Memories..

I know I just wrote a post, but I’m laying here cozy in my blanket the only lights lightening up the room is from our Christmas tree . My son did an excellent job picking it out and cutting it down. He works on a tree farm around this time on the weekends. And the only sound throughout the house is the country music playing on the TV classic station. This is one of my favorite time of the day when I can have moments to myself and think, reflect, sometimes it’s not good but for the most part it is. As I’m laying here going through posts a song came on bringing me back in time. My Father played this one song many times when there was such a thing as records and record players. When the song came on, it stopped me for a moment from reading so I could close my eyes and let the memories flow through my mind — such a cozy warm, loving feeling. Of home as a child and the feeling of. Security came over me. Life seem so endless. And free, not a care in the world. As the song played, I could see my childhood house and the sweet scent of my mom’s chocolate cake baking. She made the best cake and homemade buttercream frosting. It’s been many yrs since they passed, but I feel I miss them more than ever, especially in this past year. I really could use my mom’s late night talks and my dad’s joking that always had me laughing so much and yes his caring words. How I asked for so much advice from him always worried I asked too much but I guess not he always found the time for me. Lately I have seen cardinals more then ever I believe it’s him letting me know he is here . I hope so. I hope he can hear me. As I write this, I am surprised by the tears that are forming in my eyes. Sad, I am a 50 yr old woman and still could use my dad’s advice right now. Or even just a wink from him followed by everything will be fine. What he would say when I felt the world heavy on my shoulders. Life really can hurt sometimes. I do not have it bad. Just so many things have changed in the last several yrs, especially this past yr. And so many realizations I wish I had help sorting out with. Time may lesson grief, but it will never rid you of it. It only makes one song, one memory to bring that loss of them back. Just as I was trying to keep my posts up beat here, I go again. ..

Puzzling…

Friday morning woke from a dream that felt so real. I know we all have had that kind of dream. This though, was a dream like I have never had. It was so peaceful. Comforting. And felt so much love. I would say the rest, but you wouldn’t believe it. I’ll leave it at that . It was something so spiritual if that even describes it. And the rest of the day seems to follow suit in signs oh so many signs. A cardinal was appearing right in front of where my sister and I where parked on a bush while we’re talking about our parents that had passed many yrs ago. And then as fast as it appeared, it disappeared just wanting to show it’s presence. The day as I stated still followed with more signs. We went into a store that my sister had been In more than I could count, and I had never been in. It was like an indoor tag sale and antiques shop. This place was wall to wall stocked with everything you could ever imagine. I chuckled and stated that I would love to come upon an old fashioned stainless steel made meat grinder that back in the day you would clamp onto your counter and put whatever meat in it to hand spin the meat for sandwiches. I believe it’s could possibly be an antique. As a kid, I loved watching my mother use it. My sister agreed it would be something to find. As we browsed, I happened to look down at the same time as she did at this tin pail holding random items, and there was where we spotted the meat grinder And the look on our face. well, you could imagine was priceless. she reached down and grabbed it and said of all the things there was no price tag on it everything in the place has a tag on it and some things were so expensive I could only imagine. I asked the lady working, and she was like oh well that’s different and throughout a random amount. 5.00 dollars, all I could say was okay. Thinking though this was worth so much more. We left after that quickly.. She invited me to stay over her house and bake with her and her daughter and yes, drink coffee. She loved her coffee as well it’s a family thing. We stopped by my house so I could grab my things and off we went to her house that is our family homstead. So always going to her house is like going home again. She has redone it, and it looks beautiful, but it’s still home always will be. The three of us had a bunch of laughs and enjoyed homemade m&m cookies and coffee. Yes, I cheated on my diet, but so worth it. We stayed up way past midnight chatting . The day was absolutely amazing. There was many more signs and moments of discoveries . That proofed that our parents were still around us watching over us. Another time for that . When I post my meat grinder. I will say a lot I have discovered about my family and this thing called life and death . and even though someone has passed and we cannot see them . We can at least feel them if you open your heart and mind to it . Your heart is the easy part their your love ones . Wrapping your mind around it is another thing. For me both is easy for I feel very sensitive to this. It’s unbelievable but beautiful.

Going back home …

As a child we moved around a bit . My father never settled long with jobs always looking for something better. I believe he just love to travel. Then we ended back to my childhood home where I finished Elementary and and my teenage yrs in . Many night of sneaking out of my bedroom window well falling out of the window and falling back into it to meet up with friends and old crushes .. being 4″11 is a bit hard jumping up from the bulk head into the window. Oh the fun times that was. And many long nights of talking on the phone with teenage crushes and friends. the memories . Are so wonderful to have . My parents have been gone for 23 and 24 yrs now yes they passed within a yr from one another . My dad first and then my mom followed . Yes she had health issues but I so believe a broken heart as well. My older sister owns the house now and lives there with her teenage daughter recently separated from her husband. I stayed over last night (Friday night) and then spent the today as well there it was so relaxing we sat and drank many cups of coffee and tea and chatted and laughed through out the night . It was strange waking this morning in my old bedroom now that my niece occupies. A surreal feeling of sorts. Then it was more coffee , tea and great conversations and laughter. It was so relaxing and nice to catchup with her. Even though I only live 15 mins away we live different busy life’s so finding time to chat is sparse. So this was such a blessings. We are hoping to do this again . But I believe I need to let the coffee and tea wear off first before that happens again (hahaha)

Thursday already…

ahh I Slept 8 hrs last night that’s actually a record for me , if you read my last post you will see why I say this . I’m shocked it made sense ( haha) I was exhausted . I think tonight will not be an early night now that I feel refreshed .. oh this vicious cycle of an insomniac 🙄 It’s A Thursday night the sun has been down for a bit now . 8:00 and it’s slowly getting dark. Sadly I’m not crushed I’m looking forward to Fall . So I can go back to wearing boots legging and comfy sweaters. And yes all the Fall flavored coffees will come out . My daughter and I alway go to Starbucks when September arrives for our pumpkin spice flavor coffee. Coffee always Taste good but in the Fall it’s the best . Okay my post was not going to be all about coffee (haha) I could go on though for a while writing about it. It just taste so good. 🙂

Thursday already why… usually the week goes by slow. Next week it will after this weekend when I turn the big 50 ughh… it’s unbelievable even to myself how much I’m dreading this. Life really does fly by . Crazy how that happens. Trying not to think about it . Going to just celebrate it with my family at my favorite pub a nice simple dinner , maybe a drink , but then they have this really tasty expresso and seeing that I’m not much for alcohol I may just go for the expresso , I know a lot of people have big parties but I’m not really into that and it’s too . late to change now. I like the more intimate simple kind of night out. I stated before it doesn’t take much to make me happy . Simple that is what

Tuesday randomness..

It’s only Tuesday but feels like Friday .. this week is moving so slow. The next two days is dealing with vehicles going into the garage I am not looking forward to. My daughter wants me to go with her to our local garage for her car … I told her it’s easy enough she replies your so social they love you there you talk away with them . So I will be basically going to remind them what they need to check meanwhile will sit at the convenient store next to it and enjoy a coffee. Then Thurs other half’s truck that goes in ,that’s a drop off but then need to go back to get it. The errand I do not like to do. Well enough of that … anyways it’s been pretty quiet around here nature wise. I think the wildlife is hiding in the shade to stay cool. Over the weekend we did have a coyote in the yard . At first when we looked out we thought it was a dog. Okay I thought it was . My daughter looks at me and said that is no dog . Credits to her for trying to get a picture of him. Any move we made he looked towards us. So she just kept snapping pictures . The pics will give you an idea of this guy . Defiantly pretty and the biggest one we have seen in awhile . Im wondering if this is why we are not seeing our fox that comes around every evening. I hope that is the only reason.

Rain coming in Wed and Thurs cannot wait we really need it. The grass is burning and the rivers are looking a bit to low. The rain will be welcoming. Along with it warmer temps looking like the weekend will be over a 100 and humid. The Weathermen are warning the dew point will be at dangerous levels… a good time to read my book. Every-time I pick up my book I’m interrupted by my other half turning on a movie and asking me to watch with him or it’s look ..oh did you see that . Or my daughter wanting to talk and once we get talking we could talk all night . My son is fine he just sits quietly as he goes through his phone . Sometimes quiet . I can see him out of the corner of my eye making funny faces and laughing… the world of Snapchat. For the life of me I can not figure that out and I guess I really do not need to. Well it’s 8:00 at night and I’m noticing it’s getting a bit darker out earlier each night. Where did this summer go? I quess its time to read some blogs and then get some sleep. Night everyone.

End of a long week..

This week of endless humidity has finally came to an end for now at least , until Wed when their forecasting an even warmer and humid rest of next week. Happy as well to see last week end … was in a bit of a funk… it is time to face the new paths that life is throwing at me from every direction. Time to do what is right for me . I quote a few special friends on here that have told me this. It’s heard but time. Need to be happy finding my way in this next chapter of life. I guess it’s not so bad to just be…. have I excepted the age I’m turning…. hmm NO! (Hahaha) for now I’ll work on those new paths .With that said and done . I’ve had a quiet nice start of a weekend. Let’s see On Friday night hubby and I enjoyed watching the movie Bohemian Rhapsody . I was hesitant but watched it because my hubby loves the band and I remember when we first started dating he had a phase where he played their cassettes , yes I said cassettes , 🙂constantly.. I do like some of their songs . It was interesting I must say … a good interesting. That filled our night. Once settling I received a text that my son would be out with friends after his late shift at work , my daughter out as well. So we decided to get some sleep . A light sleep at that … our front door swung open and shut several times as each came home and I heard them , then my daughter texting me from her place are you awake hmm ..!of course I was this was about 1 in the morning she loves night time chats as I do . They are the best. We talked for a bit then we decided to get some sleep.

I woke to the sound of my hubby and son banging around in the kitchen figuring it was time to get up myself grab a quick shower and coffee. My hubby and son where heading out the door to drop off my sons motorcycle for some work on it. Yes he has a motorcycle . Had me a bit frazzled for a couple of weeks I’m not frazzled now but it still makes me say a little prayer when he drives out of the driveway and second one at that within two months first one he decided wasn’t big enough🙄 Ive come to except this one as well . I really have no choice not to ..he is an adult.

Enjoying this mornings coffee with my daughter and a good conversation was a nice start to this day. She laughed as she saw me and hearing me sing as I added some songs from Queen in my playlist on my Chromebook that had stuck in my head after the movie. She made me laugh when she said I looked so happy as I was singing when she came up from her place. 🤷🏻‍♀️ after that the guys arrived home and I left with my hubby to do some Saturday errands and of course a coffee …. love my coffee. No errands or ride is complete with out a coffee stop . Once home hubby went for a run and I caught up with a friend Ive known since Elementary School. She is a nurse and works at night so we try to catchup as often as we can . Even though she’s busy she makes a point to always check in and see how things are going as I do with her. That pretty much filled the rest of my afternoon so now supper is done and cleaned up. Both kids out son working daughter with a friend. I’m going to start a new book . I had posted one recently but just could not get into it. My sister is a huge Stephen King fan and has all of them plus waiting for his newest one she preordered . I have read several and enjoyed them . They have spooked me at times but a good spook this one is called Lisey’s Story 509 pages ..this may take me till Fall to finish. I can’t remember if I posted this but here it is anyways…. so far it’s really good . I’ll keep you posted how it is . It’s 8:30 hubby is watching the Baseball game and I think I will get some reading done. Have a great night everyone.

Fourth of July…

Hi everyone! I’m finally posting after about a week .. Im learning to let go and yes realize I am not in control of anything .. who is right? But we try …. so I needed a break or should say really should say I just couldn’t write. Anyway this Fourth of July went along with exactly how I have been feeling, go figure… it was not a disappointment but a learning one. My daughter had to work but I was able to spend the day before out and about with her. My son had off and he thought we would be going to my hubby’s brother for a day in their pool and family ….. nothing , no phone call no reaching out with an invite so nothing on my hubby side ..and so my hubby and I and son made the best of it . We went for dinner at Chili’s I had never been . The food was delicious my hubby and I both had the chicken enchiladas while my son had one of their big burgers and fries after eating an appetizer of two Hamburg sliders wings and These nachos that I didn’t get a picture of. After the meal we left and went to see the fireworks for a small town they were pretty good . A lot of people and little ones running around with their glow bracelets and necklaces, so cute . My son said he remember those days like they were just yesterday. We laughed when I took a pic of him sitting with us to send to my daughter after telling her it wasn’t the same as when they were little , and wrote under pic this is my baby .. she did the laughing crying face and said it was hysterical … my son did not find it amusing (hahaha) but all in all it was nice . Came home after and chatted with my daughter and then as it became later we all settled in for the night.. Any phone calls from my hubby’s fam ? Nothing …. got to love family. Tonight there will be fireworks in our next town that they all go to we do too ..this year we will not unless my daughter makes it after work in time with here boyfriend . My son works and my hubby and I will be at my sisters for a birthday party for my niece. Today is just a typicalFriday but with my hubby off . Funny how you learn and wonder tho why do things have to be this way. But it all turned out my hubby and I made the best of this holiday and came out of it with a new perspective. ..