Why not…

Been a very laid back Friday! Not complaining whatsoever! I woke to a bright sunny day . Grabbed a quick shower then Headed straight to the coffee pot. It was Bill day and not wanting to jump into it I turned on the Wendy Show and enjoyed some laughter with my coffee. I really love her humor . Minutes later my son found his way to the kitchen stating he was going for a ride on his bike . I was happy it freed up my car I have been generously sharing with him all summer. I told him to lockup when he left I was heading in to town to do some errands. Well… when the the turn arrived came that heads into town , last minute I decided I would keep going straight. I wasn’t ready to run those errands as well . It felt nice to be out of the house in my car no rush to get back home I decided to just drive .., I turned the radio up and just drove and thinked . It was nice to be alone enjoying what I like to do driving and listening to music. I use to do it all the time … but became too logical … where would I go how much gas I was wasting, but today I let the logic fly out the open car window . And enjoyed. Such a simple a pleasure why should I take that away . My kids are grown I really have no reason to rush home so why not. And no if your thinking I’m not having a mid life crises. (Hahaha) I just wanted some “me time” outside of the house . After two and a half hours later with postoffice and bank run accomplished , I arrived home . Hubby home from work . Fridays is his early day , my son cooking himself food , my daughter getting ready for work all was well . No one missed me. It was a nice feeling. Now it’s already 9 at night . Hubby watching baseball . I’m just writing. And it’s totally dark out now. Feeling content . With that I guess I will settle. Have a great night everyone🙂

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Randomness ….

It’s Tuesday night a little after 8 and its already getting dark. I know the last several posts I have stated this. I guess it’s just unbelievable to me.  A long lazy summers just seems not  to  be that way anymore …every summer they just go by a bit faster. Football is being talked about more . Back to school shopping is showing up everywhere from TV commercials to stores stocking up on school supplies. College dorm essentials . My son is doing pretty good with that… soon he will be away and my front door opening and closing will get a little break. Mom will get her car back on a regular basis and the bike will be stored away in the barn. All will be calm and quiet….. hmmm something I am looking forward to a bit….Okay maybe not (hahaha) Oh its a mother’s problem . I am sure he is ready for a change.  I just looked out and it’s 8:30 and its completely dark out. There is no fire fly’s lightening up the darkness. At least the humming of the air conditioner is gone for now ,windows are open soon Miss Abigail will figure this out and find her way to an open window. Ahh the  breeze gently blowing in from the windows is beautiful. surprisingly there is a bit  of a chill to it. Such extreme this weather is .The air smells fresh and clean for once. If it wasn’t 8:30 at night I honestly could enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee . I can just smell it’s aroma ….not good to think about or I will not be sleeping tonight…  Well I think It’s time to read a bit before I call it a night.Have a great night everyone And If you enjoyed my random thoughts tonight thank you!

Give me some time…

Hi everyone ! I have not posted on here in about 5 days which for me is a long time. My mind has been too preoccupied to write and not something I cannot really put into words … ( hahaha) it’s a matter of over thinking and being a mom who yes over thinks. 🙄 I will keep reading yours tho and commenting on your posts . I will be posting soon I Just need to learn the art of letting things go and learn worrying and overthinking does no good for anyone. Sadly being a mom we are all very good at that. Unless your one of the lucky ones who have masterc this art of letting go and letting things just be. I know eventually I will exhaust myself in doing so and then may be able to conquer this new chapter in my life. I will be posting soon . Please just be patient with me 🙂

Mystery , Message…

Sitting under my tree , happy place today deck needing more work then we expected… the sun is out and there is a beautiful breeze . A quiet day . My daughter is headed to work. My son coming home this evening after an over night orientation at the college he will be attending this Fall. That said I am taking in a moment and doing nothing … as I sit here my mind keeps reflecting back to a mystery this past week .. as You know if your a regular follower or just reading my post . I live in a peaceful quiet wooded area in the country where our driveway is more of a country road . So trees surrounding our home , during the day all you hear is the wind , the birds, and the comings and goings of my kids and their friends. So this was a surprise when I open my kitchen door this past week and found this beautiful item

Outside the door laying on the railing. I asked my son who was just arriving home from his morning run if he had placed it there ?he replied no asking if maybe dad had found it and put it there before work . Puzzled I sent my husband a picture and asked . He replied several minutes later no he didn’t and that he had never seen it before. And thought maybe our daughter. When my daughter woke I asked her and the same reply no not me. Okay now I was really in dismay …. relatives never just show up out here so I didn’t think it was any of them but I called around anyways and same reply no I did not. It’s been a week and this butterfly sits in my planter within my flowers . And there is no answers to where or how his came upon our door step . Do I find it beautiful ? Yes . .. does it make me wonder where this came from ? Yes.. does it bother me this un known mystery yes.. what do you think a message perhaps a sign ? I would love to know .

Memorial Day ..not the Same…

Outside my door the winds have calmed the storms have passed ..for now. Settled in last night with my new book . After about 45 mins later I put my book down and shut the light off. It wasn’t that the book wasn’t good it was . I just wanted to lay there in the darkness and watch the flash of the lighting and hear the roll of the thunder . Love nighttime storms. As the storm came through flashing shadows on my wall I laid there taking it in thinking about the Memorial Day weekend approaching .. like everything things change. I know a part of life. Even if I wanted time to to stop it would not ..even for a moment . Even laying there watching the storm was different… my daughter at some friends house . My son tired from work in bed as well as my hubby just I watching it .No kids running into the bedroom or sitting in our living room watching counting between the lightening flashes. Just I … As this Memorial Day approaches this will not be the same as well. Yes they’ll be a cookout ,bonfire on one of the days but less around the fire. but our hearts with them . No friends sleeping over , no sleeping out in a tent and being waken by kids running in as fast as they can to sleep on the living room floor because they heard something in the woods. No movie nights with buckets of popcorn and wide eyed kids as they watched .No just my hubby and I watching a movie , or sitting and watching the stars , taking a ride . As our door swings open and close as my kids come and go from work. I will embrace this change and then the next one and the next one. But for now I will embrace this moment . with a smile on my face and also a tear in my eye.

New read ,quiet day..

It’s Thursday afternoon . The house is cleaned up , a load of laundry thrown in at the last minute. It will be a light supper tonight chicken Pattie sandwiches and chips on the side . Just the two of us tonight My kids working late my daughters late night , my son’s off to his second job. Quiet when he arrived home from his morning job .. I’m sure it was only tiredness but since he has arrived home from Basic he has been more talkative ,when he is quiet I wonder what he is thinking about , he’s such a thinker. I know we all have our moment of quietness where we want to keep to ourselves . The day was a quiet one as well… yes once again.. just me my self and I 🙂Miss Abigail hiding away somewhere in the house sleeping.

The sun is shining after a early afternoon shower. My daytime shows are over . The day before my new book arrived in the mail. I have yet to start it. Tonight before bed I’ll start it . I have a feeling I will get through this quickly . It’s the second book to Kristin Hannah’s Firefly Lane. Loved that book read it years ago and still remember it . I’m happy I bought it now I own both of them. The Second book is called Fly away. Love Kristin Hannah so heartwarming and you feel you have walked into the story . Oh the clouds have moved in again stealing the sun away. I believe it will be that kind of night , off and on showers. Laundry machine has stopped time to transfer to dryer.

Oh the life of a mother ..

The weekend was beautiful despite the rain. This week though even with the sun finally showing itself I just feel this dread or something .. I cannot place this feeling it’s nothing to do with a lack of energy ..oh that I have a lot of .I do know I put myself back in that mom take care mode .. okay you are probably thinking what is so wrong with that ? Well a lot is wrong with that. I’m back in my mode and I promised myself when my son came home after Basic and being away for 6 months I would get on my own routine . And when my son got on that plane that first day . I was good had to be this is what he wanted ..my hubby and I hugged him and let him go and then hubby and I headed home with a coffee stop . And a phone call from him asking if we were home since he had a 2hour wait till his flight I knew he was missing us already being his first time away all to be expected. When we arrived home I cleaned up the house . Room by room not my sons he had cleaned his before he had left. So I just paused at his bedroom door . Then made myself move along. Supper came and my daughter at work then boyfriends … hubby and I ate just it just being the two of us . Well over the 6 months with a 10 day Holiday pass for Christmas he was home . It felt great but so strange I was in a whole new routine . And so him and I clashed a bit … sadly . I was told this was normal. Then the time came and he had to go back. By March I was ready to have him home. And this time it was better we were at an adult son and his mother relationship We talked on a new level . My time ..my routine was still there and he had his routine. Then here we are in May and I’m finding myself out of my routine .. well more then I want to be . I’m worrying if he’s ate what he’s doing . He has been very good about it when before he did not like it. All the mothering believe me I can get over bearing🙄Yes he has had his moments and has told me in a nice way to stop but then sadly apologizes when honestly I do not want him to. I know this summer is going to be a long one. Right now he is working two jobs and he is gone a lot . So I’m trying to get back into the routine of just my hubby and I . In the Fall along with National Guard drills and going away to college it will be my hubby and I and my daughter again when she is here. and I think it will be hard to let go of him this time. He will not be far away it’s for a matter of convenience for him to dorm with our bad winters . And now with all the things happening in this world and him In the Army National Guards has added this worry more then when he signed up . And I can’t say much about this but I do not know if I’m coming off a vibe he is giving out since I’m so good at both my kids vibes of something there worrying about or doing tends to bounce off of them on to me . Always been this way. So could this be it? I’m feeling his worry. Yes he knows what he as signed up for but being 18 there is concern I’m sure with him. He is such a thinker like me . And his humbleness is been a bit more apparent. Which makes me feel anxious…Even though I feel this way I would never change it for the world . Being a mother is just so hard sometimes because the love you feel and there is nothing you will not want to do for your kids . This Fb quiz actually says it. well except for the cowering in your presence well unless you hurt my kids🙂

I made a book list and ordered a book that is on its way that I’m very excited about and I’m looking forward to it . Which it’s been a bit since I was excited about a book since not been able to find a good one and I’m going to keep ordering hoping for more good book to occupy my mind at night , especially when I’m thinking or when he is out late both my kids with that. So my mind doesn’t wander. When I get my book I’ll post it . For now yes finishing the Road. Yes it’s dragging .. but according to my daughter she is shocked that I’m in the last two chapters of it, being that it’s not usually something I would read or even think of finishing. 🙂 well it’s getting late need to try to get some sleep so off I am to bed. Hoping to hear that train and its whistle in a distance I’m so comforted to while saying my nightly prayers falling asleep .