Well another year coming to an end.. this year went by quick. I’m ready it’s whatever .. I just want to get back to the norm hubby needs to go back to work he’s getting bored .. my son flys out Thurs and I believe he is ready too . I am and have loved having him home but it’s exhausting watching his comings and goings with his friends . He needs to get back into a routine. My daughter pretty much is back to her routine, working , boyfriend , friends. Same ol but it’s tolerable . So all I hear is resolutions .. hmm I do not make any.I do not believe in it . Yes a new year a new fresh start but I will say I will just do better saving money , having more me time and stop feeling like I have to fix everything or make people happy.. need to step back . So changes is what I’m calling it. I want to start journaling and writing more, so I’m thinking I will concentrate on this a bit more as well. so we will see . I think some wine is in order soon for me .
Monday’s what can we say about Monday’s … their not the most favorable day 🙄 but this one I must admit wasn’t too bad , after a rainy dreary Sunday and no sleep the night before , it was nice to wake up to a bright sunny morning after a good nights sleep. and a very good hair day (hahaha) now to tell you what I did today well I don’t know it was a day of just whatever I enjoyed my cup of coffee a bit longer this morning . Chatted with a friend on Facebook . Then proceeded with getting supper going in the faithful crockpot . Then just chatted on and off with my daughter who had off today but spent the most part of her day down in her place as she cleaned it and hung out with her boyfriend who was over. I left went to the Post Office and there sat two letters from my son in our post box. It was nice to hear from him he is sounding much more mature . And excited about coming home for Christmas but actually now is switching gears … again … now instead of missing home he’s going on now how he thinks he’s going to miss the base it feels like home to him now the funny thing is I’m wondering because he is coming home for 12 days for Christmas and I’m thinking when he comes home to his bed , us , his old friends we could be dragging him to the airport to go back to AIT there. But I do understand and he’s made such great friends and even though they exchanged phone numbers and so on it won’t be the same as they move on to graduation and their AIT heading in different directions. One guy he is happy about because they realize they only live several town overs so hopefully they can catch up with one another. He’s come a long ways from feeling sappy to now going to miss being their .. oh home is going to be so boring for him. I’m thinking he may reach out even more to an Army career but will see he’s young and good at changing his mind a lot … it can make your head spin. Whatever he chooses I just hope it’s not settling for less in this town .. it’s a nice little town to raise a family and retire in but not for a active adventurous young guy . It can be a bad thing. So yes defiantly will see. I do know I love my kids will do anything for them but want them to be independent happy adults like we all hope and wish for. And I’m actually getting use to just doing whatever ..my lazy routine if you want me to admit it. (Hahaha) yes I know I’m limited as it is physically and so I know my limits … I just know I’m into a routine of keeping myself busy in simple ways . Taking to more friends doing more hobbies It will be nice to have a bit more activity in this quiet house . But Im just afraid he will come home and after awhile settle back into his old ways of doing his running and I wondering where he is .. I know what people have told me he’s part of the Army now so National Guard reserves or full time they own him and that has and will keep him knowing to be on the straight and narrow not that he never was he just loves late nights and keeping me wondering. Oh how things change and it’s so hard to adjust then you do and then things change again and you have to adjust again to that change .. this thing called life 🙂
I’ve realized I skipped a day of posting . Yesterday was a amazing happy day. Well all days are pretty good but this one was exceptionally happy. Finally heard from our Son since arriving in Missouri on base last week . He called to let me know his address and was finally heading to the Basic Training unit… yes took a bit I guess quite a process. He said he sent me several letters in the mail and if I received them ? As of yesterday I hadn’t but at least I heard his voice he sounded good but was persistent on my checking the mail .We got off the phone adding he wouldn’t be able to call for two weeks but send him letters .
Today I woke drank my cup of coffee did a bit of things around the house but was anxious to get to the post office to check for mail. The results were 4 letters all from my Son .. the thoughts, questions went through my mind as I drove home wondering why so many and what I would find in them . I arrived home settled in cozied up in my chair and started reading he went by 1st letter then 2nd letter so on.. I read and my heart felt every word I won’t say what he wrote .. somethings are personal . Let’s say a lot of adapting .. adjusting going on for him but as I got to the last letter #4 he was doing better. Things looked brighter . Then my wandering mind thought what would I right ? I know be uplifting encouraging words . But what for excitement he knows it’s not that exciting . But then again he was missing home .. so home it was ..now I can’t remember the last time I actually wrote a handwritten letter but once I got going the words flowed as did my fingers and within seconds I had filled a page . Writing felt so good . So refreshing then typing on a keyboard or tapping on a phone. Words just filled the page. There was seriousness and humor . It was just unbelievable I ended up with a two page letter for him was it exciting .? Couldn’t say but honest and straight from the heart it was . I folded it up and placed it in an envelope and drove back to the post office with in 15mins of it closing to get a stamp for it and mail it . I wanted him to have a letter on its to him to look forward to.
I’m thinking it has me wanting to start a journal again like back in the day when I had so many journals filled with thoughts ..dreams life . For now though I ll just keep the letter flowing he wants them needs them . I am so proud of him . And proud of myself for not over thinking and just letting go and just did what I needed he needed . Now I’m going to get off read my book and then say my prayers before bed . Good night everyone.
This afternoon while in town I notice how the leaves are changing I kind of feel like those leaves, changing myself …. I see the kids on the playground as I drive home and see them running laughing and it’s beautiful so young and free where did the time go … doesn’t seem like it was that long ago I was sitting on the ground with other parents chatting while all our kids played on the playground when School let out . How we would have to finally tell the kids it was time to head home . So we could settle in for the evening with supper , homework , baths and then a little time for some TV before bed. Now my day pretty much is all mine . After things around the house needs to be done , somethings never change . I’m slowly trying to let go of this strange guilt I hold over myself with all this free time to enjoy my soaps a bit more read a bit more chat with friends all day (hahaha) I do not know why I feel guilty doing nothing a bit more except for what I enjoy . My daughter thinks I’m too hard on myself . That I’ve earned this time since there is really no routine I need to follow anymore. I believe she’s right . I guess I’ve always have had been busy and now no so much until I find somethings to do .
Summer is coming to an end Days are getting shorter. .there is all this talk of School and college shopping and leaving in the air. My son is..was running constantly for the last two weeks trying to fit in moments with friends that are going away for college, let’s just say he has been in a mood .. and it’s understandable so much changing no more going back to high school with all his friends ,I believe all their comfort zones are disappearing and now their all going separate ways and it’s really hitting them now . So my sons mood is not easy to deal with it’s like all of us are walking on egg shells around him. I’m also thinking he’s thinking about going away himself ..but not soon enough he has about a month and two weeks so I’m sure this is weighing on his mind. and he’s thinking and thinking I’m getting a bit anxious as well as my other half … trying not to focus on it but it’s hard not too . I guess we are all facing this change with him. It’s been nice to have my other half on vacation this week to get us use to spending more time together as husband and wife then mom and dad .. did that make since? What I’m trying to say is we are doing more together just the two of us . Yes we do have are moments where we do not know what to talk about because it’s been for awhile our talks usually had something to do about the kids, Today we went out to eat for lunch with my other half’s side and it was just so strange not really talking about our kids well just about how are they doing what are they up to since the relatives are from Florida . It’s just that the whole scene was out of my comfort zone .a lot to get use too. I’m trying to take this one step one day at a time. I’ll let you know how that goes. For now I think I will let my book take my mind off of things for a bit . Good night everyone.
Hi everyone ! Haven’t blogged for days or maybe it just feels this way ( hahaha) been busy during the morning ,enjoying my coffee outside in the cooler temps and spending here and there time with my kids then evenings spent on the deck with my other half enjoying the stars and the cool refreshing night air. Been trying to learn the knack of meditating and let’s just say it’s not going very well, I am such a thinker so clearing my mind is not going to be easy. I’ve heard how meditating is such a good release . Now to to just be able to do it,I will keep trying . Also I have now started another book . So I’m happy to say I’m back into enjoying reading like I use to. It’s been a very different kind of summer. Learning new things about myself , and learning that change isn’t always a bad thing. and .., yes I do think that way . I’m happy to be connecting more with my older sister as well we have had a past of rough patches for many many years but this summer we have turned a corner and we have been able to get close again . I happy to say this is one of my many changes that have taken place that is so precious to me. I think the timing is perfect , we need each other and it’s great to have her in my kids life and I’m in theirs Life’s a funny twist of events . Some are easy and some so not . When you push through the not so easy it’s so rewarding . It makes anything possible. Well hate to cut this short but it’s getting late and I want to read a bit before getting some sleep , just wanted to let all of you know I’m still posting just it’s been a bit less lately . I’ll be posting more often once I get into my new routine of all my changes . Have a good night everyone!
I must say as crazy as this week has been I am finding more of a contentment with this new norm approaching .. my children now both out of high school , more in charge of themselves ,I’m finding a bit more of who I am again before kids ….yes defiantly different.. older , yes that’s a given, but more what I want to do then what I have to do . Yes of course I still need to keep the house up make meals for my other half and is it a have to no but yes I like a clean house and cooking is my thing 🙂 I’m having more time for me which is nice being with chatting with friends , writing , love my blogging friends I have a great group I love reading and commenting on . I’m reading more getting out more . Without the feeling of worrying I need to get back and take care of things . So yes this is a new journey and I need to stop looking back in which case is one of the things I do way to often and trying my hardest to change. It will come, well just noticed the time looking at midnight, started this post a bit late … was chatting with a friend earlier that took my evening up . Time for sleep . Good night everyone 🌙