Friday friend night..

Friday came with the rain gently hitting the window. Happy it wasn’t snow. Sadly I know it will happen. Thursday night, my friend texted me and asked if I would like to get together with her on Friday night? Very spontaneous for us because she is a planner. We enjoyed dinner out at one of our favorite places. The restaurant was busy, but we were able to stay seated for a little over an hour. We are regulars. We think they like to see how many times they will fill my coffee cup. (haha) Yes, no alcohol for us. Coffee and water are my poison. Water with lemon is hers. We have such great conversations and laughs that it’s not needed. We decided it was time to give up the booth; either of us was ready to call it a night. So we decided to get in my car and take a drive so we could chat a bit longer. We manage to talk and laugh for 5 hours. This dinner started at five 😊 spontaneous was such a good thing to do. Now we have decided it would be a good idea to get together whenever. We both know there will be days where we will have to plan. But have realized that this is going to be our new regular on our new journey of this chapter of our life.

This whole parent thing is so changeable. We start first with just going out drinking, dancing. Working, no taking care of children to then having that responsibility and it consuming us. That if you do not pay attention to it, you can lose sight of so many other essential things as well. We tend not to imagine our Children growing and living their own lives. Then when this day comes, we tend to be shell shocked. And we are finding a way out of the rabbit hole to ourselves, once. Again and for some, this is comfortable others like my friend and me no. It is a learning experience. We are finding out so many new and similar things about one another; it’s quite interesting. I do know it will be an exciting and memorable time for us.

Why not….

I woke from a dream thinking the ground was covered in white. Sweet thing about that dream .. it was wrong . 🙂 not ready I do not think I’ll ever be ready but it will be here shortly. The weekend forecast it looking brutally cold. You will find me reading blogging and under my cozy blanket with cups of steamy coffee and tea, if the sun is out and bright I may venture out though. Have to have my sun.

No snow but tons and tons of rain . I can handle the rain. My daughter and I went to some appointments and then a coffee stop. We stopped in to the cell phone store. Sadly this morning she woke to her cell not turning back on. Let’s see it’s 5 yrs old so she has done well with it . The phone really doesn’t exist anymore. She got onto a cell phone plan .Not a bad deal for the newest iPhone. She couldn’t resist . The deal yes was that good. And I told her to go for it . She has never asked or wanted much . She has a heart of gold that gets used way too much . And with her depression I felt she deserved a little happiness even if it’s a materialistic one. I told her I would help her I paid the tax and start up fee plus a case she definitely needed . It’s basically part of Christmas gift . She loves her phone and out of all of us she had the oldest phone. The look on her face when they brought out the phones to pick a color she would like was priceless. I wanted to cry. I know … I’m such a crier… but oh her face lit up . It’s not often I see her face light up like that.

Now it’s 10:30 at night I’m settled on the couch everyone’s in bed as usual except me. To early for me. My son will be home as of tomorrow for the long holiday weekend from college . He will come In like a hurricane and leave like a hurricane. Maybe….. he will get some catch up sleep . Doesn’t sleep well in his dorm. Well how appropriate on the country station I’m softly listening to , Martina McBride’s song My Daughters Eyes is playing . Here I go again tearing up. Okay that’s over … so now to try some more of the audiobook I started . I’ll settle under my blanket a bit more and listen to it . Let’s see if I fall asleep to it again. Lol. I’ll let you know tomorrow.

Watching , thinking….

As I sat at the parking lot in the quietness of my car while my daughter went quickly into the store . The late evening was showing it’s arrival with the darkening sky the parking lot light came on. Setting a dim shadow across the parking lot . People walked in and out of the store . As I watched I could hear the echoing sounds from the outside the laughter and chatter of people . Some young girls holding on one another laughing to one another and zig zagging as they bumped into one another . There were some where they walked in alone smile on their face and a bounce in their footsteps looking like they found the key to life’s happiness. Then there was the people who walked alone at a slow unsure pace shoulders slouched and no smile upon their face. Maybe a bad day .. or just thinking? All I know is yes I was thinking .. always thinking. Sometimes we think we can perceive someone by their appearance their actions. Sometimes not But do we ever really know their story. Do we care ? Should we ? Yes I believe so . I think we should keep our eyes wide open . You never know when you will see someone’s actions for a cry for help , for a listening ear a shoulder to lean on. Just to care even if it lifts them up in that moment or day. If there is something their going through. And why should we be aware ? maybe one day we may need to have , Hope someone will notice our actions and ask if we need a shoulder to lean on.

Signs…

It’s close to noon on a beautiful Bright Sunday . I’m am just sitting enjoying my first cup of coffee. Yes a bit late , lazy morning. For all of you who read my post ,if you haven’t read it this will not make sense . Yesterday as I posted started at 6 in the morning .. (early for me ). And a good start I was sore but I was full of positivity . I was going to do what I needed .. could do . I did but as the day went on and people came and went and I became a bit more sore . The pity party struck me. I wanted to go places be active my energy level was so high but my body said no . I may have pushed it a bit more then I was told . Sadly I’m not one to be told what to do . And I dislike to be held back . I’m a fighter . I do . Hmm I wonder where my kids get this attitude. So yes as the day progressed . Pity turned into anger. Once again I so do not like to get angry because I do not often take it out on people but on myself . But you can still feel the vibe if your in my presence .

In a blink of an eye the signs came to light first it started with my daughter sending me a text on her work break. She rarely drinks Coca Cola and she grabbed a bottle without looking at it she went to sit and drink it . On the bottles some have random names on them . She texted me a pick of the bottle she wrote under I just noticed this mom look at the name . In huge letters was Francis . I was in awe I couldn’t believe it but a smile came over my face . It was my Dad’s name rare name especially on a soda bottle and when I was at a low point and my daughter having some bad days herself there he was showing us he was near . When he was sick he said he would always be there . My daughter was the last grandchild he saw born . She was 6 months when he passed . He loved her so much and told her one day as he was holding her ” this will be your world enjoy it be strong” sorry tears but happy ones are forming in my eyes. He told me to ” let him go to say goodbye before he got worse “he didn’t want me to watch him die. He said” enjoy your beautiful little girl focus on her love her be happy” so I did what he asked. It’s been unbelievably 24 yrs and I know he still sends me signs especially when I am down . He was showing us he was still with us. Some can be skeptical but I believe that was not random the name on the bottle.

Second sign but this happen to a my friend of mine . she was telling me about it yesterday as well . A ring she loved and wore constantly she lost months ago she’s a nurse so she thought it came off in one of the gloves she has to wear she looked every where as well for it no luck. She was cleaning her bedroom and she said she looked down on her dresser where she had a little basket that held her favorite rings . And there did she notice sitting on top of the others was the ring . She said she was so dumbfounded said she looked through it many times even grabbed other ring from it and it was not there . She asked all her family members if they found it and put it there . They told her they never saw or new it was missing so no. I said to her ” you do know what month it is”? She was silent for a moment I asked if she was still there? She said ” oh my Kim do you think” I told her yes . Her only and younger sister passed away 3 yrs ago of this month next week it will actually be 3 yrs . I am such a believer in all of this . I feel this so deeply. So I do believe she had a part in this . Okay last sign and yes a long post this is. My son came home while I was up watching a movie at midnight he was with friends all day . He told me how one of his friends had a bad day . Bad day is not the word I would use. He showed me a photo it was a car his mother handed down to him when she bought a new one , he only had it 3months … coming home from college for the long weekend with his girlfriend they were hit by a guy who was weaving in and out of the passing lanes and speeding on the highway.He hit him my sons friends car flipped twice and the suv not car was completely gone the photo showed pieces of the car all over the road . Him and his girlfriend walked away from it without a scratch . Yes a bit shaken up but good . People showing at the scene couldn’t believe it , this could , should had killed or at least hurt them . But nothing and thankful for that . Not their time. I do believe So after my son went to bed I sat there in the dark and silence andI told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself that there is so much worse things in life and this is just a little set back and that life is a gift , and we need to honor this gift whether it’s a love one guiding us that has moved on from this world or an experience of an accident we need to get up be thankful smile , be happy and stay strong . Life is not easy by any means but it’s so worth it.think about that as you go along with your day.🙂

Random thoughts …writing.

Get up smile , face the day with some good thoughts . Let nothing sadden you , let the thoughts in your head that are begging you to let in all the negative thoughts push them away . Be strong, laugh let the day be yours . Fill it with all the things you enjoy . Take a drive turn up the radio sing to your favorite songs. Or just sit outside and let the sun shine on your face . But just keep smiling. Be kind to others even if they are not kind to you because you may teach them how to be nice .. or maybe not but you will be happier for it .I know I never want to be a grumpy older person I know we never know what someone is going through . I’m just stating I do not let age get the better of me. . I want to always be able to laugh . Let my heart feel joy not sorrow. Yes there will always be some bad days but only for a moment. Keep moving forward . You will be happier in the end the reward is amazing. It’s a happier you.

Comfort..

It’s 10:30 at night laying in bed enjoying my book . It feels good to finally settle and read . My comfort zone. The house is quiet everyone is home and settled in their rooms . The fan is all that echos through the house as I read. This was so needed . It stops my thinking wandering thoughts. In which case is always something I do. But for now I am focused on the story my book tells . And it’s comforting. I think another chapter or two then I will get some sleep. Good night everyone.

Writing letters ..

There is nothing better then the feeling you get when writing a letter . Somethings shouldn’t .. must not become the thing of the past. It’s such a beautiful , peaceful feeling when the words flow from the pen in your hands . Your fingers writing out the words you hope makes someone’s day ..brings a smile to their face or a laugh to their ears .It can be a random topic of silliness or a encouraging message . And yes it can at times be sad so a comforting word or two to get them through..but I only hope it’s always good. It can be a long turning of pages or just one page it does not matter how long or short it’s the words that matter and touch their heart and soul. Write a letter sometime , give it a try and see how it makes you and that special person who is receiving it makes them feel. ❤️