Moments ,memories..

It was a rainy day, and a good day for a hot cup of tea and listen to @Dr.andrea Dinardo’ video on her beautiful blog. and now an icy night. So dislike these days in the winter. Happy though that the day before was spent out and about with the sun shining bright. And a night out with my sister and her friend’s watching my niece sing at her high school winter concert. and then grabbing a bite out and many laughs and good conversation. I always have such a good time with my sister. I must say signs are still upon me. While I was looking out the window from my bedroom, enjoying the sun shining in taking in its warmth, a cardinal landed on the tree branch facing the window. It seemed to be looking in my direction but in not positive it was looking at me. Then as fast as it appeared it was gone. It did make me smile.and wonder what more surprises would arise throughout the day . I did get a message from a friend of my dad that I had been waiting for for weeks a reply back. So that was interesting. I haven’t talked In yrs with this person but hope he had some answers to some questions I had. So the timing of the cardinal and message was something. Coincidence no, no such thing. After that day I fell asleep at 10:30 so not typical of me. And it wasn’t due to a lack of coffee . I must be getting a high tolerance . So tonight on this icy night I’m cozied up on the couch and watching my favorite Friday night show Long Island Medium. I love that women. I find her fascinating . My friend and I want to go see her .. I know it sounds strange but it’s something we want to do . Tickets are actually not a bad price. We would really love to go to her house. But there is a long waiting list. Any way at least I can enjoy her show on Friday nights . The rain is still coming down but the temps are rising so the icing should stop soon . That’s a good thing. Will be headed out in the morning with my sister to get some Christmas shopping done and yes enjoy some coffee. For now going to sit back and enjoy my show. 🙂

Turmoil..

Turmoil. That has been my word the last yr or so.life is so full of chaos whether it’s by the government, humanity, within a family. It’s just there. And I know life is beautiful and how you make it. Yes, I heard it all before. But sometimes we are not left to choose how we want our lives to play out. Yes, we can question the paths we take. Were they the right ones? Well, we do not know until we have crossed them and then we choose from there. Than there’s, the surprises life throws in. Some good some not. And then how we deal with them how we move on from them. All I know is you keep trying. Keep pushing, running, crawling however, it takes to keep moving forward. If we stop we loose the momentum to keep going.

Writing… thoughts #2

The music plays softly in the lightly darkened room. My body wrapped warmly in a blanket. Wishing that it was your arms instead keeping me warm. Your voice whispering in my thoughts singing to me the songs I hear playing . I close my eyes and feel my body relax and feel comforted with the sound of your voice. I can see your ocean, blue eyes piercing through my thoughts. My heart aches to have you near. You’re all I need. You are the every breath I take, every smile on my face. Every beautiful thing my eyes see. Cant you see?

Puzzling…

Friday morning woke from a dream that felt so real. I know we all have had that kind of dream. This though, was a dream like I have never had. It was so peaceful. Comforting. And felt so much love. I would say the rest, but you wouldn’t believe it. I’ll leave it at that . It was something so spiritual if that even describes it. And the rest of the day seems to follow suit in signs oh so many signs. A cardinal was appearing right in front of where my sister and I where parked on a bush while we’re talking about our parents that had passed many yrs ago. And then as fast as it appeared, it disappeared just wanting to show it’s presence. The day as I stated still followed with more signs. We went into a store that my sister had been In more than I could count, and I had never been in. It was like an indoor tag sale and antiques shop. This place was wall to wall stocked with everything you could ever imagine. I chuckled and stated that I would love to come upon an old fashioned stainless steel made meat grinder that back in the day you would clamp onto your counter and put whatever meat in it to hand spin the meat for sandwiches. I believe it’s could possibly be an antique. As a kid, I loved watching my mother use it. My sister agreed it would be something to find. As we browsed, I happened to look down at the same time as she did at this tin pail holding random items, and there was where we spotted the meat grinder And the look on our face. well, you could imagine was priceless. she reached down and grabbed it and said of all the things there was no price tag on it everything in the place has a tag on it and some things were so expensive I could only imagine. I asked the lady working, and she was like oh well that’s different and throughout a random amount. 5.00 dollars, all I could say was okay. Thinking though this was worth so much more. We left after that quickly.. She invited me to stay over her house and bake with her and her daughter and yes, drink coffee. She loved her coffee as well it’s a family thing. We stopped by my house so I could grab my things and off we went to her house that is our family homstead. So always going to her house is like going home again. She has redone it, and it looks beautiful, but it’s still home always will be. The three of us had a bunch of laughs and enjoyed homemade m&m cookies and coffee. Yes, I cheated on my diet, but so worth it. We stayed up way past midnight chatting . The day was absolutely amazing. There was many more signs and moments of discoveries . That proofed that our parents were still around us watching over us. Another time for that . When I post my meat grinder. I will say a lot I have discovered about my family and this thing called life and death . and even though someone has passed and we cannot see them . We can at least feel them if you open your heart and mind to it . Your heart is the easy part their your love ones . Wrapping your mind around it is another thing. For me both is easy for I feel very sensitive to this. It’s unbelievable but beautiful.

What a day…

Let’s see fell asleep earlier again well early for me 1 instead of 3 then dragged myself to the shower and yes the coffee pot more like ran to it . Nothing like a big hot cup of coffee on a cold morning ..afternoon.. and evening (haha) and yes I do sleep. After some breakfast I was out the door around noon arriving home at 6 . Had an appointment A stop at the grocery store and then met up with a friend. We talked forever . About what I don’t know .. many subjects though she and I can talk forever do that shouldn’t be surprising. Do you ever have a day where ever you go people just strike up a conversation with you ? And it just keeps going through out the day everyone you run into wants to talk. That was my day. Then I get home finally and get online to check my FB and everyone’s messaging me. I had to let them go politely. I know it’s social media what do you expect right? But I’m a bit talked out. Now I’m settled on the couch cozy under my blanket a book near by . And my phone to listen to some music on. Let’s see what will relax me more. Book or music, I’m thinking music I believe once I put the earplugs in and turn on the music I’ll be asleep. And my thought can settle down and take a break . Yes being a thinker it’s hard at times I do not believe for a thinker a clear mind is possible . . Will see though. 🙂

Full moon

  • (Hope you don’t mind the music in the video .. )The moon is full and bright tonight. The light radiating from it has my yard filled with shadows. It’s creepy how the woods look when there’s a full moon. I would doubt the animals are roaming around tonight it’s so cold . I was just talking with a friend tonight on FB who said they were working a 6 to 6 shift tonight making snow at out local ski resort. Soon skiers and snowboarders will be enjoying the slopes. My son loves to snowboard . Did so much of it throughout his elementary and high school yrs . Then the first yr after graduating . Now I think he will be too busy to enjoy. I use to love going and watching him when he was younger flying down the slopes . Yes at time I closed my eyes . ( hahaha) we did have a moment of some snow flakes but then the sun came out nice and bright. Not that I minded. I was even shocked that I enjoyed the cold . I actually found it refreshing. People have laughed at this when I told them this. Just trying to stay positive about it . I need to I dread winter. I’m a fire sign I need the sun. No sun is not good. My friend keeps telling me to go to a tanning salon and It would make me happy . I’m not sure if I dare. I’ve heard so many different things on this .
  • It’s midnight and at the moment I’m wide awake. I’m watching Long Island Medium . My friend thinks I should go onto her website and try to see her. I don’t know . I love Theresa I’m just afraid what she may come up with. I feel deeply . So it scares me a bit. Before my mom had passed she asked for me . I was home taking care of my newborn. She told my sisters who were with her she needed to talk to me then she passed. This has had me wondering for yrs. maybe it was nothing… but what if it was something ..do I want to know or will it just cause me anguish? Once you open that door it will be hard to close. Oh how we wonder. Well time to think of getting some sleep. Goodnight everyone.

Silence…

It’s a quiet Sunday night darkness is already upon us has been for hours now. I’m wrapped in a blanket cozy upon my couch with a warm cup of coffee in hand. The silence is deafening making the the thoughts in my head a bit noisier . Im trying to embrace this moment but there is too many should of’s going through my thoughts. I know pointless.. or are they? Can we find answers from should of’s or only regrets? I do not like regrets . But my mind does wander there as well . I’m always telling my kids never regret . But then here I am . Oh we can be our own worse enemy at times . Off and on I hear the sound of the heat click on or a distant sound of the train near by .I wonder how many times a train goes by without even knowing until it’s silent then I hear it every time. The sound of it whistle echoing through the cold dark night. It’s silly but I always find it comforting. For a minute it’s sound takes me away from my thoughts. Yes a Moment of peace. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath in then out . And I do it all over again . My thoughts are so close to the surface with every beat of my heart. It’s the thought that touch your heart that are a bit more complicated ..For another day I think I will visit those thoughts for now I will just sip on my coffee feel its warmth and listen for another train to roll on by.