Never Judge…

I was with my son the day before he had somethings to do and asked if I would like to take a ride with him, of course I said yes .. these moments are few far and in between. As he was driving we came to a red light and sitting on the island next to it was a man eating a sandwich and a piece of card board leaning on his folded legs with the words written on it “anything helps”..homeless . We didn’t stare but he was noticeable I stated he’s talking to himself I meant nothing mean but felt sadness and lonely for him my son looks at me and says yeah I can see that but don’t we all talk to ourself at times ? I said yeah I call that thinking out loud he said yes then said Im just saying we shouldn’t judge .. I told him oh no I wasn’t just he’s lonely I wish we were a bit closer I would have given him some money . But it wasn’t safe to do so where we sat at the light. My son said we do not know what he has been through never judge . I must say I was proud of his statement ,then just sticking his nose up and ignoring him . Which I know my son is not a snob. But the statement made me realize what a mature man he is growing into and how he his sympathetic to those in need. ❤️

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New Moment!

It’s late afternoon and just arrived home with running to the Mall with my Son . When he woke he asked if I wanted to take a ride to the Mall with him and I was so happy ..you must be like what’s the bing deal well this is my 17 yr old asking me his mom the one who rarely wants to hang out with mom . So this was such a pleasant surprise. It was a perfect time to use my gift cards I had .for the book store ,and spends some time with my newly graduated teen .when we arrived at the Mall he headed in the men’s store and I to the book store, Barnes and Noble there was so many books I wanted and that was such a great feeling because it’s been awhile to feel this excited over books . It’s nice to feel like the avid reader I use to be. I purchased a couple good books thanks to my blogger friend “Its not so much a jaded life **its my world “I hope I got that right.who posted the Stephen KingThe Outsider and then met my son and we grabbed a quick bite on our way back home . As he drove we chatted about random things and then some main things about him Leaving for Basic Training in Oct and how he was excited but nervous and we talked about College it was nice . We laughed about random things as well . I’m happy we spent the afternoon together I hope he is understanding it’s okay to hang out with mom once in awhile . Like I said this is my 17 yr old independent but not..my very socially athletic determined son who is so opposite from his sister and my not so easy one out of the two to raise 🙂 but love him the way he is even if he has kept me up nights since the day he was born to being colic then waking in the middle of the night to get him off his games and go to bed to high school yrs waiting for him to get home so I could sleep. 🙂 but then there’s the side that is loyal to family ,women , his friends and never lets nothing stops him . So now we are home and he is off to his Tues night workout . And I’m going to make some dinner and then settle in with my hubby and the air conditioner and read … it’s not looking like a good night to sit out on the deck that I had hoped still way to warm . 😰

Settling .. thinking stop thinking, ..

Today time seemed to move in slow motion. I went around cleaning up things around the house ,dusting, the usual .Figuring what to make for supper . .. knowing I had time because my hubby had texted to say he was working late. I watched my day time soap and then as I was waiting for the washing machine to finish I sat outside on my swing closing my eyes trying to stop thinking .. reflecting back to what my daughter had told me earlier in the day.. ( read my post before this) couldn’t imagine how that family was coping with this loss … I looked up at the blue sky and thought how beautiful it was and the same word echoed in my mind…..why? Does God know why ? Does he understand ?

I worry about this I must admit because I have a daughter that suffers from such anxiety since high school she is doing much better now , has her moments but gets through . She is so sensitive which I believe is what makes me so nervous .. I know when she hears about suicide it breaks her heart . She has such a big heart . After sitting outside for a bit I knew it was not doing me any good because I just sat there swinging back and forth which usually I love but I was thinking thinking to much . I got up and made myself busy until finally the washing machine was done.. About 2hrs later my daughter walked into the house alone I looked around for her boyfriend she was with earlier … no where to be found . She stated he would be here soon was with his family getting a car from them and I just wanted to come home and wait for him . I didn’t push , I watched as she went down to her place and came back with her book in hand and settled on the couch as she asked what I was doing … I stated not much sat in the living room with her with my book . I knew she was needing some quiet time but also wanted to talk but not , always when she grabs a book. she then said said I think everyone is at the beach I was like what ? she said on Facebook everyone for the most part is saying their at the beach ..going to the beach …you will see this all summer posted on there . I told her yeah I’m sure. Do you want to be ? she said no not at all just wonder why it has to be plastered all over Facebook . I thought to myself that’s what happens on there . People need to state where they are . I rolled my eyes to myself . I just replied well then stay off Facebook . Take a break from it. She sighed .

Sometimes I believe life is only exciting for some if they state all their where about’s and play how happy they are to the world … but are they? . Or just need to brag or just like to state where they are . I do understand my daughters point. I grew up without it and I think life was easier . We lived our life’s did what we wanted and no one had to really know. I think that’s why getting back into reading again and doing projects . Plus waiting for my journal I want to start and so believe it’s a perfect time .not going to say anymore until I receive it. I believe will be a great blessing. 🙂 Tonight I settled in and watched my hubby and i’s favorite summer show . America’s got Talent. Now he is snoring away and I was trying to read but my eyes started to get heavy . My son is settled in for the night my daughters with her boyfriend so I think I will say my prayers and get some sleep .. hopefully I can finish saying them before I find myself falling asleep., yes my prayers are long.. ❤️

Going along…

 

My Son made it through his first weekend Basic training , I guess he wasn’t too tired  after he came home Suday late afternoon , then him and a friend packed up his friends subie outback with camping gear   -a lot of water food , snack bars, then off they drove to New York to hike the Adirondacks, it’s a 3 hrs drive  so they Said they would arrive around 11:30 sleep in the the subie which wasall prepared with blankets a little mattress pad that fit perfectly in the back with the seats pulled down they would wake early  make breakfast and then hike for the day…..the pictures he sent me I had to show … He said it was amazing the feeling was unbelievable like being on top of the world . I wish I could hike it looks so beautiful and peaceful . I would love to feel that. He said there was so many trails to hike that they want to go back again soon.  My hubby went to work then came home around 3 to eat and then went to get sleep to leave for midnight to do a overtime night shift and is still working. My daughter and I spent the day cleaning .her  doing downstairs  I doing my upstairs and then we went  for a ride wanted an ice cofffee and I got a strawberry lemonade . Then her and I odered wraps for supper and settled on the couch together for the evening watching a Netflix show . It was nice spending time with her it’s been a while spending time with her doing something as simple as takeout food and tv . We watched tv and chatted until 11 my son arrived home around 10 Brought al, his gear in then headed to bed   , my hubby left for work tand my daughter and I shut everything off and went to bed ourselves I’m shocked how fast I fell asleep I’m not use to my hubby working at night.

Today we do it all again … My hubby will be home soon he will eat then get some sleep and leave for midnight again . My daughter works till 8 tonight, my son and I are going to go to his track banquet tonight and then my daughter wants to watch some more episodes of our show . So now I will go make some food for my hubby wait for my son to get back from a workout and then get ready to leave for the  banquet .

 

Awards Night…

Tonight was the Awards Ceremony where they find out if they get scholarships and awards for athletics , academic. My husband and Mother in-law and I went . My daughter couldn’t get the time off from work , she will be able to attend his graduation ceremony this weekend which is more important . My Son made out with a decent amount of scholarships which will be good for paying for books and other supplies he will need for College the following Fall semester after he gets back from Basic Training. The whole thing felt so sereal how did we get to this point it seems like just yesterday he was 3 yrs old running around in the yard playing with toys , kicking a ball around and not wanting to come in when it was time to take a nap . Always my fighter the one that test mine and my husbands boundries no fear. There he stood tonight a young man collecting his awards a smile on his face , as my Mother in law and I had tears in our eyes . The ceremony had also consisted with a slide show of all the kids through out the Middle High School yrs watching and actually seeing pics of my son with his friends in varies activities at School was so amazing seeing my son how he joked and interacted with his peers was like being a fly on the wall how he was at school . Pictures spoke a thousand words it proved to me how much he will miss these days . After 3 hours .. yes 3 hrs I think the longest high school awards night I’ve been too we had refreshments and got to meet up with our kids , and talk to the other parents which was a lot of fun and where my husband starts to get a bit worried that we will be there awhile 🙂 but I must say I kept it short he was the one actually carrying on which is such a role changer for us. It was a nice change. It’s getting late so time to settle hopefully my son will be home soon him and his friends wanted more time together so he is still out. Well goodnight everyone.

Evening sky..

This evening I was able to sit outside on our deck with both my kids for a bit . This is a very rare moment. Never do I have both in the same place especially outside . The evening sky looked peaceful as the clouds move by fast. The air seem to cool down after being muggy through out the day . So enjoyed the moments while they lasted. I guess I will just take what I can get. ..

Another last ..

Friday late afternoon started out warm but as the evening came it became chilly , once again at my sons high school for the D2″s championships have begun , my son did well not his best but then again according to our local paper but I believe 2nd place in his relay is nothing to judge about . These are athletes from all the counties around us ,the best of the best competing and after the day before being up at 4 to be at his Army National Guard medial exam he did well . He has a lot on his mind and being his last D2 meet and on his home track is emotional as well. He has ran this track for 4 Year’s now and I know how much he will miss all of this. Now I know my husband will he just loves watching them . I do too but let’s just say the cold is hard to take .. even thought it’s May it was freezing last night sitting on those bleachers are rough not very comfortable and so by 9:30 after being there at 4 ,5and 1/2 hrs was enough. Getting home and eating which we hadn’t yet I was following asleep just getting a couple of slices of pizza in .hahaha I finally gave up and settle into bed under my electric blanket. My son had came home a bit after us and was so tired just headed to his bedroom and fell into bed and said can’t do a shower we let him be and let him just get some sleep. I know though that he laid there thinking about how this was his last meet on his home turf ., Because he is a lot like me and thinks a lot .. especially about moments.

Today was a rainy day and busy but that’s for another day …as I look at the clock I think it’s time to call it a day . Still a bit tired from last night. so Goodnight everyone.