Anxiety…

Hmmm.. being a mom is such an amazing most beautiful feeling .That first moment whether it’s your 1st 2nd etc amount of children you have that special moment holding them in your arms and them looking up at you is like no other feeling you will ever know and you want to hold on to them and never ever let them go . You will protect them with all your might. There is nothing you wouldn’t do to keep them from hurting or succeeding in life…..but then the teenage yrs come and they turn into a person you know is your child but this attitude this whole new person standing in front of you is not that little girl or boy you held in your arms not that long ago okay well yes very long ago. Many moons ago but to a mom the time is irrelevant You know that little child is in that grown body some where now telling you their fine they got this let me be . Oh but those are words you thought you would never hear or would of taken a little bit longer to get here then it did. Why does time have to fly by so fast .

My mind keeps counting how many months to graduation and my anxiety grows.. every college application every moment waiting for that email or letter in the mail and seeing if they get in or the disappointment on their face when one college has gotten back to them and it’s a not at this time . So you watch them wait for the next . Oh and as the wait goes on you think how one step closer they will be-to starting this journey of life . As a parent a mom that journey also consists of change for us as well … figuring out what we do now when all you really have done has been a stay at home mom ,one because it worked and two because of my disability . ..But still what to do ? So my anxiety is up and flaring and I’m trying to change some things now so it won’t be so hard when he is off. Oh believe me he’s helping this hahaha my son and daughter are not home much my daughter the oldest is here more she has a place downstairs and a steady job and saving up and paying her car off so she is comfortable at the moment with her kitty living here with her . My son the youngest is ready to run . They are so opposite and it’s coming to light so much more now that their older … anyways my son is helping this change he’s usually at practice the gym with friends ,working or hiding out in his room that part is nice πŸ™‚ I must say I’m happy I have this blog it keeps me busy and something to look forward too plus I love my adult coloring and I’m reading more once again . Soon I can spend some time out with my friends and not worry about all the ice and snow . The days are getting longer. As I hope my spouts of anxiety get shorter πŸ™‚

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