Wondering why..

the evening is here and no sunset the clouds moved in hiding away the sun . So I saw this photo and thought it was soothing. I’m sitting here watching the news and shaking my head …. why are things the way they are ?why do things feel so upside down ? why do we believe we are making this a better world with all our protesting for this or that . When all I see is when I was back in high school except worse, and we are forming sad hurtful cliques . But the cliques are about us all agreeing with one another having none of our own opinions likes ..well we can but it will come with a price .. lashing back with harsh words , violence, yes this is our better world this is making progress .. hmm do you see it. Shaking my head I wonder what my parents would of thought of all this if they where still here. I’m sure their looking down from the heavens above and shaking their heads too. This new generation has some things a bit mixed up. We need more love more kindness … more morals and more fairness and so much less judgement. And hate We need to be able to respect what others believe in even if we do not agree ,without worrying about the consequence . Can we ? Maybe someday. Just maybe ….

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The whys….

Its been a long week and it’s only Monday… going to be a long week until Friday . It’s Feb vacation for school and it’s the vacation I never could understand .. The weather is rainy or snowy but then melts and sadly it’s a week of no money the week before when you get paid every other week …. My son is going out of his mind it’s the evening he came straight home after practice ate and planted himself on his bed in the dark . Im helping him  to a point for necessities but it’s a no pay week for us as well and when your on a budget you do what you have to do.plus he found out his car that we thought was in great condition has some issues so tomorrow it goes to the garage to see how bad even though I’m a bit nervous I told him will deal with it you can use mine ,so not a good time  I know there is worst things in life then no money …car issues again  but  sadly there  are times like this ,been here before its just sad it comes at a time that is not conveniant but when is it?  This generation cannot deal with it . . Back in my day yes things where cheaper , cars fell apart we delt with it we had to get creative to occupy our time with our friends sitting at a friends( even if they picked us up )house watching movies back in my day it was music videos on mtv  and snacks and a bunch of laughs when we had no money . This day in age it’s go out to eat go to the movies eat out oh did I just say that hahahaha yes I know I did but this is all they know what to do….so frustrating  let’s see my son is home in his room laying there on his bed with phone in hand looking like he lost his best friend.. I ask him where are his friend home ok and this friend home hmm so their all sitting at home because no Money  so I to say to him cheer up soon you will get paid  we all have days months like this I told him sadly look at the alternative as my gaze goes to the nightly news talking about the school shooting and so heartbreaking families burying thier  love ones such an unfair tragedy . My son looks at the tv and says I know I understand believe  me. I know he does know life is more about money but sadly our minds are programmed that money makes us happy ….ok yes it does  it makes things easier to a point but it’s also a nuisance when we don’t have any it sets our mood …just so wrong we know life is much more then that.

I go into his room and  suggest ask a friend to spend the night he says to me I’m okay I’ll be fine now this is different usually he would bark at me  but he says it  nicly I say do you have a book you need to read for school read it take your mind off things he smirks at me I should know who I’m talking too that would be what my daughter would do not him haha and then I see his phone light up he smiles , laughs and I pat him on his arm and walk out of the room he looks at me say what was that for . I just smile back and say I’m happy I see a smile on your face.even though it was technology  helping him connect to a friend . Now if we can just focus on the positive now I’m smirking ME positive hmm not a trait I do well, sadly when  Life and it’s moments have made me this way  it’s not always what we asked for and I have learned this along time ago and more in the past year and it’s just really hard and I’m not talking about money ..life is hard it’s just trying to find the way through it  .. To the beautiful part of it as well..and there is a lot of beautiful moments it’s just with everything that has happened and the world filled with so much more of worrysome things that just prooves to us shows us  not to take anyone or anything for granted .  Be grateful and take life one day at a time is how I get through it❤️