As I sat outside on my porch swing and enjoyed my morning coffee. I am amazed at how every Spring and summer seem to feel just a little bit more different.let me elaborate,it’s just when the kids were little and Spring and summer arrived I felt renewed alive…time to pull out all the outdoor items and set the yard up for endless summer days and fun.So this meant kiddie pools and tiny tyke picnic table and swinging and looking for fireflies. then once again life stepped in like it should and I held on tighter. 🙂 so school yrs began and that came with friends camp outs in the back yard movie nights with friends slip and slides then eating watermelon and seeing who could spit the seeds the farthest remember those days ? then the back yard got smaller to them and the endless days at the public town pool was the new place so as the kids swam and ate treats from the snack bars and played kickball on the premises then back in the pool us parents sat by the pool and absorbed the sun and socialized with one another.life once again slowed down life was great Then the train of life rolled again and middle school was here and the pool was no longer the happening place then the summer jobs and and more friends and you know the rest. they grew up. even though my son is 16 he still needs me and my daughter go out to lunch together and shop and have beautiful long talks ..but its so much more different my sons world is his friends and running with them and the occasional loud sound of his music that rocks my house but not enough of those moments more looking at my phone checking for him to tell me he needs to be picked up or that he is sleeping over I believe I look at my phone more then his baby blue eyes. I know how it is suppose to be and I thought I was ready I did everything a mom does and I let go a bit like I should but no one tells you how hard it can be.it’s just a lot more quieter. yes I believe I am going through the mommy blues hahaha I do still take out the kiddie pool for my pups hahaha he loves his pool so I guess some things do not change hahaha.
From the first moments I held you my heart melted. My little boy looking up with those beautiful blue eyes staring at me with wonder. As I rocked you to sleep at night you held gently on to my hair with your little hands as you fell into sleep.I never wanted those moments to end but they did, everyday as you grew and found new wonders your laugh and smile were as big and bright as the moon when you would look up at me while you played …I could never get enough of that laugh and smile.You always seemed to be by my side and I knew that the day would come and you would not need me like this anymore , so I held and locked those memories deep in my heart. Now as you grow into the young man you are and think you know all the answers in life…the teenage years upon us . the closeness we once shared seem so far away now, our moments are different and I know this is how it’s suppose to be and I love the man your growing into just never let life take away that little boy with the smile and laugh as big as that moon stop shining , never let life let you forget how much I love you and if the path you take gets covered in doubt just remember there is always a path that will lead you back home.
Just a shout out to all the Moms out there , doing a job that is 24 seven and no sick days . I must say being a mom is one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs I have ever done …actually I do not want to call it a job. Being a mom is a choice you make and I am happy I made that choice I love every minute of it do not get me wrong I have wanted to pull my hair out on many occasions and I have had sad days as well but for the most part many and still going special moments, I love being a mom and I hope you do too. so short post but needed to be said. Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms.
Wow lets say frazzled….. oh my what a morning. My husband for got to wake me up be for he left for work so I slept in. I wake up look at the clock and everything from that moment on was crazy. knock at the door oh no oil guy …early ughh!!! no shower right now I am trying to throw regular clothes on yelling coming at the top of my lungs I must of sounded like a mad women..my dog going nuts barking none stop the sound making my head pound, plan was get up early shower and dressed, dog out on deck , coffee in hand when the Oil service man showed up to clean our furnace. Not!!! total chaos so I get to the door tell him I am so sorry for my dogs non stop barking he is a little older man with this small soft voice and says that’s okay really doesn’t bother me I am partially deaf he states, I am like oh okay so I tell him go to the outside basement door my daughter will unlock it. so I shut my door run to the basement stairs yelling once again at the top of my lungs unlock your door figuring okay he can’t hear 🙂 My daughter wakes up just as frazzled so not happy… her cat is running around scared from all the chaos …the dog hahaha and a strange man in the house. Poor cat. Now all is calm and I am finally having my coffee, daughter at work still a barking dog and a scared kitty going to be a long day.
Music well easy enough,, I am back in my teenage years and It’s the 80’s and music sounded so good in my car either on a hot summer day windows down air blowing my hair and the radio turned up as far the the speakers could handle even though they are vibrating from the bass and I am singing as loud as I can and there is not a care in the world. or on a warm summer night driving on a back dirt road singing to yours and your best friends favorite song and yes of course she is in the passengers seat singing away too and nothing can take those memories away. Music is what gets us through the hard times the good times or just makes everything easier to bare.
This is my Monday photo, your probably asking why a high school track? well..as I sit here writing this and enjoying my morning coffee I’m feeling a little sadness anxiety but also happiness for my son being the month of May now…already only a month left of school for the Seniors and a then after that only three weeks left of school for my son .My son who is a sophomore who will miss his is best friends immensely who are seniors . My son and his friends have put so much time patience, endurance, sweat, love on this track and who some may call it their second home. moments of laughter and fun times. I know when the end of the month comes it will be on their minds ..Its not over my son he has 2 more years on these tracks but I am sure it will be a bitter sweet moment when him and his friends start back up in the Fall with out their best buds. Growing up is so hard it is a bitter sweet moment when we get to this point in life where we are ready to move on but sadly look back at what and who we leave behind.
Okay so I was doing something I despise more then anything , Grocery shopping. I am at my local grocery store and I have my list , my cell for calculating so I can stay on my budget that doesn’t always go as planned, at least I try …right? so I am going isle to isle with my list and someone walks by I scoot out of their way and smile well that was a mistake they just glare at me like what are you so happy about …..okay so I take a deep breath and proceed on . oh my as I am shopping their was this guy must of been in his late 50’s or more shopping with his older mother and the poor guy seemed like he was being lead on an invisible leash, well sadly every isle I took they seem to be in it so I said Oh my gosh I just can’t seem stay out of your way now at the time his mother is down the isle a ways and I was just trying to be nice he just stares at me she comes walking up as fast as she could looks at me with dirty look and asks him did you find what we needed he answered after that I felt like a fool for tying to joke with him so I just decided to be quiet..I was just trying to shake it up a little with this chore I dislike, then as I am about done with my list my favorite song plays over their radio my daughter if she was with me would of walked away from me hahaha at the age of 5 she could see this song by heart always o played it in my car. It was from Celine Dion the Titanic theme song My heart will go on….now if you know me then you would know I have to sing it when it plays so I was like oh no hahaha so I was in one of the isles by myself at first so I was singing it quietly to myself and grabbing what I needed well this women is in front of me looks at me and I just stopped singing and I explained I was singing the song so she wouldn’t assume I was talking to myself well does anyone just laugh or just smile and say something nice like oh it’s fine ??? oh know she just looked at me like I had lost my mind. Oh my I was just trying to make the best of doing something I despise ..does anyone have a sense of humor or can just be decent ? no I guess not I guess we are just suppose to walk around either like a zombie or have a crabby face planted on our faces I know …sounds like I am judging but I am just trying to state a fact ..I do not know why that person may have that face but everyone doing that hmmm do not know.my Son does say why do you always have a smile on your face well I wouldn’t say always but for the most part I try and why not. whats the point of living if you can’t be happy. I think it’s sad I know some people may be going through something buy everyone I run into.. I guess that could be my luck.