Sigh…

Oh it’s just seems like everything is a downward spiral… so not me I’m usually such a happy person. Yes I know we all have our moments, it just seems like it’s been something every day …. and it’s getting a bit tiring . I do not like feeling this way. I feel like I’m being pulled in many directions and it’s all in the directions I do not want to go …I try to do my best with helping family and others . But after awhile it can mentally exhaust you. I won’t go in to detail … it just needs to change and I just need a break from it.

On another note sadly we lost a beautiful young women today her and her family well known in our small town . She has struggled with cystic fibrosis her whole life after a couple years ago after having two lung transplants and her body rejecting them she was told she wouldn’t live to or pass the age of 25 . She passed today at the age of 26 … she suffered severely but always had a brave loving heart a strong will and a very big beautiful smile. She believed she wouldn’t beat the odds and so she lived her life to the fullest enjoying her family her pets her friends and raising money for her disease through many walking benefits even when she could only walk half way down the road. With the help of her loving guide dog . She made sure that everyday of her life on this earth was beautiful. And worth fighting for. So now she is at peace and the heavens have gained a beautiful angel. ❤️

I hope everyone has a good night and takes a moment to count their blessings and lives their life with love and happiness .

Heavy heart…

Go to sleep with a heavy heart , wake up with a heavy heart. When does it stop? This world is going in a sad direction more everyday. This life is not easy to begin with but to add more hate is not good. So I will think of the lives that have been lost and injured and pray that things will change. We can at least hope or can we .. is that going to be taken away from us too.💔

Heartbreaking…

Sitting here drinking my morning coffee with a heavy heart. If your a parent or not this is hard to grasp once again …a school shooting has happened if you have heard about the high school shooting in Florida where 14 kids 3 staff members have been killed also some in hospitals fighting for their life please say a prayer for them .Hug your children hug your love ones life is so precious . As a parent I can’t and not want to imagine this pain . As a parent we do everything we can or I should say are capable of doing to keep our kids safe and sending them to school should not be a worry but it has become this way in this new world we live in . We need to do something . …

Embracing things with a better attitude…

The last 4days have been an eye opener what you felt was important really isn’t well let me rephrase that it’s important but it’s not the end of the world . Just a little curve in the road that lets you see things in a different light. If you read my last posts you will have learned we lost a 17 year old who was part of our community in a horrible automobile accident we went to part of the service and it was all so heartbreaking and unreal Life sometimes can throw us a cruel joke . The loss of this young man will be a forever one. Through these last 4days my son has limped through them been off and on crutches since our Thanksgiving Football game ,he went to the ER but was still bothering him has he got ready for school so off to his Dr. we went results no indoor Track until he can get into a specialist my son is taking this at the moment not has bad as I thought he would be being that Track started today. Sadly he cannot get in for 2weeks their so booked . So we wait and he sits or helps the coach until then … I think he may take this a bit hard when it sinks in that he isn’t running .In the past I would of been devastated and feel bad for him …well I do feel bad for him but he new making the choice to play football he could get injured so life lesson we live with our choice . I am just feeling this has a little bump in the road and it’s not the worst thing in life I have seen that 😥. he will get through this and I will be calm and supportive but I will not let this be I told you so moment which I know will happen . We all live and make choices that we live with and some are good and some are bad but no one as a right to judge . Life isn’t always a easy ride and he will learn from this that he and no one is invincible from life’s curve balls no matter what situation arrives. Life is so incredibly beautiful but sometimes so hard.😥

Changes.. Always

Changes life’s way….everything is always changing sadly I am not very good with changes. changes need to happen that is  how we grow or make things better but sometimes there hard ..sad changes and not wanted . A lot of them lately bitter sweet ones lets see soon we will all have a new President to some it’s good to others  it isn’t we will have to learn to adapt which lately society is having a hard time of that and that is a worrisome thought. My Family and I have gone through a sad change our beloved pups past away before Christmas and it has not felt the same around our house especially for my daughters kitty Miss Abigail and I who spend most of our time in the house . Each day is getting a bit better but some days I feel like he is here because Miss Abigail does her hide in the corner then pounces in to empty air now like she is pouncing on the pups like she use to do, then they would chase each other down our hallway which is what Miss Abigail does after she pounces into empty air but something tells me she sees or feels her buddy …yes I  believe in things like that it helps me get through with out him.

My Other change is in less then a month my youngest child will go for his drivers license and I am excited for him but worried at the same time because he is my youngest and  he loves to always be on the go so I will have some or should say more sleepless nights. I just feels like yesterday he had just  learned to pedal a bike how did time go by so fast  its all  so surreal .  So  make memories a lot of them a hold them tight because change has no time span and we are all on this crazy ride called life.

 

 

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Thoughts once again…

Every day is a new day …but I feel like I did yesterday.

I shed quiet tears for I am not ready to let you go. but I must , I keep moving forward

but it’s bittersweet. I find myself laughing then a memory nips  me in the face like a cold windy day.  I haven’t forgotten you don’t you know ….

your in my heart where you will be always.. .  let me smile let me laugh for it’s too  hard to carry this pain.

The Rainbow Bridge..

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As I take a deep breath and I begin to type my fingers feel like they’re  fumbling over the keyboard, my heart is heavy and I am so far writing this without tears in my eyes, but give me time the tears will fall soon as they have been on and off all week. Dec 2nd was the last time I had wrote anything, my last post was about counting my blessings and I was on day 2 the day my  best friend, unconditionally  by my side and so very loved by my family, the protector and rascal and just sometimes a handful I swear he was a person in his past life 🙂 and so embedded in our hearts for the last 6 years and so very loved our beloved pups took a turn for the worse and we had to say goodbye to him. This was the the hardest thing we’ve ever had to  do. I know Oakland or to us Oakie  is in a better place with no more suffering and no more worries though. My husband and son did a beautiful job with tears in their eyes  with finding a perfect place on out property over looking his home in his roaming place and in the sunlight and now he has gone over the rainbow bridge and I am hoping it’s just as  bright and sunny and warm and he is running in green grass with all the beloved other pets that have passed and he is happy and barking and playing and he will suffer no more  with his issues he had come to us with . We called him 0ur pups  his first 3 years of life were not happy ones but his last years  were happy because we saved him, we tried to erase the miseries his first owners put upon him. They where not nice and he was not able to be a happy, loved dog. I do not believe he knew what love was until he came home with us, he was haunted by  anxiety and trust issues and was not  a dog who took well to visitors he would bark  and growl until he felt you were to be trusted  .. if you were lucky, he did love his sister which I would say a sister from another mother, my daughter loved that and always got a good laugh out of that because his sister is my daughter’s cat that she had brought home 3 yrs ago as a kitten and they became fast playmates  and good company  to one another when we all had to go out. I know Miss Abigail misses him so much  and she finds it just as quiet as we do everyday  this week or I should say it will be as of tomorrow Sunday , she roams through our house looking under things, around things for him before she finally settles down sometime I find her staring off in one direction or another then sprinting like she is spooked. I want to believe she feels him and she is chasing him, yes I do believe that is possible, why not? what does it hurt? He may have been a challenge  but to us and Miss Abigail  he was faithful cuddly  and loving. Yes, each day was a new challenge, but we made it through because we believed as long as we loved him that was all that mattered to him and us and he will never be forgotten. He will be missed, so missed. Every part of our house and life has a memory of him. So my Pups, Mama loves you, Daddy loves you,  Jamie loves you, Seth loves you and Abigail loves  you and I hope you know know that. It took me until today to write this because it was just too painful to say good bye to you on here where there are several  photos and posts about you and knowing I won’t be posting about you.  Well, maybe not, I will post memories .. and I want to thank my followers who loved my photo Monday of him from about two Mondays ago. Rest in peace, my Pups.