Maybe some normalcy now..

It’ brutally cold night, but the stars and the moon are out. And my car is back after my son needed it at his college for a couple of days. Tomorrow I can get out and get some things done and grab myself a coffee. I know like I need more coffee .as the snow had cleared the early morning, the sun cane out shining. Beautiful and bright giving the snow a glittering sight and lifting my spirits a bit. Then as the evening approached, we had a beautiful sunset, and that lifted my spirits even more. I agree with several fellow bloggers on here that winter and the holidays can be a bit of a moment of grieving. I have lost many loved ones and no matter how many yrs pass; it doesn’t change the feeling of loss. Maybe lessens it, but the emotions are still there. Sorry this was suppose to have been an uplifting post . Give me time and this happy laughing lady will be back. Just need to feel these emotions. . So much has changed this past year that I believe it brought more emotions to the surface to be felt. And only tucking them away in the back of my mind is not good. For anyone. So feel because grief has no time limit.

Today I talked with an old friend from High school we have a long history together back in the day; we thought we were each other’s soulmates. Oh, how young we were. The thing is no matter how much we tried to separate, we were connected in a way that had us reaching out to one another ( not in a romantic way), just reaching out to talk when we needed someone to talk to. Sadly we never were able to have a relationship because it was just too intense, and it always ended up in a breakup. He’s married with three daughters. Happily, I cannot say settled, yes. It was nice though to talk and said he was always here if needed. And at the end of our conversation he said call me anytime and remember to smile , keep smiling. So I say to everyone that is in a down mood keep smiling. Here is my beautiful sunset tonight. Enjoy. I know I did.

Thinking …

It’s a dreary day .. snowing off and on thankfully not amounting to much. But just the dreariness doesn’t help my mood . I should be jumping for joy yelling to the world my Son will be home in a week.. so why do I feel blah instead ? Oh believe me I am excited . I can’t wait , I miss him so much . I guess it’s the fact I will not be at his graduation with my hubby and also my hubby will be away for 5 days as of tomorrow and the houses is quiet enough . Oh my if they counted on here how many times you uses one word .. I would win for using quiet so much .🙄 I know my daughter will be here it’s just I feel bad depending on her for company . I know that’s not how she is thinking. She wants to help me get his room freshen up for her brother . Plus declutter the house including her place . On her days off from work. . I guess I’m thinking to much which is making me feel anxious and not in control . I need to stop over thinking. I need to stay busy . So hate this feeling. Now if it wasn’t winter . We would have drove . If it wasn’t winter I’d feel better because it wouldn’t be dreary .. omg I know I’m thinking about things that are not able to be. Oh I am my worse enemy…. we’ll need to switch laundry over. And think about supper. Wish me luck to stop thinking so much.

January

January … I have never been a fan of this month I call it my blue month😥 it’s a month that there is nothing to look forward to it’s a dreary cold or rainy month and I crave the sun. This year it’s going by a bit faster it’s almost over and then February will be here and there’s Valentines Day to look forward to such a pretty holiday . Closer to Spring and a shorter month . Who gets the winter blues ?

Me myself and I …and Miss Abigail!

It’s a mild Friday evening and  everyone is out of the house ..my son had a meet and my husband is there , I can’t wait till Spring when I can see my son participate in outdoor track. Winter track never works for me not enough sitting room , a lot of things going around and I’m still getting over my cold, I’m  sure my son is fine he is busy concentrating on his meet . He will be happy there’s food for him when he gets home. That’s my part.My daughter is out with friends so it’s just myself and Miss Abigail who is on my bed at the moment nice and cozy so I am on the couch and coloring my  3rd   Page in my adult coloring book in a   Very Quiet house. Off and on I hear a thunk or a pounding noise but I tell myself that it’s the house settling after a warmer day and now cooler night . ….. I should be use to this by now this house has always made noises since we built 12 yrs ago. At first my husband didn’t believe me or should say didn’t want too until one night he was home by himself and heard the same noises. So I have  the tv volume up. 😂 It’s helping a bit. I going to concentrate on  my coloring. .🙂image

Snow Day #3

Once again woke to this. Everyone’s home well ..was my son and his buddies love a challenge so they took my subie and up our Long road of a driveway in their pajama pants they went yes…. pajama pants yeah they do not care to the diner down the road for some breakfast. So much for being snowed in. Boys….. My daughter  is enjoying  coffee with her dad and I . My hubby ended up not working so he will take his time clearing the driveway.  Well I guess I will grab another cup of coffee and then do what needs to be done around here, not much it will be a laxed day .🙂

 

imageimage