Feelings…

I woke with a nostalgic feeling.. I laid there in bed thinking how the time was here … my sons move out day to move in to his dorm. I made my way to a quick shower feeling a bit foggy head from my medication for my UTI but pushed forward. Made my way out to take the dose and grab a cup of coffee. My son asked me if I would help him pack his clothes .. of course I said. We talked and listen to music as we went through his clothes. And yes we laughed it was nice. I became quiet and he said oh mom don’t be sad I’m not going to be that far away you can do a day trip and come have lunch with me. I guess it’s just the fact of seeing his things packed up and not hearing the back door shut and close continually .The house will be quiet. I guess that’s my dread… I was handling his leaving pretty good for awhile but now as I sit here look at everything piled in the living room ready to go I’m feeling a bit sad. Always a mother… I am so proud of him and I want him to reach for the stars because I know he is capable of that . He has such drive and I know it will take him on any path he chooses. I have one plus I have my car back (hahaha) silly how that is one of the things I’m looking forward to. On Monday I will spend the day out shopping with my daughter and get our Starbucks pumpkin lattes . That is out. That will be fun a break up the week . Life once again changes .. oh how I got too comfortable with him being home again after Basic. Well time to get some sleep or at least try. Not holding out too much hope for that. 🙂this just some of his tags he will be taking the rest is in his room .

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New read and some downtime …

Hi everyone it’s been almost a week of not posting. I’ve been enjoying a new book .Thanks Diane! loving it so much. As well as some downtime .. I think the ac’s running so much this summer has done my sinus’s in.. soon I believe I will need to go to the Dr.’s and get some medication if there is no relieve soon. the past weekend we celebrated my daughters 24th birthday she had a great weekend it started with a Saturday night concert to see the Comeback of the Jonas Brothers. And ended with a beautiful cake on Sunday . And now all the birthdays are done and summer is widening down . Soon my son will be headed to college in about two weeks which I believe it’s time … he needs sone structure and routine and I need some time to myself once again.. Thankfully I have this beautiful book to relax with and focus on. I just hope I can stretch it out till my son leaves .. yes the air in my house is thick… 🙄 and well not feeling well does add to some anxiety .. so I am reading and reading ( hahaha) and did I say reading? To keep my sanity intact … so please bare with me . As I may not not be posting everyday . Until I feel better.

Rainy day…

I woke to a rainy day. After along night of reading . Did I finish it ? No! Two more chapters . Then I was over tired so I just laid here in the very lighted room from the full moon. ..not thinking about much just how the book may end . Should of just finished it hahaha) I woke at 6 then fell back to sleep ,waking and seeing it was 8:00 . I dragged my tired self out of bed and into the shower then yes straight to the coffee. My adult kids still asleep , I settled in my chair with my cup of coffee and news.

I heard my son wake and grab some coffee then disappearing back towards his room well that end of the house. My daughter appeared with Miss Abigail who yes studied the sectional .. my daughter told her no and she settled in her chair . I chatted with her while we enjoyed our coffee then was called by my son to please come to him … there I found him on the computer . And saw the letters FASA and I was like oh no I can’t 😂 he chuckled and said I need your help . Well let’s see after two hours of changing passwords getting the updated info he needed he had applied for financial aid. Yes college in the Fall.. and dorming. It’s only 45 minutes away but said this would just eat up gas and our driveway is horrible in the winter so easier to just be there. I couldn’t agree more .

The rest of the day was quiet . My daughter had work my son gym and still with friends happy though he has some jobs lined up . And his first National Guard job begins on April 2nd . He will be hoping to do the ROTC program his Sargent suggested to move his rank status.. any ways the day was quiet I watched my shows . And made a tuna casserole for supper okay doesn’t look that appetizing but it came out better then I thought . Hubby enjoyed it. It’s 9:30 my son is still out as well as my daughter now with her boyfriend . It’s cloudy so no full moon … hopefully will sleep better . Hubby and I watched our favorite show Seal Team that is back on with its new season. And now he is fast asleep. And soon I will try myself . It’s amazing it Friday already tomorrow. Saturday night my niece is turning 16 so she wants us all to go to her favorite place Texas Roadhouse for dinner. That will be a fun evening. My daughter unfortunately works till 8 that night but is fine if not going. I think I’ll bring her home a meal . My son said he will go he loves eating out . Plus loves that place as well. Okay it’s going on 10 I guess I’ll say goodnight . 🙂

Crazy time…

Summer is coming to an end Days are getting shorter. .there is all this talk of School and college shopping and leaving in the air. My son is..was running constantly for the last two weeks trying to fit in moments with friends that are going away for college, let’s just say he has been in a mood .. and it’s understandable so much changing no more going back to high school with all his friends ,I believe all their comfort zones are disappearing and now their all going separate ways and it’s really hitting them now . So my sons mood is not easy to deal with it’s like all of us are walking on egg shells around him. I’m also thinking he’s thinking about going away himself ..but not soon enough he has about a month and two weeks so I’m sure this is weighing on his mind. and he’s thinking and thinking I’m getting a bit anxious as well as my other half … trying not to focus on it but it’s hard not too . I guess we are all facing this change with him. It’s been nice to have my other half on vacation this week to get us use to spending more time together as husband and wife then mom and dad .. did that make since? What I’m trying to say is we are doing more together just the two of us . Yes we do have are moments where we do not know what to talk about because it’s been for awhile our talks usually had something to do about the kids, Today we went out to eat for lunch with my other half’s side and it was just so strange not really talking about our kids well just about how are they doing what are they up to since the relatives are from Florida . It’s just that the whole scene was out of my comfort zone .a lot to get use too. I’m trying to take this one step one day at a time. I’ll let you know how that goes. For now I think I will let my book take my mind off of things for a bit . Good night everyone.

Coloring … thinking😔

It’s Monday night and it’s been a day of too much thinking.. I think I’m as anxious as my son waiting to see if his letter comes in the mail ..hopefully an acceptance letter . I’m anxious for him but whatever happens I will be happy I just want him to be happy safe and healthy he wants to do the ROTC so the colleges he applied to will help him with that . The time is going so fast …too fast in 3 months he will graduate from High School and he’s in his last season of track and field and I know he’s sad because I saw his post on his Instagram that showed it.😔 so my thoughts got going and decided to color , happy now as I was coloring because my son came home and was happy … nooo no letter remember I checked already today 🙂he told us how he was going to do the pentathlon for our town he will be doing the biking part I’m sooo happy he has not done this in several years and him and the team did so good , I believe they where second place and he has a good team this time too. It’s so much fun to watch. Something to look forward too.

Thankfully I have this I love to do to occupy my mind. Its coming along good. This is so detailed and challenging and what I need right now ..To help keep my thoughts from swirling..well back to it I go 🙂

Finally settled in …

What an evening …. can I just take a moment and just breath … so my son had to finish doing his college financial aide application let me give you some advice do not type in your Social Security # wrong ,oh boy what a bit of a mess ,he thought he had it right no he didn’t …ugh had to redo it all over and twice my hubby was pacing hahaha I was just on the phone trying to talk to customer service . My son already ugly because he can’t run for two weeks or more so this just topped it off . Now luckily my son has cooled down hubby sleeping, my daughter settled in her place with Miss Abigail watching tv and I settled in and coloring . My happy place 🙂 on wards to the next dilemma but can it wait till tomorrow….

Right or wrong?

In my post last night I had mentioned I had a conversation with my son. and I had said it didn’t go as well as planned well I have decided my son is a teenager and definitely does not  or is in defiance, does not have a clue about life okay yes he is 16 maybe very social has a lot of drive… focus but maturity not. Okay yes we have all been 16 and we lived in our own worlds  and we thought life was so great and fun and we thought we knew everything and our parents we looked at them like they where aliens ….well that was the  look I did  towards my son. Nothing I said clicked nothing I said was right ,he contradicted himself through out the conversation. I was  dumbfounded and knew our talk was going in circles and I didn’t know who was chasing who. I stopped talking just let it go and he went in his room . I pondered the thought over and over in my head the one thing he said that kept slapping me in the face was I qoute  “You ask so much of me” “your always telling me to get a better job”  it’s always about money I need to concentrate on school  and sports ,okay one his father and I only ask for respect when he walks into the house and good grades . and yes we want him to do good with his sports and get into a good college so he can run for them and he is so good at it but its hard to take him after he gets so tired he  is exhausting after because he is ugly that I cannot take.who doesn’t want that and we only say things about his job because he his always complaining about money and his father and I feel he wants to hang out with his friends every night and eat out  in which case he contradicted himself when he said we do not do that as much now and I only need enough money for gas. yeah okay that’s why when this weeks Spring vacation is here he will be going out and why should we have to pay for that when we pay for everything else and he is able to work. hmm is he thinking of other parents…what is it with these kids and their drama they do not have a clue about life I know my son does not. where did we go wrong or his this just the teenage hormones and friends talking ? so I think as much as I do not want to it’s time to  back of  and let him eat his words and fail a bit. This is going to be very painful to watch.

Life.. teenagers ..changes it’s enough to make a parent crazy. I know all have been through it and survive but my day we worked for what we wanted we asked for nothing and we got it we where grateful .this generation just seems so arrogant and my Son tries to make it be that it  is me …oh no it is not and I am going to show him. wow that was a rant..hahaha okay guess I needed to get that out . Sorry Everyone. Just been a crazy ride on this new journey of being a teenager .Yes have an adult daughter but never went through any of this with her but they are 5yrs apart and so different from one another. Does anyone have any advice to give ? would love some.