I have been MIA..

It’s only been 3 days since I have posted but it seems so much longer than that but when your feeling under the weather the last 3 days it feels like a lifetime. I have been fighting or trying to fight what was coming on for about a week now. And Thursday night I had no choice but to surrender. , I have been off and on the couch through the day then by 4 in the afternoon, I spiral down and then Tylenol, tea Chromebook, and the couch become my best friends oh I can’t forget my country music softly playing in the background. It’s been relaxing falling to sleep to it. It occupies my mind from the discomfort of body aches I chuckle when I’m laying here in the dark falling asleep to it because it brings back a youthful moment in life when I was a teenager back home in my bedroom in the dark with my stereo playing love songs or rock music and feeling less weight on my shoulders life was simple no worries no thoughts running endlessly through my mind making my shoulders feel the weight they feel on them now. So even feeling under the weather I believe it’s given me a mental break of reflecting back to some moments that were comforting and no answers to look for. Just music and drifting off into a deep dream sleep. January is a hard month even though it’s been 24 yrs that my dad passed I still remember that dreadful time and day he said goodbye to me. You do not forget something like that. And with all the changes my life, myself have been going through I wish he was here to give me the answers to the questions I have. So these moments of youthfulness just listening to music while I sleep is so soothing.

Now for this sickness it’s been miserable . I am not one to be down . Tonight though feeling a bit more like myself enjoying some London Fog at first I thought it may keep me up but I do not believe it will at the moment with the tea and music I’m feeling very relaxed . Will see.

Time…

Time got away from me today. It’s unbelievable that it’s 8:30 at night and I’m sitting here in a blanket and enjoying a cup of London Fog already. Country softly playing. The day was spent in with my kiddos for a bit until they left to do their things. Once they left I was on the phone for two hours chatting away with one of my girlfriends one that was my childhood friend we lived a yard apart. We were 7 and 11 at the time. We loved that it was the name of the old 7 11 ’s I do not know if they even exist anymore. Oh, the things we would do to one another. And the adventures we had .Growing up in the country in a little town with one lonely gas station where she and I would walk and ride our bikes endlessly on a hot summer afternoon to buy our favorite treat Italian ice. Always cherry flavor for me she always went for different flavors every time we went. She was the friend that I learn to ride my bike with no hands and thought I was the coolest thing. Until I tried it going down a hill with her in front of me and not knowing she stopped riding and I not having enough time to stop collided into her. And there we laid on the ground with our bikes a bit beat up and her yelling at me that we were not friends anymore but after a few days, we were laughing about it with bruises on our legs and arms and our patents just shaking their heads. With my back screened-in porch and her kitchen window facing one another we could see each other perfectly, we would make monkey faces sticking our tongues out at one another until I felt a hand on my shoulder knowing I had been caught( hahaha) my dad telling me in a stern well he tried I saw the little smile that he tried hiding as he told me to stop and get away from the window. He was never good at disciplining . But very understanding and knew kids would be kids . Oh, the things we did.. as time went by and we became teenagers we discovered the art of sneaking out. Late at night, she had it easy she just had to walk out her front door. I had a 4”6inches to jump out of or be boosted up to get back into, I had a bulkhead under my bedroom window now being 4”11 it was not easy. I really do not know how we never got caught. No way was I able to walk out the door my mother could hear the old creaky door instantly. Well, my dad, I believe knew but never told my mom. I would have been grounded for life. Once out though the freedom was beautiful the night air so fresh and the quietness was so calming but eerie. And when the fog would set in and the smell of dew was in the air as the night went by was priceless. Sometimes it was just her and I or two others with us walking down those country roads laughing and talking and dropping to the ground when we saw car lights coming. All so innocent but I believe we felt like were rebels😂 oh the things she and I did are endless to write about. As we chatted on the phone I remembered all of those moments and chuckled to myself. Oh so happy to have those memories to look back on but bittersweet. Do we ever feel that sense of freedom now as adults? Or are we suppose to if so am I missing something here in this next chapter of my life. Is that why night time is my best part of my day these days. Is that why I am so attracted to the night? I wish I knew.

Going back home …

As a child we moved around a bit . My father never settled long with jobs always looking for something better. I believe he just love to travel. Then we ended back to my childhood home where I finished Elementary and and my teenage yrs in . Many night of sneaking out of my bedroom window well falling out of the window and falling back into it to meet up with friends and old crushes .. being 4″11 is a bit hard jumping up from the bulk head into the window. Oh the fun times that was. And many long nights of talking on the phone with teenage crushes and friends. the memories . Are so wonderful to have . My parents have been gone for 23 and 24 yrs now yes they passed within a yr from one another . My dad first and then my mom followed . Yes she had health issues but I so believe a broken heart as well. My older sister owns the house now and lives there with her teenage daughter recently separated from her husband. I stayed over last night (Friday night) and then spent the today as well there it was so relaxing we sat and drank many cups of coffee and tea and chatted and laughed through out the night . It was strange waking this morning in my old bedroom now that my niece occupies. A surreal feeling of sorts. Then it was more coffee , tea and great conversations and laughter. It was so relaxing and nice to catchup with her. Even though I only live 15 mins away we live different busy life’s so finding time to chat is sparse. So this was such a blessings. We are hoping to do this again . But I believe I need to let the coffee and tea wear off first before that happens again (hahaha)

The Little Things..

Life should be all about the little things, I’ve never asked or wanted much . Growing up in a small town being brought up in a family where on summer nights we sat around the hibachi …yes I said that 🙂 that’s what we used then to grill hotdogs and hamburgs yes it took some time with only being able to fit about two items at a time on it ,but that was okay because my sisters and cousins and I would run around in the yard with bare feet ..feeling the grass under neath them playing hide n seek or running through the sprinkler. Catching firefly’s when the night set in . Then the feeling of contentment and security when going to bed at night and being warm and cozy under my blankets, knowing my parents were just in the next room. Yes life changes as we grow some good some bad , it’s life , now I have my own family and it’s not always been easy but once again this is life. We make the best of it we cherish our love ones we do the best and be the best we can be . What I cherish is the little things … here is what I cherish :

My coffee in the morning .

Days spent getting coffee with my daughter.

The honest sincere talks with my son.

My sons hugs ( he gives the best hugs)

The way my husbands face lights up when he laughs and smiles.

Weekend backroad rides in the country with my husband.

The late night talks or laughs with my daughter about random things.

The sunsets at night through my window.

The feel of the sun upon my face when I’m sitting on my deck

Enjoying sitting on our deck staring at the stars .

Wishing on a shooting star .

Most of all : Hearing the laughter of my children through out the house when we are all together. ❤️

Life goes by so fast It may have it’s up and downs but one thing I know it’s all worth it. This is in memory of and written and so thought of more how the little things are all that should matter …since finding out that their was a town resident that has … had a beautiful family and he was killed this week in a snowmobile accident 😥 he leaves his wife and 3 children and many many …. friends . So make the memories cherish the moments love your love ones . And remember the little things. ❤️

Changes..

Credits to Pexels photo :Since my son graduated from high school in June , it’s been a crazy time . Summer spent with him doing his thing ,running with friends .. working .. but there was more bonfires and family parties since he would be heading off to Basic training in the fall. The memories of high school already fading . And the new changes starting with now both kids adults and living their life. I started to settle in with the quietness , less of my sons friends being around less of him being around as well as my daughter. More time spent with my hubby , more weekends spent taking a drive getting coffee , watching movies with takeouts with him or quiet moments while he slept on the couch and I actually enjoying a book. . Redoing certain parts of our home repainting .. changing the decor . It was time. So all good with this change . Then yesterday as I drove through town getting my errands done I noticed no one at the school .I need to go by to get to the Post Office, some kids walking through town , then it dawned on me …February vacation even though I have read blog post with the talk of vacation it just didn’t phase me .

First February vacation childless! and just another week for me. Loved Feb Vacation ..kids having sleepovers making sure there was a ton of food (snacks ) in the house, movies the kids would have piled up to watch ,blankets and pillows all laid out on our living room floor in front of the Tv , the Xbox out ready to hookup to the tv , board games , ready, yeah for us it pretty much was staying home and doing things here late nights. oh there was days sledding and even nighttime sledding with the yard lit up ..till they were cold and soaked so hot chocolate for everyone. Then settling in the living room and as my hubby and I laid in bed the sounds of giggling from the girls jumping and laughing from the boys till silents took over ..with them finally falling asleep .It’s a bittersweet thought as I was laying in bed thinking about it ..especially with the house being so quiet and I in bed earlier then midnight if kids were here. This is the moments when life slaps you in the face and you realize how far you come and how much time as gone by… kind of a awakening how fast life really fly’s by.. I miss them but life has to move on keep moving forward.and I guess that’s why the memories we make are so important. So make a lot of them . Enjoy the time …even if there are times the kids have you wanting to scream 🙂 oh I remember those days and can actually laugh because even now with my son being 18 and listening to what his plans are when he gets home in a couple of weeks makes me feel that the screaming , rolling of my eyes time are not over just yet.. the good thing I can walk away if need be and let him figure it out .. hopefully 🙄lol!

Ahh night ..

The day seems to fly by now with the sun settlings earlier captured a nice photo of the sun setting and then the darkness followed shortly after. . The day went as plan errand to the post office . Then cleaned around the house for a bit until my daughter asked if I wanted to go with her to get her studs on her car at the garage and grab a coffee at our many coffee stops in town. We both ordered a pumpkin spice flavor coffee. After she went with a friend for a bit and I started supper for my hubby and I . Very easy (hahaha) fish stick , mashed potatoes with gravy and a veggie defiantly easy .tomorrow I think meatloaf. After supper was done and cleaned up my daughter arrived home and as my hubby was catching the nightly news her and I sat at the kitchen table chatting and laughing , always the best chats around the kitchen table if my son was home he would be sitting there as well. Something about a certain place in your house that is a comforting setting for good chats and memorable moments. I believe this started with my mom we had the best chats around my family home growing up . I will always remember those times growing up seeing my parents with their coffee in hand chatting away and laughing and then when I grew up I joined in . Nice memory. ❤️ after the time flew by and my daughter was ready to go settle down in her place . My hubby and I settled too and enjoyed our favorite show well one of them .. Seal Team . Show is over house is quiet except for the sound of my hubby sleeping away as I think I will now . First need to say my nightly prayers and send a prayer my sons way that I’m thinking of him .and then I can get some sleep a bit earlier tonight.

Projects

Now that everything has calmed down , The high school days have come to an end. Graduation has come been celebrated and enjoyed … BUT now I have all those photos of football games ,track meets ,color day dress up day graduation ,so on so on .. filling up my phone . Now it’s. time for some projects I believe will or should keep me busy for awhile … taking the photos off my phone printing them organizing them in categories in a memory photo book for my son . Hopefully I will be able to finish it before I do one for a National Guard album , that one will be sm I will not be able to fill with much , at least I can capture some things for him for a keepsake.

Then I’ve discovered the interest of creating a Fairy garden for my own project . My mother in-law has one and I found it interesting so I thought I would try creating one , bought a few pieces so far now to do this as well, then there is my house needs we are thinking of giving the kitchen a makeover ..well over due I guess I have enough to keep me busy .. and my phone will be happy to have all the photos off as well I will keep some on it so I can enjoy . Hmmm I may need a lot of coffee while I’m doing all this., I would say wine but then nothing will get done .. wine for me is for just plain relaxing next to a bonfire or on a cold cozy day inside , coffee will keep me focused🙂 I will post when I get things started and done , this will take a bit but a happy good kind if busy .