Contentment versus Happiness?

Here is the definition of content and happiness some will argue this meaning doesn’t or shouldn’t go together. I do understand the definitions but… I feel at times content can be used as a safe haven to use as an excuse to not further grow in life . To be happy to have the settled approach is easier then changing because we all no change can be so hard. If we settle to what is ..even if it’s not a good thing we as human beings do because it’s so much easier. We learn to live , except . Are we happy ? That’s my question . Like I stated content follows happiness but I have found many to say their content they have their routine their material things . Are you happy though and I will hear yes but no . Hmm yes because your settled no because you are not enjoying what you want to in life . Happiness yes is a feeling and some say a desire. Only quoting of what I have heard . Why is being happy over being content so hard for people to except . Why does happiness have a negative if we do not follow it with content. Yes some are very happy with just being , good enough. But do not frown on if it’s not the same believe of others. For example. When I was younger and not a mother I was out going social . I was happy with being me happy and never doubted . Then I became a wife a mother and I slow changed yes as we do . Yes my focus was taken away from me and now directed towards my family. Yes I was happy yes I was content I knew nothing else . My focus was what was asked of me what you do . My writing etc everything I enjoyed that was apart of ME slowly faded . Yes I still wrote except my writing took on whole other meaning about family life. I was less social even though you would think I was around other parents constantly with play dates . They where not my close friends that faded as well. Yes all probably my doing because ones I focus on something I take it to the limit. Who would figure our kids would grow up πŸ™„ well they did . And I found my ” content life” was not the same . My kids could not be my main focus anymore . It left me wondering now what? I cannot keep going as I was .

I see life now as I use to be yes older but my need to bring back what I love my social side my silly side , to be me . Take care of me . To realize life doesn’t slow down after the kids are out of the house. That life is about change .. a good change. To take control of my health , my wants, And to me that is yes happiness and contentment.

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Time…,

Hours minutes seconds , yes time . Time that means nothing to a child . No cares. Freedom is in abundance. Endless days spent enjoying the warm soft grass under your toes. Endless nights chasing fireflies in our hands. Laughing over nothing at all but meant everything to the one you were laughing with. The day was ours.Then life grows busier, for some it’s families . We have responsibilities . And our time is not just ours time matters more . Freedom is not just ours. Kids come and grow years fly by in a blink of an eyeThen here we stand once again we find ourselves back to where we started hours minutes seconds mean nothing once again. Freedom is back in abundance . The days are ours again.

A beautiful day ..

This afternoon my daughter and I ventured out when we left the house it was down pouring. But knowing we were headed for our coffee and lattes it was perfect weather. Yes that’s what we do …we love our lattes. Starbucks had their pumpkin spice flavor out so we enjoyed them while we chatted in the parking lot where we were going to shop ,but coffee first always a given with us . And Starbucks pumpkin spice is the best! After we realized it was a holiday and all the college kids would be shopping. We managed to get through the crowded store and get the things we were looking for. The store was pretty much turned upside down by the college students. All in all it was a nice day spent with my daughter and when we walked out of the store the rain had stopped and the sun peaked out from the clouds . It was so beautiful to see. It’s a quiet rainy night now , yes the rain has decided to make its presence known again. The sound of the rain is calming though and I’m feeling happier ,chatted with my son earlier and he’s happy settling in with a routine. He has one more day until classes starts and is happily keeping himself busy. Now it’s my turn . As of tomorrow I will start my routine . And on the top of my list is spend more time with friends ! Get out more , and yes take care of me . πŸ™‚

Missing…

Woke to no shower running or the sound of car keys hitting the counter after coming in from an early run , no dishes banging around .. no blender screeching from a protein drink being made .. I think you get it πŸ™„ I’m pathetic . I never realize how much notice there was in the morning and yes you can see I miss all of them. I know I’ll get use to it and they’ll be weekends where I will hear all this again but for the moment it’s deafening … I need to get into a new routine. And it will wait until tomorrow when my other half goes back to work .. his running around like a chicken with his head cut off is a bit to too much .. bad enough weekends off from work he doesn’t know what to do with himself. But a three day weekend with the family dynamics changed he can not adapt to he loves routine but the same routine he has lived by for years ,sadly it cannot stay this way . I cannot stay that way ….. I’m craving , needing to change it up a bit it’s time . And I know it will help me if I do . Life moves and changes so fast and some do well with it after the kids grow up and some do not .. I know I can and I will but for now I’m going to embrace this feeling of missing because pushing this feeling side will not make it better, excepting it will and feeling it and then I can move on…

Feelings…

I woke with a nostalgic feeling.. I laid there in bed thinking how the time was here … my sons move out day to move in to his dorm. I made my way to a quick shower feeling a bit foggy head from my medication for my UTI but pushed forward. Made my way out to take the dose and grab a cup of coffee. My son asked me if I would help him pack his clothes .. of course I said. We talked and listen to music as we went through his clothes. And yes we laughed it was nice. I became quiet and he said oh mom don’t be sad I’m not going to be that far away you can do a day trip and come have lunch with me. I guess it’s just the fact of seeing his things packed up and not hearing the back door shut and close continually .The house will be quiet. I guess that’s my dread… I was handling his leaving pretty good for awhile but now as I sit here look at everything piled in the living room ready to go I’m feeling a bit sad. Always a mother… I am so proud of him and I want him to reach for the stars because I know he is capable of that . He has such drive and I know it will take him on any path he chooses. I have one plus I have my car back (hahaha) silly how that is one of the things I’m looking forward to. On Monday I will spend the day out shopping with my daughter and get our Starbucks pumpkin lattes . That is out. That will be fun a break up the week . Life once again changes .. oh how I got too comfortable with him being home again after Basic. Well time to get some sleep or at least try. Not holding out too much hope for that. πŸ™‚this just some of his tags he will be taking the rest is in his room .