Heavy heart…

Go to sleep with a heavy heart , wake up with a heavy heart. When does it stop? This world is going in a sad direction more everyday. This life is not easy to begin with but to add more hate is not good. So I will think of the lives that have been lost and injured and pray that things will change. We can at least hope or can we .. is that going to be taken away from us too.💔

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Late night…

  1. It’s Friday night and a late one at that.. well for writing it is . It’s 11:00 and yes a bit late but I’m up until 2 anyway . Just when my mind decides to settle. Hubby is snoring away as I write this in the dark (haha) air conditioner is on so I decided to settle in the bedroom . Another warm night, hopefully we will get a break soon. My daughter is at a concert a couple hours away I’m sure she will not be waking in the door for awhile. My son is sleeping well hopefully he was having a hard time with that knowing he needs to be up at 4 for National guard weekend so he will be gone for the weekend. As I lay hear in the darkness wishing the windows were open so I could hear the sound of the train a distance away it’s whistle echoing through the night. It’s such an eerie but comforting sound.

This summer has been so different one it’s almost over already into August . My daughter turning 24 this month my son heading off to college and telling me I’m going to miss him … hmm ..I know I will but I’ll be okay he will not be that far away and only a phone call or text away I think it’s more like he will miss me and home. The freedom of being home. Since turning 50 I feel so different .. I feel different. About life.. my kids are adults now and I feel a since of new freedom to get back to taking care of me . To be me . Yes I was always was me but motherhood changes you ,you think a lot more about your kids then yourself …. well I did , and now my time is my time, and honestly I was dreading it . But now I’m embracing it I’m doing what I enjoy . I’m spending a bit more time on me . And realizing it’s not a bad thing .. oh I think we are our own worse enemy ..

So I started this late Friday night and fell asleep so I am posting this now🙄

It’s August….

It’s August ..it’s seems a bit strange . Where did summer go? At the same time I’m ready for The next season. Need it to be a bit cooler . I cannot remember the last time we had the air conditioning off and windows opened. I know Miss Abigail is wanting the windows open. The way the weather has been so unpredictable I wouldn’t be surprised if August ends up being a cooler one . Looking at today isn’t a good example to go by …. it’s warm too warm. .

Let’s see this month we celebrate my daughters birthday. She is turning 24 .. absolutely unbelievable . Where did all this time go? It feels like just yesterday she was a shy little girl with her biggest brown eyes looking up at me to read her a book . She loved still loves books . I’m proud of the bond we share . We always have one another’s back. Yes we do have our disagreements and arguments but they never last for very long .

It’s 7:43 and the sun has been settled for a bit darkness is creeping in. We have a visitor again he /she we do not Know what gender it is but this coyote has been coming into our yard for the past 4 days. It’s an odd one . Very skittish . There is no way to be afraid of it . Just passing by our door window it sees or hears us and runs. It’s nice to see it. Along with our Fox off and on. Turkeys not so much these days .

Reading is going slow I believe Stephen King May not get finished . Not feeling the story at all. It seemed promising for awhile but I have not picked it up in a week. I really need to find another book to read. But what? I guess it’s time to finish this post and get a few little things done and then settle in . Have a great night everyone.

Another day of randomness …

It’s only Tues but feels like Fri.. this week is going slow… not a bad thing it’s nice to feel the tensions of the past weekend fade away. Birthday weekend is not my favorite.. The day started off as usual wake up grab a quick shower and head for the coffee pot . Enjoy my coffee with the Wendy Show and The View. Then it was time for the TV being replaced with my new speakers nice and loud surrounding my house up with my music as I did somethings around the house. Ahh the music helps so much . The day was out of this world hot and humid. Really cannot wait for Fall . Tonight the sun had already set at 7 and by 7:30 it was getting dark. Amazing how early it is with getting dark out. Been such a crazy summer weather wise not surprised … I’m ready for the air conditioners to be turned off and have the windows open again. Soon I hope. This is a short post tonight going to go settle . Have a great night everyone🙂

Monday…

It was a late start to my Monday , slept in late I guess emotionally exhausted from the weekend. Plus the heat did not help . So ready for Fall. The cool crisp air . Comfy fun clothes…. boots ( hahaha) so ready to go boot shopping. And yes coffee all the Fall favorites. Summer has been a long one actually draining .. nothing lazy about it this year. A lot of feeling of change. Good. and bad. Age no .. new paths yes. Life is so full of many changes never not a learning experience.. Spent the day out with my daughter. Yes we enjoyed getting some coffee ,8:30 at night and pitch dark. Miss Abigail is sleeping away. I think she is happy the house is quiet. She doesn’t like it when we have all the family over she hides herself away.

New week not much planned. Just going along. My daughter has a concert this weekend with friends and my son will be away all weekend at his National Guard duty. A quiet weekend ahead. Okay with me. I can always find something to do with myself on the other hand my other half cannot. Wish he would get into reading a book. Not happening 🙄 what can you do . Well time for me to read . Stephen King book is getting better.

And the weekend is over!

The cake we shared , yes a lot of pink but my son did say for me to pick the colors.. pink for me ,blue for him..,It’s Sunday at 9:00 at night. Mine and my sons birthday weekend has come to an end .. Saturday on mine we went out for dinner , had a lot of laughs good food , nice and simple my family gave me some really nice gifts I loved them but most important love my family more. It was nice to have both of my kids present . A rarity these days. Then today was my son birthday we celebrated his day with extend family, pizza and cake and ice cream and a fire in the fire pit. After many hours enjoying, family left and we cleaned up and settled in for the routine of the new week ahead. Over and over family members asked how does it feel to be 50?…hmm what kind of a question to ask.. I really couldn’t answer it . One in my mind I feel more like 20 but my body feels much older. Honestly I really do not know if I will ever wrap my mind around it. My son was quiet . He usually loves his birthday. Oh he is so humble .. He acts so much older then 19. I must say he has said a lot of I love you’s to me this weekend. I wonder if he feels my vibe of me not liking this age of mine… even though I tried to stay upbeat about it. Now all have settled in bed early my hubby needed to be up at 4 for work and my son heading to the gym early in the morning . My daughter settling down in her place with Miss Abigail and a friend. I’m just sitting in the living room been off and on reading my book. Taking a break for a moment to figure out what I have read. This Stephen King book has so many twists to it . I haven’t gave up on it yet…Kind of like a fly being drawn to a spider web . (Haha ) hesitant to finish it but your drawn to it to see where this story ends. Stephen King has a way of doing that. It’s nice any way even if I’m not totally into it . The quietness is welcoming. I feel exhausted but emotionally exhausted. Happy this weekend of celebration is over . My day not my sons.

Now on to a new week . Not much planned it will be relaxed. Monday I will spend the day with my daughter . But other then that not much planned. Fine with me tho. I like easy weeks. Well time to read a bit more until I call it a night. 🙂

Why not…

Been a very laid back Friday! Not complaining whatsoever! I woke to a bright sunny day . Grabbed a quick shower then Headed straight to the coffee pot. It was Bill day and not wanting to jump into it I turned on the Wendy Show and enjoyed some laughter with my coffee. I really love her humor . Minutes later my son found his way to the kitchen stating he was going for a ride on his bike . I was happy it freed up my car I have been generously sharing with him all summer. I told him to lockup when he left I was heading in to town to do some errands. Well… when the the turn arrived came that heads into town , last minute I decided I would keep going straight. I wasn’t ready to run those errands as well . It felt nice to be out of the house in my car no rush to get back home I decided to just drive .., I turned the radio up and just drove and thinked . It was nice to be alone enjoying what I like to do driving and listening to music. I use to do it all the time … but became too logical … where would I go how much gas I was wasting, but today I let the logic fly out the open car window . And enjoyed. Such a simple a pleasure why should I take that away . My kids are grown I really have no reason to rush home so why not. And no if your thinking I’m not having a mid life crises. (Hahaha) I just wanted some “me time” outside of the house . After two and a half hours later with postoffice and bank run accomplished , I arrived home . Hubby home from work . Fridays is his early day , my son cooking himself food , my daughter getting ready for work all was well . No one missed me. It was a nice feeling. Now it’s already 9 at night . Hubby watching baseball . I’m just writing. And it’s totally dark out now. Feeling content . With that I guess I will settle. Have a great night everyone🙂