Strange..,

Happy Halloween everyone . I hope all of you have a fun and safe one. Not much happening my way . Adult kids and too far out for trick or treaters just another day here. I have a food service truck that comes out every other Thursday . They sell all kinds of food .The guy comes to your door and asks what you would like . I usually do frozen yogurt some veggies, some meat products .. etc well the man that has our route has been coming here for yrs. and we chit chat for a bit . Today thorough me a bit off balance . Actually let me go back a bit … sense this past summer I have been really getting back into my music. I love to sing and yes as loud as I can when I’m home alone doing things around the house and in my car as well. . It’s a stress reliever . I have always loved music . Well I’ve been enjoying it more and more everyday. I have a pretty good playlist going . On my chrome book and phone. This is where now I come back to my food service man. As he was leaving he turned back towards me and asked if I had an iPhone and asked if I ever go on Apple play. I said yes I did but no I have Spotify . He chuckled and told me his son did too. And that I needed to try the free trial on Apple because the music you can download is out of this world. He went on explaining to me how he downloaded so many songs that he was so happy and enjoys so much all his type of music from his era. I just stood there looking at him in shock. I believe he didn’t notice because he just kept on talking. He kept saying you have to try it and it wasn’t like he was promoting it he just was amazed at the variety . After he left I just stood at the counter in awe for a bit . Music has been such a part of my life lately and for him to just randomly talk about music with me was unusual . I know your probably thinking oh it was just random he brought this up. Honestly I felt like he was tapping into some kind of vibe off me. I wondered if he brought it up to other customers. And no there was no music or has been when he has been here. This is why I am a bit amazed I guess is the word. My life lately has been surrounded by a lot of signs so this just felt like another one but the food service man . 🙄 trying to figure this one out . Such a strange conversation to have with him.

Signs…

It’s close to noon on a beautiful Bright Sunday . I’m am just sitting enjoying my first cup of coffee. Yes a bit late , lazy morning. For all of you who read my post ,if you haven’t read it this will not make sense . Yesterday as I posted started at 6 in the morning .. (early for me ). And a good start I was sore but I was full of positivity . I was going to do what I needed .. could do . I did but as the day went on and people came and went and I became a bit more sore . The pity party struck me. I wanted to go places be active my energy level was so high but my body said no . I may have pushed it a bit more then I was told . Sadly I’m not one to be told what to do . And I dislike to be held back . I’m a fighter . I do . Hmm I wonder where my kids get this attitude. So yes as the day progressed . Pity turned into anger. Once again I so do not like to get angry because I do not often take it out on people but on myself . But you can still feel the vibe if your in my presence .

In a blink of an eye the signs came to light first it started with my daughter sending me a text on her work break. She rarely drinks Coca Cola and she grabbed a bottle without looking at it she went to sit and drink it . On the bottles some have random names on them . She texted me a pick of the bottle she wrote under I just noticed this mom look at the name . In huge letters was Francis . I was in awe I couldn’t believe it but a smile came over my face . It was my Dad’s name rare name especially on a soda bottle and when I was at a low point and my daughter having some bad days herself there he was showing us he was near . When he was sick he said he would always be there . My daughter was the last grandchild he saw born . She was 6 months when he passed . He loved her so much and told her one day as he was holding her ” this will be your world enjoy it be strong” sorry tears but happy ones are forming in my eyes. He told me to ” let him go to say goodbye before he got worse “he didn’t want me to watch him die. He said” enjoy your beautiful little girl focus on her love her be happy” so I did what he asked. It’s been unbelievably 24 yrs and I know he still sends me signs especially when I am down . He was showing us he was still with us. Some can be skeptical but I believe that was not random the name on the bottle.

Second sign but this happen to a my friend of mine . she was telling me about it yesterday as well . A ring she loved and wore constantly she lost months ago she’s a nurse so she thought it came off in one of the gloves she has to wear she looked every where as well for it no luck. She was cleaning her bedroom and she said she looked down on her dresser where she had a little basket that held her favorite rings . And there did she notice sitting on top of the others was the ring . She said she was so dumbfounded said she looked through it many times even grabbed other ring from it and it was not there . She asked all her family members if they found it and put it there . They told her they never saw or new it was missing so no. I said to her ” you do know what month it is”? She was silent for a moment I asked if she was still there? She said ” oh my Kim do you think” I told her yes . Her only and younger sister passed away 3 yrs ago of this month next week it will actually be 3 yrs . I am such a believer in all of this . I feel this so deeply. So I do believe she had a part in this . Okay last sign and yes a long post this is. My son came home while I was up watching a movie at midnight he was with friends all day . He told me how one of his friends had a bad day . Bad day is not the word I would use. He showed me a photo it was a car his mother handed down to him when she bought a new one , he only had it 3months … coming home from college for the long weekend with his girlfriend they were hit by a guy who was weaving in and out of the passing lanes and speeding on the highway.He hit him my sons friends car flipped twice and the suv not car was completely gone the photo showed pieces of the car all over the road . Him and his girlfriend walked away from it without a scratch . Yes a bit shaken up but good . People showing at the scene couldn’t believe it , this could , should had killed or at least hurt them . But nothing and thankful for that . Not their time. I do believe So after my son went to bed I sat there in the dark and silence andI told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself that there is so much worse things in life and this is just a little set back and that life is a gift , and we need to honor this gift whether it’s a love one guiding us that has moved on from this world or an experience of an accident we need to get up be thankful smile , be happy and stay strong . Life is not easy by any means but it’s so worth it.think about that as you go along with your day.🙂

Ahh end of the week!

It’s Friday and yes another rainy day but it’s warm in the 60’s could possibly get to the mid 70’s I wish we would get a thunderstorm love them , My hubby NOT !hahaha you know how a dog runs or goes from one window to another looking out in anticipation of something or someone outside well that is pretty much my hubby. While I tend to just sit and watch 😂 possibly on Sat their predicting we could get one. I’m sitting here enjoying my coffee and the quietness. My daughter still sleeping as Miss Abigail is too . My son off to his second day of work at the restaurant/ pub. He’s enjoying it . A Long day to day, 11:30 to 9 .

Last night I watched my hubby and I’ s favorite show . Seal Team . Then we settled in bed he went to sleep I read . Let’s just say I should of just kept reading until I finished it ..I was up thinking about it. I’m about 3 chapters to finishing it. Last night as I was reading we had the window open a bit since the house felt stuffy there was a slight breeze so it kept blowing in the fresh outside air . It was strange I t blew in for one moment a cigarette smoke scent. I really can’t say why or who because my kids were not home it was around 10 at night and they don’t smoke . And my neighbors are not that close to us for the breeze to carry it . So that was eerie … I thought oh maybe my dad was thinking of me .. no I’m not loosing it . Ever since my dad passed I have smelled smoke off and on most times it’s been when I’m having a hard day so I don’t know .. it’s strange when you see signs at times of a love one . I would rather think that is what it was then someone lurking around in our woods. A bit after that my son arrived home and we chatted for a bit , him telling me about his first night of work. Then went to settle as I did well tried . 🙄 now its time to get this day done started some laundry in between writing this … yes multitasking . I see sun hmm it’s possible we could see a thunderstorm! They say sun coming out a bit with rain coming in is a perfect recipe for a storm. Well time to get this day done .

Oh the signs..

Well sitting down at noon drinking my first cup of coffee and listening to all the ridiculous news .. yes ridiculous . What is wrong with society ? Anyways not what I really want to talk about.. what would we gain if we did… the house is quiet as I enjoy my coffee but the signs of a full house is everywhere. My sons hats two to be exact hanging off the kitchen chairs a sure sign of my son being back. My daughters coat hanging on the other chair that’s a new one. The kitchen sink full with dishes ..when I know that it was empty when I went to bed. Oh a big one an empty roll of toilet paper still in place on toilet holder.. yes one of my pet peeves 🙄 BUT would I change this for the world? No! Okay maybe a bit (hahaha) I cleaned the kitchen .. now until round two.. soon very soon my son will be back from the gym and ready for lunch and that he will clean up . Dishes will find their way into the dishwasher with his own hands. it will be supper prep soon as well . oh where did this day go! Oh I know … I guess laying in bed all morning and then enjoying a warm shower may have cause this.. after thinking I would get to bed earlier . I read until after midnight again and still haven’t finished the book. Then trying to sleep after was a bit hard . I kept trying to figure the ending of it. It’s a crazy cycle I’m on . This time change has thrown me for a loop. Plus the bit of Spring fever does not help. Oh the days of summer vacation when for just a season the world felt like it stopped because the kids were on vacation and we had the days of summer to get off the routine of busy morning school schedules, sport practices, just lazy days and no place to be unless we wanted to be. Now it feels as I’m the only one who is staying in place and I’m on a vacation if you want to call it that . Since being on disability. I’m home more then anyone. yes I do the bare minimum of things in the house some days are better then others ,if I do too much or in repetition you see what happens when I wrote about my sciatic pain . It’s a juggling act of what I can put my energy towards and to keep my muscles active. I think that’s why I am so happy I was able to do all the things with my kids when they were growing up and my body was able. And now their adults and do not need me to do anything for them it’s funny now they do for me which at times is hard to bare … I guess call it pride. I have learned what is important. It’s the time spent the laughter . Even if it’s in moments .. minutes, seconds . It’s just hard at times when everyone is busy with work , friends , life and I just sit here and watch. I’m always watching . (It’s hard especially when I can see my family running themselves ragged and my kids making choices that are not good but know I can’t tell them what to do .)but some days it’s not . See that’s what I do . I go back and forth and at times when everything is done and fine and I spend time.. hour hours reading , blogging which has been the best thing I’ve discovered . 🙂 or I stay up late reading and sleep in because I do not need to do the 6:00 wake up time .I feel this guilt. It’s probably silly .. my daughter told me it was wrong to feel this way . I’ve told her how I feel . She said I’ve done my job . To relax and enjoy what I’m doing. I guess I’m opening up on here because I feel when I write it’s the same ol … but that’s just how it is especially in the winters everything I see from my house my front deck . 🙄 so I thank all of you who follow my blog and read my posts especially my faithful readers I call friends. You make this new chapter in my life feel like something when you read my posts.🙂

Ahh signs of Spring.

Yes their predicting snow our way tonight … the good thing is they have lowered the amounts we are getting oh I hope their right . 3 to 5 inches …okay doable .. then the time it was suppose to start snowing keeps being pushed forward it was first 5 pm then 7 now it’s 8 pm. Okay this is not the sign of Spring … it’s these guys the top photo there is 4 turkeys their a bit camouflagedand their not little anymore. I believe their bigger then Miss Abigail and she knows it. She was watching them walk all around the back yard through the window . Her eyes so big. I was in my bedroom putting a few things away when out of the corner of my eye I saw out the window these guys walking by. Such a nice sign . Now they will be here in the mornings then the evenings until Fall. Love that their back, love seeing them. They have been doing this routine for the last two yrs . Last year there was babies which I believe these are the babies hopefully we will see some babies. . Will see. Supper is done and cleaned upI made Homemade Mac and cheese didn’t think I would like the orange sharp cheddar ,that’s all our local store had that wasn’t outrageously priced. I figured I would try it. Not bad, hubby liked it . Now I’m going to settle in read my book and get to bed hopefully earlier tonight . Miss Abigail kept us up jumping on my hubby scratching the bed then our window shade until my hubby brought her downstairs to her and my daughters place .My daughter out with her boyfriend texting me back at 1 when I texted her at ll:00 that she was downstairs watch when she came in. 😭 after that I had a hard time settling in with a good sleep with strange dreams .. so tonights goal is to read now then bed at 9 .🙂

Sigh…

Today was  a day full of unexpected surprises for instance as I was enjoying my morning coffee I was looking to see what was treading on Twitter , yes I’m a twitter fan  so I came up on an an article that was  saying how there was an attacking squirrel in one of the New York Parks and it attacked 5 people I was shocked . Any how I  signed out and started laundry and Then proceeded into the living room to tidy up things you know always something needs to be picked up.or wiped down. I heard a clunk and then a persistent tapping my daughters friend heard it as well so we started looking around  first we thought it was the washing machine … nope ok well we then found it and it was looking right at us on top of my deck chairs a squirrel and it was literally  pressed to my window that doesn’t have a screen luckily we do not open that side . Well it was tapping with it’s claws at my window then jumped into it and got back up on chair and was staring at us again it all happened so fast , her and I screamed and the thing ran up on to the deck railing along it stopped and stared at us . My daughters friend screamed shut the door before it comes through the screen oh I did …. we just stood there looking at one another and I thought of that darn article …and wondered what the heck is wrong with these squirrels so   crazy  thankfully he hasn’t been back , after things where done and supper started I turned on a channel that one of my oldie but goodies  80″s show came on 7th Heaven haven’t seen this showing since the end of winter I was happy ! The ironic thing it was an episode of the kids growing up and the parents seeing through their eyes them as children but then it brings them back to being older and the parents are seeing that they need to let go . Hmmm what I have been struggling with can you say sign? Now if you asked my son he would argue that he does not believe in signs or superstitions okay some superstitions I don’t but signs YES! What do you think do you believe in signs? Let me know. Time to go and have some supper. 

New Years Eve!

Happy New Years Everyone I hope everyone has safe and happy one. I am going to sit back eat  some   Chinese Food and  enjoy some glasses of wine and reflect on this past year and what a year it was so many unimaginable losses but at the same time many new happy experiences  My Son making it too Junior Olympics in Sacramento California for a week He got his drivers learners permit.  ,, but then like I said many unimaginable losses, life loves doing that to us   never a dull moment but I guess it’s away to keep us on our toes which to me is a bad joke. I am so ready to say goodbye to this year but not what I am leaving behind with it ..my beautiful pup bitter sweet had him for 6 beautiful yrs  and lost him this year the beginning of this month. but in my heart I will carry him into the New Year but hopefully the sadness of his loss doesn’t follow but Gives me the chance to bring in the beautiful and so many of beautiful memories of him and when I think of him in 2017 I want to smile not tear up….will see easier said then done .Something strange happen tonight we put up our  our tree and its been up for about three weeks so tonight on the last night it will be up the lights are blinking now .okay to me its just strange and actually my husband was puzzled by it.. okay I believe in signs so it puzzles me some say ahh it just happens but on New Years Eve well that’s timing . what do You think?  Well time for Chinese and wine everyone enjoy and stay safe .

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