Hope Chest….

I decided since not much going on this weekend in between bringing my Son to dances and friends I would once again make myself try once again to
tackle a project I kept putting off. My Hope chest or cedar blanket chest actually I really do not know if they sell them anymore. I believe I was 20 yrs old when my husband at the time boyfriend bought it for me. over the years it has over flowed with things that I felt the need  through the years to hold on too, we all
know we really do not need to hold on to half of the things we do but it’s human nature, everything just seems special, I was going through it and I found this bag always amazes me what I find, in it was two pacifiers
one pink one and one white one with blue on it, my heart melt at that moment. Time has away of catching you off guard and showing us how fast life can pass by I looked at them thinking back how my daughter couldn’t live without hers and my son could take it or leave it ,I know only pacifier’s but they hold so many memories to me . these little objects just seemed to define me as a Mommy and now I am Mom …Mother.
just such a different roll ,I know that this is all normal every mother goes through this. just seems to happen so fast I thought when my Daughter was little and was always needing me in eye view and would cry if I wasn’t and she would fall and bump her knee or head because she was so unsteady on her feet when she started walking was so hard to watch or my Son being colicky and the sleepless nights were so unbearable at times, is nothing in compare to them now grownup and worrying when they will be home or if my daughter has a  bad day at work and something is not fair I can’t fix it for her because now she is an adult and that is her job I can just only  be by for quiet talks to help her feel better and my Son who things he has all the answers I just have to let him find out the answers whether good or bad and just guide him. now I look back and sometimes I miss those days when they where little I felt more in control.  I have always been good at taking care of things and now that seem to be less and less these days so now I see why more then ever why I started this blog…..  I am learning to and have time to do what I like to do and that is write read more  socialize more and learn to step back  little and say stop let them figure things out for themselves and watch my husband look at me with those eyes of I know you have something to say and laugh when I keep my mouth shut hahahaha…he understands he is just so different then me .I just love taking care of them, not doing this as much feels like a part of myself is missing. It’s not like we can go back to that person we were before our kid’s because we have grown in so many different  ways  and directions that we are not in  the same place anymore. which isn’t a bad thing just a change you learn to or need to except.binkiesforblog