I should of, but I didn’t, I stayed in today. I didn’t sleep late but took my time enjoying my morning coffee. And breakfast while chatting with my daughter. And then we both went about with taking care of things around the house. Fun stuff. Not. Then my daughter left with a friend for a bit, and I turned on my music. Nice and loud. Such release music is to me. Yes, I sang at the top of my lungs (hahaha). No one was home. Why not🤷♀️ and yes it made me smile. I have this quote of the day that is sent to my email every morning. I loved what the quote was this morning. So fitting, I must admit. I’m going to keep smiling and try not to let my negative thoughts get the best of me. And this season. The big word is to try. I will keep moving forward and smile and laugh. And not let things get me down. I will not let negativity define me. Yes, there are always going to be those days, but they do not have to be every day. I use to laugh every day. It’s time to be that person again. Be the person I was meant to be. Strong happy, and not be afraid to be me. Will I get judgment most likely because not everyone in my world is this way? Yes, sadly, it’s true. I need not to let my surroundings affect me. Yes, there is time for seriousness, but to be too serious is not good. And if members in my home space cannot share this with me, then I will do it on my own or find people who will share this with me. And yes, this has been my struggle. Sometimes when you try or do to change yourself, to be healthier happier. This threatens some. And they are not willing though to follow along but seem to go the opposite. And the saying is right. You cannot change someone. Even if it’s to make things better, .you can only take care of yourself. Life is too short for me to let anyone stop me. So I ask you to bear with me. I may have my moments. But I am accepting to any advice. Yes, this may be too much of a personal subject on here, but this is what makes me feel good writing and sharing how I feel. It helps me.
As I take a deep breath and I begin to type my fingers feel like they’re fumbling over the keyboard, my heart is heavy and I am so far writing this without tears in my eyes, but give me time the tears will fall soon as they have been on and off all week. Dec 2nd was the last time I had wrote anything, my last post was about counting my blessings and I was on day 2 the day my best friend, unconditionally by my side and so very loved by my family, the protector and rascal and just sometimes a handful I swear he was a person in his past life 🙂 and so embedded in our hearts for the last 6 years and so very loved our beloved pups took a turn for the worse and we had to say goodbye to him. This was the the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do. I know Oakland or to us Oakie is in a better place with no more suffering and no more worries though. My husband and son did a beautiful job with tears in their eyes with finding a perfect place on out property over looking his home in his roaming place and in the sunlight and now he has gone over the rainbow bridge and I am hoping it’s just as bright and sunny and warm and he is running in green grass with all the beloved other pets that have passed and he is happy and barking and playing and he will suffer no more with his issues he had come to us with . We called him 0ur pups his first 3 years of life were not happy ones but his last years were happy because we saved him, we tried to erase the miseries his first owners put upon him. They where not nice and he was not able to be a happy, loved dog. I do not believe he knew what love was until he came home with us, he was haunted by anxiety and trust issues and was not a dog who took well to visitors he would bark and growl until he felt you were to be trusted .. if you were lucky, he did love his sister which I would say a sister from another mother, my daughter loved that and always got a good laugh out of that because his sister is my daughter’s cat that she had brought home 3 yrs ago as a kitten and they became fast playmates and good company to one another when we all had to go out. I know Miss Abigail misses him so much and she finds it just as quiet as we do everyday this week or I should say it will be as of tomorrow Sunday , she roams through our house looking under things, around things for him before she finally settles down sometime I find her staring off in one direction or another then sprinting like she is spooked. I want to believe she feels him and she is chasing him, yes I do believe that is possible, why not? what does it hurt? He may have been a challenge but to us and Miss Abigail he was faithful cuddly and loving. Yes, each day was a new challenge, but we made it through because we believed as long as we loved him that was all that mattered to him and us and he will never be forgotten. He will be missed, so missed. Every part of our house and life has a memory of him. So my Pups, Mama loves you, Daddy loves you, Jamie loves you, Seth loves you and Abigail loves you and I hope you know know that. It took me until today to write this because it was just too painful to say good bye to you on here where there are several photos and posts about you and knowing I won’t be posting about you. Well, maybe not, I will post memories .. and I want to thank my followers who loved my photo Monday of him from about two Mondays ago. Rest in peace, my Pups.