or dream? The branches and wet leaves crutching under my feet .As I walked I kept looking over my shoulder . A feeling of eyes seem to be following me. Was it lizard man? The wind began to calm and the rain slowed making it easier to find my way. Then out of no where I heard footsteps . I stopped the sound of footsteps stopped as well. I proceeded again and I heard the footsteps again . I turned quickly and then there in the darkness I could make out a figure but not a normal one ..oh no I whispered to myself struggling to take a silent breath no please do not let it be. I stood there not being able to move . The figure came closer and then there it was the the creature that carried me. His sad eyes upon me once again. I reached for him slowly but he made this noise this low deep sound almost a crying sound. I pulled my hand down and stood there . He tilted his head from one angle to another. . Was he wondering what I was as I wondered about him? I stepped back he moved closer . Chills ran up my arms. I stopped he cried out but no words came out but a deep quiet moan. I reached again and he let me touch his face. It was rough and scaly and cold. I whispered what are you ? Where did you come from ? But it just stared. Into my eyes piercing through me. I felt like he was communicating within our thoughts . He was sad , lonely, confused he didn’t understand who he was as I couldn’t as well. And then as I thought he would speak my eyes woke to sunlight blinding me . I was in my bed the sun warm upon my face. I was sleeping . It was all a dream. Or…. was it? Okay now I need to nominate actually I nominate whoever wants to give this challenge a try.

Contentment versus Happiness?

Here is the definition of content and happiness some will argue this meaning doesn’t or shouldn’t go together. I do understand the definitions but… I feel at times content can be used as a safe haven to use as an excuse to not further grow in life . To be happy to have the settled approach is easier then changing because we all no change can be so hard. If we settle to what is ..even if it’s not a good thing we as human beings do because it’s so much easier. We learn to live , except . Are we happy ? That’s my question . Like I stated content follows happiness but I have found many to say their content they have their routine their material things . Are you happy though and I will hear yes but no . Hmm yes because your settled no because you are not enjoying what you want to in life . Happiness yes is a feeling and some say a desire. Only quoting of what I have heard . Why is being happy over being content so hard for people to except . Why does happiness have a negative if we do not follow it with content. Yes some are very happy with just being , good enough. But do not frown on if it’s not the same believe of others. For example. When I was younger and not a mother I was out going social . I was happy with being me happy and never doubted . Then I became a wife a mother and I slow changed yes as we do . Yes my focus was taken away from me and now directed towards my family. Yes I was happy yes I was content I knew nothing else . My focus was what was asked of me what you do . My writing etc everything I enjoyed that was apart of ME slowly faded . Yes I still wrote except my writing took on whole other meaning about family life. I was less social even though you would think I was around other parents constantly with play dates . They where not my close friends that faded as well. Yes all probably my doing because ones I focus on something I take it to the limit. Who would figure our kids would grow up 🙄 well they did . And I found my ” content life” was not the same . My kids could not be my main focus anymore . It left me wondering now what? I cannot keep going as I was .

I see life now as I use to be yes older but my need to bring back what I love my social side my silly side , to be me . Take care of me . To realize life doesn’t slow down after the kids are out of the house. That life is about change .. a good change. To take control of my health , my wants, And to me that is yes happiness and contentment.

Thinkers… writing

What is it about thinkers ? Our minds are either calm or racing with thoughts so deep you feel them through your body right into your soul. The thoughts run endlessly through our minds . Words spoken from someone whether there meant to to teach us a lesson or just said we can take them to the extreme and feel it in so many ways . We can replay them over and over in our minds trying to explain to ourselves what it means. Breaking the words into tiny little pieces and then like a puzzle putting them back together again to understand. Oh the mind of a thinker is so exhausting. When someone hurts we think about it and tend to feel hurt with them . Along with thinkers I believe we tend to feel more emotions then others and at times it’s draining . Sadly I love very deeply and once I love there is no end to it. so these qualities are hard to handle at times ..Sometimes it feels like so much weight on your shoulders but honestly it’s in your head. This weight we carry. I try and I try but my thoughts are endless as the ocean and no stopping the endless waves that come crashing in.

Signs…

It’s close to noon on a beautiful Bright Sunday . I’m am just sitting enjoying my first cup of coffee. Yes a bit late , lazy morning. For all of you who read my post ,if you haven’t read it this will not make sense . Yesterday as I posted started at 6 in the morning .. (early for me ). And a good start I was sore but I was full of positivity . I was going to do what I needed .. could do . I did but as the day went on and people came and went and I became a bit more sore . The pity party struck me. I wanted to go places be active my energy level was so high but my body said no . I may have pushed it a bit more then I was told . Sadly I’m not one to be told what to do . And I dislike to be held back . I’m a fighter . I do . Hmm I wonder where my kids get this attitude. So yes as the day progressed . Pity turned into anger. Once again I so do not like to get angry because I do not often take it out on people but on myself . But you can still feel the vibe if your in my presence .

In a blink of an eye the signs came to light first it started with my daughter sending me a text on her work break. She rarely drinks Coca Cola and she grabbed a bottle without looking at it she went to sit and drink it . On the bottles some have random names on them . She texted me a pick of the bottle she wrote under I just noticed this mom look at the name . In huge letters was Francis . I was in awe I couldn’t believe it but a smile came over my face . It was my Dad’s name rare name especially on a soda bottle and when I was at a low point and my daughter having some bad days herself there he was showing us he was near . When he was sick he said he would always be there . My daughter was the last grandchild he saw born . She was 6 months when he passed . He loved her so much and told her one day as he was holding her ” this will be your world enjoy it be strong” sorry tears but happy ones are forming in my eyes. He told me to ” let him go to say goodbye before he got worse “he didn’t want me to watch him die. He said” enjoy your beautiful little girl focus on her love her be happy” so I did what he asked. It’s been unbelievably 24 yrs and I know he still sends me signs especially when I am down . He was showing us he was still with us. Some can be skeptical but I believe that was not random the name on the bottle.

Second sign but this happen to a my friend of mine . she was telling me about it yesterday as well . A ring she loved and wore constantly she lost months ago she’s a nurse so she thought it came off in one of the gloves she has to wear she looked every where as well for it no luck. She was cleaning her bedroom and she said she looked down on her dresser where she had a little basket that held her favorite rings . And there did she notice sitting on top of the others was the ring . She said she was so dumbfounded said she looked through it many times even grabbed other ring from it and it was not there . She asked all her family members if they found it and put it there . They told her they never saw or new it was missing so no. I said to her ” you do know what month it is”? She was silent for a moment I asked if she was still there? She said ” oh my Kim do you think” I told her yes . Her only and younger sister passed away 3 yrs ago of this month next week it will actually be 3 yrs . I am such a believer in all of this . I feel this so deeply. So I do believe she had a part in this . Okay last sign and yes a long post this is. My son came home while I was up watching a movie at midnight he was with friends all day . He told me how one of his friends had a bad day . Bad day is not the word I would use. He showed me a photo it was a car his mother handed down to him when she bought a new one , he only had it 3months … coming home from college for the long weekend with his girlfriend they were hit by a guy who was weaving in and out of the passing lanes and speeding on the highway.He hit him my sons friends car flipped twice and the suv not car was completely gone the photo showed pieces of the car all over the road . Him and his girlfriend walked away from it without a scratch . Yes a bit shaken up but good . People showing at the scene couldn’t believe it , this could , should had killed or at least hurt them . But nothing and thankful for that . Not their time. I do believe So after my son went to bed I sat there in the dark and silence andI told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself that there is so much worse things in life and this is just a little set back and that life is a gift , and we need to honor this gift whether it’s a love one guiding us that has moved on from this world or an experience of an accident we need to get up be thankful smile , be happy and stay strong . Life is not easy by any means but it’s so worth it.think about that as you go along with your day.🙂

Good Morning!

Good Morning it’s 6:30 and I’m up and enjoying my cup of coffee already yes I do realize it’s the weekend 🙂 falling asleep around 11:00 on a Friday night is absolutely remarkable .. well for me. After chatting with my son for a bit ..yes ! He is home from college for the holiday weekend . It was nice catching up with him until he yawned and that was the end of that ( hahaha) I followed after him and got sleep too. The day was quiet but busy with the Physical Therapist coming . Yes 2nd visit but 1st visits with her actually working on getting my leg better. Soon I will be back to 3 days a week at the gyms pool . … my goal. But taking it one day at a time. After her visit the furnace service guy came to check why the basement wasn’t getting heat in one of the rooms . Thankfully that wasn’t too much of an issue. With that done my PT said it wouldn’t hurt to rest my leg. I sat for a bit and worked on cleaning my email up . It’s amazing how many emails I have and what I really did not need so I turned on my chrome book and listen to music as I sat there deleting. An hour went by and I knew it was time to stretch my legs so I walked around and busied myself with making a smoothie for a quick pick me up. The day was quiet so it’s amazing I fell asleep so early . We know what that means . I us wide awake at 5 yes 6 hours is enough for me. And a long day now as well . The PT said not to over do it for the weekend but needed to stay moving . My energy level is high so I have no problem with that🤷🏻‍♀️but I pretty much know what I’ll do to stay busy . I have books to catch up on , organizing passwords in a new notebook I have . Horrible with remembering and updating the book . Plus I can catchup on some Netflix shows. It’s 7:40 coffee is done time for some breakfast and one more cup of coffee . I hope everyone has a good day enjoy and keep smiling🙂