I have been MIA..

It’s only been 3 days since I have posted but it seems so much longer than that but when your feeling under the weather the last 3 days it feels like a lifetime. I have been fighting or trying to fight what was coming on for about a week now. And Thursday night I had no choice but to surrender. , I have been off and on the couch through the day then by 4 in the afternoon, I spiral down and then Tylenol, tea Chromebook, and the couch become my best friends oh I can’t forget my country music softly playing in the background. It’s been relaxing falling to sleep to it. It occupies my mind from the discomfort of body aches I chuckle when I’m laying here in the dark falling asleep to it because it brings back a youthful moment in life when I was a teenager back home in my bedroom in the dark with my stereo playing love songs or rock music and feeling less weight on my shoulders life was simple no worries no thoughts running endlessly through my mind making my shoulders feel the weight they feel on them now. So even feeling under the weather I believe it’s given me a mental break of reflecting back to some moments that were comforting and no answers to look for. Just music and drifting off into a deep dream sleep. January is a hard month even though it’s been 24 yrs that my dad passed I still remember that dreadful time and day he said goodbye to me. You do not forget something like that. And with all the changes my life, myself have been going through I wish he was here to give me the answers to the questions I have. So these moments of youthfulness just listening to music while I sleep is so soothing.

Now for this sickness it’s been miserable . I am not one to be down . Tonight though feeling a bit more like myself enjoying some London Fog at first I thought it may keep me up but I do not believe it will at the moment with the tea and music I’m feeling very relaxed . Will see.

Give me strength …

it’s night time once again … happy that this week will soon be over and then April vacation begins on Monday for my son , yay!!!! He needs a break from all the drama at school and needs a break from people he thought was his friend best friend but sadly my son found out the hard way … my son holds trust and loyalty so high and now this kid who broke his trust will never see my son as a friend again . My son won’t let that happen.. why do people have no guilt in hurting others ? Life can be cruel in so many ways but I’m hoping in less then two months when he graduate he will see life in a different light . Yes not always easy but so worth looking to another day , new beginnings hopefully he will see a happier road in front of him . I pray that he will .

Yes being a teenager has its drama but it’s so different these days . The times have changed people not all but a lot are out for them self’s . I try I’ve taught my kids to be good people , but in this world like the saying goes … “nice guys finish last ” but just maybe being last isn’t so bad maybe its a good thing if your last then your not up there where all the hurtful disloyal people are ., yes… I try to find a silver lining out of everything .. one of my many faults ,hmm maybe but it keeps me hopeful that silver lining .. when I pray at night I always tell god it’s so hard down here why ? I wish he would answer maybe then I could find the answer the would be able to see that smile on my sons face more often , Or hear my daughter come home from work and tell me one time how nice a customer was to her then to hear how they complained over her not having something that they so needed that they had to be so hurtful about🙄 Really is this right? No ! Karma I want to say but with that make me any better then them … just hard being a parent hurt me I can take it but do not hurt my kids. Well on that note I will try to settle my mind down and let this humming of the fan hahaha yes gotta love this fan 🙂 drift me off to sleep . Maybe hubby is snoring could be a long night 😂

Long Day….

A very long mentally exhausting day… moments on the phone dealing with financial aide and figuring out life that isn’t talking about my life but my sons …. yes defiantly something wrong with this picture …. be 17 and you think the world is yours hmm ..and things will just magically happened ….. NOT! ..Oh to be 17 and have your head in the clouds ….help! So yeah it got better towards night time when I’m trying to fix supper and my son in his mood comes home and throws a pkg of Hamburg on the stove to open and cook but the problem is the burner is still on because I’m still using it yeah the house filled with smoke I grabbed it but not fast enough the fire alarms are touchy but yeah there was smoke so they went off screaming through the house having Miss Abigail run for cover, my hubby running around and opening windows as my son stood there doing the blame game with me …oh boy let’s just say that didn’t last long I shut down and just glared when I do.not speak you know I’m done .. he just kept staring at me while we all finally sat at the table eating.. I have still said nothing even in his return from the gym.. I’m in my bed settling my mind or trying .. and flying the defeat flag tonight . Just tonight …

Moments!

Oh how I love the laughter! I believe there is 6 teenagers crammed in my sons room ones a girl but all good her brothers here too her brother is my sons good track buddy who is now in his 2nd yr of college and his sister is graduating with my son. they all showed up to ransack my kitchen making food and to hang out . Ahh love nights like this as long and little it lasts I’ll take it. Basically when the food runs out 🙂 my hubby and I are in the living room watching our shows . I know as much as my son was tired and wanted to rest for his race tomorrow I think he is happy that their all here . We are too 🙂 it’s a nice Friday night.

Saturday’s ….

This day is going by fast … woke to the sound of the wind doing havoc outside to the trees . It’s making for a cold day. So good day for food shopping and grabbing a coffee . Happy that is done nothing I hate more is food shopping. People are so rude in a grocery store have you ever notice that? I guess it’s probably because they hate it as much as I do 🙂 but I am nice until you hit my carriage … yes this has happened many times. People trying to get around you and you do not notice so instead of saying excuse me they hit my carriage with theirs . Hmm then that’s when I’m done and I want out of there .

Thankfully Home until I walk into complete kitchen mayhem ..I know I had clean when my hubby and I left… dishes everywhere . My son can cook and cook good but lacks the ambition to cleanup after ughh . My daughter just sitting at the table on her phone just getting up .. oh my what have we created🙄 kitchen”s clean groceries put away and now enjoying my coffee, hubby laying down feeling a bit under the weather. So it’s most likely going to be a quiet day ,my son is at the gym and happy for the moment we are so confused ..the friend my hubby and daughter and i thought was dating his ex was over last night hanging with several other boys that where hanging with my son . And my son was getting along great with him … Teenagers …. sadly I can’t ask because my resource comes from a mother of a girl my son is good friends with and I only talk to her on Facebook . So when we are talking Facebook ughh it’s the drama I so try to stay clear of you know the warning signs when the chat starts with so I heard .. yeah that’s when you know it’s time you write back saying oh someone’s at my door gotta go. No I got suckered in heard all these things then she ends it with don’t say anything to your son I’m not sure if he knows or if that’s going on… why! Social media sometimes can be so troubling and now we are all trying to figure it out by the way he acts or what he says this should not be like a puzzle but at the same time I can’t ask him by going off of hear say. Thanks social media . My gut instinct says do not ask so I’m going to go with that , it’s usually is right , I will keep an eye on him. If my instinct tells me to ask then I will…parenting…. well time to get some other things done and hope for a quiet happy day and no tree’s coming down from this wind. 🙂

Ahhh…Friday!

Yes it’s Friday …same ol for me the usual laundry dishes prep for supper and yes a quiet house for the moment. I am only happy about it because it gives my son two days away from school . It’s been a long horrible week in the eyes of a 17 year old and okay his parents as well having to see is sadness and feel is wrath…not fun, Girls …..What I hear is only through certain resources so I do not know the whole story but knowing this girl who has been off and on in his life for 4 yrs and played games I cant even imagine when I was 17 is  just shocking ,then his best friend breaking the bro rule we all know what that is …well once again in my day there was one you know don’t date your best friends ex .. I would not want to be a teen in this day in age, so its been a long week my resource tells me that their not sure if their dating or if so if my son knows ..well live with him and you may get the idea he knows banging doors and for him taking a lot of runs , yes he is in training Spring track and field starts Monday. …but he is doing a lot more running which is always been amazing release for him.

Thankfully being Friday he woke up and actually talked with my daughter and I while eating breakfast before school. I’m just afraid it will change by the time hes home this afternoon after school . Ready for him to graduate and see how different life is and he will not have to see her.  sadly we still have to get through a prom which he said he didn’t want to go to which is fine with me . His friends are trying to set him up with girls to go with ,will see. I know there is worse things in life but when your 17 its the worse thing in life sadly. yes we have all been there but its so hard when you become a parent and you feel their pain.  being a parent is not easy and really do believe in this day in age its a lot harder.well need to make a late lunch have a great day everyone. I’m hoping for one.

More snow coming😥

More snow coming their predicting 6to 9 inches plus a mix of freezing rain . Schools are already cancelled for tomorrow , my son is at a friends house in town so he is closer to school because he still has track practice ,I know it’s Championships Friday but really they know what they need to do , he needs a break. My daughter will or I should say may be home because work will be slow so she is going in on Friday which would of been her day off. The photo I posted was this evenings sky it defiantly looks like a storm is coming ,I thought it was pretty so I captured it before it got dark. I love the evening skies . ..any chance I can get a photo I do . Well it’s getting late I guess I will settle and try to get some sleep early for a change . My daughter is down in her place with Miss Abigail for the night hubby’s sleeping away . So I will say my prayers and whisper a good night to my son hope he feels the vibe hahaha I could text him but you never know how he will feel about that if his mom is texting to say good night with his friends around😂 teenagers❤️