The whys….

Its been a long week and it’s only Monday… going to be a long week until Friday . It’s Feb vacation for school and it’s the vacation I never could understand .. The weather is rainy or snowy but then melts and sadly it’s a week of no money the week before when you get paid every other week …. My son is going out of his mind it’s the evening he came straight home after practice ate and planted himself on his bed in the dark . Im helping him  to a point for necessities but it’s a no pay week for us as well and when your on a budget you do what you have to do.plus he found out his car that we thought was in great condition has some issues so tomorrow it goes to the garage to see how bad even though I’m a bit nervous I told him will deal with it you can use mine ,so not a good time  I know there is worst things in life then no money …car issues again  but  sadly there  are times like this ,been here before its just sad it comes at a time that is not conveniant but when is it?  This generation cannot deal with it . . Back in my day yes things where cheaper , cars fell apart we delt with it we had to get creative to occupy our time with our friends sitting at a friends( even if they picked us up )house watching movies back in my day it was music videos on mtv  and snacks and a bunch of laughs when we had no money . This day in age it’s go out to eat go to the movies eat out oh did I just say that hahahaha yes I know I did but this is all they know what to do….so frustrating  let’s see my son is home in his room laying there on his bed with phone in hand looking like he lost his best friend.. I ask him where are his friend home ok and this friend home hmm so their all sitting at home because no Money  so I to say to him cheer up soon you will get paid  we all have days months like this I told him sadly look at the alternative as my gaze goes to the nightly news talking about the school shooting and so heartbreaking families burying thier  love ones such an unfair tragedy . My son looks at the tv and says I know I understand believe  me. I know he does know life is more about money but sadly our minds are programmed that money makes us happy ….ok yes it does  it makes things easier to a point but it’s also a nuisance when we don’t have any it sets our mood …just so wrong we know life is much more then that.

I go into his room and  suggest ask a friend to spend the night he says to me I’m okay I’ll be fine now this is different usually he would bark at me  but he says it  nicly I say do you have a book you need to read for school read it take your mind off things he smirks at me I should know who I’m talking too that would be what my daughter would do not him haha and then I see his phone light up he smiles , laughs and I pat him on his arm and walk out of the room he looks at me say what was that for . I just smile back and say I’m happy I see a smile on your face.even though it was technology  helping him connect to a friend . Now if we can just focus on the positive now I’m smirking ME positive hmm not a trait I do well, sadly when  Life and it’s moments have made me this way  it’s not always what we asked for and I have learned this along time ago and more in the past year and it’s just really hard and I’m not talking about money ..life is hard it’s just trying to find the way through it  .. To the beautiful part of it as well..and there is a lot of beautiful moments it’s just with everything that has happened and the world filled with so much more of worrysome things that just prooves to us shows us  not to take anyone or anything for granted .  Be grateful and take life one day at a time is how I get through it❤️

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Right or wrong?

In my post last night I had mentioned I had a conversation with my son. and I had said it didn’t go as well as planned well I have decided my son is a teenager and definitely does not  or is in defiance, does not have a clue about life okay yes he is 16 maybe very social has a lot of drive… focus but maturity not. Okay yes we have all been 16 and we lived in our own worlds  and we thought life was so great and fun and we thought we knew everything and our parents we looked at them like they where aliens ….well that was the  look I did  towards my son. Nothing I said clicked nothing I said was right ,he contradicted himself through out the conversation. I was  dumbfounded and knew our talk was going in circles and I didn’t know who was chasing who. I stopped talking just let it go and he went in his room . I pondered the thought over and over in my head the one thing he said that kept slapping me in the face was I qoute  “You ask so much of me” “your always telling me to get a better job”  it’s always about money I need to concentrate on school  and sports ,okay one his father and I only ask for respect when he walks into the house and good grades . and yes we want him to do good with his sports and get into a good college so he can run for them and he is so good at it but its hard to take him after he gets so tired he  is exhausting after because he is ugly that I cannot take.who doesn’t want that and we only say things about his job because he his always complaining about money and his father and I feel he wants to hang out with his friends every night and eat out  in which case he contradicted himself when he said we do not do that as much now and I only need enough money for gas. yeah okay that’s why when this weeks Spring vacation is here he will be going out and why should we have to pay for that when we pay for everything else and he is able to work. hmm is he thinking of other parents…what is it with these kids and their drama they do not have a clue about life I know my son does not. where did we go wrong or his this just the teenage hormones and friends talking ? so I think as much as I do not want to it’s time to  back of  and let him eat his words and fail a bit. This is going to be very painful to watch.

Life.. teenagers ..changes it’s enough to make a parent crazy. I know all have been through it and survive but my day we worked for what we wanted we asked for nothing and we got it we where grateful .this generation just seems so arrogant and my Son tries to make it be that it  is me …oh no it is not and I am going to show him. wow that was a rant..hahaha okay guess I needed to get that out . Sorry Everyone. Just been a crazy ride on this new journey of being a teenager .Yes have an adult daughter but never went through any of this with her but they are 5yrs apart and so different from one another. Does anyone have any advice to give ? would love some.

Days gone by….

sitting here in the quietness with the episodes of The Walton’s playing The feeling of  warm and loving feelings of a Mothers arms wrapped around me .As a child I remember when my parents went out and my older siblings were out as well I was home being taken care of  by my Grandparents who faithfully watched The Walton’s that played on  the weekend nights and I was bored to tears because I was young .. I just did not understand the meaning of this show but I always loved the ending when the whole family would all be settled in their beds and they showed the  the house in the darkness  with one or two bedroom lights  on and they would say goodnight to one another it felt so cozy  and a warm feeling . I remember trying it with my family one night and it did not go over well..my sisters yelled at me to  stop and just go to bed oh the simple days ..I still to this day laugh at that memory. With the world feeling like its falling apart all around us and how materialistic we have all become when back in the days The Walton”s show us that money was sparse but they had just enough for their needs if that but that family love. morals accounted for everything and that they where rich in more ways then anyone of us  will ever be…I think we have lost sight of that that being rich is not just how much money we have but the love of our families and how we treat and respect others. So every now in then when I need a reminder with life’s  trials I watch the Walton’s to put things back into perspective.