why do I write ?..thoughts

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Why do I write? I believe it’s like a runner who loves to run it’s a need a drive . It’s something that your body craves when it discovers it just like how someones mind craves to write words down on paper that the mind wants to express,. and likes the feeling of freedom it gives them . Runners run to also relieve stress and clears their mind, same as it does for  a writer . Now the question is WHY do I write? well all that I have stated but it’s more then that I have been writing since I was a teenager I can’t count the amount of Journals I have had and then the endless amount of poems I’ve written thoughts that are in my head. When your a teenager my favorite place to take a notebook and pen and write was an old abandon covered bridge, listening to the walls of the old wood creak as the wind would blow through those warn down walls and the beautiful sound of the the stream  was a perfect place. I love the satisfaction of it .After I started a family I got busy with them and writing went to the side a bit. Off and on if I had a moment I would write but not as much as I wanted . I have  chronic hip issues and I cannot run to relieve my stress so writing helps a lot and now with my kids growing up my daughter an adult now and my son a teenager and another yr to graduate High school I have the  time now and do I need this more then ever.

I started this blog about a yr ago and it’s about my life with my family everyday life going on’s the stresses of having kids teenagers   writing about my other interests .To some who read this will probably get board and just pass by it and to some may like it for them thank you. believe me I am not writing this blog for a ton of views yes it would be nice it feels good when I see the likes but my simple little issues are not for everyone and I know that, but at times it does hurt when I do not get a like and I doubt myself and I question everything I wrote…yes my grammar is not up to date. the writing structure needs to be worked on but sadly I just get on here and just write what come out of my thoughts and really do not thing about it. but I do know I love all my followers and appreciate them and me and read my post. I try to as well.  So once again a big THANK YOU!

Sigh …day 2

So it’s the day after I wrote my post of a not so good day with my new/used car purchase . So like I wrote in my post on Wed The car was told to come back because things had not been serviced on it and probably should of never left their lot.

It’s Thursday and at 9:30 in the morning after a very long restless night and wake up call from a roaring wind that sounded as angry as I felt at that moment. So I grabbed some coffee and started  getting somethings done that consist of using electricity because I worried we could loose it . the phone rang and it was the car dealer , the service guy sounded up beat well of course he did .. and told me that my car was all set and yes it had some issues that  where fixed  now minor as of yesterday(read Tues post) Today not…. and everything he stated now proves to me if I had known at least one of those issues I would of walked out the door. okay of course they do not tell you but rules where broken and lies where said and they wanted this car gone and I am now even more  mad because my son drove that car in the past two days while his  car was getting some things done and I felt his car wasn’t safe …oh my… my new car was the one that really wasn’t safe. so they where not happy that I was not happy about the work they did and I told them I’m sorry but how can I possibly be happy. so with this  this wind I told them I was not driving in it  with their  car they loan to me and and I feel uncomfortable driving it, he understood hesitantly  and  told me  tomorrow would be fine. I am hoping when I do get  there do  I  can get a moment to speak to their manager and ask him or her if she knew about this and that  I hope this is not how they do all their business  because if my son , daughter myself  who drove that car with the unsafe issues  had had an accident they would not be happy for what they would be in for. I just hope some other family isn’t driving one of their  unserviced  vehicles..

Contentment…

It’s a three day weekend and so far it’s been a nice calm nothing that needs  to be done weekend,  happy for that I think I catching the cold my Son and husband have had.   On Saturday I did some decluttering  around the house and some dusting and rearranging things and as I was taking off the throw blankets on my sofa I moved my sofa cushion and under it I found a dog treat  I just stood there and smiled and thinking yes another sign like he was saying Hi mommy ..I know I haven’t lost my mind well not yet 🙂 to some it was just a treat that fell down in the sofa but to me it’s a sign he was was saying he was still with us in spirit and to me that is  a happier thought. As the day progressed my husband and son put our new TV stand up I am in the process of changing and as my son would say updating our house you would think this was an  old house no it isn’t but he is 16 and image  is everything. I am hoping his head comes out of the clouds soon. ..okay the old TV stand did have to go and now I am getting a new coffee table hopefully a newer sofa .  and new paint  on the walls as well. yes change.

Sunday it’s a much quieter day ,My daughter at work and my son off with his friends and Miss Abigail my daughters cat getting into everything is it. still a full moon? she has been a crazy cat lately. and I am still slowly going through our house and decluttering yes its another boring day I am sure some are thinking but I am actually content .I am not a winter person. and even though the sun is shining it is still to cold for me and why spend money on something silly when I can use it for things I want in my house. I m not trying to be fancy just comfortable we built this house 10 yrs ago and its not been changed around to much and it’s time and I never felt I had it cozy enough I like the cozy feeling so I am determine to do that . Tomorrow will get out because I know my husband is inching to he needs to be constantly on the go and I am just content to write take care of my home and family and well yes enjoy my coffee runs my addiction 🙂 but honestly it does not take much to make me happy especially now being older I have come to enjoy the little things in life ….is that so bad ?  Tell me I would love to know what you think Well my son is home and is hungry and mom is on duty .

Bah Hum Bug….

Unfortunately   I feel like a Bah Hum Bug this Christmas..I just feel like we all lost the true meaning of it. ..yes giving and receiving gifts are nice but it’s seems every year we go more and more extreme that it becomes like a chore then a pleasure we  empty our wallets its just doesn’t seem like it’s either not good enough or enough. I wish we could focus more on the company of others possibly instead of a present a good deed. a listening ear , not wait I want this or what that’s all I have. Sadly I believe it’s not going to change we have become so materialistic yes things are nice but they always end up getting forgotten put aside and then we are on to a new I need or want ..yes it’s life , what I would like is for peace, back track weeks months have back What I have lost and others who have lost as, well more nights at home with my family laughing , enjoying a movie together.  Kids grow up family gets smaller routines change but just maybe I can get my family to pick one night a month when their not working or with friends and have takeout laugh at a funny movie together. My husband and  I have been enjoying more quiet nights and watching a movie together but this would be nice to try  and be together .img_20161212_135812-1

 

Photo Monday .. Snow Day

Today was our first snow day of the school year. We spent it decorating our beautiful Christmas Tree my Son  picked out from the tree farm he working at this winter, all the employees get to pick out a free tree of their choice I must say he chose well it’s perfect. Our first real tree in 3 years . and as you can see in my second photo our snow day has ended in a beautiful sunny day as well as a breath taking blue sky. After a snow storm.it’s nice to see and now I am enjoying a nice hot cup of hot chocolate and enjoying the sun while its up.

 

 

 

The Rainbow Bridge..

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As I take a deep breath and I begin to type my fingers feel like they’re  fumbling over the keyboard, my heart is heavy and I am so far writing this without tears in my eyes, but give me time the tears will fall soon as they have been on and off all week. Dec 2nd was the last time I had wrote anything, my last post was about counting my blessings and I was on day 2 the day my  best friend, unconditionally  by my side and so very loved by my family, the protector and rascal and just sometimes a handful I swear he was a person in his past life 🙂 and so embedded in our hearts for the last 6 years and so very loved our beloved pups took a turn for the worse and we had to say goodbye to him. This was the the hardest thing we’ve ever had to  do. I know Oakland or to us Oakie  is in a better place with no more suffering and no more worries though. My husband and son did a beautiful job with tears in their eyes  with finding a perfect place on out property over looking his home in his roaming place and in the sunlight and now he has gone over the rainbow bridge and I am hoping it’s just as  bright and sunny and warm and he is running in green grass with all the beloved other pets that have passed and he is happy and barking and playing and he will suffer no more  with his issues he had come to us with . We called him 0ur pups  his first 3 years of life were not happy ones but his last years  were happy because we saved him, we tried to erase the miseries his first owners put upon him. They where not nice and he was not able to be a happy, loved dog. I do not believe he knew what love was until he came home with us, he was haunted by  anxiety and trust issues and was not  a dog who took well to visitors he would bark  and growl until he felt you were to be trusted  .. if you were lucky, he did love his sister which I would say a sister from another mother, my daughter loved that and always got a good laugh out of that because his sister is my daughter’s cat that she had brought home 3 yrs ago as a kitten and they became fast playmates  and good company  to one another when we all had to go out. I know Miss Abigail misses him so much  and she finds it just as quiet as we do everyday  this week or I should say it will be as of tomorrow Sunday , she roams through our house looking under things, around things for him before she finally settles down sometime I find her staring off in one direction or another then sprinting like she is spooked. I want to believe she feels him and she is chasing him, yes I do believe that is possible, why not? what does it hurt? He may have been a challenge  but to us and Miss Abigail  he was faithful cuddly  and loving. Yes, each day was a new challenge, but we made it through because we believed as long as we loved him that was all that mattered to him and us and he will never be forgotten. He will be missed, so missed. Every part of our house and life has a memory of him. So my Pups, Mama loves you, Daddy loves you,  Jamie loves you, Seth loves you and Abigail loves  you and I hope you know know that. It took me until today to write this because it was just too painful to say good bye to you on here where there are several  photos and posts about you and knowing I won’t be posting about you.  Well, maybe not, I will post memories .. and I want to thank my followers who loved my photo Monday of him from about two Mondays ago. Rest in peace, my Pups.

Hmm this is all I Have…

Oh boy this is going to be a long night. lets see my Son has been home long enough to eat dinner and tell his dad and I his day at school and practice if that… lets see our front door as had comings and goings with in the last hour of teenage boys including my son .I am thinking its not a homework night we will see. I trust them their all good kids just so hard keeping track I think it will be a texting night of where are you? before the evening is over . Now  my husband and I sit.. yes myself on the computer and him watching The wheel of fortune he loves that game show I can’t believe it still exists.  He started watching it again when one day him and my son where flipping through channels and they came upon it and my son challenged his father that he could get most of the puzzles right, I’m telling  you this happens all the time in my house with these guys…..yes sometimes it makes me a bit crazy but its all in good fun. I am waiting for shows to come on in a bit and that will be my husband and I cozy under our blankets in our bedroom with our pups faithfully sleeping at the end of the bed … hmmm at one time it was my husband myself and both of my kids at the end of our bed all covered up watching TV  with us,. then  my daughter after the shows where over she would tiredly walk with my  guidance to her room and my husband carring our son to his bed because he always feel asleep, now it’s replaced with me in bed watching our shows but my husband and I eyeing the time and myself texting my son in all capital letters GET HOME NOW!!!  it works. Oh a Mother;s job never done. I guess I will go settle and we will see if its going to be that kind of night…. Good Night Everyone.

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