It’s 10:30 at night laying in bed enjoying my book . It feels good to finally settle and read . My comfort zone. The house is quiet everyone is home and settled in their rooms . The fan is all that echos through the house as I read. This was so needed . It stops my thinking wandering thoughts. In which case is always something I do. But for now I am focused on the story my book tells . And it’s comforting. I think another chapter or two then I will get some sleep. Good night everyone.
Outside my door the winds have calmed the storms have passed ..for now. Settled in last night with my new book . After about 45 mins later I put my book down and shut the light off. It wasn’t that the book wasn’t good it was . I just wanted to lay there in the darkness and watch the flash of the lighting and hear the roll of the thunder . Love nighttime storms. As the storm came through flashing shadows on my wall I laid there taking it in thinking about the Memorial Day weekend approaching .. like everything things change. I know a part of life. Even if I wanted time to to stop it would not ..even for a moment . Even laying there watching the storm was different… my daughter at some friends house . My son tired from work in bed as well as my hubby just I watching it .No kids running into the bedroom or sitting in our living room watching counting between the lightening flashes. Just I … As this Memorial Day approaches this will not be the same as well. Yes they’ll be a cookout ,bonfire on one of the days but less around the fire. but our hearts with them . No friends sleeping over , no sleeping out in a tent and being waken by kids running in as fast as they can to sleep on the living room floor because they heard something in the woods. No movie nights with buckets of popcorn and wide eyed kids as they watched .No just my hubby and I watching a movie , or sitting and watching the stars , taking a ride . As our door swings open and close as my kids come and go from work. I will embrace this change and then the next one and the next one. But for now I will embrace this moment . with a smile on my face and also a tear in my eye.
It’s a Tuesday windy cool morning and yes a quiet one if you would call it that ..with the sound of the wind banging against the house.. Miss Abigail running around the house non stop. And I actually having to raise my voice at her for trying to get under the couch covers to scratch it. We were doing so good with that 🙄 now I think she is mad at me.
The wind blew all night after several times of our bedroom door slamming shut from it, my hubby propped the door open a bit . If we keep it shut it gets either too cold or too hot . After it being in the 80’s and humid it became really chilly and even though the sun is out it’s cold . Ahh Miss Abigail has calmed down and laying in her chair . I know she needs to have the time to run and act crazy but not on the couch.. Everyone has gone to work early . And I will just do things around here and that needs to be done. I have finally finished the book The Road . Hmm ..after all that and this is the ending ? Was my thought last night ,then I woke up saw the book sitting on my bedside table and then realized the ending and why what happens did. Still yes thinking and why after all that ? But then realizing the moral of the story made sense. Now I wait for my next book to come in the mail . It says delivery is today so I’m crossing my fingers. As the wind blows my day needs to the pedal from my tree decorating my deck actually pretty🙂 get started .
The weekend was beautiful despite the rain. This week though even with the sun finally showing itself I just feel this dread or something .. I cannot place this feeling it’s nothing to do with a lack of energy ..oh that I have a lot of .I do know I put myself back in that mom take care mode .. okay you are probably thinking what is so wrong with that ? Well a lot is wrong with that. I’m back in my mode and I promised myself when my son came home after Basic and being away for 6 months I would get on my own routine . And when my son got on that plane that first day . I was good had to be this is what he wanted ..my hubby and I hugged him and let him go and then hubby and I headed home with a coffee stop . And a phone call from him asking if we were home since he had a 2hour wait till his flight I knew he was missing us already being his first time away all to be expected. When we arrived home I cleaned up the house . Room by room not my sons he had cleaned his before he had left. So I just paused at his bedroom door . Then made myself move along. Supper came and my daughter at work then boyfriends … hubby and I ate just it just being the two of us . Well over the 6 months with a 10 day Holiday pass for Christmas he was home . It felt great but so strange I was in a whole new routine . And so him and I clashed a bit … sadly . I was told this was normal. Then the time came and he had to go back. By March I was ready to have him home. And this time it was better we were at an adult son and his mother relationship We talked on a new level . My time ..my routine was still there and he had his routine. Then here we are in May and I’m finding myself out of my routine .. well more then I want to be . I’m worrying if he’s ate what he’s doing . He has been very good about it when before he did not like it. All the mothering believe me I can get over bearing🙄Yes he has had his moments and has told me in a nice way to stop but then sadly apologizes when honestly I do not want him to. I know this summer is going to be a long one. Right now he is working two jobs and he is gone a lot . So I’m trying to get back into the routine of just my hubby and I . In the Fall along with National Guard drills and going away to college it will be my hubby and I and my daughter again when she is here. and I think it will be hard to let go of him this time. He will not be far away it’s for a matter of convenience for him to dorm with our bad winters . And now with all the things happening in this world and him In the Army National Guards has added this worry more then when he signed up . And I can’t say much about this but I do not know if I’m coming off a vibe he is giving out since I’m so good at both my kids vibes of something there worrying about or doing tends to bounce off of them on to me . Always been this way. So could this be it? I’m feeling his worry. Yes he knows what he as signed up for but being 18 there is concern I’m sure with him. He is such a thinker like me . And his humbleness is been a bit more apparent. Which makes me feel anxious…Even though I feel this way I would never change it for the world . Being a mother is just so hard sometimes because the love you feel and there is nothing you will not want to do for your kids . This Fb quiz actually says it. well except for the cowering in your presence well unless you hurt my kids🙂
I made a book list and ordered a book that is on its way that I’m very excited about and I’m looking forward to it . Which it’s been a bit since I was excited about a book since not been able to find a good one and I’m going to keep ordering hoping for more good book to occupy my mind at night , especially when I’m thinking or when he is out late both my kids with that. So my mind doesn’t wander. When I get my book I’ll post it . For now yes finishing the Road. Yes it’s dragging .. but according to my daughter she is shocked that I’m in the last two chapters of it, being that it’s not usually something I would read or even think of finishing. 🙂 well it’s getting late need to try to get some sleep so off I am to bed. Hoping to hear that train and its whistle in a distance I’m so comforted to while saying my nightly prayers falling asleep .
It was a rainy soggy humid day. Even though the sun came out for a bit it didn’t do much to dry everything up before the rain came back in in many strains.. My hubby suffering from a cold as well as my daughter and now I feel I am but desperately hoping it’s allergies . I took advantage of the rainy day to finish reading my book as my hubby napped on the couch and my daughter napped down in her place until she had to go to work later in the day as well as my son. So both of my kids at work still . It’s 8:30 at night and I have finished looking for Alaska . Such a good book. John Green has such a way with his words . His writing is so different from other authors . His books are just unique . It’s the only word I can come up with to describe them. If only he wrote more. Now on to my next read The Road by Cormac McCarthy hoping I will enjoy it . I’ll keep you posted how I’m doing with it and if I’m enjoying it.
The air is still warm and sticky and the peepers are so loud echoing through the house. My kids won’t arrive home until 9 and 10 . I think I will start on this next book and see how far I get until they get home or my eyes get to heavy to read . In between sneezing … oh so much tissue used today.. have a good night everyone.
It’s 7:00 in the evening . And I’m COLD! When I woke the sun was shining nice and bright. So I got up had my coffee and breakfast and then quickly took care of what needed to be done around the house . Made my chop suey so I could finally settle and sit outside and read so I grabbed my book and water bottle and out onto the deck I went … settled into the chair and grabbed my book and noticed it wasn’t as warm as I thought and the weatherman had predicted. Then I noticed the clouds moved in and the sun disappeared … ughh .. it was cold and now even colder with no sun . So I grabbed my book and water bottle and headed back in. Now the house is freezing again and rain tomorrow and only in the 40’s so I may need to have the heat come on a bit or all windows end up shut . Wish Spring would get here . I know it will eventually … it’s just so frustrating after last weekend enjoying the warmth of the sun and enjoying the deck. Want that feeling again. But now..😂 supper is done and covered up with a blanket . And ready to watch the show I recorded last night. I’m thinking a cup of tea sounds like a good idea too . Ok hope everyone has a good night🙂