It’s 6:43 here and this day has been long and teary.. for my son its even longer only 5:43 where he is waiting for his 2nd flight and so many more hours to travel until he’s at his destination . When he arrives at the Base he gets one call to say he arrived . It will be almost midnight when that call comes in. I’ve heard from him through text while in between flights .. so much waiting. He’s doing well for his first time flying on his own . Tired .. letting him go this morning was so hard . Did well not to show too much sadness but he did hug me like three times and did the shake hand hug with his dad several times too which is unusual for him . I know he was a bit nervous but so ready. He stated he was nervous but ready but I just wanted to hold on to him and not let go . My baby boy .. no parent book in the world teaches you how to let them go. When my husband and I were driving back home from dropping him off my cell phone came to life displaying his photo I answered so fast ready to ask him if everything was okay . He called because he had two hrs to wait for his flight and wanted to let us know how long it would take to get to the Base and he was bored . Happy to hear his voice but after getting off the phone it triggered the tears . I already was missing him. Once home hubby and I told our daughter how it went she couldn’t come with us not knowing how long it would take and she had to go to work. Then him and I kept busy around the house ,him outside doing oil changes on snowblower .. generator getting ready for winter even though it couldn’t be anymore humid that we have an air conditioner running. So iI was inside cleaning up around the house finishing some of my sons laundry he has left anything to do to not think how quiet it will be for awhile . And here it’s evening now and catching the nightly news until we settle in bed and watch our shows and wait for a my son to call. . When I know he can settle I will . Yes always a mother. That’s what us parents do. Soon my daughter will be home she is ready to get home eat and watch her shows as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if It crosses her mind to ask where her brother is . She always would when she would get home from somewhere and knowing he was out he was always out she would ask where he was . I know I will think off and on I wonder what he’s up to for the day . I always wondered it . Habits.. well for now I will get comfortable color or try until shows are on.
I honestly believe that love is the hardest part of living , but at the same time best part of living .. yes love can feel so good and make you feel this deep sensation deep down inside to your soul and yet at the same time can be the hardest and saddest most painful feeling you ever experienced . How can one word one feeling be so complicated an the most best or worst thing in your life . Love is such a powerful word .
It;s been a long week and its only Tues, so hate that feeling .. My Son gad a track meet against their rivalry team and someone had to loose unfortunately it was my Son’s team. The team took it really hard , I feel so bad for them. I want to say to him it’s only a game but to them it’s so much more. it’s their life who they are okay they think it is ..I think that there is to much pressures of all kinds. on kids now and I not saying we put to much pressure as parents I am talking about other kids society sports them trying to prove themselves to others , wanting to be in as I quote . If you read my last post I had wrote about the controversy over the new show based on the book 13 Reasons Why on Netflix about teenage suicide. Its such an eye opener I am on episode 9 and I am amazed how I can relate some of the things that I have seen in my kids school its so unreal. Yes I know we where all teenagers once we had good days bad days we had breakups bad friends all that but in this new world of technology I think its out of control what kids can do with it and sadly really push someone to the point of suicide Just by one press of a button on their cell phones,,.we know bullying is out of hand , kids do not care there mind are so wrapped up in material things okay sorry not all but a good amount of kids and this show/book I believe scares people because this is a real fear and people are afraid to see this .I do agree if your child has depression they should not watch this or watch with an adult because it does not in my eye glamorize suicide maybe in a teenagers so watch talk about it . I know one thing keep the communication open with your kids no matter if they push away just keep it open.
A Mom’s job is 24 ours… never alone in her thoughts ,always thinking of their kid’s well being. I would do anything and everything for my two kid’s and I think I do. If you were to ask my Son that would be a no. … well in his opinion, my Daughter would say other wise she seems to have my back . even when us Mother’s are not feeling well…having an off day etc. we do we always do we get up we pull ourselves together and we get things done. yes its crazy but we are moms right??? hmmm tonight I am thinking okay have I done to much am I to easy do I say yes more then the word no? YES!! I think I do and tonight I am finding this out. My teenager can make me want to pull my hair out. but then he says one thing and My paternal instincts kicks back in and I am taking care of every need which I know he is capable of ughhhh I am trying to get tougher this is going to take some time to learn yes and this is with my youngest child. my two kids are like night and day literally My daughter first born was born at night my Son born at day time. Oldest has dark hair youngest blond shall I go on they think the total opposite some people wouldn’t believe their siblings. lol….my Son is so good at testing me. then he breaks me when he does this side smile and tries to make amends and I just want to hug him lol..crazy right? No…just part of being a mom. Has I read back of what I wrote I wonder where I am going with this I guess I just needed to vent. right??? Yes because I am a Mom.