It’s been raining sense we all woke this morning. The house was so dark . The rain pouring down so hard it vibrated on the roof and the air conditioner . Dragging myself out of bed to the coffee pot showering the night before because I had heard there was storms coming in . I grabbed my cup of coffee setting out two more mugs for my kids when they woke. Ahh even when it’s humid out coffee still taste good. The air conditioners in the bedroom helped to keep it cool in the rest of the house since it’s raining , when the sun comes back out they won’t, luckily our air conditioner I ordered for our living room and kitchen area came in . My son is off picking it up and running some errands he had . When he gets home will put the air conditioner in.
The day has been a mixture of down pours and moments of sun peaking out a good recipe for thunderstorms later this evening. As you see Miss Abigail is looking happy….. NOT (hahaha) she doesn’t like rainy days. Did a few things around the house , took it slow. Watching one of my shows for a bit before I get dinner going. I’m thing spaghetti and meatballs sounds good. I guess I should get it started before I watch another episode of one of my childhood shows that just fills me with comfort and the beautiful days of the past . Okay that’s for another time and post . 🙂
It’s the first day of summer. I woke refresh after the night before not getting much sleep . Took a quick shower then enjoyed my coffee while talking with my son .. well I was talking he was busy on his new laptop he purchased for college in the Fall. A bit later my daughter and I headed out grabbed some coffee her first my second of the morning. Then checked out prices on tires for my car and a stop at the appliance store to purchase an air conditioner for our living room . We have them in the bedrooms but the living room and kitchen gets unbearable so bought a small one that should do the job. Paid some bills and headed home. Cleaned up the house as I heard my son leave on his motorcycle and my daughter with her boyfriend , I turned up the stereo and got lost in the music as I cleaned .. thankfully no one was home as I love to sing 🙂 the humidity cleared and the night is cool so I made chocolate chip cookie bars as my hubby enjoys the baseball game.
Now let me just say this was a different first day of summer for me. In the past it would start off with my kids begging to get to the community pool so making up sandwiches to bring and a lot of water . Pile towels into the car and off we go take in the sun the friends until it was time to call it a day and get home to cookout for dinner and a movie together till bed. Aww how I miss those days. Weekend nights at the drive-ins , ice cream rides, still have bonfires even as time went by it would be the start of kids driving .. so the door to our house opening and shutting …well more like slamming more then I can count . Kids friends hanging out outside or in their room music echoing from my sons bedroom walls And sound of giggling girls from my daughters room . To quietness of them falling to sleep or leaving. Then last year it changed it became a bit quieter my youngest graduating from high school as yrs before my daughter. My daughter with her boyfriend on days off from work or with friends . My son with friends .. and hubby and I having more bonfires with the rest of our family members .Saturday suppers out to different eatery’s , daytime car rides the two of us , occasional outings for a coffee run with my daughter all the things that become the new or I should say start of the next journey of life after kids . My son enlisting in The Army National Guard so that meant he had to be on his best behavior doing training at nearby base until heading to Missouri in the Fall. Less running here and there and everywhere .
This first day of summer as you see is no different then last summer a bit more quieter my son working until 10 then going out with friends will be asleep by the time him and my daughter arrive home. Now just the baseball game and the smell of fresh baked cookies. For my hubby and I . Miss Abigail having a treat of being with hubby and I tonight roaming to one window to the next looking out to the dark summer night . . Did capture this guy as it was getting dark heading off to settle for the night . Now going to read my book until I fall asleep . Happy First day of summer everyone 🙂
So tonight my hubby and I are searching through the TV channels for something to watch ..we come upon the movie The Nun. I knew I should of listen to my hubby when he said your not going to like this it’s a horror movie . I kind of new this , my son had told me about it and I knew it was just wrong in general to watch . Being religious and this movie was just so wrong in many ways . Sadly my curiosity got the best of me and it was half way In to the movie and okay let’s just say I have scared myself several times tonight . Just awful this movie was and I regret watching what little I did. I wonder why things are they are in so many sad ways . My hubby turned it. But not soon enough. I guess that will teach me.
I went outside onto the deck to take in the fresh night air and to focus on something peaceful .I went to look up at the stars and well I striked out again . The clouds have moved in no stars …But I took in the stillness of our darken woods. The sound of the peepers out past the swamp. Occasionally the distant sound of a dog barking. Peaceful it was . At one moment I thought maybe I saw something run across the yard .. maybe a fox or my mind once again playing tricks on me. Yes still regretting .. 🙄 the other night as I laid in bed I could hear the train and it’s whistle from the nearby train tracks but not tonight . Well not yet at least. I let you listen . It’s beautiful.
Outside my door the winds have calmed the storms have passed ..for now. Settled in last night with my new book . After about 45 mins later I put my book down and shut the light off. It wasn’t that the book wasn’t good it was . I just wanted to lay there in the darkness and watch the flash of the lighting and hear the roll of the thunder . Love nighttime storms. As the storm came through flashing shadows on my wall I laid there taking it in thinking about the Memorial Day weekend approaching .. like everything things change. I know a part of life. Even if I wanted time to to stop it would not ..even for a moment . Even laying there watching the storm was different… my daughter at some friends house . My son tired from work in bed as well as my hubby just I watching it .No kids running into the bedroom or sitting in our living room watching counting between the lightening flashes. Just I … As this Memorial Day approaches this will not be the same as well. Yes they’ll be a cookout ,bonfire on one of the days but less around the fire. but our hearts with them . No friends sleeping over , no sleeping out in a tent and being waken by kids running in as fast as they can to sleep on the living room floor because they heard something in the woods. No movie nights with buckets of popcorn and wide eyed kids as they watched .No just my hubby and I watching a movie , or sitting and watching the stars , taking a ride . As our door swings open and close as my kids come and go from work. I will embrace this change and then the next one and the next one. But for now I will embrace this moment . with a smile on my face and also a tear in my eye.
The weekend was beautiful despite the rain. This week though even with the sun finally showing itself I just feel this dread or something .. I cannot place this feeling it’s nothing to do with a lack of energy ..oh that I have a lot of .I do know I put myself back in that mom take care mode .. okay you are probably thinking what is so wrong with that ? Well a lot is wrong with that. I’m back in my mode and I promised myself when my son came home after Basic and being away for 6 months I would get on my own routine . And when my son got on that plane that first day . I was good had to be this is what he wanted ..my hubby and I hugged him and let him go and then hubby and I headed home with a coffee stop . And a phone call from him asking if we were home since he had a 2hour wait till his flight I knew he was missing us already being his first time away all to be expected. When we arrived home I cleaned up the house . Room by room not my sons he had cleaned his before he had left. So I just paused at his bedroom door . Then made myself move along. Supper came and my daughter at work then boyfriends … hubby and I ate just it just being the two of us . Well over the 6 months with a 10 day Holiday pass for Christmas he was home . It felt great but so strange I was in a whole new routine . And so him and I clashed a bit … sadly . I was told this was normal. Then the time came and he had to go back. By March I was ready to have him home. And this time it was better we were at an adult son and his mother relationship We talked on a new level . My time ..my routine was still there and he had his routine. Then here we are in May and I’m finding myself out of my routine .. well more then I want to be . I’m worrying if he’s ate what he’s doing . He has been very good about it when before he did not like it. All the mothering believe me I can get over bearing🙄Yes he has had his moments and has told me in a nice way to stop but then sadly apologizes when honestly I do not want him to. I know this summer is going to be a long one. Right now he is working two jobs and he is gone a lot . So I’m trying to get back into the routine of just my hubby and I . In the Fall along with National Guard drills and going away to college it will be my hubby and I and my daughter again when she is here. and I think it will be hard to let go of him this time. He will not be far away it’s for a matter of convenience for him to dorm with our bad winters . And now with all the things happening in this world and him In the Army National Guards has added this worry more then when he signed up . And I can’t say much about this but I do not know if I’m coming off a vibe he is giving out since I’m so good at both my kids vibes of something there worrying about or doing tends to bounce off of them on to me . Always been this way. So could this be it? I’m feeling his worry. Yes he knows what he as signed up for but being 18 there is concern I’m sure with him. He is such a thinker like me . And his humbleness is been a bit more apparent. Which makes me feel anxious…Even though I feel this way I would never change it for the world . Being a mother is just so hard sometimes because the love you feel and there is nothing you will not want to do for your kids . This Fb quiz actually says it. well except for the cowering in your presence well unless you hurt my kids🙂
I made a book list and ordered a book that is on its way that I’m very excited about and I’m looking forward to it . Which it’s been a bit since I was excited about a book since not been able to find a good one and I’m going to keep ordering hoping for more good book to occupy my mind at night , especially when I’m thinking or when he is out late both my kids with that. So my mind doesn’t wander. When I get my book I’ll post it . For now yes finishing the Road. Yes it’s dragging .. but according to my daughter she is shocked that I’m in the last two chapters of it, being that it’s not usually something I would read or even think of finishing. 🙂 well it’s getting late need to try to get some sleep so off I am to bed. Hoping to hear that train and its whistle in a distance I’m so comforted to while saying my nightly prayers falling asleep .
After a day spent with my daughter in Town getting things she needed , I needed , so in and out of the car wandering stores . Passing by people , rushing to get out of peoples way🙄 we got back to the car and headed home . We talked about how busy it was in the store and how rushed we felt when really we were not rushing .. we were taking our time looking at items , grabbing things . BUT it was the people around us . With the looks , the rude your in my way tone in their voice when they said excuse me and we were not even in their way just near them. Or I’m sorry if I wasn’t fast pace walking with the carriage because I can’t . But keeping aware of people around to move out of their way when I needed to. Then I hear a sigh of frustration whoops one minute I didn’t realize a person behind me I moved out of the way even though the isle was big enough for the both of us . I said oh I’m sorry and the person just looked at me and walked by . Yes I do not know what kind of day this person may or maybe having . But it’s just becoming more and more like this. Right then I knew I was done. Once in the car I told my daughter . She said yes she had noticed and knows how people are .she works in retail and sees it everyday . Well this wasn’t the main topic of this post but it’s just all part of what things have become . Here is the part that I thought was appalling.
I’m home now and my hubby and I are watching the nightly news and one of the headlines was handshaking . I guess handshaking could become the thing of the past before we know it. I believe amount of people are now wanting to ban this gesture. It’s not sanitary .. okay I get this to a point but to have a ban on it .. human touch is something that makes this world seem bearable . A shake of a hand can show respect . Acknowledgment , or I’m sorry , it’s the emotion in the strength of it. Yes if you can’t shake then politely refrain from it but to ban this or even the thought to question banning this is so sad. Sometimes it’s saddens me what and how we have become . Well for the most part , not all.. I’m saying just in general. It’s a scary thought what new life being brought into this world will be brought up with . It’s a thought I find myself thinking about more often. And knowing I will not be that person .