Comfort..

It’s 10:30 at night laying in bed enjoying my book . It feels good to finally settle and read . My comfort zone. The house is quiet everyone is home and settled in their rooms . The fan is all that echos through the house as I read. This was so needed . It stops my thinking wandering thoughts. In which case is always something I do. But for now I am focused on the story my book tells . And it’s comforting. I think another chapter or two then I will get some sleep. Good night everyone.

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Rainy summer night..

Everyone is home and settled in . Laying in bed the house is calm and quiet except for the sound of the crickets and the rain poring down watering the leaves and grass making a tapping sound as it reaches them.ahh rainy summer nights. , such a feeling summer nights.

Rolling my eyes at myself…

So tonight my hubby and I are searching through the TV channels for something to watch ..we come upon the movie The Nun. I knew I should of listen to my hubby when he said your not going to like this it’s a horror movie . I kind of new this , my son had told me about it and I knew it was just wrong in general to watch . Being religious and this movie was just so wrong in many ways . Sadly my curiosity got the best of me and it was half way In to the movie and okay let’s just say I have scared myself several times tonight . Just awful this movie was and I regret watching what little I did. I wonder why things are they are in so many sad ways . My hubby turned it. But not soon enough. I guess that will teach me.

I went outside onto the deck to take in the fresh night air and to focus on something peaceful .I went to look up at the stars and well I striked out again . The clouds have moved in no stars …But I took in the stillness of our darken woods. The sound of the peepers out past the swamp. Occasionally the distant sound of a dog barking. Peaceful it was . At one moment I thought maybe I saw something run across the yard .. maybe a fox or my mind once again playing tricks on me. Yes still regretting .. 🙄 the other night as I laid in bed I could hear the train and it’s whistle from the nearby train tracks but not tonight . Well not yet at least. I let you listen . It’s beautiful.

Oh the life of a mother ..

The weekend was beautiful despite the rain. This week though even with the sun finally showing itself I just feel this dread or something .. I cannot place this feeling it’s nothing to do with a lack of energy ..oh that I have a lot of .I do know I put myself back in that mom take care mode .. okay you are probably thinking what is so wrong with that ? Well a lot is wrong with that. I’m back in my mode and I promised myself when my son came home after Basic and being away for 6 months I would get on my own routine . And when my son got on that plane that first day . I was good had to be this is what he wanted ..my hubby and I hugged him and let him go and then hubby and I headed home with a coffee stop . And a phone call from him asking if we were home since he had a 2hour wait till his flight I knew he was missing us already being his first time away all to be expected. When we arrived home I cleaned up the house . Room by room not my sons he had cleaned his before he had left. So I just paused at his bedroom door . Then made myself move along. Supper came and my daughter at work then boyfriends … hubby and I ate just it just being the two of us . Well over the 6 months with a 10 day Holiday pass for Christmas he was home . It felt great but so strange I was in a whole new routine . And so him and I clashed a bit … sadly . I was told this was normal. Then the time came and he had to go back. By March I was ready to have him home. And this time it was better we were at an adult son and his mother relationship We talked on a new level . My time ..my routine was still there and he had his routine. Then here we are in May and I’m finding myself out of my routine .. well more then I want to be . I’m worrying if he’s ate what he’s doing . He has been very good about it when before he did not like it. All the mothering believe me I can get over bearing🙄Yes he has had his moments and has told me in a nice way to stop but then sadly apologizes when honestly I do not want him to. I know this summer is going to be a long one. Right now he is working two jobs and he is gone a lot . So I’m trying to get back into the routine of just my hubby and I . In the Fall along with National Guard drills and going away to college it will be my hubby and I and my daughter again when she is here. and I think it will be hard to let go of him this time. He will not be far away it’s for a matter of convenience for him to dorm with our bad winters . And now with all the things happening in this world and him In the Army National Guards has added this worry more then when he signed up . And I can’t say much about this but I do not know if I’m coming off a vibe he is giving out since I’m so good at both my kids vibes of something there worrying about or doing tends to bounce off of them on to me . Always been this way. So could this be it? I’m feeling his worry. Yes he knows what he as signed up for but being 18 there is concern I’m sure with him. He is such a thinker like me . And his humbleness is been a bit more apparent. Which makes me feel anxious…Even though I feel this way I would never change it for the world . Being a mother is just so hard sometimes because the love you feel and there is nothing you will not want to do for your kids . This Fb quiz actually says it. well except for the cowering in your presence well unless you hurt my kids🙂

I made a book list and ordered a book that is on its way that I’m very excited about and I’m looking forward to it . Which it’s been a bit since I was excited about a book since not been able to find a good one and I’m going to keep ordering hoping for more good book to occupy my mind at night , especially when I’m thinking or when he is out late both my kids with that. So my mind doesn’t wander. When I get my book I’ll post it . For now yes finishing the Road. Yes it’s dragging .. but according to my daughter she is shocked that I’m in the last two chapters of it, being that it’s not usually something I would read or even think of finishing. 🙂 well it’s getting late need to try to get some sleep so off I am to bed. Hoping to hear that train and its whistle in a distance I’m so comforted to while saying my nightly prayers falling asleep .

Long week of nothings..

It’s Friday … been a long week of nothings. The weather doing its back and forth to warm to cold , to sun to rain to cloudy, and for myself feel good one min then next not.. oh this allergy season is going to be a long one… any who the weekend is soon here , its Friday evening both kids at work , hubby and and I watching the news as the rain falls on this cold dreary evening as well. Miss Abigail is roaming the quiet house . Last night my daughter and I stayed up chatting in the living room after 10 at night while my hubby went to get some sleep. Yes not late but the latest her and I have stayed up chatting in awhile . I only need moments to make me happy but we spent more then moments chatting so even better. My son came home around that time from work and in his tired non talkative mood.. so we let him be while he enjoyed the plate of food I saved for him . My daughter kept saying she heard a loud noise like a vehicle in the driveway none of us expecting anyone . I looked out and good thing because the interior light was on in the car. I told my daughter I was going out to shut it off , she went to the door with me that’s when we were heard the sound more clearly… the rumbling sound of a train out in the distance . I went out shut the light off and just stood there looking up at the sky …the sky was blanketed in stars . What a sight. . Shining down upon me i just admired it . In the distance towards the swamp I could hear the peepers . I just stood there a bit longer breathing in the cool fresh air absorbing the moment. Not wanting to go in to just absorb the night energy . … Until I heard my daughter yell out the door “mom are you still out there ?” Then yes the moment ended (hahaha) I told her yes and said I was coming . Once in I looked at my kitchen and smiled I haven’t really took notice to what my kitchen looked and felt like to come home or into after at night since we painted it red ,and moved things around , and now put in a breakfast bar and soon stools . Need to finish .. a second coat of paint in hallway is needed . It was a cozy homey ..nice feeling. And then soon we will start with the outside and repaint decks and put our furniture out . At least our solar lights are out and around our little pond and flower gardens . Those are beautiful to see illuminating the outside. But until then when the weather decides to cooperate will be outside. Enjoying the stars .

Quietness…

Drifting off to sleep slowly… thankfully the night is quieter the winds no more . Replaced with the moonlight shining in through the sides of my window shades. No trains tonight echoing in the distance , oh the eery but comforting sound it is. The house is quiet , everyone is home and settled in. Even Miss Abigail is down in her place . Happily she went down the stairs as my daughter called to her and as I told her good night her little face looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs … I swear if she could talk she would of said goodnight. 🙂 her eyes said it all tho. Off and on through the quiet darkness I can hear my son laughing quietly , he must be on his phone . The sound makes me smile. Oh how I will miss this as time goes by and they all spread their wings .. but for now I will absorb every moment every sound every quietness of us all settled in together. And now I will drift of to sleep as I say my prayers ….

Windy night…

Laying in bed trying to read . But the wind is roaring which is an understatement .. it’s reeking havoc! It’s a bit unsettling. So trying to focus on my book is a bit hard. My hubby is lucky he’s snoring away and not hearing it or he would be going from one window to another like a dog .. hahaha.. My son who settled in a bit earlier then us , texted me from his room asking if I was still up and if I was hearing the wind. He couldn’t believe how loud it was. He said he wished he was sleeping so he wouldn’t have to listen to it. We’ve been texting back and forth trying to take our minds off of it . But it’s an endless roar . It’s like a force that doesn’t want to be reckon with….. and it’s won one battle I put my book down on my bedside table and shut the light off . And went under my covers a bit more . I’m sure no animals are running around tonight , their probably tucked themselves down deep in our woods waiting for it to pass like myself. My son said goodnight so I believe he is hoping to sleep and not have to 😂listen to it anymore . I’m getting there myself. My daughter is with her boyfriend I hope they drive safe , so Miss Abigail is downstairs in their place . My daughter said she would be fine she would settle on her bed and sleep. Oh my I think since I turned the light off the wind has gotten louder.. I can take a thunderstorm much better then wind. Our trees are being thrashed around out there and the house is making strange noises when it blows around along the house. Okay I think I’m going to cozy up a bit more under the blankets and try to sleep. 😕