Pleasant surprises.

I must say as crazy as this week has been I am finding more of a contentment with this new norm approaching .. my children now both out of high school , more in charge of themselves ,I’m finding a bit more of who I am again before kids ….yes defiantly different.. older , yes that’s a given, but more what I want to do then what I have to do . Yes of course I still need to keep the house up make meals for my other half and is it a have to no but yes I like a clean house and cooking is my thing 🙂 I’m having more time for me which is nice being with chatting with friends , writing , love my blogging friends I have a great group I love reading and commenting on . I’m reading more getting out more . Without the feeling of worrying I need to get back and take care of things . So yes this is a new journey and I need to stop looking back in which case is one of the things I do way to often and trying my hardest to change. It will come, well just noticed the time looking at midnight, started this post a bit late … was chatting with a friend earlier that took my evening up . Time for sleep . Good night everyone 🌙

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Reconnecting…

I was reading a post just now from one of my favorite bloggers and she was talking about distance and reconnecting with her spouse who is deployed you would understand more if you check out her blog ,This Beautiful life it’s called .check her site out iit is beautiful , you will love her writing. And her she is such a nice person.

I’m laying here in bed and I’m thinking ..yes I know wrong time🙂 but the house is a bit warm so it’s hard to settle , so it dawned on me my daughter is 22 and living her life yes I see her but yes it’s not the same .My son is graduating and looking at college and army and well hmm . .. hubby and I have adapted to having kids around , taking care of them and soon it’s back to where we started full circle…yes a bit different we are still paren’ts but so not the same . We will be back to being us , a couple . I know it’s all apart of life but it’s new to us .. and well we need to reconnect our brains to let’s go to a movie … let’s go away for the weekend and we just can do it the two of us .. but then it’s what will we talk about it’s always been about the kids . Yes it was just us at one time BUT we are older , we both have changed it’s not like we can go back to who we use to be or do what we use to do life is different now we are different . So as my kids embark on their new journey their parents are as well. Reconnecting what a thought…

Growing Up…

Night has arrived and my heart is heavy. Yes I’m probably thinking too much but isn’t that what night does sometimes to people who think too much…. Its the School April vacation week and it’s just not the same . The days are too quiet and normal . The nights have been quiet as well . No loud music playing shaking the walls down ,no laughter of a house full of kids. No not having all our food ate up .

Instead the walls are not shaking just the sound of a movie playing in my sons room no laughter unless it’s my son laughing about something in the movie and a house is full of food . I know he’s growing up . The high school yrs are just about over , he’s done with work the ski season job is over so looking in the mean time for another but not having much luck . So it’s been going to the gym then to sport practice and then maybe one night he ate out after with his track friends but has been home the past 4 nights . I know I shouldn’t complain but this is just not how he is .The friend group has changed so he’s not hanging around with friends that are constantly running in between everything, the friends he has are doing what he is doing and as he puts it chilling at home at night. Does he miss the running hmmm I don’t know but why do I feel sorry for him? He came home tonight after gym and practice made his special diet for supper showered and then put on a movie in his room .. about an hour later he texted me ….yes he did I was in the living room. He asked if I would make him a pb&j sandwhich . How could I refuse 🙂 I brought it to him and there he was in his bed in his comfy clothes watching his movie and looking content so maybe he’s not missing the running around … maybe he is just growing up. Or maybe he’s doing wha I’m doing and thinking too much and needs a movie for distraction🙄 a lot of changes are happening to him and it’s fine if he’s actually chilling himself 😂 I need to stop thinking myself and let him be ,soon it’s back to school ,exams prepping for graduation college signups so yes I need to let him be…oh nights can do a number on you and Facebook as well al the posting of who’s doing what ugh need to stop comparing our family with others . That actually is maybe the problem … and him as well he seems to be on it a lot okay I need to stop …. always a mom…. well I do not hear the movie anymore he must have gone to bed. What I should be doing. Along with my hubby who is fast asleep …okay think I will good night everyone …

Monday!

Good Morning ! Unbelievable it’s Monday already . The last week of March and Easter , my hubby’s Birthday this weekend oh crazy of the timing this yr … but then again this is a bit of a crazy year … changes .. trying to go with the flow one step at a time . More like trudging through wet cement . Well that said 😦. How was everyone’s weekend ? I hope good . Sitting here looking out my window the sun is shinning the sky is a beautiful blue and the coffee taste good . Quiet at the moment soon my son will be up hustling and bustling around the kitchen getting his breakfast and showering to head off to school . I will just sit back give him a good morning and let him do his thing he is not a talkative morning person and he has his routine . Days of dragging him out of bed oh wait that was my daughter 🙂 he didn’t mind getting up and going to school he would do a mad dash to the kitchen for me to make him his breakfast that was something different every morning then dressing quickly and rushing me out to get him to school so he could play on the playground before school started. Where my daughter would eat the same breakfast get dressed slowly with a little push from me and wait till the bell was about to ring then just go into the school. … ahhh such opposites and still to this day. It alway felt like a tug of war being pulled into two different directions and now with them older and looking at them with their separate things going on and I still feeling that pull because I have something to say to both to help …suggest but can’t especially my adult daughter my son yes but will not listen hmm either of them will not listen. So yes hard to watch but at the moment it’s about the only thing to do I guess will see.. always a mom… 🙄 well my sons up so I guess I will go say good morning and then get back to whatever I need to do today.

Coloring !

It’s Sunday night hubby and I are watching the Winter Olympics and I am Adult Coloring . My nerves feel on edge ..this change of life is not easy to deal with …women you know what IM talking about My mood swings are the worst . I feel sorry for my hubby hahaha I warned him 🙂 ahhh he has is moods so its all good . So we thought we settle in our bedroom and watch tv and I will color as well . House is quiet except for the on and off sound of little paws sounding like she is doing laps around the house Miss Abigail in her active moments. My page is coming along , this one is time consuming but not challenging which is what I usually like so it will be nice to finish this one up and start a more challenging page. .

Once again …

Once again it’s the weekend . To me it’s another day okay that did not come out right, having the chronic disability I have has its moments of disappear For example today the sun is shining and my mind feels like it could run miles but my hip says otherwise … it’s hurting today more with the temps changing . My hubby went grocery shopping for me ,thankfully . I know I should be happy I do not have to do it but instead I feel not useful ,weak I hate this feeling . I know that the things I can do I should be thankful for I’m here I’m with my family I can cook for them I can talk with them but when they go off and do something as simple as a hike or my sons meets  or an all day shopping day with my daughter where I can not stand for long or walk for long periods of time is so frustrating . I know they understand but it’s hard and soon my kids won’t need me to cook for them or need laundry done  it’s already has been less  well my daughter does her own  and  my son does it on occasions ,  I know all good how it should be it just lets me feel useful .crazy thinking …I know.

My hubby is going through is own changes he is going to be 50 in April and is dreading it , to me age is just a number . I know he is thinking of his dad who will not be here for it since his passing this past August. He would just love to forget that day , So more then ever he is wanting to keep moving keep busy running hiking and sadly the things I can’t do with him and when the track meets and football games are over he will not know what to do with himself  even more .  I’m hoping to get up to Maine with him and sit on the beach , eat out at our favorite spots there ,  do more with just the two of us why not we sit home at night with each other  hahaha  we where going to go to the drive – ins last summer just the two of us but every time we had the chance they where showing a kid movie ,   Of course. Will play it by ear one day at a time for now to get through this winter and its ever changing weather . I have always been a reader Over the last several yrs I have not been as avid but now with more free time I’m picking it back up  and have a list of books I want to read . My hubby is not a reader . When it’s time to relax for the night it’s watching tv and then he falls asleep .. I love the adult coloring books , my daughter got me interested in them when she bought me my first book and now I’m hooked . I have several now. On nights  my

hubby falls asleep or I can’t sleep I read or color. My daughter laughs at me when I show here the finish page she will and I quote her “so you couldn’t sleep last night ”  🙂 Or how long did you wait up for Seth . Yeah she’s got my number 🙂  Getting back to the subject it’s hard when you want to do something but you can’t oh I could try but I know I will pay for it for days .there are things that are worth the pain but all in all its hard when your mind feels young but your body feels old.