What people think..

I sit here thinking . Yes always thinking. The thoughts that run through my head are a bit different today then other days. I’m thinking about who I am . Me as a whole body and mind. And yes my faults well I call them that because I’m not perfect . Oh wait … what ? I’m not perfect? I’m not 6ft tall long legs young beautiful blond blue eyes . No! I am 4″11 slim but not long legs . I am not youthful . Hmm well that’s just so wrong. Do you see I’m 4″11 yes a child like size but good things come in small packages. So they say. , straight hair on some days and wild curly hair on other days yes it is what it is. I have dark hair as the night when not in the sun and brunette when I am. But I am me ! I smile everyday no matter what . And I laugh every chance I get . I love my coffee it’s my poison. Some say I drink too much I say it’s never enough. I love to have long conversations deep , silly or just random ones. I love to listen to people about their thoughts. It intrigues me. I do not like fake . I only do real so if your real and you respect me we will get along just fine. Now you ask why and if you are not asking why I’m telling you all this I’ll tell you anyways.

I do not like how people judge others to a point that you begin to question yourself . No one has that righties power over you to do that . Yes it’s hard not to let them . I know this as been going on for decades but today it’s getting to be too much. So many people are being judged for just being them. To me this is rude and so wrong . Our words can hurt people so deeply . And no as they say ” you can not take them back . Those harsh words judgements get imbedded in peoples souls especially the sensitive caring and loving ones . And can do so much damage . Thank you for them that they still exist. .. but if we keep doing what we are doing and judging people pointing out there imperfections well your idea of that they will not exist much longer. This world will just get more populated with unkind unhappy people yes unhappy . If you can hurt someone in this way then your not happy with yourself . Well to me that is sad. I wouldn’t want to be that person . So let’s think about it the next time we pick on someone. If their not hurting anyone leave them alone . But just stop hurting people. Life is too short. And precious we are all who we are . If we where all the same I believe it would be a very boring unhappy world.

Watching , thinking….

As I sat at the parking lot in the quietness of my car while my daughter went quickly into the store . The late evening was showing it’s arrival with the darkening sky the parking lot light came on. Setting a dim shadow across the parking lot . People walked in and out of the store . As I watched I could hear the echoing sounds from the outside the laughter and chatter of people . Some young girls holding on one another laughing to one another and zig zagging as they bumped into one another . There were some where they walked in alone smile on their face and a bounce in their footsteps looking like they found the key to life’s happiness. Then there was the people who walked alone at a slow unsure pace shoulders slouched and no smile upon their face. Maybe a bad day .. or just thinking? All I know is yes I was thinking .. always thinking. Sometimes we think we can perceive someone by their appearance their actions. Sometimes not But do we ever really know their story. Do we care ? Should we ? Yes I believe so . I think we should keep our eyes wide open . You never know when you will see someone’s actions for a cry for help , for a listening ear a shoulder to lean on. Just to care even if it lifts them up in that moment or day. If there is something their going through. And why should we be aware ? maybe one day we may need to have , Hope someone will notice our actions and ask if we need a shoulder to lean on.

Calm..

Woke this morning with a unsettled feeling. If I can even call it that . It’s really hard to define what I was feeling. I grabbed a quick shower then went and grabbed some coffee. Still feeling the unsettled ness .I tried to shake it off as just tiredness . I knew though it wasn’t that. I went about getting somethings done around the house. As the day went on I started go feel more at ease . By afternoon I felt better. I decided to go outside and absorb some sun in my face . Feel its warmth. It was such a beautiful day out. The sky could not have been any more blue then it was . Such a deep radiant blue. I just enjoyed the sun ,listening to the birds. And in the distance of the woods I could hear the acorns falling . All was peaceful.

A car pulled into the driveway. And my peace felt gone within seconds . My in-law aunts seem to arrive at our house . I do not mind company . I do welcome it but I like to know when someone wants to visit. I waited for them to come into the house .once inside things became strange. Well rude. Not on my part but theirs. They made rude remarks. at me because they didn’t like what I was saying. It wasn’ their way . Sadly these are two sisters who have never married and live together. I believe their not happy people unless they judge someone . I do not agree with this behavior . I have put up with it ever since I married. I am or for the most part kind to everyone as long as you are to me and my family if not I will not stand for it and yes it has got me In Trouble many times. I am a fighter I can get angry yes who wouldn’t when your verbally being attacked for no reason but being yourself. Yes I have change a lot over the yr. I have come to take care of me . I have come to realize there is a time when you had enough so yes . I speak my mind . But today was different. Something felt different. As they dished out the bad behavior . I stood there sipping on my tea. I replied with one maybe two words. I was so calm. I wasnt letting them get away with this if that’s what your thinking. I was just calm I had no will to fight there was no reason to . They were being rude. My daughter was amazed at my calm demeanor . And honestly I believe they where shocked the relatives . Because I had no come back .. no raised voice, I just kept excusing myself to walk away for a bit. My calmness amazes me. And the anger I would once feel when this happened. was not there. I was just calm. Luckily I thought of a away to makeup an excuse to get them to leave by telling them my daughter I had appointments to be at and we needed to go . Lucky my daughter caught on with what I was doing. So we acted like it was time to go . Thankfully they stood up from where they where sitting and head for the door. I told them to have a good day . And they were gone . I do not know what happened . The person standing there in that room with them just felt like it wasn’t me. (Haha) no I’m not crazy .. yet๐Ÿ˜‚ Its just a yr ago I would have been lashing back at them and giving them what they wanted . A reaction. But today I believe I shocked them with my calm demeanor . And it was like they inflated. All was quiet for many moments. And I felt fine. My daughter was impressed.

I will never understand why people have to hurt others why they get pleasure out of being rude to others. Maybe their really not happy with them self’s . Maybe their not as confidence as we think they are. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I really do not like to think bad of others.. Sadly I did use to judge. But now I see no point in it . It only hurts us to be so hurtful by that behavior. And turns us into angry people and I know I do not want to be that kind of person .

Another rainy Saturday…

It was long cold day of nothing… well if you want to call it that. I did go food shopping. So that got done but after that it was just Miss Abigail and I . Watching endless movies on HBO as the rain and wind echoed from the outside hitting against the living room window having Miss Abigail And I to look outside. time and time again.And for some reason on this gloomy day HBO seemed to play a lot of heartfelt movies well the ones that I happened to come upon. My husband went to an old childhood friends 50th birthday . I didn’t want to go let’s say the crowd his friend and wife connect with are not ones I want or would connect with .. easily stab you in the back figure of speech , and just can spend the whole day drinking .. okay my day day wasn’t anything special but I didn’t feel like sitting there for 7 hours and just drinking.. My husband came home fine said there was a lot of drinking and he just couldn’t had a few but that was about it.

Now he’s fast asleep and I’m laying here in the dark once again alone with my thoughts…. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong ? I question it. Because there were so many people there drinking having a good time . And I stayed home and yes after awhile I was bored and angry that my husband was having a good time or thinking he was .. but when he came home he said their was just so much drinking and people he couldn’t believe were actually his friends friends because his friend mostly stuck by my husband and two others the whole time. While his wife entertained them basically so I don’t know. I just do not like a crowed especially if I do not connect with them. My friend I talked to while my husband was gone for so long wasn’t thrilled that he was gone the amount of time . Said he should stay home all day and evening and see how it feels. See this is type ofmy friend group people who think that way .. so I don’t know. Maybe I’ve changed now that I’m older and drinking a hole day away is not in me. Hmm I just can’t figure out all this new way of being. Now tomorrow I’ll be home because my son should be able to finally call us from Basic . That I will not want to miss. . If I say he is given that chance . You never know with the Army. Or my son… I guess since it’s going on midnight I should try to get some sleep . Good night everyone.

Opinions ..

As I did things around the house ..the little bit of laundry I decided I should do , start the dishwasher , my daughter asked if I would like to go with her and grab Starbucks as I stated in my post this morning. Her car had its oil change it needed and then we enjoyed Starbuck lattes a perfect crisp cold fall day for a pumpkin spiced latte and some special time spent with my daughter it was nice hadn’t done this in awhile with her. Even though my daughter lives at home in the furnished basement she has her life to live too . So spending time with her ,moments I take advantage of whenever possible. So about the title of this post .. Opinions well I posted it on Facebook I haven’t been posting much on there lately plus I usually only post when something new or a special .. or a serious moment .. I posted about my son heading off to Basic Training if you read my recent posts .. I wrote about it on my blog , so I posted how my daughter and I enjoyed our day and enjoyed Starbucks and fine people have their opinions and Everyday people voice them whether on Facebook or many other social networks but for sometime I have had issues with Facebook friends … followers whatever you want to call them, I say it this way because I can’t say FB followers are all my friends I’ve had moments of some not nice opinions stated on my posts ” opinions “๐Ÿ™„ if you want to call it that I believe just plain rude people who are not happy with their own lives so they like to state rude sarcastic remarks . Call it freedom of speech if you may.. but I call it just plain immature and mean ..like I said I posted about Starbucks with my daughter and this follower had to comment something mean and sarcastic because they didn’t like Starbucks but why not just keep your opinion to yourself if you didn’t like it ..ignore it move on read something else .. no couldn’t do that . I could of commented back but knew this would only give this person what they wanted ..to start something ..so I’m going to just delete their comment and eventually delete them. Tired of people who are just mean, I know the world is made up of all kinds of people .. sadly … but doesn’t mean we have to listen to them. Deal with them .I wonder why our younger generation has become what they have when the adults in their life are acting like rude despiteful animals. What have we become ? I believe it getting worse everyday the hate in this world.is so unbelievable. I will not let anyone stop me from posting things that I find and know respectful and cherish moments with my family I will just delete them . To me it’s not about how many followers . It’s about writing .. writing about what is important to me . And the people that respect me and follow me and those who do not like what I write or post respect me enough not to like my posts or comment rude remarks I respect . Not everyone has to like or agree what all of us do on social media but we can be mature and respectful . I do not think that is too much to ask. Sad a beautiful moment post with my daughter had to be tarnished by a rude comment for everyone to see .

First day of Fall!

Today is the first day of Fall and it feels it . As Winnie The Pooh would say it’s a blustery day… the temps cool and crisp clean air coming through the open windows, making a hot cup of morning coffee taste so good. Not much to report the usual.Tomorrow I think we may go for a ride towards Vermont and see how the leaves are changing there .It was a food shopping day so my husband and I tackled the distaste task as quickly as possible. (Hahaha) yes that bad.. people in grocery stores are not one to mess with …people want their food. (hahaha) we went towards the middle of the day so my husband could work on the barn some more trying to get electricity out there. By the time we arrived home it was supper time . So that’s all done and cleaned up and it has just hit 7:00 in the evening and it’s just about dark outside. last week it was 7:30 . Soon it will be 5:30 , Also a cool night. My daughter is home down in her place resting with some hot tea nursing a cold . My sons out at a football game with a friend my husband is watching the baseball game . I think I will try finishing the book I’ve been reading on the last two chapters . Then I can start the book I bought when I was with my son. So time to put on the kettle for some hot water and make some tea and enjoy my book . Have a goodnight everyone.

Give me strength …

it’s night time once again … happy that this week will soon be over and then April vacation begins on Monday for my son , yay!!!! He needs a break from all the drama at school and needs a break from people he thought was his friend best friend but sadly my son found out the hard way … my son holds trust and loyalty so high and now this kid who broke his trust will never see my son as a friend again . My son won’t let that happen.. why do people have no guilt in hurting others ? Life can be cruel in so many ways but I’m hoping in less then two months when he graduate he will see life in a different light . Yes not always easy but so worth looking to another day , new beginnings hopefully he will see a happier road in front of him . I pray that he will .

Yes being a teenager has its drama but it’s so different these days . The times have changed people not all but a lot are out for them self’s . I try I’ve taught my kids to be good people , but in this world like the saying goes … “nice guys finish last ” but just maybe being last isn’t so bad maybe its a good thing if your last then your not up there where all the hurtful disloyal people are ., yes… I try to find a silver lining out of everything .. one of my many faults ,hmm maybe but it keeps me hopeful that silver lining .. when I pray at night I always tell god it’s so hard down here why ? I wish he would answer maybe then I could find the answer the would be able to see that smile on my sons face more often , Or hear my daughter come home from work and tell me one time how nice a customer was to her then to hear how they complained over her not having something that they so needed that they had to be so hurtful about๐Ÿ™„ Really is this right? No ! Karma I want to say but with that make me any better then them … just hard being a parent hurt me I can take it but do not hurt my kids. Well on that note I will try to settle my mind down and let this humming of the fan hahaha yes gotta love this fan ๐Ÿ™‚ drift me off to sleep . Maybe hubby is snoring could be a long night ๐Ÿ˜‚