So I believe the last time I was on was Monday…hmm let’s see that Is basically two days ago why does it seem so much longer then that…I guess my mind has been occupied , errands appointments and life what does that mean well let’s see keeping things moving along even though you feel like your the only one doing that and everyone else around you is just going to expect that you do but they do their own thing and you just want to throw your hands up and say okay I’m on strike …and let them just deal with supper ..wash not worry if your kids school is falling apart because they don’t it will be fine I quote ..but sadlyyou do .let supper and wash be their thing because hmmm would it get done for you ? Yeah I’m tired of living like everything is the same as when we started this family and it’s not the kids have grown my daughter an adult my son about 17 and everyone including myhubby has grown so why am I feeling like ‘ m in the same spot and go by the same routine because is that what mothers still do when your kids grow up and do this or is it me ? I have been doing a lot of thinking and I think I’m afraid to embrace the change even though I feel I’m ready …does that make since? Hmm still have some thinking to do.
Good thing I have many doors to my house, many comings and goings lately and I think more to come. I think it makes the kitty Miss Abigail’s head spin. since my son got his drivers license he is constantly going somewhere well in reason …..and my car as well right now it’s fine I do not have to get out has much in the winter my hip does not like the cold .So my Son does do well grabbing things if I need him to but lately I just go with my husband or daughter. When summer gets here it will be a different story he will need to have his own car. He is loving how he can just go and not have to wait for a ride and my husband and I actually enjoy the break of being a taxi. Never thought we would feel this way ,at first it was a little sad I felt not as needed but now I see he just needs me in a different way moral support, we talk more it’s nice this little boy that I once knew now stands in front of me a nice young man and now with my older daughter I have a whole new insight a new relationship of conversations laughs with them and their friends and yes the comings and goings and can’t forget a lot of quiet nights home with my husband also. Funny how life comes back around and so fast.
This is my Monday photo, your probably asking why a high school track? well..as I sit here writing this and enjoying my morning coffee I’m feeling a little sadness anxiety but also happiness for my son being the month of May now…already only a month left of school for the Seniors and a then after that only three weeks left of school for my son .My son who is a sophomore who will miss his is best friends immensely who are seniors . My son and his friends have put so much time patience, endurance, sweat, love on this track and who some may call it their second home. moments of laughter and fun times. I know when the end of the month comes it will be on their minds ..Its not over my son he has 2 more years on these tracks but I am sure it will be a bitter sweet moment when him and his friends start back up in the Fall with out their best buds. Growing up is so hard it is a bitter sweet moment when we get to this point in life where we are ready to move on but sadly look back at what and who we leave behind.
This tattered Swing didn’t always look this way it has had many summer and fall play , my son when he was 5 could swing for hours if I couldn’t find him right off I knew if I looked down where the swing was there he was swinging as high as he could go and smiling either looking at the big blue sky or straight ahead with a big smile cross his face or my daughter standing on it swaying and giggling while her friends as they twisted it around and around then let go as she spun holding on tight and enjoying the ride. that simple swing brought so many hours of enjoyment to them.Now it sits lonely most of the time only swings if the wind blows or if my son sits on it as he waits for his friends to show . It’s a funny thing the kid’s have never questioned why we haven’t taken it down..I am happy for that because when I drive down my driveway my eyes always focus on it and I think of all those summers and fall days of my children swinging and I can still hear their laughter the beautiful sound of childhood and then the sound of the rope as it rubbed on the tree as it swung back and forth and I hope when my kids drive by they have the same happy thoughts.
My Son as soon as he got home from school and practice ate supper announces he is going to a friends house just as I see headlights coming down my driveway…hmm he planned that well . A new thing lately with asking or saying what he is doing while car lights appear…so I do the drill where are you going what are you doing and me finishing with becarefull and replies mother don’t worry ..did he just say that what are we good at as mothers worrying I told him you are my child I will always worry about you and your sister no matter how old you get. he just shrugs gives m that side smile and out the door he goes. I look at my husband and we just shake our heads I think back to when I was his age a sophomore was I like that? oh my yes I was the worry I must of put my mom through. she wouldn’t have admit it but I now realize when I stayed out a little to late to her liking the next time I wanted to go out it was a quick “NO” now we have good old texting, okay that doesn’t always work like when he has his cell volume down so he says … but if I do not hear from him believe me I will when I say call me or text me back or your grounded .. oh what we go through… so has I sit here writing this I’m waiting to see car lights come down my driveway. A mothers life is not always easy. It’s hard to let them go and know and hope they will make the right choices , we love our kid’s so much we do anything for them if we could .