Changes…

This afternoon while in town I notice how the leaves are changing I kind of feel like those leaves, changing myself …. I see the kids on the playground as I drive home and see them running laughing and it’s beautiful so young and free where did the time go … doesn’t seem like it was that long ago I was sitting on the ground with other parents chatting while all our kids played on the playground when School let out . How we would have to finally tell the kids it was time to head home . So we could settle in for the evening with supper , homework , baths and then a little time for some TV before bed. Now my day pretty much is all mine . After things around the house needs to be done , somethings never change . I’m slowly trying to let go of this strange guilt I hold over myself with all this free time to enjoy my soaps a bit more read a bit more chat with friends all day (hahaha) I do not know why I feel guilty doing nothing a bit more except for what I enjoy . My daughter thinks I’m too hard on myself . That I’ve earned this time since there is really no routine I need to follow anymore. I believe she’s right . I guess I’ve always have had been busy and now no so much until I find somethings to do .

The whys….

Its been a long week and it’s only Monday… going to be a long week until Friday . It’s Feb vacation for school and it’s the vacation I never could understand .. The weather is rainy or snowy but then melts and sadly it’s a week of no money the week before when you get paid every other week …. My son is going out of his mind it’s the evening he came straight home after practice ate and planted himself on his bed in the dark . Im helping him  to a point for necessities but it’s a no pay week for us as well and when your on a budget you do what you have to do.plus he found out his car that we thought was in great condition has some issues so tomorrow it goes to the garage to see how bad even though I’m a bit nervous I told him will deal with it you can use mine ,so not a good time  I know there is worst things in life then no money …car issues again  but  sadly there  are times like this ,been here before its just sad it comes at a time that is not conveniant but when is it?  This generation cannot deal with it . . Back in my day yes things where cheaper , cars fell apart we delt with it we had to get creative to occupy our time with our friends sitting at a friends( even if they picked us up )house watching movies back in my day it was music videos on mtv  and snacks and a bunch of laughs when we had no money . This day in age it’s go out to eat go to the movies eat out oh did I just say that hahahaha yes I know I did but this is all they know what to do….so frustrating  let’s see my son is home in his room laying there on his bed with phone in hand looking like he lost his best friend.. I ask him where are his friend home ok and this friend home hmm so their all sitting at home because no Money  so I to say to him cheer up soon you will get paid  we all have days months like this I told him sadly look at the alternative as my gaze goes to the nightly news talking about the school shooting and so heartbreaking families burying thier  love ones such an unfair tragedy . My son looks at the tv and says I know I understand believe  me. I know he does know life is more about money but sadly our minds are programmed that money makes us happy ….ok yes it does  it makes things easier to a point but it’s also a nuisance when we don’t have any it sets our mood …just so wrong we know life is much more then that.

I go into his room and  suggest ask a friend to spend the night he says to me I’m okay I’ll be fine now this is different usually he would bark at me  but he says it  nicly I say do you have a book you need to read for school read it take your mind off things he smirks at me I should know who I’m talking too that would be what my daughter would do not him haha and then I see his phone light up he smiles , laughs and I pat him on his arm and walk out of the room he looks at me say what was that for . I just smile back and say I’m happy I see a smile on your face.even though it was technology  helping him connect to a friend . Now if we can just focus on the positive now I’m smirking ME positive hmm not a trait I do well, sadly when  Life and it’s moments have made me this way  it’s not always what we asked for and I have learned this along time ago and more in the past year and it’s just really hard and I’m not talking about money ..life is hard it’s just trying to find the way through it  .. To the beautiful part of it as well..and there is a lot of beautiful moments it’s just with everything that has happened and the world filled with so much more of worrysome things that just prooves to us shows us  not to take anyone or anything for granted .  Be grateful and take life one day at a time is how I get through it❤️

Me myself and I …and Miss Abigail!

It’s a mild Friday evening and  everyone is out of the house ..my son had a meet and my husband is there , I can’t wait till Spring when I can see my son participate in outdoor track. Winter track never works for me not enough sitting room , a lot of things going around and I’m still getting over my cold, I’m  sure my son is fine he is busy concentrating on his meet . He will be happy there’s food for him when he gets home. That’s my part.My daughter is out with friends so it’s just myself and Miss Abigail who is on my bed at the moment nice and cozy so I am on the couch and coloring my  3rd   Page in my adult coloring book in a   Very Quiet house. Off and on I hear a thunk or a pounding noise but I tell myself that it’s the house settling after a warmer day and now cooler night . ….. I should be use to this by now this house has always made noises since we built 12 yrs ago. At first my husband didn’t believe me or should say didn’t want too until one night he was home by himself and heard the same noises. So I have  the tv volume up. 😂 It’s helping a bit. I going to concentrate on  my coloring. .🙂image

Photo Monday ….

I’m late for posting my photo , it’s been a day of cleaning up after a long weekend of July Birthday celebrations for my son and I . Beautiful cakes and a beautiful sunset as well can’t beat that I wish I had taken a photo of the cake my daughter had gave me it had pink roses on it and was so yummy. We had a bonfire in our pit that went for two days and lots of chatting and laughter . Oh and the the adults and kids played cornhole ever heard of it ?a lot of fun and challenging. So I hope you enjoy our cakes my daughters Birthday is next . August and yes she will have a cake too …have to make  her Birthday wish blowing out the candles.