So haven’t been feeling like myself lately…spacey flakey emotional and yes hot flashes night sweats. ..have you caught on? Hahaha actually not funny just down right miserable …so not liking this but then who does I heard . I’m am amazed how I just do not not feel like myself it’s like something or someone else took over my body . This yr has brought on so many changes around me from loss..to my teenager my baby getting his drivers license and just constantly on his own new path that has changed my mother duties to patrol monitor and more me time which is hard to get use to because I’m such a take care of someone person and now this change with me . My doctor says oh you will get through this take it one step at at time it’s easy for some but not for others well will see which one I am soon. I will keep you posted.
This week is my Sons Spring Vacation. It’s been a very different one. My Son goes to work then has an hr when he gets out of work to then get ready for track practice .then gets out of practice to galavant with his friends for a bit to feel like it’s a vacation. As for I it’s so layed back that it’s such an unfamiliar thing okay actually I shouldnt say that.. Im getting use to this change.He drives himself so I do my house duties then may take a ride and grab a coffee .I can my time and write. Change such a thing to get use to but not much of a choice you are given you just go with it.Tonight it’s chilly and raining so no star gazing My favorite Spring Summer past time so my hubby and I and Miss Abigail the kitty are settled in watching tv and I am adult coloring. All good. After s couple of days on the deck in the sun I need a break my face is a bit sunburned. Crazy weather Mother Nature is being moody I heard it is helping the tick population so start now and check your pet’s when they come inside and if you are hiking or in the woods working and your little ones are operating around in the high grass check them and yourself ‘ there predicting a bad season with them. Well in my area Alright everyone I’m going to enjoy my sons company for a bit now that he just arrived home before he goes out or goes to bed .
It’s a rainy Spring day and it was easy to get things done around the house that really needed to be done then rushing around so I could sit out on the deck in the sun or take a drive and get a coffee …believe not a bad thing but so hard to do house work then. Supper is cooking in the crock pot the delicious smell of chicken cooking fills the house.and dusting is done laundry is going now relaxing and thinking about what a friend going to call her that she is one of my followers on my blog and she has one herself and she gave great advice on my last post. on changes and so I am sitting here and thinking about what she said and making my list. I hope she reads this and knows how i am taking her advice. It’s hard though because the person I was before my kids is a bit different or maybe I just lost who i was and its covered under the surface of being the person i am now and I just have to bring that person back to the surface…does that make since ? if you read my last post you will hopefully understand . So I know one thing hahaha I did get a little bit more serious over the years and uptight more which I think I could let go a bit… and I need to let go of feeling guilty for wanting to have more time for what I enjoy when the only one holding me back is me. I think my kids want that because yes the string needs to be cut a bit . and there the ones cutting it and I am trying to hold on to . So hard this will take sometime maybe baby steps? ….yes that could work. I will get back to you on this.
Good thing I have many doors to my house, many comings and goings lately and I think more to come. I think it makes the kitty Miss Abigail’s head spin. since my son got his drivers license he is constantly going somewhere well in reason …..and my car as well right now it’s fine I do not have to get out has much in the winter my hip does not like the cold .So my Son does do well grabbing things if I need him to but lately I just go with my husband or daughter. When summer gets here it will be a different story he will need to have his own car. He is loving how he can just go and not have to wait for a ride and my husband and I actually enjoy the break of being a taxi. Never thought we would feel this way ,at first it was a little sad I felt not as needed but now I see he just needs me in a different way moral support, we talk more it’s nice this little boy that I once knew now stands in front of me a nice young man and now with my older daughter I have a whole new insight a new relationship of conversations laughs with them and their friends and yes the comings and goings and can’t forget a lot of quiet nights home with my husband also. Funny how life comes back around and so fast.
Dinner is done and cleaned up actually everyone was home tonight to eat.Tired….but home. My beautiful daughter brought me home an ice coffee for herself as well yes… an ice coffee you heard that right yes I dislike winter it’s cold out but sadly Ice coffee is the best anytime. so now settled in tired cranky teenage son hanging out in his room my hubby and daughter and I watching reruns of Friends well my daughter and I ,hubby fell asleep. My daughter and I love Friends it can always have us laughing it never gets old. They do not make many good TV shows like Friends anymore . Okay I am back… had to pause writing to bring my so called tired teenage son to a friends because they need to study for exams that are happening this week so he promised he would get sleep there will see …It’s not going to be me tired at track practice tomorrow.. oh teenagers you never know what direction your going with them. I will say the ride over to his friends gave me the opportunity to look at the amazing sky blanketed with the brightest stars shining like diamonds so beautiful and endless . love the night sky as much as I love my morning and evening sunsets just shows us somethings never change. That is a good thing. So now back home and once again settled in have a great night everyone.
Changes life’s way….everything is always changing sadly I am not very good with changes. changes need to happen that is how we grow or make things better but sometimes there hard ..sad changes and not wanted . A lot of them lately bitter sweet ones lets see soon we will all have a new President to some it’s good to others it isn’t we will have to learn to adapt which lately society is having a hard time of that and that is a worrisome thought. My Family and I have gone through a sad change our beloved pups past away before Christmas and it has not felt the same around our house especially for my daughters kitty Miss Abigail and I who spend most of our time in the house . Each day is getting a bit better but some days I feel like he is here because Miss Abigail does her hide in the corner then pounces in to empty air now like she is pouncing on the pups like she use to do, then they would chase each other down our hallway which is what Miss Abigail does after she pounces into empty air but something tells me she sees or feels her buddy …yes I believe in things like that it helps me get through with out him.
My Other change is in less then a month my youngest child will go for his drivers license and I am excited for him but worried at the same time because he is my youngest and he loves to always be on the go so I will have some or should say more sleepless nights. I just feels like yesterday he had just learned to pedal a bike how did time go by so fast its all so surreal . So make memories a lot of them a hold them tight because change has no time span and we are all on this crazy ride called life.
This is where I enjoy my first morning cup of coffee looking out this window ..and everything always looks the same but it’s not ,life changes in a blink of an eye everything feels so different. My kids have grown up my life has come less chaotic and quieter well some times if my son and his friends are here:) My loving little buddy my pups has gone over the Rainbow bridge no more by my side but forever in my heart he will be.. but I miss him so much .I know it’s only been two weeks but the heartbreak is still so fresh and that leaves me one less needed and busy. So as I sit here looking out I reflect on this past year, it’s been a sad and crazy one for a lot of people the world is getting a lot less safer the violence is so unbearable the attacks around the world.. to people just less kinder to nasty tragedies in our little Town . I know .. life is constantly changing just the way of life but some of the the changes are not positive no matter how positive we try to be….. some days does anyone wish it would slow down just a bit so we can catch up and breath and try to find a silver lining some where in all of this chaos? I do . So I sit here with my coffee and enjoy the sunrise shining in and know that I have this to look forward too and wish for better things in this world .