Thinking…

I woke and quickly realize I needed to get to the bank . My son has a job interview so he needs my car … yes at the moment we are sharing a car until he gets one . It hasn’t been too bad we been working around each other’s things I don’t really use it much but still need it . Hopefully he gets this job. If he does he will use his dads truck when I need mine by dropping my hubby off at work and I picking my hubby up in the afternoon . Right now I have appointments set up where my daughter can bring me . But today was crazy . I rushed, through a brush through my hair ,put some make up on and was off . Let’s see the poor guy messed up with my transactions and scared the heck out of me . The look on his face through the drive up camera said it all . I told him it was fine do what he needed to do to fix it I could wait . Well I rolled the window up because a song came on the radio that I LOVE and singing is my stress release . So I’m singing and turning off and on making sure he wasn’t at the camera I kept singing well I look back at it again and there he was . I stopped singing rolled down the window so he could hear the music if he could so he didn’t think I was talking to myself 🙄 well he fixed it 20 mins later . Apologizing over and over and I told him it was fine it happens with a smile on my face . Or was it embarrassment …

Then I went to the Post Office to see if my packages were in .hmm ..only one and too light . She said that’s all there was hmm …I think I have half a sectional cover. Ughh so I’ll be having to call the store . I got home all flustered told my son how it went at the bank ( not my singing embarrassment ) and he grabbed the package and I told him about only the one . He tried to lighten my mood by saying mom were you a bully to that teller with his kidding smirk . He knows I wouldn’t be rude. Then he looked at box said if you can’t open the box I will when I get home and will see what’s in it I have to go. With that said the house is quiet I have a meatloaf baking in the oven so the house smells delicious . I’m drinking my coffee I didn’t have this morning while my day time shows are on. I’m recording it so if I’m not totally focus on it I can watch later. As I’m writing. The sun is shining and my mind is doing what it always does and shouldn’t . Thinking… I need to let things go and I have . But I m always thinking of how to make things better for my family . Yes! My kids , my adult kids , I know things are not easy and life is a challenge oh I do know… but why is it so hard for some but so easy for others. I know .. we do not always know the story behind people .. it’s just it seems so easy for some and it’s hard watching your kids struggle.. even if their adults . Such the hard part of being a parent .. Mother.. I know I need to let them go and deal with the ups and downs themselves .. I did .. it’s just doesn’t seem that this new generation is as strong , confidence know matter how hard us parents have tried , society’s rules per say is so hard .. backwards I feel our kids are so much more weaker .hmm technology has gotten so bad it absorbs everyone’s life , the cell phones , social media , I don’t know if that’s it but the , patients isn’t there or we just want more.. then I did when we were growing up.. I guess it’s not up to me or anyone but ourselves how we live .. as long as they’re happy , trying, being a good person, and save. All my opinion like I said ..just thinking.

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Thinking …

It’s a dreary day .. snowing off and on thankfully not amounting to much. But just the dreariness doesn’t help my mood . I should be jumping for joy yelling to the world my Son will be home in a week.. so why do I feel blah instead ? Oh believe me I am excited . I can’t wait , I miss him so much . I guess it’s the fact I will not be at his graduation with my hubby and also my hubby will be away for 5 days as of tomorrow and the houses is quiet enough . Oh my if they counted on here how many times you uses one word .. I would win for using quiet so much .🙄 I know my daughter will be here it’s just I feel bad depending on her for company . I know that’s not how she is thinking. She wants to help me get his room freshen up for her brother . Plus declutter the house including her place . On her days off from work. . I guess I’m thinking to much which is making me feel anxious and not in control . I need to stop over thinking. I need to stay busy . So hate this feeling. Now if it wasn’t winter . We would have drove . If it wasn’t winter I’d feel better because it wouldn’t be dreary .. omg I know I’m thinking about things that are not able to be. Oh I am my worse enemy…. we’ll need to switch laundry over. And think about supper. Wish me luck to stop thinking so much.

Short posts.. a lot going on.

My posts have been short . It’s hard to describe but I’ll try , I’ve been posting everyday ..it’s just I do not feel like I’m really saying anything … I do not feel my heart and my mind is into what I’m posting in the last week or two . I believe my heart and mind is else where . With virus’s going around with my daughter starting it then I and my son leaving in about a week and two days and now finding out he will not be home for Christmas , Thanksgiving we knew he wouldn’t but he was going to come home for Christmas but now with it not being really two weeks off it’s suggested to just stay right on through until end of Feb possibly March . Now I’m having to deal with my husband seeking my attention constantly because he’s thinking so much about it as I am trying to deal with my own feelings plus little spats between my son and I because he thinks I’m mothering him too much …ugh honestly I’m going to miss him but I think him and I need a break from one another. So dealing with a little guilt of how I’m feeling but I know he feels we need a break as well. A lot of emotions running high in our house at the moment. That’s where my heart and mind is. I hope to feel like my heart and mind will be back into this again soon. Until then hope you can bare with me .

Scorcher…

It’s the end of August but feels like July . Temps are reading over the 90″s with the heaviness of the humidity weighing down on all of us . Us New Englanders are not use to this. The air conditioners are running but they can only do so much . It’s been a day of Soap Opera watching and crockpot cooking to stay cool. Miss Abigail looks up from her nap when she hears me mumbling in disgust at the tv because yes … I get into my Soaps🙄 and she is looking at me like crazy lady who is she talking to no ones here. (Hahaha) I believe another day of this , well that is what they say but only Mother Nature knows that answer.. so we wait. Soaps are over now ,so what to do. I’m sure I’ll find something . Hubby has arrived home so time to check our supper that is cooking.

Stop Thinking…

As you see the sky’s cleared the sun came out but the wind came with it. It’s night now and the winds are raging havoc on the trees .My hubby does not like thunderstorms and winds ..high winds, tonight I actually do not it’s wild out there. Trying to settle in bed it was a quiet day did what needed to be done then relaxed started feeling under the weather with so much going around I’m not surprised Plus the rain was bothering my hip I feel blah yes hahaha I do not know how else to subscribe it . So watching tv in bed with my hubby. My son is as now gone to bed , my daughter is out with her boyfriend and probably not happy with me but that is okay…yes she is 23 but if you live under our roof and do not pay rent I have a say to state my opinions about certain things that I know she will regret . I know that’s her problem being 22 Shes an adult this parenting thing is so frusturating thinking it’s time to charge some rent … Honestly I do not want to have to be right and it’s not about her needing me because it’s not ,it’s about her finding a foundation ..growing up getting it together and I getting some sleep and not worrying if she’s home yet, or having to pick the pieces up when she falls apart . I just feel so tired of worrying about everything and it gets me no where. I feel I should be able to be happy I’ve done my job .. Im starting to get use to the idea my youngest is graduating and will be heading to college and I want my daughter to have the confidence the ability to grow like her brother is yes they are such opposites but I think they could learn something from one another …well the wind is not calming down it’s actually worse and so I think I will try to cozy up under the covers and try to sleep so I do not hear the wind and I don’t think myself to an all nighter .. Goodnight Everyone.🙂

Long Day….

Today was a very long dreary day . My anxiety was up for once it wasn’t about worrying about my son I knew he was having fun on the slopes with his friends . It was from watching the snow fall endlessly all day and seeing the trees swaying back and forth . I felt  stuck in the house and being dreary out did not help. Boston  sadly is in rough shape over. A Foot of snow and coastal flooding so the schools and some business are closed tomorrow as well as for us too we got the call tonight that school is cancelled tomorrow due o the wind chill road conditions and busses not being able to start so a 3day weekend for us and the surrounding schools . My daughter will go into work tomorrow afternoon and my hubby will find out in the morning if he is to report.This is becoming a scary winter season ……can you say global warming or are we all going to be in denial to admit this. It’s been a very hot  stormy summer and now a very brutaly cold stormy winter. All of this is feeling pretty scary I must admit. This word is changing in so many ways and not all for the best makes me nervous. What can we do?  I’m just hoping for the sun  to come out at least even though it will be too brutal to go out . I just need the sun to shine . Let’s hope .Okay time for me to settle under thes blankets and try to get some sleep. Goodnight !

Ughhhh!!!!!

What a day it’s been so far back and forth  since this morning on text because he is at school on break not an argument but a disagreement on the photo my son picked for Year book…but didn’t win that one . Then my hubby calling complaining about his barn roof not being delivered well took care of that .Then car insurance calls on Home phone wondering about a claim that never was claimed on windshield replace hmm because the guy didn’t have the right window and was suppose to call insurance for me while my mother in-law calls on cell phone and my daughters cat is throwing up hair balls and I’m trying not to gag while on two phones oh my whyyy ….. now I cleaned up the cat mess and insurance mess  talked to My Mother in-law and now pulling the adult coloring book out to hopefully color away my nerves. Will see if it works . Sadly it’s 3:00 in the afternoon and the sun is slowly setting…. this time change is so depressing …makes for a long evening.  What can you do… well I guess I will color for a bit soon it will be time to make supper .