Thinking….

So I believe  the last time I was on was Monday…hmm let’s  see that Is basically two days ago why does it seem so much longer then that…I guess my mind has been occupied , errands appointments and life what does that mean well let’s see keeping things moving along even though you feel like your the only one doing that and everyone else around you is just going to expect that you do  but they  do their own thing and you just want to throw your hands up and say okay I’m on strike …and let  them just deal with supper ..wash not worry if your kids school is falling apart because they don’t it will be fine I quote ..but sadlyyou do .let supper and wash be their thing because hmmm would it get done for you ? Yeah I’m tired of living  like everything  is the same as when we started this family  and it’s not the kids have grown my daughter an adult my son about 17 and everyone including myhubby has grown so why am I feeling like ‘ m in the same spot and go by the same routine  because  is that what mothers still do  when your kids grow up and do this   or is it me ? I have been doing a lot of thinking and I think I’m afraid to embrace the change even though I feel I’m ready …does that make since? Hmm still have some thinking to do.

Bah Hum Bug….

Unfortunately   I feel like a Bah Hum Bug this Christmas..I just feel like we all lost the true meaning of it. ..yes giving and receiving gifts are nice but it’s seems every year we go more and more extreme that it becomes like a chore then a pleasure we  empty our wallets its just doesn’t seem like it’s either not good enough or enough. I wish we could focus more on the company of others possibly instead of a present a good deed. a listening ear , not wait I want this or what that’s all I have. Sadly I believe it’s not going to change we have become so materialistic yes things are nice but they always end up getting forgotten put aside and then we are on to a new I need or want ..yes it’s life , what I would like is for peace, back track weeks months have back What I have lost and others who have lost as, well more nights at home with my family laughing , enjoying a movie together.  Kids grow up family gets smaller routines change but just maybe I can get my family to pick one night a month when their not working or with friends and have takeout laugh at a funny movie together. My husband and  I have been enjoying more quiet nights and watching a movie together but this would be nice to try  and be together .img_20161212_135812-1

 

Beautiful morning..

The Sun was so welcoming this morning after a cloudy day the day before . I couldn’t help myself to capture a picture on the way to school and yes my son was driving. It  was just so uplifting  It was well due needed the suns energy on me.. I have  been feeling so over whelmed lately with everything that has needed  to be done, paid etc…  that worrying as got the best of me which I do not like to let this  happen to often. I cannot wait for things to wined  down just a bit.I will   take it day by day or at least try to. I know there still is   the holidays to add in going to or try to take in stride  ….yes… do not get me wrong love the holidays I am just having a hard time getting into them  this year , much  .. much  harder when your kids are adults and teenagers so not the same …The magic of Santa is what I miss  the most especially this one memory  .  when  my kids where young. There Daycare use to give out these little packages of reindeer food which was oatmeal and other safe edible ingredients  if squirrels ate it  so Christmas eve before the kid’s would go to bed they would sprinkle it on the front yard  and Santa’s Reindeer would smell it and bring Santa to the house they did know after they did this they had to go to bed and they did hahaha   but it  was the look  their faces how they would light up as they sprinkled it well my son liked to throw it  🙂  my daughter was so dainty.. she would sprinkle it just so ..oh  how miss those moments.   I am happy we have those memories to look back on. I have now replaced it in which Is what we should  think more of is  counting our blessings , I always have but now it’s more meaningful when your kids are old enough to share this meaning with you,, happy they know what is important  there  also finding even though holidays are coming life is busy for them  and they still have their responsibilities  how life changes in  one blink. Where did all those years go?….hmm a question I ask myself at least once a day 🙂 So I am trying to just walk sometimes it’s a crawl  through this new journey of life but I do know somethings that  have  not changed  is still having  our schedule maybe a bit different  no more writing in kid play dates  to  or kid parties . now writing in  driving time for my son, exam fees due. Sport meets to be at.. work drop offs  yeah I think it’s a bit busier in a  different  way, and no more little kids running around the house with their friends but my son and daughters girlfriend  and boyfriend coming over  loud music banging through my sons wall my son and his friends coming and going through my front door my daughter  having a girls night with drinks and movies yes their 21 and her friends stay over good thing she has a furnished basement . but I  must admit I like the noise and there chaos 🙂 with all this newness comes a little more quiet nights home with just my husband and then that’s  when we find Some time  for a  ride and enjoy a coffee or grab takeout and settle in with a  good movie and enjoy one another’s company that time has changed more then ever we forget how it use to be just him and I so do not forget this a very important thing to remember when it comes to this for all of you new parents.  There  is  hope some things that do  not change 🙂 all though this I would not mind  is Laundry having to be done 😦  which my Son could do but mom does it better.hmmm good one on his part. lets not forget the rest of the housework ughhh …then dinners to  be made . yes  all the fun things. I must say I am happy today house work is done supper is ready to be made when time the comes and I actually enjoyed my coffee and news this morning I believe it was the sun yes going to hold on to that thought. and so now today is pretty much mine and my pups  yes my loyal friend. so I will wait for my favorite show  do some adult coloring and yes tweet love twitter… tomorrow will be another day oh yes …but today  It’s a me  day !!!

Love!!

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It’s a new day and a new President elected and    new laws that have passed that I am not to happy about.  I know some of us are happy and some of us are not  happy who is our new President but protesting doing it  violently is not the answer.  I am sorry for that but life will go on and hopefully we can find  some hope that things will change for the good. I do not like to talk about politics because to me it’s just a subject not all will ever agree on. I wish we could of voted for more good  more peace more morals and especially more love  the hate in this world is just  unbelievable I never seen it this bad and it’s so scary. we need to stand together and get stronger  and love more  to get through this world  how can we raise strong happy loving kids if all we show them is the negative’s I just do not believe we can …..I know I am going to try to keep showing my kids that there is good in this world still we just need to try harder and I know there are  other ways to deal with things  we do not agree on by using hate. I hope everyone gets some sleep tonight I know I am hoping to ..  a very late and long night.it was.

 

Hello, I am back!!!!

It’s a quiet cold windy Saturday  at home.  I sit  her watching the cat enjoy watching the leaves swirl around outside and the pups lay sleeping comfortably on my couch and I wonder why am I sitting here watching them doing something they enjoy. I should be doing something enjoyable so I stare at my laptop  then I turn away once again yes this is not the first time I have turned away. I scroll through Twitter ..Facebook and wonder why can I not get back on this blog? so many thinks to write about so many things to let go of, so today I have done it here I am . Bare with me the last time I have written was the end of June and the last thing  I believe I wrote was I  whining to a close friend that I didn’t want to be an adult anymore 🙂   I was tired sad okay feeling sorry for myself a bit yes it hurts to admit this  but come on haven’t we all felt this way at one time or another… YES!

So summer as come and gone and it was a summer of change sadness happiness and a lot of growing in many ways. My oldest my daughter turning 21  it’s so unbelievable to me that she  is officially an adult already , it feels like just yesterday watching her at the playground swinging on the monkey bars and playing hopscotch.  My youngest turning 16 and receiving his drivers permit  My Husband and Son spending a week in California because my son qualified for the Junior Olympics in running hurdles so that was both happy.. sad.. busy many days of running him to the gym the track to train  plus running him to work and drivers ed . See why I didn’t want to be an adult  hahaha but happy because we where all so proud of him and the sad part  because it was the first time him being away for his and my  birthday, my husband did have a cake for me the weekend before they left so that was a pleasant surprise but  to keep the cost down it was best that my husband just went with him plus my bad hip would not have been happy with all the walking. I stayed back with my daughter and we had a pretty calm week  went shopping stayed up late talking and she surprised me with a cake as well on my birthday  the week flew by and my husband and son made it home safely .What an experience they had though  my son loved California but did admit home wasn’t so bad after all quieter less people and much cooler  ..he said city life was not for him. hahaha He is like my husband more of a woodsy private person who enjoys the solitude of nature . Then the summer had its low points a young boy 13 yrs old lost his life to an all  terrain vehicle accident in our town and that twas just so heartbreaking it  just proved  to all of us in this quiet little town  even more how short life really is  so  I take back saying I do not want to be an adult. so you see  many new  and sad experiences this summer that yes have taught us more to appreciate what we have and  we should never take for granted.

now it’s Oct and there is foliage rides with my husband .Coffee trips with my daughter for a hot cup of Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte’s the best . A new school year sport events for my son .My son driving us with his drivers permit every chance he gets and then cozy night in bed cuddled up watching our favorite shows with our pups at the end of the bed .This might sound boring to some but to me this is everything after this summer and a lot of soul searching and feeling like there should be more well maybe there could be but right now this is  enough and everyday is a new learning experience I believe for my husband and I and us  spending more time alone together again. and  for myself to do what I never had time for in  awhile , that is why I started this blog and I am finding like this summer I will have days even months that I am not  on but please bare with me at those times. This is such a whole new world. When you have kids they become the center of your world and then they grow up and you find yourself almost lost because you can’t go back to that person you where before so much has changed you have changed   it’s like this whole new journey of rediscovering who you are  and what you do here on out it really can be so mind blowing I am sure I will have many things to tell. Stay tune. 🙂

The world as we know it..

The world we live in is becoming  a  sad hateful place violence is escalating  , people are becoming more miserable then nice . I love when I go food shopping and I smile at a passerby  or her in someone’s way unintentionally and I say oh sorry and I get glared at .okay yes we all do not like to food shop but it’s not just there,   it’s many places actually more and more are people are getting this way.When did it become harmful if we stated our opinion and its not what everyone else believes?  How do  we raise our kids in such a world where you cannot be proud of your children for what they believe in and stand up for   but worry  more what price they will pay, have we lost our way?, I’m afraid so ..Will things change for the better I only can hope and pray yes pray I believe there is a god and he looking down upon us and shaking his head .it’s a scary thought if that is the case .

Still here..

Hi to all my followers I’m still here . It’s been crazy busy since I last posted ..always at the end of the school year. My Son Seth  is keeping me physically and mentally busy.  Seth  and his track team won their last  meet of the year so that put them as  one of the  undefeated teams and now championships begin. What a beautiful moment to watch  when  their coaches and  the boys do a victory run around the track together. but bittersweet at the same time knowing it’s set in some of their minds the last time they will all run together as a team .  as the Seniors  now venture on to their next journey in life for some it will be  college others  the service, or jobs what ever they have chosen as their path at this moment  now that  they have done their time in High School,  for my son and the rest of his friends and team members  next year will be a little more tougher I know  getting back on that track with out their best friends  their hearts will be heavy  but like we all know this time always comes and is a marking stone to what the world has to offer and what we make of it. Now   the rest of his team will  move up and be come the good example for the younger kids as they have been taught when they started out.and show them as their best friends shown them how it’s done  ,they will be the leaders now, as for myself I will be the whisper in my sons ear .guiding him and hoping to keep him on this right path we call life….. now if he listens that will be his choice. and sometimes that’s all we have is the hope they listen.