Maybe some normalcy now..

It’ brutally cold night, but the stars and the moon are out. And my car is back after my son needed it at his college for a couple of days. Tomorrow I can get out and get some things done and grab myself a coffee. I know like I need more coffee .as the snow had cleared the early morning, the sun cane out shining. Beautiful and bright giving the snow a glittering sight and lifting my spirits a bit. Then as the evening approached, we had a beautiful sunset, and that lifted my spirits even more. I agree with several fellow bloggers on here that winter and the holidays can be a bit of a moment of grieving. I have lost many loved ones and no matter how many yrs pass; it doesn’t change the feeling of loss. Maybe lessens it, but the emotions are still there. Sorry this was suppose to have been an uplifting post . Give me time and this happy laughing lady will be back. Just need to feel these emotions. . So much has changed this past year that I believe it brought more emotions to the surface to be felt. And only tucking them away in the back of my mind is not good. For anyone. So feel because grief has no time limit.

Today I talked with an old friend from High school we have a long history together back in the day; we thought we were each other’s soulmates. Oh, how young we were. The thing is no matter how much we tried to separate, we were connected in a way that had us reaching out to one another ( not in a romantic way), just reaching out to talk when we needed someone to talk to. Sadly we never were able to have a relationship because it was just too intense, and it always ended up in a breakup. He’s married with three daughters. Happily, I cannot say settled, yes. It was nice though to talk and said he was always here if needed. And at the end of our conversation he said call me anytime and remember to smile , keep smiling. So I say to everyone that is in a down mood keep smiling. Here is my beautiful sunset tonight. Enjoy. I know I did.

Snow Day…

After all the wishing, praying sending out good vibes. The snow still came. It was worth the try. Mother Nature dumped 17 inches on us. And I’m sure she heard my cry. I looked out and pulled the blankets over my head. The smell of coffee did not even tempt me to get up and start the day. After about an hour, I knew it was time to face the day. And jump in the shower and grab my big mug of coffee. After only a bowl of oatmeal for dinner the night before ( couldn’t eat ), my stomach growled, so I decided to follow suit with my son and make a spinach omelet. Let’s see the day was a bit of an accident kind of day. I went to make more coffee, and I think because the coffee maker had been on and I added water, it blew up yes literally. And the water was everywhere as I’m.trying to stop the water the pot was on and I was covered in water. I’m shocked I did not get electrocuted, so a new coffee pot it is. I think someone is trying to tell me something😂. Then in the afternoon, I blew a fuse while shutting a light off. Yes, all true. Now I am sitting on the couch cozy with a blanket, Chromebook, books, and a list of movies in my head I will watch in a bit, and if I fall asleep here, so be it. I’m done. Need my alone space. Yes, I’m sulking lol. This vigorous, happy lady is not here at the moment. But she will be back when Mother Nature decides to stop the snow from falling and bring me some sun. Sadly I’m in the wrong state . (Hahaha)

I did get some pictures of before and after, and some will love this snow for you who do. I hope you enjoy them.

It begins..

It’s a quiet Sunday woke late that it was lunchtime, but I was eating breakfast yes when I should have been eating lunch. And I am enjoying my mug of coffee. The ridiculousness of should of. It’s a word I feel. We use at times when we regret. And I do not regret sleeping in or the very late night staying up and watching Hulu. The night is the best time for me. I am trying hard to let go of things. Let go of my overthinking mind that usually, for some reason, seems to escalate more on Sunday. And with this snowstorm coming my mood is fading. I know I should be used to this by now, but like everything in life, things change. I am happy my daughter is safely home from work and now waiting for my son to arrive back as well from work. He has already received the call. He has no school tomorrow. He will head back to school Monday night. Hopefully, the roads will be clear It’s 4 in the afternoon, and I’m on my second mug of coffee, and I’m sure there will be a couple more to follow. Oh, how I dread this snow. I think before my next mug of coffee, I will do a few this gs around the house and move a bit before I find something on Hulu. 🙄

Holdays..

The holidays are arriving soon faster than we can wrap our thoughts around them. As each year of holidays come there, a bit different. Something has always changed. Whether it’s the kids, have grown, and now are spending them elsewhere. Or we have a loved one who has passed, and their missing presence is always there in your thoughts, then there is possibly a separation in a relationship, and the family dynamic is changed. Whatever it may be. It’s a hardship that pulls on the heartstrings for some of these things there brought more frontward into our thoughts and is felt much more deeply. And yes, it hurts so much. The thing is Holidays. They are going to come every year whether we enjoy them or not. And we have to need to find new traditions if you want to call it that. I prefer a new way of finding a way to get through them and to enjoy them. To accept what is and make new memories doesn’t mean you have to forget the other memories. You won’t. They’re locked away in your heart forever. Life has a way of pushing us to keep moving forward. To live with this thing called a new normal. It’s our way of coping excepting, especially if we have loved ones we need to be happy for. To help them as well to get through. I know for myself. A lot has changed over the years, and it will never be like it used to, and holidays do not have the same feeling. But they do have a new meaning to me. And it’s just that it’s one day and I feel that how we treat this day and the people that will be with us we should treat no different than any other day. We should love respect, them as always. Yes, we all have bad days, and words get spoken that is not very nice at times, but we are human, and it’s a part of life. So what I ask whoever is having a hard time with the holidays coming. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Let the day come embrace it. Except it for what it is. Just keep moving forward.

Friday friend night..

Friday came with the rain gently hitting the window. Happy it wasn’t snow. Sadly I know it will happen. Thursday night, my friend texted me and asked if I would like to get together with her on Friday night? Very spontaneous for us because she is a planner. We enjoyed dinner out at one of our favorite places. The restaurant was busy, but we were able to stay seated for a little over an hour. We are regulars. We think they like to see how many times they will fill my coffee cup. (haha) Yes, no alcohol for us. Coffee and water are my poison. Water with lemon is hers. We have such great conversations and laughs that it’s not needed. We decided it was time to give up the booth; either of us was ready to call it a night. So we decided to get in my car and take a drive so we could chat a bit longer. We manage to talk and laugh for 5 hours. This dinner started at five 😊 spontaneous was such a good thing to do. Now we have decided it would be a good idea to get together whenever. We both know there will be days where we will have to plan. But have realized that this is going to be our new regular on our new journey of this chapter of our life.

This whole parent thing is so changeable. We start first with just going out drinking, dancing. Working, no taking care of children to then having that responsibility and it consuming us. That if you do not pay attention to it, you can lose sight of so many other essential things as well. We tend not to imagine our Children growing and living their own lives. Then when this day comes, we tend to be shell shocked. And we are finding a way out of the rabbit hole to ourselves, once. Again and for some, this is comfortable others like my friend and me no. It is a learning experience. We are finding out so many new and similar things about one another; it’s quite interesting. I do know it will be an exciting and memorable time for us.

What a day…

Help!!! Lol it’s been such a day of mishaps . Let’s see I woke this morning feeling it would be . It was such a feeling that I couldn’t shake off. But I went through the day and let’s say it was not good. Went to grab a few things at the grocery store . Knew I should of made a list. Then I forgot my wallet on the grocery cart. And this was after I headed to our local orchard for a few things to find no wallet insight. I had to head back to the store. Thankfully a 10 min drive but those were the longest 10 minutes ever.. thankfully someone brought it to the stores front desk. Then it was back to the orchard. Pulling into my driveway my breaks made a strange sound .. I am hoping it was from all the salt and sand on the road from the bit of snow that arrived this morning. Once home made some dinner and settled in and spent hours on a post that if you read good luck I have no idea what happened. Read if you like I am going to delete it once I can copy it since it didn’t save to anything. Ugh…. so that was my day. Hoping some soft music will relax me and let me get to sleep . Will see.This is where I would love to be right now…