Never Judge…

I was with my son the day before he had somethings to do and asked if I would like to take a ride with him, of course I said yes .. these moments are few far and in between. As he was driving we came to a red light and sitting on the island next to it was a man eating a sandwich and a piece of card board leaning on his folded legs with the words written on it “anything helps”..homeless . We didn’t stare but he was noticeable I stated he’s talking to himself I meant nothing mean but felt sadness and lonely for him my son looks at me and says yeah I can see that but don’t we all talk to ourself at times ? I said yeah I call that thinking out loud he said yes then said Im just saying we shouldn’t judge .. I told him oh no I wasn’t just he’s lonely I wish we were a bit closer I would have given him some money . But it wasn’t safe to do so where we sat at the light. My son said we do not know what he has been through never judge . I must say I was proud of his statement ,then just sticking his nose up and ignoring him . Which I know my son is not a snob. But the statement made me realize what a mature man he is growing into and how he his sympathetic to those in need. ❤️

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Chances ..over and over….

Sadly the night never cooled down so the air conditioners are humming away .. not that it matters other have is on such a crazy work schedule that there is no time to sit out and enjoy the night on the deck…. my daughter is settling as well .. and well my son has his ex girlfriend over so I’m in the bedroom out of sight … yes I said ex girlfriend.. let’s see their just friends hmmm … who love to spend as much time together as they can in which case it’s at 10:30 at night until 1:00 in the morning because there day is busy. Let’s see they have done this on an off pattern for four yrs.

she will be leaving at the end of August to go to Ireland for a yr of college and stay with her Grandparents . Her mom is originally from Ireland . She moved here with here husband when he was stationed in There in the Army . There’s one connection my son has with her he is in the Army ,,well Army National Guard and college unless that changes to a career in the Army. her father is still in theArmy . So I believe she likes army men and my son as always been Army material .. but then you see my son is leaving in Oct till March for Basic Training so their paths will split in different directions …now if their paths meet again after a yr I will say this relationship or whatever it is will be forever .. or have a better chance of lasting or sadly they do this on and off thing all over again or not . To be young… to feel that flame that passion. To be carefree is amazing ..yes I’m happily married but things change the flame is still there it just burns as an amber then a flame because it’s covered by life’s changes .. time .. family responsibilities . And it’s more comfortable .. It’s not as care free and yes over time we change . that first moment when you first meet your first love . It’s fresh and Come on we all have that first love that can seem to pop in our heads or online lol .. for a innocent catch up how’s it going now and then but it’s what it is because yes your online with them that’s it or there just a memory.. it’s just hard to watch when you see your own child living those memories that are locked away and you hope that it turns out better then it did for you . .. and their spared the heartbreak and your son or daughter Marry’s them so I sit back and I watch and I hope my son walks away stronger from this or it actually becomes something now that their out of high school . I know it’s not for me to say . Sometimes life should of came with a handbook (hahaha) I know not that easy sadly … and I am stuck in my bedroom to give them privacy .. and I must say it’s freezing in here with the air on and the door closed . I guess I will get some sleep fireworks tomorrow nigh then hopefully sit on our deck and then Saturday nieces birthday so day and part of the night spent at my sisters with good conversations drinks and laughter as always .

Rainy Start..

Good Morning , a late one at that I woke up to the sound of rain hitting against the window . I dragged myself to the shower and then out to the kitchen not wanting to look towards the sink…. knowing my son left his after workout meal dishes….. so I focus my attention on the coffee pot and went to lookout the window to see that for a moment the rain stopped and it brightened up a bit that’s when I saw that my beautiful visitors were back , the two Doe”s they were running around in our front yard in a playful kind of way . Happy I was up later or I would have missed them walking around doing some house work.

The rain is back I’m guessing it will be that kind of day.. any ways my late morning was due to chatting until sometime after midnight with a friend on line . As we are messaging back and forth I had to hold my laughter back to not wake my hubby so thats was a bit hard . It was a fun chat so waking late was worth it. Now it is time to get this day started my coffee is finished .

Doings..

Hi everyone .. I know I haven’t been posting as much . Just haven’t had any interesting things to post about this week . Been busy with family obligations and the weekend has flew by . Was up at 6 this morning to attend my husbands Grandmothers funeral . In her 90″s she lived a long good life. So it was a long day. I decided after being at the gathering for the food part for a bit to leave with my daughter who needed to get laundry done so she would have work clothes . My hubby and son stayed a bit longer.

As my daughter was doing her laundry we watched some episodes of a show we watch on Netflix’s . Then around 7 tonight. We turned to regular tv . My daughter was randomly flicking through the channels came across a movie that had just started .. ok a bit strange but do you ever just get caught up sitting there and know this movie maybe lame hahaha but you just keep watching ? Well next thing we know the movie has ended and it’s been 2hrs that have instantly gone by. Her and I just looked at each other and just laughed ..yes we laughed my hubby came out of the bedroom and heard us laughing and shaking his head in good humor . and Said well for such a lame movie you watched the whole thing. . Call it brain fog hahaha. . That was my evening. Now everyone’s settled in both kids work tomorrow as well as hubby and we are all tired from this day , I guess it’s time to get some sleep as well Goodnight 🙂

Just Being

Hi everyone ! I haven’t been posting this past week much.. I guess I’ve been Just being as my title states… I looked up what just being is , if any and was surprised how many ways, things there was with this phrase just being. I related with some of the examples . I believe for me it’s just been being free from a routine being able to just getting up showering having my coffee and taking my time enjoying it maybe enjoying a second cup . Taking care of things around the house whether I finish doing what are started or not … but yes I finish what I start, just the fact that I have no time limit .. my routine is changing my time is becoming more my time during the day . Very relaxing and less stressed . My kids come and go we have our moments of chats , laughing. But all good . Nice feeling. So I been also enjoying reading a lot of reading out on the deck enjoying sun as well . I also have been able to take my photos off my phone printing them and started working on my photo wall. Plus changing things up around the house .. I believe this just being has been very productive for me ( hahaha) the busyness and the have to of this school yr has come to an end and I’m seeing that it’s okay.. now ask me in October when my son leaves for Basic Training .. yes getting ahead of myself so stepping back to now and only day to to day.🙂 This weekend is a rainy one so hubby and I did the food shopping and have been just hanging around the house watching movies in between the washer humming . Now it’s evening and supper is done and cleaned up with the help of my hubby my sons home now so he is watching tv with us . I think I will grab my book settle in an a bit more and read my book as well . and just be ….🙂

Settling .. thinking stop thinking, ..

Today time seemed to move in slow motion. I went around cleaning up things around the house ,dusting, the usual .Figuring what to make for supper . .. knowing I had time because my hubby had texted to say he was working late. I watched my day time soap and then as I was waiting for the washing machine to finish I sat outside on my swing closing my eyes trying to stop thinking .. reflecting back to what my daughter had told me earlier in the day.. ( read my post before this) couldn’t imagine how that family was coping with this loss … I looked up at the blue sky and thought how beautiful it was and the same word echoed in my mind…..why? Does God know why ? Does he understand ?

I worry about this I must admit because I have a daughter that suffers from such anxiety since high school she is doing much better now , has her moments but gets through . She is so sensitive which I believe is what makes me so nervous .. I know when she hears about suicide it breaks her heart . She has such a big heart . After sitting outside for a bit I knew it was not doing me any good because I just sat there swinging back and forth which usually I love but I was thinking thinking to much . I got up and made myself busy until finally the washing machine was done.. About 2hrs later my daughter walked into the house alone I looked around for her boyfriend she was with earlier … no where to be found . She stated he would be here soon was with his family getting a car from them and I just wanted to come home and wait for him . I didn’t push , I watched as she went down to her place and came back with her book in hand and settled on the couch as she asked what I was doing … I stated not much sat in the living room with her with my book . I knew she was needing some quiet time but also wanted to talk but not , always when she grabs a book. she then said said I think everyone is at the beach I was like what ? she said on Facebook everyone for the most part is saying their at the beach ..going to the beach …you will see this all summer posted on there . I told her yeah I’m sure. Do you want to be ? she said no not at all just wonder why it has to be plastered all over Facebook . I thought to myself that’s what happens on there . People need to state where they are . I rolled my eyes to myself . I just replied well then stay off Facebook . Take a break from it. She sighed .

Sometimes I believe life is only exciting for some if they state all their where about’s and play how happy they are to the world … but are they? . Or just need to brag or just like to state where they are . I do understand my daughters point. I grew up without it and I think life was easier . We lived our life’s did what we wanted and no one had to really know. I think that’s why getting back into reading again and doing projects . Plus waiting for my journal I want to start and so believe it’s a perfect time .not going to say anymore until I receive it. I believe will be a great blessing. 🙂 Tonight I settled in and watched my hubby and i’s favorite summer show . America’s got Talent. Now he is snoring away and I was trying to read but my eyes started to get heavy . My son is settled in for the night my daughters with her boyfriend so I think I will say my prayers and get some sleep .. hopefully I can finish saying them before I find myself falling asleep., yes my prayers are long.. ❤️

Life..

It’s morning the sun is shining the skies are a crystal blue ,it’s a bit less humid. I sit and drink my coffee with a heavy heart .. my daughter had told me about a young man who was a classmate of a friend of hers from work , her friend heard I believe over the weekend that his classmate had taken his life .. 22yrs old .. it’s just so heartbreaking .. too many are taking their life. I do not know of the details if he suffered from depression I just know when I look at his obituary picture there’s this young man in his Army photo and he his smiling like he’s on top of the world . It states his accomplishments track star in high school class president i t states that he was very smart he made lieutenant and I believe graduated from college . I believe it states what activities he enjoyed . ,,, But what my daughter pointed out it doesn’t state how he was loved by his friends or that he did anything with friends or how he will be missed by his friends yes it states that he will be missed by his family . Hmm I don’t know .. but what jumps out at me is it seemed he was alone … yes I know Army , college, great athlete career , but still no matter what you succeed this world can be lonely.. it’s hard to imagine why .. but when it’s happens and it’s seems more often these days the answer is why? Sadly we do not know everything that goes on in someone’s head no matter how well we know them. I just pray that God holds him and his family close who are suffering from his loss . Their son. … brother. I wish people can know how precious life is I know it’s hard there’s bumps in the road of life but I hope if anyone who is feeling alone ..sad Please talk to someone . Life is so worth living it can be beautiful , it’s a gift I’m not a Dr. or a Psychologist … just a mom who”s heartbreaks every time this happens.😥