Thinking …

It’s a dreary day .. snowing off and on thankfully not amounting to much. But just the dreariness doesn’t help my mood . I should be jumping for joy yelling to the world my Son will be home in a week.. so why do I feel blah instead ? Oh believe me I am excited . I can’t wait , I miss him so much . I guess it’s the fact I will not be at his graduation with my hubby and also my hubby will be away for 5 days as of tomorrow and the houses is quiet enough . Oh my if they counted on here how many times you uses one word .. I would win for using quiet so much .πŸ™„ I know my daughter will be here it’s just I feel bad depending on her for company . I know that’s not how she is thinking. She wants to help me get his room freshen up for her brother . Plus declutter the house including her place . On her days off from work. . I guess I’m thinking to much which is making me feel anxious and not in control . I need to stop over thinking. I need to stay busy . So hate this feeling. Now if it wasn’t winter . We would have drove . If it wasn’t winter I’d feel better because it wouldn’t be dreary .. omg I know I’m thinking about things that are not able to be. Oh I am my worse enemy…. we’ll need to switch laundry over. And think about supper. Wish me luck to stop thinking so much.

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Soon!

Good morning it’s a quiet Tuesday one .. after waking up at 7:00 the aroma of coffee found its way to me . I dragged myself to the shower but not before starting a load of laundry my husband had loaded in the washing machine ..I blasted the hot water since it’s so cold trying to warm up . Finally finding my way to the kitchen grabbing some coffee was so worth every sip.Miss Abigail is already in her chair sleeping away again . Oh this house is quiet but going to be even quieter by Friday when my hubby flys out to my Son for his Basic Training graduation I’ve mentioned this in past posts ,I’m not going can not fly or do the long distance walking so he will video and get a lot of pictures. The graduation isn’t until next Wed with visiting the base the day before so actually he’s flying out Saturday early morning with his mom who got them a room by the airport on Friday night so she wouldn’t have to to do an hr and a half ride to the airport for a 8:00am flight sadly they will be hanging around in a hotel from Sat to Tues because of finding a flight so close to my sons graduation . Then after graduation they will head to the airport and fly home with him . It will be a long day for them they should arrive home around 1or 2 in the morning.. I will stay up to at least give my son a hug and then let him head to bed . And then catchup with him as much as possible until his friends get ahold of him. They have already started texting me asking when he will be home …… so this will be interesting πŸ™‚. It’s only 12 days here then he flys back out again but it’s ok I can at least have him home for Christmas !

I have been slowly decluttering the house .. my daughter will help me when my hubby is away which will keep my mind busy . Yes my mind (hahaha) I think too much . And so decluttering and freshening up his bedding will keep me busy . Yes I have been thinking and what timing as I’m writing this post I’m watching the morning local show while enjoying my coffee their talking about first holidays with your adult kids coming home from college , moving out military etc ..stating how when they come home it will be different for them and the parents as well.. The day they first walked out the door on their own they became adults and started their new life and so they will be different and we will be different as well ..So how we treated them before will change a bit yes their still our kids but their adults, seen a different world so transitioning to coming home will be however we make it but to respect there difference as well as they should respect our difference of how we as parents have adapted to them not being here But being adults doesn’t mean they will not need us they will. But in a more supportive way of letting them tell you how they feel if it’s been hard then guide them with ideas to make it more easier but teaching them , telling them is no longer our job. It’s their life. and we want them to want .. to look forward to coming home.Ok I must say listening to this has helped a lot because that is what I’ve been thinking about so much as the time has come closer to my son coming home and him coming home from Basic Training he will be different. And that could be a good thing . Oh I love him but he needed some help with growing up and hopefully taming his wild ways ..not a bad wild but a young wild .. so I will step back see how he is when he walks though the door and then trend carefully seeing the difference in him. My daughter growing into an adult was so different and easy she didn’t move away but went in a separate part of our house and just transitioned so much better I think she was born an adult ) hahaha) being a teenager was hard for her she always acted older then her peers . Was better around adults so being adult she has flourished and I’m proud of her. . So yes we will see . I’ll keep you posted.

Roaming..

Just like my title says …roaming.. I just feel like I’m running in place. I do not have much Christmas shopping for my kids to do ..I ordered online for something’s and then its gift cards and money towards things they need help with. What can you do when their adults. Oh the days of toy shopping was so much easier and more fun! As I write this I’m seeing a toy commercial come on the tv. (hahaha) then having older nieces and nephews it’s a money gift card for them as well . So as I look at everyone on line or talking with people their all wound up about buying things . I just want to have my family all together … my son will be coming home for twelve days and when he just starts to relax it will be time to fly back out is what I’m thinking so the whole present thing is probably not his main focus , my daughter feels like she hasn’t done enough and I told her I’m sure it’s fine . All long as I feel like I’m just roaming walking in place feeling like I should be doing more. .. but honestly it’s no different from any other yr since they have become older . Their fine. So that being said I will just get this house ready with the help of my daughter with food in the house since it’s been just feeding my hubby and I . My daughter doesn’t eat too much at home and when she does she buys what she wants. So stock up on food that my son likes but then again I don’t know if he is eating the same way he did before he left for Basic .. he may want junk food (and eating out. hahaha) And ….,that being said it’s waiting for my son to come home .

I have books to read, spend a bit more on here with my blog and now my new thing my friend and I started that I posted about a week or so ago . Now that my Son is about done with Basic there isn’t any more letter writing with him so we have decided to write back and fourth and I am feeling guilty because she has already wrote me and I am dragging my butt . I have started a letter just need time to do it and to focus . And sadly I have the time I honestly can’t say why my day goes by so fast .. It’s just so relaxed I get up catch up on news with my coffee then clean up around the house and then run into town , post office garage, etc then come back home and get supper started . And then get off my feet for a bit enjoying my soap then finish supper and then hubby cleans up and then he , we settle in to watch our tv shows and try to do my thing .. books ..writing, but then my day is gone night time settles in.. and that’s why I feel this running in place feeling . Ughh maybe I’m thinking too much … I just don’t know . πŸ™„ like now its 6:00 in the evening been dark since 5 supper is done and cleaned up . And now my hubby is relaxing on the couch and I’m cozied in my chair with a blanket it’s so cold … they say the coldest night it will be so far . It’s strange with it being a clear starry cold evening we keep hearing the whistle of the trains going by , while we are watching the news.. yes time to time we hear them at night while we are laying in bed and it’s quiet but the last two night the whistle and the sound of the train on the tracks is crystal clear. It’s even mor creepier … well I guess I should finish my letter to my friend and then read one of my books . I’d say my hubby and I could watch a movie but he’s going to settle in early yeah it’s Friday but Saturday is the last day of hunting so my hubby and his friend are hunting for the day . Plus it’s a good night for settling earlier to keep warm( hahaha)

Rainy Sunday..

It’s a cold rainy Sunday. Not complaining better then the ice and snow they first predicted. So just having a very lazy day , slept in then dragged myself to the shower and finally made it to the kitchen for my morning coffee.. at this point I think I need several to get me out of this blah feeling . My joints hurt which is always the case when it rains ..so it’s not a myth. Maybe do some things around here or not.. πŸ™„ need to order some gifts online then I may just Adult color or read. Hoping my son calls today . He did state on Thanksgiving he may have one more phone call left before Basic Training Graduation . I hope so .. I wrote a letter the weekend after Thanksgiving I’m thinking he may have just received it . No letters from him because he will be so busy but he did state keep the letters coming . Sadly with how it takes so long for him to get them I keep holding back to send one more out . It will be graduation by the time he gets it , if he even gets it I did send my congrats in the last letter since I will not be able to fly out to see him graduate my hubby will be there . He understands . I will stay back and with the help of my daughter in between her work schedule she will help me wash his bedding again to freshen it up . Dust his room . And help me stock up for food that he likes plus Christmas Eve and Christmas Day food. That will keep my mind busy well maybe…. I know I ll be thinking of him constantly that day with a tear in my eye one for not being there with him and second because I am so proud of him. I do miss writing to him . Love writing it felt good. Hopefully when he goes back for his next training it’s letters only instead of cellphones even though being only a text away would be nicer .I’m afraid he will get wrapped up with his friends and use his texting time on his friends….. he is only 18 . Friends are so important at that age , even though his letters he’s been so humble . Will see. Hubby’s snoozing on the couch while waiting for his team to play .. Sunday Football . My daughters with her boyfriend then work this afternoon. Late but short shift. Miss Abigail is sleeping away in our bean bag chair oh to be a cat ,she makes sleeping look so nice. Well time to do a few things so I can sit back down and color or read .

Thinking , ideas …

I started thinking tonight … yes not a good thing. πŸ™„ so I wasn’t going to go all materialistic this Christmas ..BUT! The more I thought about it my mind got me thinking more then I already was..my son wasn’t really going to have any items to open on Christmas for the most part his gifts will be In the form of paying for his Christmas leave flight from an Aunt ,money from his Grandmother since he didn’t give her a list and his focus is on Basic Training at the moment. I was going to do food gift cards and some money ..yes doesn’t sound too bad oh I know. but the more my mind started thinking .. it’s fun to have somethings to open so now for an hour I have been scrolling through site after site trying to come up with some things and well much harder then I thought .. ughh ! But I think I got it .. an electric razor since he took my husbands that he liked so much and I found the same one online . A throw pillow with a hiking mountain scene for his room . Loves decor for it. A single air mattress when he goes camping don’t ask (hahaha ) or a gaming chair ( still deciding ) he’s mention one . Then some gifts cards for gaming to relax his mind and body till he leaves again. And I can wrap the gift cards in a little box . I think that works perfectly . Now to order online this week. Oh then I found a cute cat pillow and a coffee mug for my daughter that I think she will love . She had a list so has presents to unwrap from people. But couldn’t resist the cat pillow. My husband and I will do somethings after Christmas for us a nice date night out at our favorite Pub which will be pleasant . I use to love Christmas when the kids were younger and toys were fun to buy and way cheaper . Then as they got older it began to get harder and more expensive. That it seem more like a chore then fun . So I think this year is more practical mixed in with some fun. Well I at least hope so…. oh now to stop my mind from thinking and tell it to stop.πŸ™‚ I’m am thinking but it’s about thinking of getting some sleep. So I guess since I’ve been online half the night it’s time to get off here so that’s what I’m going to do. Good night everyone!

Writing…

It’s been a simple day . The temperature outside was just bitterly cold ,what sun we had didn’t do to much to warm it up any. I took advantage of it and decided to stay in no running into town needed to be done and thankfully was able to renew my library books online. I did some dusting and a small load of towels easy enough . Spent the day chatting with my daughter as we went about things around the house until she had to leave for work. Yesterday I received two letters in the mail from my Son. I read them once again after my daughter had left for work and the house was quiet . In all the letters he has written he has stated several times how the simple things are what matters the most and family… it’s a funny thing what happens when your phone is taken away and you have a lot of time to think and realize what matters.. Basic training is defiantly an adjustment . I wonder if back in the day before cell phones were created if thinking or thoughts were as deep ? When people went into the service and had time on their hands before it got busy ..now we are all constantly looking at our phones it’s a wonder if we really think of anything of importance as much . It’s going on midnight and I just finish writing a letter back to my son. I must say with each letter I write my handwriting is improving ( hahaha) I’ve been noticing that. Loving this just wish the mail was a bit faster . I guess somethings do not change. Needing to start that journal still deciding on a regular journal for my thoughts or a prayer journal I keep reading about. Another thing to do … well I’m looking at the time and it midnight should call it a day and say my prayers and get some sleep . Started writing late tonight . So now another late night.which is fine .

A day of waiting…

Its Sunday night . After a bit of rain during the morning hours the skies cleared . It stayed in the forties but that was doable being that I stayed in and just did things around the house ..chatted on the phone with a friend. She had just adopted a puppy and was telling me all about her in a very enthusiastic manner. I am happy for her since she lost her pup this summer that she adored. She was also trying to warm me up to the idea of adopting one from the place she had . Said there was so many little ones that needed a loving nurturing caring stay at home mom like me . Hmmm. … she is good. πŸ˜‚ she has me thinking and looking at them on line . I am thinking maybe it’s just what I need to fill the gap I seem to not be able to fill or even justify.. yes I do love to take care of people , animals , and it’s going on 3 yrs since loosing our pups . Maybe I could give that love to another…. we stayed on the phone for awhile it was nice it help to get through the day as my hubby and I waited and wondered if my son would be able to call home. Well I believe we counted the days wrong since he started Basic trying 4 days later then planned so it brings two week call to Wed the 30th so that will mean next Sunday? Because no calls happened tonight . I read for awhile and we are watching baseball ,if the Red Sox win tonight they won the World Series. People will be cheering around my world tonight! Including my hubby. I’m afraid I may not be able to stay up to finish it . So time to get off here and say some prayers and get some sleep.