At times my mind plays tricks on me, I question .. are you real? Are you really here with me, I’ve never have felt this before it’s as strange as the darkness we can not see through but only feel. When I close my eyes I see your smile. I hear your kind voice .I feel the gentleness in your touch even though we have never touched. My heart feels your warmth ,warming me when everything else around me feels cold. Please let this be real for I crave you like a body thirsts for water . Oh please let this be real …


A long Sunday…

Woke after having a full nights sleep once again so rare for me.. silly thing is I fell asleep so soundly as the music echoed loudly through the bedroom window and the fan blew in some of the bonfire scent from my sons fire with many of his friends showing up through out the evening one car after another. Their good kids so no worries for I but my other half was not liking it….🙄 they were doing nothing wrong so I told him to just go to bed .. well he did but I do not believe he slept well but oh I did .. I woke to my living room filled with his friends sleeping on our sectional , floor , chairs wherever they could get comfortable. Once out of the shower they were headed out to grab some breakfast in town at their favorite local diner . And I enjoyed some coffee out on the deck surprisingly the fire still smoking.oh how I will miss him and his friends…. but such as the wind changes direction so does life . And all we can do is figure out if we go in the direction of the winds change or against the wind and stay where we are? I want to believe we go where the wind takes us . Isn’t life about change , moving forward? I hope so. How can you or things stay the same if everything else is changing around us. I believe that would be like feeling dead inside. My opinion only. This blog isn’t named winds of change for nothing. On to the last week of the four of us all together. And it is going to be hard .. he brings life to this family . His contagious adventurous personality . Just lights everything up but I know he is looking forward to all of this and is ready so that makes me happy. And I’m curious to see where the wind takes us….

It’s 8:30 at night and it’s completely dark out . I’m happily enjoying the movie Bohemian Rhapsody as I write this. I love Queens music and the story , I know everyone may have different opinions on it but all I see is a man who fought many struggles of who he was or who he should be . And I cannot judge someone who is struggling .. this world is made up of people living their life’s in the way they choose and seem to work for them. We do not know the struggles of anyone all we can do is respect their choice to tell or their choice to stay silent . So with that said I’m going enjoy the rest of the movie .

Quiet But full house…

It’s a cool Saturday night . The stars are out blanketing the stars like diamonds it’s very beautiful . My son has friends over their enjoying a fire … the last weekend before the big move in day for all of them in college. I can hear the bass from the radio their playing , echoing through the open windows and I’m sure laughter is to follow. My daughter is with Miss Abigail down In here place with a friend. So full house but deafening quietness inside. When your adult kids have company you do not bother them. Oh how the wind changes and life blows in a new direction whether we are ready or not….

Night… noises

It’s a cool Monday night . Outside the sky is speckled in stars and the crescent moon bright enough to cast shadows along the edges of our woods. The frogs you can hear in the distance and firefly’s are out and about making it look magical as they light up the ground and the trees . Inside the house is quiet and dark as everyone including Miss Abigails is tucked away in their rooms for the night. I thought I would take advantage and cozy up on the couch and enjoy my next new book.

My mind changed quickly as I saw the front outside light turn on . It’s probably just an animal running through the yard… but no I couldn’t leave it at that , my imagination got the best of me. Earlier on Facebook there was a post that someone escaped from the jail around 2pm and they still hadn’t found him. To keep a look out. Now it’s about an hour and a half away from where he escaped and honestly I do not think he would come our way it would be too easy to get caught. But sadly my imagination wouldn’t let it go so I shut the light off checked the doors again . And ran down the hall to our bedroom ( hahaha) now I’ve tucked myself in bed . This is the girl who just received a stack of Stephen King books from my sister to read … hmm will see how that goes . Ridiculous … right? It’s been a strange day so why not top it off with a strange night. ..Spooking myself I really good at. 🙄


It’s 10:30 at night laying in bed enjoying my book . It feels good to finally settle and read . My comfort zone. The house is quiet everyone is home and settled in their rooms . The fan is all that echos through the house as I read. This was so needed . It stops my thinking wandering thoughts. In which case is always something I do. But for now I am focused on the story my book tells . And it’s comforting. I think another chapter or two then I will get some sleep. Good night everyone.

Rolling my eyes at myself…

So tonight my hubby and I are searching through the TV channels for something to watch ..we come upon the movie The Nun. I knew I should of listen to my hubby when he said your not going to like this it’s a horror movie . I kind of new this , my son had told me about it and I knew it was just wrong in general to watch . Being religious and this movie was just so wrong in many ways . Sadly my curiosity got the best of me and it was half way In to the movie and okay let’s just say I have scared myself several times tonight . Just awful this movie was and I regret watching what little I did. I wonder why things are they are in so many sad ways . My hubby turned it. But not soon enough. I guess that will teach me.

I went outside onto the deck to take in the fresh night air and to focus on something peaceful .I went to look up at the stars and well I striked out again . The clouds have moved in no stars …But I took in the stillness of our darken woods. The sound of the peepers out past the swamp. Occasionally the distant sound of a dog barking. Peaceful it was . At one moment I thought maybe I saw something run across the yard .. maybe a fox or my mind once again playing tricks on me. Yes still regretting .. 🙄 the other night as I laid in bed I could hear the train and it’s whistle from the nearby train tracks but not tonight . Well not yet at least. I let you listen . It’s beautiful.