Missing…

Woke to no shower running or the sound of car keys hitting the counter after coming in from an early run , no dishes banging around .. no blender screeching from a protein drink being made .. I think you get it 🙄 I’m pathetic . I never realize how much notice there was in the morning and yes you can see I miss all of them. I know I’ll get use to it and they’ll be weekends where I will hear all this again but for the moment it’s deafening … I need to get into a new routine. And it will wait until tomorrow when my other half goes back to work .. his running around like a chicken with his head cut off is a bit to too much .. bad enough weekends off from work he doesn’t know what to do with himself. But a three day weekend with the family dynamics changed he can not adapt to he loves routine but the same routine he has lived by for years ,sadly it cannot stay this way . I cannot stay that way ….. I’m craving , needing to change it up a bit it’s time . And I know it will help me if I do . Life moves and changes so fast and some do well with it after the kids grow up and some do not .. I know I can and I will but for now I’m going to embrace this feeling of missing because pushing this feeling side will not make it better, excepting it will and feeling it and then I can move on…

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Memorial Day ..not the Same…

Outside my door the winds have calmed the storms have passed ..for now. Settled in last night with my new book . After about 45 mins later I put my book down and shut the light off. It wasn’t that the book wasn’t good it was . I just wanted to lay there in the darkness and watch the flash of the lighting and hear the roll of the thunder . Love nighttime storms. As the storm came through flashing shadows on my wall I laid there taking it in thinking about the Memorial Day weekend approaching .. like everything things change. I know a part of life. Even if I wanted time to to stop it would not ..even for a moment . Even laying there watching the storm was different… my daughter at some friends house . My son tired from work in bed as well as my hubby just I watching it .No kids running into the bedroom or sitting in our living room watching counting between the lightening flashes. Just I … As this Memorial Day approaches this will not be the same as well. Yes they’ll be a cookout ,bonfire on one of the days but less around the fire. but our hearts with them . No friends sleeping over , no sleeping out in a tent and being waken by kids running in as fast as they can to sleep on the living room floor because they heard something in the woods. No movie nights with buckets of popcorn and wide eyed kids as they watched .No just my hubby and I watching a movie , or sitting and watching the stars , taking a ride . As our door swings open and close as my kids come and go from work. I will embrace this change and then the next one and the next one. But for now I will embrace this moment . with a smile on my face and also a tear in my eye.

Homebodies…

It’s a quiet Tuesday night at 8::41pm and my better half and I oh can’t forget  Miss Abigail are settled in bed with the air-conditioner blasting and watching Americas got talent nice place to be at the moment .  Yes we are proud homebodies getting use to it , yes sometimes it’s too quiet but it happens. and I  need to embrace this  new chaphter ,life is forever a change of moments and I know my better half and I have done our job ..but where not done yet we just  have more layed back days .My son is going into his senior yr of Highschool and it will get a bit busier  for a bit with his cross country and track meets and preparation for graduation . So right now homebodies is just fine.