Late night movies..

  1. Saturday night my daughter and I settled on the couch and enjoyed the movie The Notebook . We have seen it “hundred times ” but it just never gets old. Yes we laughed and we cried but that’s what happen with good movies. 2 hours went by quickly and it was midnight when we looked up from the TV . My daughter sighed as she yawned . Tiredly telling me how she enjoyed watching it once again. Moments later she headed down to her place and I stayed there cozy wrapped in my blanket in the darkness … yes thinking , thinking about the movie the meaning of it . Yes like I stated seen it ” a hundred times but I’m always amazed how every time I watch it I find something new that jumps out at me . And it sets more meaning to me . As I sat there pondering . I decided I wanted to watch it again .. crazy? (Hahaha ) no I just wasn’t tired and ready to move from my cozy spot. And I thought it would be nice to just watch alone . This movie has so many emotions in it . And yes I feel everyone one of them to my core . I cozied more into my blanket and before I knew it it was over . And my eyes were moist from the tears that once again built up in them. It’s kind of a silly thing when watching a movie that can make you so sad also makes you feel good. And you would shed those tears a”100 times over” to feel those emotions again.
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Thinkers… writing

What is it about thinkers ? Our minds are either calm or racing with thoughts so deep you feel them through your body right into your soul. The thoughts run endlessly through our minds . Words spoken from someone whether there meant to to teach us a lesson or just said we can take them to the extreme and feel it in so many ways . We can replay them over and over in our minds trying to explain to ourselves what it means. Breaking the words into tiny little pieces and then like a puzzle putting them back together again to understand. Oh the mind of a thinker is so exhausting. When someone hurts we think about it and tend to feel hurt with them . Along with thinkers I believe we tend to feel more emotions then others and at times it’s draining . Sadly I love very deeply and once I love there is no end to it. so these qualities are hard to handle at times ..Sometimes it feels like so much weight on your shoulders but honestly it’s in your head. This weight we carry. I try and I try but my thoughts are endless as the ocean and no stopping the endless waves that come crashing in.

Signs…

It’s close to noon on a beautiful Bright Sunday . I’m am just sitting enjoying my first cup of coffee. Yes a bit late , lazy morning. For all of you who read my post ,if you haven’t read it this will not make sense . Yesterday as I posted started at 6 in the morning .. (early for me ). And a good start I was sore but I was full of positivity . I was going to do what I needed .. could do . I did but as the day went on and people came and went and I became a bit more sore . The pity party struck me. I wanted to go places be active my energy level was so high but my body said no . I may have pushed it a bit more then I was told . Sadly I’m not one to be told what to do . And I dislike to be held back . I’m a fighter . I do . Hmm I wonder where my kids get this attitude. So yes as the day progressed . Pity turned into anger. Once again I so do not like to get angry because I do not often take it out on people but on myself . But you can still feel the vibe if your in my presence .

In a blink of an eye the signs came to light first it started with my daughter sending me a text on her work break. She rarely drinks Coca Cola and she grabbed a bottle without looking at it she went to sit and drink it . On the bottles some have random names on them . She texted me a pick of the bottle she wrote under I just noticed this mom look at the name . In huge letters was Francis . I was in awe I couldn’t believe it but a smile came over my face . It was my Dad’s name rare name especially on a soda bottle and when I was at a low point and my daughter having some bad days herself there he was showing us he was near . When he was sick he said he would always be there . My daughter was the last grandchild he saw born . She was 6 months when he passed . He loved her so much and told her one day as he was holding her ” this will be your world enjoy it be strong” sorry tears but happy ones are forming in my eyes. He told me to ” let him go to say goodbye before he got worse “he didn’t want me to watch him die. He said” enjoy your beautiful little girl focus on her love her be happy” so I did what he asked. It’s been unbelievably 24 yrs and I know he still sends me signs especially when I am down . He was showing us he was still with us. Some can be skeptical but I believe that was not random the name on the bottle.

Second sign but this happen to a my friend of mine . she was telling me about it yesterday as well . A ring she loved and wore constantly she lost months ago she’s a nurse so she thought it came off in one of the gloves she has to wear she looked every where as well for it no luck. She was cleaning her bedroom and she said she looked down on her dresser where she had a little basket that held her favorite rings . And there did she notice sitting on top of the others was the ring . She said she was so dumbfounded said she looked through it many times even grabbed other ring from it and it was not there . She asked all her family members if they found it and put it there . They told her they never saw or new it was missing so no. I said to her ” you do know what month it is”? She was silent for a moment I asked if she was still there? She said ” oh my Kim do you think” I told her yes . Her only and younger sister passed away 3 yrs ago of this month next week it will actually be 3 yrs . I am such a believer in all of this . I feel this so deeply. So I do believe she had a part in this . Okay last sign and yes a long post this is. My son came home while I was up watching a movie at midnight he was with friends all day . He told me how one of his friends had a bad day . Bad day is not the word I would use. He showed me a photo it was a car his mother handed down to him when she bought a new one , he only had it 3months … coming home from college for the long weekend with his girlfriend they were hit by a guy who was weaving in and out of the passing lanes and speeding on the highway.He hit him my sons friends car flipped twice and the suv not car was completely gone the photo showed pieces of the car all over the road . Him and his girlfriend walked away from it without a scratch . Yes a bit shaken up but good . People showing at the scene couldn’t believe it , this could , should had killed or at least hurt them . But nothing and thankful for that . Not their time. I do believe So after my son went to bed I sat there in the dark and silence andI told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself that there is so much worse things in life and this is just a little set back and that life is a gift , and we need to honor this gift whether it’s a love one guiding us that has moved on from this world or an experience of an accident we need to get up be thankful smile , be happy and stay strong . Life is not easy by any means but it’s so worth it.think about that as you go along with your day.🙂

Mother Daughter day..

bThe day was spent with my daughter. Taking a ride to get coffee listening to loud music in the car as we sang and laughed . It was beautiful! We drove through the drive thru at Starbucks and we both ordered a Salted Carmel Mocha hot coffee it was so delicious .and sat in their parking lot enjoying our coffees not wanting to go inside. That’s okay this is our thing we have the best talks in the car . I honestly cannot remember when this started…. it just happened one day after being out together we drove home and sat in the driveway and just kept talking and listening to music . And then we ended up sitting in the cemetery where honestly we found it peaceful. Then it was parking lots like today . We just find It calm and peaceful and just the two of us . We could talk about anything and everything and it stayed right there in the car between the two of us. I believe it’s given us a bond that will never break. And for that it’s something I will always cherish.

Reconnecting…

Life is such a strange turn of events. It’s always changing of course that’s a given .The sad thing is at times not only do we loose ourselves but also some of the very important people in our lives as well . Life gets so busy we forget about so many things including those people that meant the world to us . That shared every moment the good , the bad and the sad . People we could say anything and everything to. And we let them slip away. We blame , judge, or just got so self absorbed we lost sight of them. And then it leaves us with a void that we feel we can bury but honestly at times that cannot happen they are meant to be in our lives . This weekend was a perfect example.

My friend that I have known for 24 + years and our daughters were born months apart and this lady is my daughters godmother as well . We grew apart as our kids grew and we live in separate Towns we had gone in different directions . We let life destroy that … okay we destroyed it . Just because we had different lives we slowly walked away from one another. I know such a dumb reason yes …. dumb . This past couple of weeks we reconnected we went out for lunch and we talked and I mean talked about everything . How we felt where it could have gone wrong and in the end we realized how silly it all was that kept us apart. I must add by the time the day ended we had spent 5 hours together talking and laughing. It was such a beautiful day . We made it clear we would not let life or….. us change that again. On Saturday was her daughters wedding and it was absolutely an amazing day . Her family was so welcoming and happy to see here and I back together . We talked and sang along with the band . And yes we laughed …. a lot ! It was such a good day . And when it was all over and I went home . And this is 10:30 at night . We found one another on line and messaged till 1:00 in the morning . The void I felt is gone and it feels great! And yes life I’m sure will .. may get busy again but we both know we will stay strong and still be there for one another.