Cold…

It’s the coldest night in a while . As I write this I’m under my covers . Earlier the wind was blowing so bad it was making a roaring sound ,all we could hear as we watched the nightly news .. which why we watch it I do not know , nothing good the world is not in a good place . The chaos in the politic world is crazy.. but that is all I’m saying , I do not like to talk politics.

Today was a quiet day I’m going to adopt this word quiet I say quiet a lot . ๐Ÿ™„ but quiet is my world for the most part … and yes tonight it’s quiet as well . It’s okay though because soon my son will be home well two months but soon . So even though for the most part his friends will be still at college and he will be working and doing The National Guard his music will echo through the house once in awhile when he’s home. My daughter is constantly on the run whether she is at work or with her boyfriend or friends so I do not see her much . Even though she is telling me she is so tired and is ready to just rest …. oh to be young. I know I’m just gibbering but thinking of someone who is flying back to College tonight to Ireland and her plane has been delayed 2 hrs and it’s late as it is when she’s flying out. Poor thing . So I know I’m rambling.. I guess it’s time to get off here and try to sleep. Goodnight everyone.

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Running from my thoughts…

It’s been about 17 hours since hearing from my son. At 8 pm when he landed in Missouri he waited for his ride to the base . At 10:30 his time 11:30 ours we texted he thought he would be staying at the Army quarters there for the night being that the Base was 2hrs away. At 11 pm I received a message that he was shipping out to the base so we said somethings to him and then Goodnight thinking it would probably be the last we heard from him until he could do once a week calls.. after my hubby and I having a rough emotional day ,sleep was not easy to come but eventually we manage to fall a asleep . At 3:00 in the morning my phone lit up and the ring was so loud I had had it up . My sons face appeared on it . It was a quick serious voice I’m here and stating he was safe and when he could call he would .. well that made us happy he was safe .. there ..but it triggered my mothering strings .. did he eat , drink enough , why isn’t he sleeping oh yes I could keep going.๐Ÿ™„ my hubby and I eventually settled down to get some sleep I do not believe much we both have been in a fog all day and expecting him to walk through the door at any minute. So much to get use to , it’s quiet , less busy, less razzing one another , I miss his big smile . Supper time and and now evening is the hardest because this is when I’m waiting wondering when he will be home to eat or not . Not wondering .. worrying when he will be home when we go to bed. Okay you got the idea . Just so hard. Miss him. This afternoon I did do some adult coloring that helped .it stopped my thoughts from wondering. For awhile ..

It’s coming along pretty good . I think it will look good after it’s done. I’m happy I was able to get into it today. and now that supper is done and cleaned up a plate saved for my daughter when she gets him from work , chocolate cookie bars just made. I think while chatting with my hubby and watching news I’ll color a bit more . I think it may be a early night for all of us ,my daughter who stated she didn’t sleep well and hoping thinking it will be for my son as well . Will all get the sleep we need . I hope you enjoy my photo of my coloring page . I guess it’s time to finish some more.

And heโ€™s on his way…

It’s 6:43 here and this day has been long and teary.. for my son its even longer only 5:43 where he is waiting for his 2nd flight and so many more hours to travel until he’s at his destination . When he arrives at the Base he gets one call to say he arrived . It will be almost midnight when that call comes in. I’ve heard from him through text while in between flights .. so much waiting. He’s doing well for his first time flying on his own . Tired .. letting him go this morning was so hard . Did well not to show too much sadness but he did hug me like three times and did the shake hand hug with his dad several times too which is unusual for him . I know he was a bit nervous but so ready. He stated he was nervous but ready but I just wanted to hold on to him and not let go . My baby boy .. no parent book in the world teaches you how to let them go. When my husband and I were driving back home from dropping him off my cell phone came to life displaying his photo I answered so fast ready to ask him if everything was okay . He called because he had two hrs to wait for his flight and wanted to let us know how long it would take to get to the Base and he was bored . Happy to hear his voice but after getting off the phone it triggered the tears . I already was missing him. Once home hubby and I told our daughter how it went she couldn’t come with us not knowing how long it would take and she had to go to work. Then him and I kept busy around the house ,him outside doing oil changes on snowblower .. generator getting ready for winter even though it couldn’t be anymore humid that we have an air conditioner running. So iI was inside cleaning up around the house finishing some of my sons laundry he has left anything to do to not think how quiet it will be for awhile . And here it’s evening now and catching the nightly news until we settle in bed and watch our shows and wait for a my son to call. . When I know he can settle I will . Yes always a mother. That’s what us parents do. Soon my daughter will be home she is ready to get home eat and watch her shows as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if It crosses her mind to ask where her brother is . She always would when she would get home from somewhere and knowing he was out he was always out she would ask where he was . I know I will think off and on I wonder what he’s up to for the day . I always wondered it . Habits.. well for now I will get comfortable color or try until shows are on.

Landline phone …really!

Today was like any other day lately enjoyed my morning coffee, caught up on the morning news then kitchen clean up after breakfast , laundry. Then something I haven’t done in awhile spent 3hrs on the phone … not the cell phone landline ..house phone (hahaha) this should not feel strange to say or write. I was watching my show and texting a long lost friend that her and I shared the years of parenting together with two out of her three kids that are they same age of my two . My daughter is still good friends with her daughter. We vacationed together went to outings together the girls did endless sleepovers . The past two yrs we have been drifting slowly apart like when the ocean tides drift in then out and back in but for our friendship not coming back in . I can’t really say what drifted us apart ..I guess busyness , life , I don’t know maybe lack of effort on both our parts checking in but lately we have been texting more and trying to figure what happened . Then today we were texting and my soapy was on that we both use to watch together while being on the phone with one another . I got sick of texting so I picked up the landline and called her and we just chatted away talking about our soapy laughing how crazy it was and I believe we manage to talk about 10 different subjects..okay a bit of a exaggeration but wouldn’t be surprised being on the phone for 3 hours. Let’s say it was so therapeutic . Happy I never got rid of our landline. Many households do not have them anymore they just rely on their cell phones. A landline is so much more comfortable to carry around and clearer . What we have become with these cell phones. Her and I from the day being pregnant with our first born spent hours on the phone chatting and all through the yrs . Even spending at time 5 hrs on the phone .Today was nice . I’m hoping we are on the path of being connected again. It was nice to talk about everything but nothing and laugh for hours .

Where did the day go..

This day flew by as fast as the evening did it’s 10:00 at night as I write this . I was going to read but then got sidetracked on here so reading my book may wait another day. Nothing like getting on your phone to search something and before you know it your on everything else. Sitting in the living room with Miss Abigail country awards is blaring from the TV really not watching just listening to the bands as my hubby is asleep in bed .the kids are out as usual .. times have change no more curfews for my youngest now that he’s 18 my oldest has her own entrance into the house whenever she gets home. Now to say I do not worry a bit when their out would be a joke.. moms always worry . Trying though to be better about it . I know it’s only 10 , I could read but I know that will bring me to 2in the morning. I guess I will call it a night and settled into bed with my sleeping hubby and air conditioner. Good night everyone.

Learning..

No matter how old we get ,we are always learning . I must say I’m finding that even though my Son has graduated ..the drama with my sons friends parents…not all but most still can’t let go of the drama. I could blame social media but I can’t say it’s to blame … I have met some wonderful people and am happy to call them friends it’s just what you choose to do ,for instance Facebook I have many family members from out of State many local friends and many from a afar from other parts of the world that I love to connect with on Facebook , there’s just a few (locally ) that are a thorn in my side and make me want to shut my account down , these few act like we are still dealing with high school kids and have to get involved okay become nosey and start trouble … my son and I have always had a complicated relationship he never liked me to be that mom who was involved in every school activity , or his friends this was his world and I’m his mom not his friend now we get along much better since his graduation, do we have our moments oh yeah but we are both learning , but a few are so in their kids business it’s horrible , when I get on fb just to catch up with people I enjoy ,this one lady just has 20 questions of course about my son my life what she has what she’s doing what she’s getting I want to write in all upper case I DO NOT CARE! I know karma will bite me… but come on I do not need this . But I am learning , and letting it be okay to ignore change the subject when I get a message from her . So many people have said well just get off of Facebook , no I do not believe that is the answer well not for me. I’m learning just how I want to use it . If that was the case then I would drop every social media site … I love my Twitter all my soap fans are on there and we chat about our soap.I love my instagram because I can share special moment in pictures on it and see other parts of the world with my distant friends. I love my blogging because I can share my feeling my life and I have met some wonderful people that I also would like to call friends. So yes I’m learning how to now be on these sites with no more high school track pics .. no more coffee pics since I do not buy coffee out anymore. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ yes a learning experience and new chapter begin and please no drama๐Ÿ™‚

Give me strength …

it’s night time once again … happy that this week will soon be over and then April vacation begins on Monday for my son , yay!!!! He needs a break from all the drama at school and needs a break from people he thought was his friend best friend but sadly my son found out the hard way … my son holds trust and loyalty so high and now this kid who broke his trust will never see my son as a friend again . My son won’t let that happen.. why do people have no guilt in hurting others ? Life can be cruel in so many ways but I’m hoping in less then two months when he graduate he will see life in a different light . Yes not always easy but so worth looking to another day , new beginnings hopefully he will see a happier road in front of him . I pray that he will .

Yes being a teenager has its drama but it’s so different these days . The times have changed people not all but a lot are out for them self’s . I try I’ve taught my kids to be good people , but in this world like the saying goes … “nice guys finish last ” but just maybe being last isn’t so bad maybe its a good thing if your last then your not up there where all the hurtful disloyal people are ., yes… I try to find a silver lining out of everything .. one of my many faults ,hmm maybe but it keeps me hopeful that silver lining .. when I pray at night I always tell god it’s so hard down here why ? I wish he would answer maybe then I could find the answer the would be able to see that smile on my sons face more often , Or hear my daughter come home from work and tell me one time how nice a customer was to her then to hear how they complained over her not having something that they so needed that they had to be so hurtful about๐Ÿ™„ Really is this right? No ! Karma I want to say but with that make me any better then them … just hard being a parent hurt me I can take it but do not hurt my kids. Well on that note I will try to settle my mind down and let this humming of the fan hahaha yes gotta love this fan ๐Ÿ™‚ drift me off to sleep . Maybe hubby is snoring could be a long night ๐Ÿ˜‚