The Nail……

Let me tell you about this nail , It’s not just any kind of nail It’s very special to me before I explain why let me tell how I came about it. On Valentines Day my family I went to church in honor of an anniversary mass for my husbands Grandmother who was a very special person in all of our lives. This day was special in so many ways …I stayed firm and my teenage son had nothing to say but was going …a battle that has been forever which is hard to take . So at Mass the Deacon spoke and he talked about love.. life and living getting harder.. times of lack of patience and just a lot of negativity ..this was amazing he hit on all the emotions I was feeling negativity lack of patience and then he took the nail out of his pocket and told us his father gave him a nail when he was younger and said put this in your right pocket and every time you say something bad about some one or hear someone saying something bad and you agree put this in your left pocket and when you   say a bad word put it back in the right pocket and so on….and at the end of the day think of how many times you may have had to do that and each day try to change what made you do that and see how less that nail moves and that means you are trying to at least be a better person. well I do not put it in my pocket…I keep it on my bedroom dresser next to a photo of my kid’s and it’s the first thing I see so I use it has a reminder to have the patience for my teenage son and to be a good person for them to follow and for me also knowing I am trying .Also  to not judge others for their actions even if  I disagree to just walk away …easier said then done. so I  just use it  as a guide to be a better person I know I can be happy with.20160303_153926

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Self discovery…

It’s February  vacation for my Son this week. let’s see I think since it began Sunday was the longest Ive seen him. Ever since that day he has been at friends houses and sleepovers . …he is definitely  my teenager. It’s all good this February   vacation has been moments of peacefulness contentment , I know what I mean or should say  what I  feel just trying to get it out in words will be hard but I will try so bare with me.On Sunday Valentines Day was celebrated by an anniversary Mass for my husbands grandmother . I grew up catholic  went to church every Sunday . Then married into a religious family brought raised my kid’s catholic but ….then life got crazy it was harder getting everyone to Church, yes sounds like excuses okay yes maybe??I will not deny. So we stop attending but I never stopped believing I say my prayers every night I still try to  instill this in my kid’s my daughter is an adult so this is her decision but my son is my struggle and  I mean a struggle and okay I do struggle with getting there too but once there I am good. I get this serene feeling that comes  over me. so yes this past weekend was a struggle  I held to it with my husbands help to get  my Son there  with us and the rest of the family .Off we went and it was such luck or fate I don’t know what to call it. the priest of the church ended up not feeling well so we had a retired priest that fills in and it was the one that my Son made his  first communion with and it was my sons last  class  that he taught then he retired . he is very dear to my heart and my sons he was down to earth but strict when he needed to be  but I always felt calmness with him so it was wonderful when we saw him and he was so happy to see my son hadn’t seen him and years and I think it was good for my son too, it made church go  so much smoother, the next thing that just seemed to fall into  place was when they said the sermon it was just  how I have been feeling the Deacon spoke and he talked about life getting more complicated  and parenting in  this day and age especially having  teenagers and finding the patience to parent them in this world ..etc.etc. My son and I looked at each other and just smirked it’s another moment I will never  forget.

Then my in-laws had made reservations at a restaurant which was the restaurant my husband and I  had our wedding reception at , as of Feb 25 th which will be 21 yrs this yr. so that was exciting and strange because we have not been back since our wedding My daughter had to work so it have been even better if she was there to share this with both my kid’s  oh but don’t you worry we will go back the four of us. So the day I was dreading because we had not been to church in awhile was turning out to be a moments of times  past, moments of signs  yes I do believe in signs and they seem to be every where that day  so amazing  how that happens .so this was so rewarding and did make me miss attending church like I should … so I’m thinking since the last two yrs have been a time of change I am thinking I may just start going to church on my own for my 0wn  peace of mind.  so we will see  life is funny at times and no matter how old we get we are always learning something new. I am learning about the next chapter of my life of taking care of my family but in a whole different way no more bedtime stories no more setting clothes out for them no holding their little hands while crossing the street. but letting go and trusting them letting them learn to cross the roads they go on with God guiding them and keeping them safe .