I sit here thinking . Yes always thinking. The thoughts that run through my head are a bit different today then other days. I’m thinking about who I am . Me as a whole body and mind. And yes my faults well I call them that because I’m not perfect . Oh wait … what ? I’m not perfect? I’m not 6ft tall long legs young beautiful blond blue eyes . No! I am 4″11 slim but not long legs . I am not youthful . Hmm well that’s just so wrong. Do you see I’m 4″11 yes a child like size but good things come in small packages. So they say. , straight hair on some days and wild curly hair on other days yes it is what it is. I have dark hair as the night when not in the sun and brunette when I am. But I am me ! I smile everyday no matter what . And I laugh every chance I get . I love my coffee it’s my poison. Some say I drink too much I say it’s never enough. I love to have long conversations deep , silly or just random ones. I love to listen to people about their thoughts. It intrigues me. I do not like fake . I only do real so if your real and you respect me we will get along just fine. Now you ask why and if you are not asking why I’m telling you all this I’ll tell you anyways.
I do not like how people judge others to a point that you begin to question yourself . No one has that righties power over you to do that . Yes it’s hard not to let them . I know this as been going on for decades but today it’s getting to be too much. So many people are being judged for just being them. To me this is rude and so wrong . Our words can hurt people so deeply . And no as they say ” you can not take them back . Those harsh words judgements get imbedded in peoples souls especially the sensitive caring and loving ones . And can do so much damage . Thank you for them that they still exist. .. but if we keep doing what we are doing and judging people pointing out there imperfections well your idea of that they will not exist much longer. This world will just get more populated with unkind unhappy people yes unhappy . If you can hurt someone in this way then your not happy with yourself . Well to me that is sad. I wouldn’t want to be that person . So let’s think about it the next time we pick on someone. If their not hurting anyone leave them alone . But just stop hurting people. Life is too short. And precious we are all who we are . If we where all the same I believe it would be a very boring unhappy world.
The last 4days have been an eye opener what you felt was important really isn’t well let me rephrase that it’s important but it’s not the end of the world . Just a little curve in the road that lets you see things in a different light. If you read my last posts you will have learned we lost a 17 year old who was part of our community in a horrible automobile accident we went to part of the service and it was all so heartbreaking and unreal Life sometimes can throw us a cruel joke . The loss of this young man will be a forever one. Through these last 4days my son has limped through them been off and on crutches since our Thanksgiving Football game ,he went to the ER but was still bothering him has he got ready for school so off to his Dr. we went results no indoor Track until he can get into a specialist my son is taking this at the moment not has bad as I thought he would be being that Track started today. Sadly he cannot get in for 2weeks their so booked . So we wait and he sits or helps the coach until then … I think he may take this a bit hard when it sinks in that he isn’t running .In the past I would of been devastated and feel bad for him …well I do feel bad for him but he new making the choice to play football he could get injured so life lesson we live with our choice . I am just feeling this has a little bump in the road and it’s not the worst thing in life I have seen that 😥. he will get through this and I will be calm and supportive but I will not let this be I told you so moment which I know will happen . We all live and make choices that we live with and some are good and some are bad but no one as a right to judge . Life isn’t always a easy ride and he will learn from this that he and no one is invincible from life’s curve balls no matter what situation arrives. Life is so incredibly beautiful but sometimes so hard.😥
It’s a new day and a new President elected and new laws that have passed that I am not to happy about. I know some of us are happy and some of us are not happy who is our new President but protesting doing it violently is not the answer. I am sorry for that but life will go on and hopefully we can find some hope that things will change for the good. I do not like to talk about politics because to me it’s just a subject not all will ever agree on. I wish we could of voted for more good more peace more morals and especially more love the hate in this world is just unbelievable I never seen it this bad and it’s so scary. we need to stand together and get stronger and love more to get through this world how can we raise strong happy loving kids if all we show them is the negative’s I just do not believe we can …..I know I am going to try to keep showing my kids that there is good in this world still we just need to try harder and I know there are other ways to deal with things we do not agree on by using hate. I hope everyone gets some sleep tonight I know I am hoping to .. a very late and long night.it was.
Okay so I was doing something I despise more then anything , Grocery shopping. I am at my local grocery store and I have my list , my cell for calculating so I can stay on my budget that doesn’t always go as planned, at least I try …right? so I am going isle to isle with my list and someone walks by I scoot out of their way and smile well that was a mistake they just glare at me like what are you so happy about …..okay so I take a deep breath and proceed on . oh my as I am shopping their was this guy must of been in his late 50’s or more shopping with his older mother and the poor guy seemed like he was being lead on an invisible leash, well sadly every isle I took they seem to be in it so I said Oh my gosh I just can’t seem stay out of your way now at the time his mother is down the isle a ways and I was just trying to be nice he just stares at me she comes walking up as fast as she could looks at me with dirty look and asks him did you find what we needed he answered after that I felt like a fool for tying to joke with him so I just decided to be quiet..I was just trying to shake it up a little with this chore I dislike, then as I am about done with my list my favorite song plays over their radio my daughter if she was with me would of walked away from me hahaha at the age of 5 she could see this song by heart always o played it in my car. It was from Celine Dion the Titanic theme song My heart will go on….now if you know me then you would know I have to sing it when it plays so I was like oh no hahaha so I was in one of the isles by myself at first so I was singing it quietly to myself and grabbing what I needed well this women is in front of me looks at me and I just stopped singing and I explained I was singing the song so she wouldn’t assume I was talking to myself well does anyone just laugh or just smile and say something nice like oh it’s fine ??? oh know she just looked at me like I had lost my mind. Oh my I was just trying to make the best of doing something I despise ..does anyone have a sense of humor or can just be decent ? no I guess not I guess we are just suppose to walk around either like a zombie or have a crabby face planted on our faces I know …sounds like I am judging but I am just trying to state a fact ..I do not know why that person may have that face but everyone doing that hmmm do not know.my Son does say why do you always have a smile on your face well I wouldn’t say always but for the most part I try and why not. whats the point of living if you can’t be happy. I think it’s sad I know some people may be going through something buy everyone I run into.. I guess that could be my luck.
Finally back on here..after a week of total chaos and hopefully now some normalcy . In the past 5months I have felt this sense of peacefulness contentment. I finally threw caution to the wind and said I need to let go of trying to be a perfect mother and let them grow with guidence ..my Son is independent loves being with his friends playing his sport and he knows his priorities and when he sways from that path I pull him in and my Daughter she is an adult and her and I are in a good place she has here friends making new ones and her work . My husband and I are learning to be just us again before kids and I think I am handling it better then him. he is so use to us all constantly together or around lets say he hates change so the kids doing their own thing and I more into things I enjoy doing again is throwing him …I thought it would be harder for me but I am more open minded and I do not have parents telling me like he has how things should be …ughh and after my last blog if you read he got hurt at work thank god he is fine and doing a lot better and back to work . His parents thinking I am not doing enough getting back in our business my aurora of my peacefulness has vanished and been place with self doubt angry and I thought I got past this years ago. So now I am trying to get back to this peacefulness and contentment and not listening to them ….not very easy . It’s hard when people judge you just because you do not follow their ways or agree. I am thankful for this week being back to normal my daughter and I went out to a nice relaxing lunch at our favorite place, Panera Bread the best . and then we enjoyed a s’mores frappuccino from Starbucks so delicious we figured we had a light lunch we would enjoy this. Then we headed to my son ‘s school to watch his meet such a nice ending to the day. oh and yes they won! my son came in 2nd place in the hurdles and 2nd in 2nd race. So proud of him.
Good Morning!!! a quiet morning my husband and daughter and son off to work and school so enjoying my cup off coffee and watching my pup and daughters cat running around the house playing together so maybe it’s not a quiet morning:) such happy little things.so my daughter was talking with me before she left this morning telling me how the winds yesterday had brought down a tree into the road by our driveway big enough to be a nuisance for drivers so she went on telling me how two trucks pulled over to the side of the road with their flashers on and two men proceeded to pull the tree out of the way , what amazed me what she said next …”It was so nice seeing two people work together I worried bit with passersby I hope they see them it’s nice to see there are still some nice people in this world” I was so astonished by her statement… its so nice seeing people work together ….its nice to see there is still nice people in this world. It’s sad when something that should be such a normal gesture is a shocker to our young generation it just shows us how bad is over doing the good …we see more bad behavior then good and our kids see this as well I am happy mine still see the good.. I had worried that they didn’t . My 15 yr old shocked me as well because it has not been a good month at school … and a student/friend of his will be changing schools because of an incident that should of never been possible but the student/friend has not had it easy there as been judgement and just wrong behavior but my Son told me how they talked and he felt bad and told this person he understood of the school transfer I was so happy to hear how kind he was ,now once again I shouldn’t be surprised but peer pressure is at a very high level right now . I wish we could take notes on how some of this generation still believes in being a good human beings ….naturally, shouldn’t it not be a a second thought to have good judgement??? I guess not… I am not trying to preach just stating my happiness that yes there are still good people and I hope for more and I am happy my kid’s have that.
Does anyone ever just wonder why we just can’t live just the way we are…happy just being happy. do not get me wrong goals of success are great but not everyone feels this way ,some just want to live simple just be … find a decent job that supports their means and just do what you enjoy whether that is snowboarding in the Colorado’s ,biking across the state just enjoying life and nature or the girl who loves her job at a flower shop and is so good at making people smile when they ask for advice on flowers and they love it or the wife who just wants to stay home with their child and be a mother and their husband is fine with it.simpleness without judgement is that possible ? maybe for the strong who can handle the judgement of your not living up to your potential .. maybe ? but your happy this is what you want . I know how people want to climb that ladder of success but at the top of that ladder is not for everyone and we should not judge . I just had to get this thought out for those who just want to just simply live.