Silence…

It’s a quiet Sunday night darkness is already upon us has been for hours now. I’m wrapped in a blanket cozy upon my couch with a warm cup of coffee in hand. The silence is deafening making the the thoughts in my head a bit noisier . Im trying to embrace this moment but there is too many should of’s going through my thoughts. I know pointless.. or are they? Can we find answers from should of’s or only regrets? I do not like regrets . But my mind does wander there as well . I’m always telling my kids never regret . But then here I am . Oh we can be our own worse enemy at times . Off and on I hear the sound of the heat click on or a distant sound of the train near by .I wonder how many times a train goes by without even knowing until it’s silent then I hear it every time. The sound of it whistle echoing through the cold dark night. It’s silly but I always find it comforting. For a minute it’s sound takes me away from my thoughts. Yes a Moment of peace. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath in then out . And I do it all over again . My thoughts are so close to the surface with every beat of my heart. It’s the thought that touch your heart that are a bit more complicated ..For another day I think I will visit those thoughts for now I will just sip on my coffee feel its warmth and listen for another train to roll on by.

Heart …

The heart is a powerful force of emotions. It does not know what is right or wrong . Even though the saying goes follow your heart. And yes we do follow it so what is right what is wrong. All we have is the intense feeling of this feeling that keeps us up at night . Or the feeling like no other the one that makes you feel alive you want to cry. Oh the heart the power of it . Do we dare to follow , do we dare not to…

Fading…

I see you in my dreams I see your deep blue eyes staring at me through this dream they pull me to you you a connection binding us as one That I feel you in my soul , my heart feels you with every beat it takes . My body feels your energy all around me . I feel your strength and it makes me feel stronger. I long for your touch but when I reach for you ..your deep blue eyes fade they get farther and farther away .. no don’t go way , come back … I need you . Please do not let this connection break . Please come back… I wake and your gone.. as dreams fades but I know your real. You have to be real..

Beautiful Day!

Aww the sun has been shining since I woke this morning so nice. Today was a different start usually it’s my daughter and I enjoying our morning coffee and a nice chat . Today it was spent with my son . It was a nice moment with him . I do not get many moments like this with just him and I , so with every minute I could grab I took it.I’m so amazed what a man he is growing into. He is so active and outgoing and such a jokester around his friends but then there’s this side to him a sense of protectiveness and loyalty that is so calming ,warm that shows his big heart only the lucky few get to see . I’m happy I’m one of those lucky few . I know when he gets home after school and practice is tired side will show then that’s the side we all know to well to let him be ..feed him and let him shower and go to bed . I’m just happy I had the moments I did with him this morning because I know there few and far between❤️

Groundhog Day

Yes today is Groundhog Day and as cute as this little guy is he bares bad news …. 6 more weeks of winter he saw his shadow. Ok in my part of the globe that would been amazing if he hadn’t so I guess I can’t blame him . So now he is back in his little hole his happy place nice and cozy and I’m back in my little happy place keeping cozy and warm even though the sun is shining and beautiful and bright it’s so cold today ,the wind is raging havoc and it’s always when I’m home for the day and evening with Miss Abigail that this happens and the house makes creaking and banging noises I know it’s only the wind whipping against the house but it’s still creepy. Any how now that winter has a ways to go I will keep busy reading adult coloring and keeping my son on track to get through the next 3more months of high school until he graduates .

Tonight he has his last meet for indoor track then it’s on to championships which he qualified for we couldn’t be more proud. My hubby will be at his meet tonight too much for my hip which I stated in my last posts but my heart is with him and he knows that . It’s an earlier one 3:45 to 6 instead of 6:45 to 9 :00 so hopefully he will be home earlier he should be unless his friends push to get together which as a mom I suggested it would be nice if he came home after it to get some decent sleep since he has not been sleeping to well and he has to get up for work in the morning . .. I waited for the eyes to roll but surprised they didn’t he kind of agreed . Will see. I know he is tired so this meet will either make him exhausted or give him an Adrenalin rush and he will want to stay out for a bit. Well my daytime soap is over and time to finish up a few things around the house no supper prep it’s a make whatever you want tonight when everyone gets home. Have a great day everyone.

My Son!!

When I look at you I see a young man standing before me so strong and ready to conquer the world , but  then when I look in those  blue eyes I see that little boy that could melt my heart with just a tug on my leg looking up at  me to pick him  up and hold him and that smile you gave when I did just broke me I just never wanted to let you go , but I need to it’s time  now , your grown and you are letting go you crave for that freedom to be you … all the dreams you hold in  your heart there ready to explore. I must and I will let go but in my eyes you will always be that littlle boy  with the big smile looking up at me I will hold  that memory close to my heart forever.

Photo Monday !

Hi Everyone ! Hope your having a nice Monday  a little later in the day of posting for my Monday Photo but here it is and your probably thinking what is that,( hahaha) well it was a quick take as My son was heading out to practice. Thier running shoes . My runner is back! and happy to say that. If you had read my past post my son who is a avid runner he does cross country in the Fall and track and field and indoor track for his Highschool and I had stated that the numbers where very low for cross country as well as other sports our school is having a shortage of kids sadly ..and he didn’t think they would have a team well they do he is the only Senior out of 3seventh graders and a junior well him and his junior buddy will be the one getting the points for the team they may not win but possible but it’s just a lot of training when the younger ones are not into it as much … so he tried football and I’m happy he didn’t like it ,it didn’t feel right even though he has done youth football . Running is just his passion he holds it dear to his heart and decided win or no win he would do his last year . Happy my son finishes what he starts  yes he sways but in the end he lets his heart tell him what to do and I think he made a good decision . If he got injured which you do in any sport and seriously injured he would not have this passion for running when he is done with school . Running is a great release for him from stress life’s pressures and his amount of energy he has. So running it is!