Weekends…

The weekend is here. After a very wonderful week. One I have not been able to say in a long time. I took care of me. I left the negative away. I laughed and acted silly with friends and my kiddos. My daughter and I went put for a light lunch and enjoyed vanilla lattes. So delicious. We laughed and had some well-needed conversations. She is my calm. Quiet one my introvert. My son and I, on the other hand, enjoyed some laughter over music. He loves that I like his music. And we love it loud. Yes, my son has a wide variety of tastes. Especially loves some Rap. And he laughs when I enjoy it. So very memorable fun moments with him he is my impulsive, high energy my extrovert. I believe I’m a mixture of both. So this week has been memorable.

On Friday my bestie and I went out for our once every other week meal and 6 to 7 hours of conversation over endless glasses of water and lemon and yes my several mugs of coffee. It’s now Saturday evening and a quiet one at that I’m thinking of finishing the movie I started The Guernsey potato peel pie poetic society. Loved the book And thanks to Jonathan Beckett a fellow blogger told me about the movie being out. . A lovely blog. And he has several podcasts out as well that are so fun to listen to. A bit too quiet for me today. Sunday will be a day out. I know sometimes needed especially this time of year.

I have found a new craving. I must say it’s a bit off for me. I never thought I would love avocados. My son has been pushing me to eat them for months now. Telling me the benefits of them. I tried them years back but never really enjoyed them but now well I’m craving them. A bit amazed by this. You learn something new every day. Well it’s tome to clean up my mess in the kitchen. ๐Ÿ™„

Night…

Night has appeared like an old friend once again. Comforting, mysterious warm but a chill that seems to echo through my body and thoughts. As the night makes me feel free and safe you make me feel as well. Your voice calms me as calm as a warm summer night your voice in the darkness comforts me like a warm blanket as the night comforts the stars and the moon. I need to feel your arm around me. I know when I do I will never want to let them go As the stars and the moon need the night I need you.

I have been MIA..

It’s only been 3 days since I have posted but it seems so much longer than that but when your feeling under the weather the last 3 days it feels like a lifetime. I have been fighting or trying to fight what was coming on for about a week now. And Thursday night I had no choice but to surrender. , I have been off and on the couch through the day then by 4 in the afternoon, I spiral down and then Tylenol, tea Chromebook, and the couch become my best friends oh I can’t forget my country music softly playing in the background. It’s been relaxing falling to sleep to it. It occupies my mind from the discomfort of body aches I chuckle when I’m laying here in the dark falling asleep to it because it brings back a youthful moment in life when I was a teenager back home in my bedroom in the dark with my stereo playing love songs or rock music and feeling less weight on my shoulders life was simple no worries no thoughts running endlessly through my mind making my shoulders feel the weight they feel on them now. So even feeling under the weather I believe it’s given me a mental break of reflecting back to some moments that were comforting and no answers to look for. Just music and drifting off into a deep dream sleep. January is a hard month even though it’s been 24 yrs that my dad passed I still remember that dreadful time and day he said goodbye to me. You do not forget something like that. And with all the changes my life, myself have been going through I wish he was here to give me the answers to the questions I have. So these moments of youthfulness just listening to music while I sleep is so soothing.

Now for this sickness it’s been miserable . I am not one to be down . Tonight though feeling a bit more like myself enjoying some London Fog at first I thought it may keep me up but I do not believe it will at the moment with the tea and music I’m feeling very relaxed . Will see.

Randomness…

Day out with my daughter and her boyfriend. We decided to grab dinner at Panera Bread and of course I who was in need of a coffee drink. Tried one of their lattes. A vanilla hot latte with almond milk. oh my was it delicious. Expensive but worth it. Yes, I’m a coffee junkie. Have to enjoy something in this life๐Ÿ˜Š my poison. I will definitely get another one when we go there.

After we did some shopping. I pretty much just looked around. Now home and the night is a wet one pouring rain. Just relaxing with some country music and catching up on posts. Trying to at least.๐Ÿ˜Š

My life..

Good morning it’s a quiet Sunday so far. The sun is shining bright the wind that is blowing is clearing away the clouds to let in the beautiful blue sky. I’m sitting here eating a late breakfast and enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day. I actually fell asleep around 11 last night. And that is after giving into enjoying a nice hot cup of London fog. Around 9 I had expected I would be up half the night. Shockingly no. Then a lazy morning it was. I know I needed it but I honestly feel so much better on less sleep. I may get my wish tonight. After so much sleep. Friday night I spent out with a girlfriend of mine we met up around 4 in the afternoon for dinner and I arrived home around 11. 7 hours of none stop conversation and laughter. And if she didn’t have have a longer distance to drive then I. We would have talked longer. I always know that once we get out together I will be out for a while. Nothing like talking about everything but really nothing at all if that makes sense? My son is that way as well. We have both realized we are alike we love people being out laughing. And yes we do like our quiet times too. But we are social. I think that’s why he and I can have our differences and then moments or maybe a day later just look at one another and start laughing and realize how ridiculous it was. I hope he and I always stay that way. The wind went from just blowing to a roaring. Bringing in the cold air or something. I guess it’s time to finish my coffee and I’m sure not the last one of the day and get some things done. Need to keep moving.

Quietness…

  • It’s a quiet Sunday evening Country music will be playing softly. Shortly. The tree is down needed to be was shedding needles . I will miss the comforting glow of its lights while I sit here I can’t say I will miss the holidays. This past week has been horrible. My thoughts are quiet as the house is at the moment which is a good thing. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride. I am ready to put this yr behind me and move on to the next. With a new look on life with all this changing, I have been through. And letting the guilt of what โ€is supposedly the right way to beโ€ be blown away in the wind. Yes, the winds of change. How fitting. I am going to post more positive posts but bear with me. Like I’ve mentioned before a lot of changes going on and more to come it needs to be. This year has taught me a lot about myself and I have realized I am stronger than I have ever thought. It hasn’t been an easy way to find this out but at least I have. It’s now time to just keep pushing crawling running anyway possible to move forward. I am determined to do so. I will not do a New Year’s resolution. I do not believe in them. As they never seem to work out . And sometimes I find the resolutions to be more materialistic then self-helping. son has finally been able to get his own car so I have mine back. It needs some work done on it but it’s all doable well I hope so. Have an estimate on the door after the accident so there will be a new door . And then an oil change Some brake work and good cleaning but it’s all mine. An ice storm coming through tonight seems to be closing this town down. Even though I just arrived home earlier and so many are out. Including my daughter and son. Just as I wrote this they just pulled in to the driveway. One less thing to worry about. Time will tell what this storm brings. As of other things in life. But I am learning to not focus on the negative. Easier said then done . Trying though. So bear with me .
  • The longest Day…

    It’s been a long week, a lot of mishaps. If I want to even call it that. Let’s see I finally ventured out Thurs afternot wanting to wait. On dealing with the icy driveway.to get to an appt and just get out as well. I do not know if that was a mistake to get out that day or the lack of staying in too long.on my way home on Thurs night, I happened to get hit by a truck that I believe was driving. A bit. too fast because I honestly looked as I left the parking lot and ventured out on to the busy road. It was clear until I heard a loud crunch and realized I had been hit. I am okay as the guy that collided with me is. Also, my driver’s side door has minor damage. I manage to get back out with my son on Friday for a long drive four hours later ๐Ÿ˜Š he estimated wrong how far it was the truck he wanted to look at. I was okay with it him, and I had a great day together. Today it’s Saturday evening, and it’s the longest day literally. Getting dark around 4 is horrible and my thoughts are reflecting back to this last week and it’s not good. I do not do well with sitting around. And that’s what it’s been today. I am hoping I can settle in a bit cozy in on the couch with some hot tea and my chrome book and watch a movie peacefully. And settle my thoughts. I am anxiously waiting for this holiday to go by and get some kind of normalcy back. If that. I just need a week to get back and do my appts and me time. and stop thinking about everything and just do and stop worrying if I did enough for this Christmas. Oh, what it’s become. My kids are adults, and I need to let go of the should of and have toโ€™s, which I am so good at. And wishing someone could get on board with switching it up a bit now. Sadly things do change. And I am good with it .its healthy to change.but my partner hmm not.. And it’s frustrating. Like I said long yr long day and too much thinking ng and not doing.