Help!!! Lol it’s been such a day of mishaps . Let’s see I woke this morning feeling it would be . It was such a feeling that I couldn’t shake off. But I went through the day and let’s say it was not good. Went to grab a few things at the grocery store . Knew I should of made a list. Then I forgot my wallet on the grocery cart. And this was after I headed to our local orchard for a few things to find no wallet insight. I had to head back to the store. Thankfully a 10 min drive but those were the longest 10 minutes ever.. thankfully someone brought it to the stores front desk. Then it was back to the orchard. Pulling into my driveway my breaks made a strange sound .. I am hoping it was from all the salt and sand on the road from the bit of snow that arrived this morning. Once home made some dinner and settled in and spent hours on a post that if you read good luck I have no idea what happened. Read if you like I am going to delete it once I can copy it since it didn’t save to anything. Ugh…. so that was my day. Hoping some soft music will relax me and let me get to sleep . Will see.This is where I would love to be right now…
Woke this morning with a unsettled feeling. If I can even call it that . It’s really hard to define what I was feeling. I grabbed a quick shower then went and grabbed some coffee. Still feeling the unsettled ness .I tried to shake it off as just tiredness . I knew though it wasn’t that. I went about getting somethings done around the house. As the day went on I started go feel more at ease . By afternoon I felt better. I decided to go outside and absorb some sun in my face . Feel its warmth. It was such a beautiful day out. The sky could not have been any more blue then it was . Such a deep radiant blue. I just enjoyed the sun ,listening to the birds. And in the distance of the woods I could hear the acorns falling . All was peaceful.
A car pulled into the driveway. And my peace felt gone within seconds . My in-law aunts seem to arrive at our house . I do not mind company . I do welcome it but I like to know when someone wants to visit. I waited for them to come into the house .once inside things became strange. Well rude. Not on my part but theirs. They made rude remarks. at me because they didn’t like what I was saying. It wasn’ their way . Sadly these are two sisters who have never married and live together. I believe their not happy people unless they judge someone . I do not agree with this behavior . I have put up with it ever since I married. I am or for the most part kind to everyone as long as you are to me and my family if not I will not stand for it and yes it has got me In Trouble many times. I am a fighter I can get angry yes who wouldn’t when your verbally being attacked for no reason but being yourself. Yes I have change a lot over the yr. I have come to take care of me . I have come to realize there is a time when you had enough so yes . I speak my mind . But today was different. Something felt different. As they dished out the bad behavior . I stood there sipping on my tea. I replied with one maybe two words. I was so calm. I wasnt letting them get away with this if that’s what your thinking. I was just calm I had no will to fight there was no reason to . They were being rude. My daughter was amazed at my calm demeanor . And honestly I believe they where shocked the relatives . Because I had no come back .. no raised voice, I just kept excusing myself to walk away for a bit. My calmness amazes me. And the anger I would once feel when this happened. was not there. I was just calm. Luckily I thought of a away to makeup an excuse to get them to leave by telling them my daughter I had appointments to be at and we needed to go . Lucky my daughter caught on with what I was doing. So we acted like it was time to go . Thankfully they stood up from where they where sitting and head for the door. I told them to have a good day . And they were gone . I do not know what happened . The person standing there in that room with them just felt like it wasn’t me. (Haha) no I’m not crazy .. yet😂 Its just a yr ago I would have been lashing back at them and giving them what they wanted . A reaction. But today I believe I shocked them with my calm demeanor . And it was like they inflated. All was quiet for many moments. And I felt fine. My daughter was impressed.
I will never understand why people have to hurt others why they get pleasure out of being rude to others. Maybe their really not happy with them self’s . Maybe their not as confidence as we think they are. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I really do not like to think bad of others.. Sadly I did use to judge. But now I see no point in it . It only hurts us to be so hurtful by that behavior. And turns us into angry people and I know I do not want to be that kind of person .
What is it about thinkers ? Our minds are either calm or racing with thoughts so deep you feel them through your body right into your soul. The thoughts run endlessly through our minds . Words spoken from someone whether there meant to to teach us a lesson or just said we can take them to the extreme and feel it in so many ways . We can replay them over and over in our minds trying to explain to ourselves what it means. Breaking the words into tiny little pieces and then like a puzzle putting them back together again to understand. Oh the mind of a thinker is so exhausting. When someone hurts we think about it and tend to feel hurt with them . Along with thinkers I believe we tend to feel more emotions then others and at times it’s draining . Sadly I love very deeply and once I love there is no end to it. so these qualities are hard to handle at times ..Sometimes it feels like so much weight on your shoulders but honestly it’s in your head. This weight we carry. I try and I try but my thoughts are endless as the ocean and no stopping the endless waves that come crashing in.
I am an insomniac by nature.. never needed a great amount of sleep.growing up I loved the night time. When my kids were younger I slept better . Running after kids all day long can do that to you. And now with my kids becoming adults I am on a whole new routine no more early nights early mornings.now replaced with late nights to late mornings
Last night was a sleepless night . Tossing and turning , I guess having a headache when I went to bed didn’t help. I kept telling myself I can sleep in the morning. Let’s say that didn’t happen . My phone that was on my bedside table kept buzzing the charger for it needs to be replaced and soon . So at 5 this morning I hear it making a louder buzzing noise I take look at it and notice that my phone says no service . I looked twice to make sure I was seeing it clearly …yep no service . The problem is it’s 5 in the morning hubby left for work early . I thought please let it be my phone that is the only one not working. Nope my sons phone wasn’t working as well. I thought it was strange knowing my hubby went to work with a dead phone so I tried calling it just to see and he answered let me State he has no WiFi so his phone is fine…okay cut a long story short the cell towers were both down in our area. Now it’s 5 in the morning after really no sleep and I try to lay back down to get a couple of hours … wasn’t happening. Just couldn’t settle. It’s been a long day walking around with a foggy head. . I did this evening as I was rocking in my chair love to rock it relaxes me . I rocked myself to sleep , (hahaha) I can’t say how long I was out I’m guessing only a half an hour. so much for a bit more sleep Oh I handled sleepless night so much better when I was younger. I hope it’s not going to be another long night tonight . The evening getting darker earlier hopefully will help me settle earlier. Will see. I find this a bit funny reading this post back to myself that I wrote so much on not sleeping.. I must be exhausted.🙄
Sitting under my tree , happy place today deck needing more work then we expected… the sun is out and there is a beautiful breeze . A quiet day . My daughter is headed to work. My son coming home this evening after an over night orientation at the college he will be attending this Fall. That said I am taking in a moment and doing nothing … as I sit here my mind keeps reflecting back to a mystery this past week .. as You know if your a regular follower or just reading my post . I live in a peaceful quiet wooded area in the country where our driveway is more of a country road . So trees surrounding our home , during the day all you hear is the wind , the birds, and the comings and goings of my kids and their friends. So this was a surprise when I open my kitchen door this past week and found this beautiful item
Outside the door laying on the railing. I asked my son who was just arriving home from his morning run if he had placed it there ?he replied no asking if maybe dad had found it and put it there before work . Puzzled I sent my husband a picture and asked . He replied several minutes later no he didn’t and that he had never seen it before. And thought maybe our daughter. When my daughter woke I asked her and the same reply no not me. Okay now I was really in dismay …. relatives never just show up out here so I didn’t think it was any of them but I called around anyways and same reply no I did not. It’s been a week and this butterfly sits in my planter within my flowers . And there is no answers to where or how his came upon our door step . Do I find it beautiful ? Yes . .. does it make me wonder where this came from ? Yes.. does it bother me this un known mystery yes.. what do you think a message perhaps a sign ? I would love to know .