Right or wrong?

In my post last night I had mentioned I had a conversation with my son. and I had said it didn’t go as well as planned well I have decided my son is a teenager and definitely does not  or is in defiance, does not have a clue about life okay yes he is 16 maybe very social has a lot of drive… focus but maturity not. Okay yes we have all been 16 and we lived in our own worlds  and we thought life was so great and fun and we thought we knew everything and our parents we looked at them like they where aliens ….well that was the  look I did  towards my son. Nothing I said clicked nothing I said was right ,he contradicted himself through out the conversation. I was  dumbfounded and knew our talk was going in circles and I didn’t know who was chasing who. I stopped talking just let it go and he went in his room . I pondered the thought over and over in my head the one thing he said that kept slapping me in the face was I qoute  “You ask so much of me” “your always telling me to get a better job”  it’s always about money I need to concentrate on school  and sports ,okay one his father and I only ask for respect when he walks into the house and good grades . and yes we want him to do good with his sports and get into a good college so he can run for them and he is so good at it but its hard to take him after he gets so tired he  is exhausting after because he is ugly that I cannot take.who doesn’t want that and we only say things about his job because he his always complaining about money and his father and I feel he wants to hang out with his friends every night and eat out  in which case he contradicted himself when he said we do not do that as much now and I only need enough money for gas. yeah okay that’s why when this weeks Spring vacation is here he will be going out and why should we have to pay for that when we pay for everything else and he is able to work. hmm is he thinking of other parents…what is it with these kids and their drama they do not have a clue about life I know my son does not. where did we go wrong or his this just the teenage hormones and friends talking ? so I think as much as I do not want to it’s time to  back of  and let him eat his words and fail a bit. This is going to be very painful to watch.

Life.. teenagers ..changes it’s enough to make a parent crazy. I know all have been through it and survive but my day we worked for what we wanted we asked for nothing and we got it we where grateful .this generation just seems so arrogant and my Son tries to make it be that it  is me …oh no it is not and I am going to show him. wow that was a rant..hahaha okay guess I needed to get that out . Sorry Everyone. Just been a crazy ride on this new journey of being a teenager .Yes have an adult daughter but never went through any of this with her but they are 5yrs apart and so different from one another. Does anyone have any advice to give ? would love some.

Rainy day … Thinking

It’s a rainy Spring day and it was easy to get things done around the house that really needed to be done then rushing around so I could sit out on the deck in the sun or take a drive and get a coffee …believe not a bad thing but so hard to do house work then. Supper is cooking in the crock pot the delicious smell of chicken cooking fills the house.and dusting is done laundry is going now relaxing and thinking about what a friend going to call her that she is one of my followers on my blog and she has one herself and she gave great advice on my last post. on changes and so I am sitting here and thinking about what she said and making my list. I hope she reads this and knows how i am taking her advice. It’s hard though because the person I was before my kids is a bit different or maybe I just lost who i was and its covered under the surface of being the person i am now and I just have to bring that person back to the surface…does that make since ? if you read my last post you will hopefully understand . So I know one thing hahaha I did get a little bit more serious over the years and uptight more which I think I could let go a bit… and I need to let go of feeling guilty for wanting to have more time for what I enjoy when the only one holding me back is me. I think my  kids want that because yes the string needs to be cut a bit . and there the ones cutting it and I am trying to hold on to . So hard this will take sometime maybe baby steps?  ….yes that could work. I  will get back to you on this.

Changes …why…

This Spring season is so different then last year usually the beginning of Spring makes me feel refresh excited to set my decks up with all the outside furniture. ..This year It’s just so unbelievably different I am doing the what I miss thing believe me I do feel very blessed and I am so blessed.. but change is not an easy thing for me and this Spring is what I call a Spring of change . Let’s see I miss my faithful Pups who loved when this season came we got outside on the deck and embraced  together the suns warmth  and he has now passed over the winter, I write with  a tear in my eye. I miss my Son not having his drivers license he is always out and about which he got this winter. So I am always doing the where are you text’s and worries.  I miss outings with my daughter now its very rare if we go out and spend time together, since she found new friends this winter .. ughhh so much change this winter that now has made  this Spring a very big change to adjust to.  I know I have occupied myself around my family for so long  which felt like the thing to  do when we had started a family and no one told me that this time would come this quick and I now feel I have lost myself I need to find myself again  does anyone have any ideas for me ? How to do this? To make anew .  To take the bad the difference and make it good. Would love some advice.