Another night of poems..

Both kids are out with friends so my hubby and I are settled in getting ready for our shows , while waiting I read some more from the Pillow thoughts book of poems my daughter lend me . Here are a couple more poems I liked.

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Trying….failed

I’m trying I really am but the mother in me and my mouth opens and once again I’ve failed…. on New Years I didn’t make a resolution but a try to do better kind of thing, I was going to try to worry less try to not be the overprotective mother and well I failed that more then once this weekend and it’s only Saturday night. Uggg … Friday he went to the gym and it was getting past the time they close I texted him ….(my son) I should know by now that when he is warming his car up he is checking his messages if I waited just a bit longer he would of been home and that would of been that . Instead I got why are you texting me it’s not late … and attitude it was. Then just now because he is actually home tonight I drilled him where all his friends where and what they where doing and he looked at me like I had three eyes🙄 he said you question when I go out and now you question when I’m home ? I know I was that roll eye pout face teenager so why can’t I learn. I need to shut my mouth 😫

Lazy Sunday…

Slept In late after waking from a horrible dream, actually just really strange , My son stayed at his girlfriends house because her parents didn’t want him driving home past curfew since he stayed so late due to her and her family flying to Ireland for Christmas and the Christmas vacation to see her Grandparents so he wasn’t wanting to leave to early . I as well as my husband was happy  they where kind and understanding to let him stay, sad part he had to be to work early so that was a 5:30 morning drive home to get ready and go. Let’s just say he was a very tired guy when he returned home 7 hrs later from work so he slept the early evening away un till 8 tonight its 11 and he is sleeping now . Today was just one of those lazy cold winter day where everything feels off kilt a bit …. I’m sure the strange dream did not help Christmas is a week away and I still have not been able to get in the spirit I guess that’s not going to happen this year . So many  things have happened that have been sad and life changing for our family and others and it’s just so hard to wrap my mind around buying things …..things that are really do not seem important at the moment my kids just want gift cards and that’s doable because they will even admit they  really do not need anything . Times have changed😥  I believe the toy days where easier and more exciting to shop for.. Trying not to be a humbug but there are some yrs it happens.well I guess I should get some sleep . Everyone’s home and settled in so that is nice .hopefully it helps for a restful night😊

 

MTV The 80’s ….

My hubby was doing what he does best and flicking through channels on the TV and he came upon the 80’s music flashback …yes our era. Oh my do I feel old hahaha I can sing every word and I thought it would make me feel sad looking back but honestly I am very surprised …. I’m not I feel yes older but mature and not as young in my mind as much as I thought but younger then I should feel for my age that I have to admit…but content . A couple yrs back watching this would of sadden me hahaha if anything yes I miss the good times of my youth my friends ..dancing to this, crying over lost boyfriends over these songs but that’s what we did and now listening is like hmm ok this song I like this song no . I believe I finally got past my 80″s fetish except for my hair yes I still have long curly puffy hair but that’s me love my hair yes there’s some grey in it that needs to go 🙂 but honestly I think what saddens and makes me feel older is my kids growing up and not needing me like they use to . Makes since right?? I think so..

Nights Thinking… 

The evenings are so much shorter these days as I’m not just talking about it getting darker earlier , it just used to be consumed by early suppers then getting the kids doing and finishing their homework then baths and showers and one tv show and reading time and  then off to bed. Now it’s later suppers and whoever is here to eat what I make and when then earlier settling in bed to watch some shows but now replaced with catching up on them on stream lining NBC the next day because hubby has to get up so much earlier for work so earlier to bed because we are older now and mornings are not good without the proper sleep🙄 how things have changed … oh believe me this is not a rant or complaint just a sad statement to life  and how much it changed in the past couple of years . I’m adjusting it’s a lot more simple  and sometimes less stressful but I’m learning or should say my hubby and I are learning how to relate to our older kids now and our life with eachother again … you will be so surprised if your younger and just starting out with marriage, babies and your reading this and going what ? Believe me now that my kids have grown and we are less needed and the focus is not all on them . You  come to realize how much you and your better half have changed and grown it’s such an amazing thing . I find that we are settled in our own routine and that’s okay and we have our routine as a couple as well it’s so different how we relate now ,this whole new chapter . Waiting to be discovered .   

This place we call life…

Oh if life came with a manual …. how to treat others how to treat ourself  how to learn that growing means change and change is so important but can be so hard sometimes cruel but at the same time sometimes good a blessing if we only knew the answers to this thing called life but then what ? Would it help us would it only disappoint us when we fund out that this life we have to work for what we want . and who and to find that path on our owner we could fail.  . I know life is hard but once you get through the bad it’s beautiful but you have to take the chance and just do it if not how will you ever know. 

This place we call life…

Oh if life came with a manual …. how to treat others how to treat ourself  how to learn that growing means change and change is so important but can be so hard sometimes cruel but at the same time sometimes good a blessing if we only knew the answers to this thing called life but then what ? Would it help us would it only disappoint us when we fund out that this life we have to work for what we want . and who and to find that path on our owner we could fail.  . I know life is hard but once you get through the bad it’s beautiful but you have to take the chance and just do it if not how will you ever know.