It’s been a long day. Not busy but emotional. I woke after a night of tossing and turning and woke very early . Feeling the crave for coffee. So at 6:30 I was up and enjoying my coffee. I had a appointment and it wasn’t even about that . I was just felt this intense emotion of anxiousness. And everything I did ended up wrong. My hair wouldn’t do what I wanted . I spilled my protein smoothie all over the counter . Mind you it was blueberry so yes blue everywhere and thick. Not easy cleaning up.
Most of the day just felt this way. And sadly can’t blame it on the full moon. Because there is none. I went to my appointment and after felt a bit better and realized how horrible I was early to people that where only trying to help me. I did some apologizing . I am really blessed with who has my back . None wanted apologies .. but I still did. As the rain began to fall I headed to the store . As I sat in the parking lot waiting for the rain to let up a bit . The elder man slowly pushing a carriage full of food made it to his car the rain coming down pretty good I was about to get out of my car to help him when a lady walking by noticed him as well and offered her help he declined . I can understand … I just smiled for the man declining the help and wanting to do it on his own and for the lady who offered to help. It was a nice thing to witness. Once inside I headed towards the floral department where my daughter works and she said look at these flowers there so simple and beautiful and we do not get them often I looked down and just smiled ! If you read my last post I spoke of my happy place and my green endless field of daises … yes that’s what they were daisies. So pure and beautiful . I said to my daughter I’m going to buy some she smiled and said I knew you would I thought you mentioned at one time that you love them. So she wrapped some up and told me how to cut them when I got home . Now when I pass by in the kitchen I see my pretty daisies. Such timing that she would get these in and the way my day had been . Still I do not understand this emotion I’m feeling but I’m hoping it will pass soon.
Life is such a strange turn of events. It’s always changing of course that’s a given .The sad thing is at times not only do we loose ourselves but also some of the very important people in our lives as well . Life gets so busy we forget about so many things including those people that meant the world to us . That shared every moment the good , the bad and the sad . People we could say anything and everything to. And we let them slip away. We blame , judge, or just got so self absorbed we lost sight of them. And then it leaves us with a void that we feel we can bury but honestly at times that cannot happen they are meant to be in our lives . This weekend was a perfect example.
My friend that I have known for 24 + years and our daughters were born months apart and this lady is my daughters godmother as well . We grew apart as our kids grew and we live in separate Towns we had gone in different directions . We let life destroy that … okay we destroyed it . Just because we had different lives we slowly walked away from one another. I know such a dumb reason yes …. dumb . This past couple of weeks we reconnected we went out for lunch and we talked and I mean talked about everything . How we felt where it could have gone wrong and in the end we realized how silly it all was that kept us apart. I must add by the time the day ended we had spent 5 hours together talking and laughing. It was such a beautiful day . We made it clear we would not let life or….. us change that again. On Saturday was her daughters wedding and it was absolutely an amazing day . Her family was so welcoming and happy to see here and I back together . We talked and sang along with the band . And yes we laughed …. a lot ! It was such a good day . And when it was all over and I went home . And this is 10:30 at night . We found one another on line and messaged till 1:00 in the morning . The void I felt is gone and it feels great! And yes life I’m sure will .. may get busy again but we both know we will stay strong and still be there for one another.
Hours minutes seconds , yes time . Time that means nothing to a child . No cares. Freedom is in abundance. Endless days spent enjoying the warm soft grass under your toes. Endless nights chasing fireflies in our hands. Laughing over nothing at all but meant everything to the one you were laughing with. The day was ours.Then life grows busier, for some it’s families . We have responsibilities . And our time is not just ours time matters more . Freedom is not just ours. Kids come and grow years fly by in a blink of an eyeThen here we stand once again we find ourselves back to where we started hours minutes seconds mean nothing once again. Freedom is back in abundance . The days are ours again.
My mind is clear as the crystal blue ocean water , my eyes only see the beautiful rays of light. My energy is endless… my heart beats echoing through my soul . I crave for more of this awakening for this freedom I have never felt before . I yearn for a touch ever so gentle that send chills through my body . I want for more I need more, oh this feeling is like a forbidden fruit .. eat it and I will get burned or not and I will still not feel you near . Either way I will loose
I am real close your eyes and you can feel me in your heart and soul I’m the warmth your body feels , I am real…
As the sun warms my face, I am reminded of your gentle touch upon it. The warmth, as I close my eyes. Wanting to soak you in. Feel the intensity of your warmth. Praise in the energy you share. Awake in your glory, watch as you set and wait of the warmth of your return.