Sitting under my tree , happy place today deck needing more work then we expected… the sun is out and there is a beautiful breeze . A quiet day . My daughter is headed to work. My son coming home this evening after an over night orientation at the college he will be attending this Fall. That said I am taking in a moment and doing nothing … as I sit here my mind keeps reflecting back to a mystery this past week .. as You know if your a regular follower or just reading my post . I live in a peaceful quiet wooded area in the country where our driveway is more of a country road . So trees surrounding our home , during the day all you hear is the wind , the birds, and the comings and goings of my kids and their friends. So this was a surprise when I open my kitchen door this past week and found this beautiful item
Outside the door laying on the railing. I asked my son who was just arriving home from his morning run if he had placed it there ?he replied no asking if maybe dad had found it and put it there before work . Puzzled I sent my husband a picture and asked . He replied several minutes later no he didn’t and that he had never seen it before. And thought maybe our daughter. When my daughter woke I asked her and the same reply no not me. Okay now I was really in dismay …. relatives never just show up out here so I didn’t think it was any of them but I called around anyways and same reply no I did not. It’s been a week and this butterfly sits in my planter within my flowers . And there is no answers to where or how his came upon our door step . Do I find it beautiful ? Yes . .. does it make me wonder where this came from ? Yes.. does it bother me this un known mystery yes.. what do you think a message perhaps a sign ? I would love to know .
Good morning it’s a quiet Tuesday one .. after waking up at 7:00 the aroma of coffee found its way to me . I dragged myself to the shower but not before starting a load of laundry my husband had loaded in the washing machine ..I blasted the hot water since it’s so cold trying to warm up . Finally finding my way to the kitchen grabbing some coffee was so worth every sip.Miss Abigail is already in her chair sleeping away again . Oh this house is quiet but going to be even quieter by Friday when my hubby flys out to my Son for his Basic Training graduation I’ve mentioned this in past posts ,I’m not going can not fly or do the long distance walking so he will video and get a lot of pictures. The graduation isn’t until next Wed with visiting the base the day before so actually he’s flying out Saturday early morning with his mom who got them a room by the airport on Friday night so she wouldn’t have to to do an hr and a half ride to the airport for a 8:00am flight sadly they will be hanging around in a hotel from Sat to Tues because of finding a flight so close to my sons graduation . Then after graduation they will head to the airport and fly home with him . It will be a long day for them they should arrive home around 1or 2 in the morning.. I will stay up to at least give my son a hug and then let him head to bed . And then catchup with him as much as possible until his friends get ahold of him. They have already started texting me asking when he will be home …… so this will be interesting 🙂. It’s only 12 days here then he flys back out again but it’s ok I can at least have him home for Christmas !
I have been slowly decluttering the house .. my daughter will help me when my hubby is away which will keep my mind busy . Yes my mind (hahaha) I think too much . And so decluttering and freshening up his bedding will keep me busy . Yes I have been thinking and what timing as I’m writing this post I’m watching the morning local show while enjoying my coffee their talking about first holidays with your adult kids coming home from college , moving out military etc ..stating how when they come home it will be different for them and the parents as well.. The day they first walked out the door on their own they became adults and started their new life and so they will be different and we will be different as well ..So how we treated them before will change a bit yes their still our kids but their adults, seen a different world so transitioning to coming home will be however we make it but to respect there difference as well as they should respect our difference of how we as parents have adapted to them not being here But being adults doesn’t mean they will not need us they will. But in a more supportive way of letting them tell you how they feel if it’s been hard then guide them with ideas to make it more easier but teaching them , telling them is no longer our job. It’s their life. and we want them to want .. to look forward to coming home.Ok I must say listening to this has helped a lot because that is what I’ve been thinking about so much as the time has come closer to my son coming home and him coming home from Basic Training he will be different. And that could be a good thing . Oh I love him but he needed some help with growing up and hopefully taming his wild ways ..not a bad wild but a young wild .. so I will step back see how he is when he walks though the door and then trend carefully seeing the difference in him. My daughter growing into an adult was so different and easy she didn’t move away but went in a separate part of our house and just transitioned so much better I think she was born an adult ) hahaha) being a teenager was hard for her she always acted older then her peers . Was better around adults so being adult she has flourished and I’m proud of her. . So yes we will see . I’ll keep you posted.
It was long cold day of nothing… well if you want to call it that. I did go food shopping. So that got done but after that it was just Miss Abigail and I . Watching endless movies on HBO as the rain and wind echoed from the outside hitting against the living room window having Miss Abigail And I to look outside. time and time again.And for some reason on this gloomy day HBO seemed to play a lot of heartfelt movies well the ones that I happened to come upon. My husband went to an old childhood friends 50th birthday . I didn’t want to go let’s say the crowd his friend and wife connect with are not ones I want or would connect with .. easily stab you in the back figure of speech , and just can spend the whole day drinking .. okay my day day wasn’t anything special but I didn’t feel like sitting there for 7 hours and just drinking.. My husband came home fine said there was a lot of drinking and he just couldn’t had a few but that was about it.
Now he’s fast asleep and I’m laying here in the dark once again alone with my thoughts…. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong ? I question it. Because there were so many people there drinking having a good time . And I stayed home and yes after awhile I was bored and angry that my husband was having a good time or thinking he was .. but when he came home he said their was just so much drinking and people he couldn’t believe were actually his friends friends because his friend mostly stuck by my husband and two others the whole time. While his wife entertained them basically so I don’t know. I just do not like a crowed especially if I do not connect with them. My friend I talked to while my husband was gone for so long wasn’t thrilled that he was gone the amount of time . Said he should stay home all day and evening and see how it feels. See this is type ofmy friend group people who think that way .. so I don’t know. Maybe I’ve changed now that I’m older and drinking a hole day away is not in me. Hmm I just can’t figure out all this new way of being. Now tomorrow I’ll be home because my son should be able to finally call us from Basic . That I will not want to miss. . If I say he is given that chance . You never know with the Army. Or my son… I guess since it’s going on midnight I should try to get some sleep . Good night everyone.
the evening is here and no sunset the clouds moved in hiding away the sun . So I saw this photo and thought it was soothing. I’m sitting here watching the news and shaking my head …. why are things the way they are ?why do things feel so upside down ? why do we believe we are making this a better world with all our protesting for this or that . When all I see is when I was back in high school except worse, and we are forming sad hurtful cliques . But the cliques are about us all agreeing with one another having none of our own opinions likes ..well we can but it will come with a price .. lashing back with harsh words , violence, yes this is our better world this is making progress .. hmm do you see it. Shaking my head I wonder what my parents would of thought of all this if they where still here. I’m sure their looking down from the heavens above and shaking their heads too. This new generation has some things a bit mixed up. We need more love more kindness … more morals and more fairness and so much less judgement. And hate We need to be able to respect what others believe in even if we do not agree ,without worrying about the consequence . Can we ? Maybe someday. Just maybe ….
So it’s 9:30 on a Thurs night and the storms have passed for the time being. Oh wait now it souns like a monsoon out there where did this rain come from… I’m laying here in the dark on my phone playing the game bubble pop and for the life of me can’t get past level 32, two days so far …why did I even think to start playing this game . 🙂 It’s so addictting . So any how I’m laying her playing thinking of how we are all settled in for once… hmm nope my son asks if he can drive into town and see his two best buddies hmm okay I could I should say no but well soon school will be here and he will be home at night his friends will head back to college soon so I say yes … and said be back by curfew one of his buddies moms owns a fudge / candy ice cream store so they sit there after it’s close and eat ice cream and talk well what I’ve been told . Small town so if he is not telling the truth I will find our. Parenting is not an easy thing. In all the parenting books they do not warn you that there will be a lot of worry and wondering and that you become a detective as well. Yes the perk of being a parent . So I guess it’s more bubble pop untill my son gets home unless I fall asleep but that is rare when he is out I usually stay up . Well hope everyone has a goodnight you know what I’m doing
So I believe the last time I was on was Monday…hmm let’s see that Is basically two days ago why does it seem so much longer then that…I guess my mind has been occupied , errands appointments and life what does that mean well let’s see keeping things moving along even though you feel like your the only one doing that and everyone else around you is just going to expect that you do but they do their own thing and you just want to throw your hands up and say okay I’m on strike …and let them just deal with supper ..wash not worry if your kids school is falling apart because they don’t it will be fine I quote ..but sadlyyou do .let supper and wash be their thing because hmmm would it get done for you ? Yeah I’m tired of living like everything is the same as when we started this family and it’s not the kids have grown my daughter an adult my son about 17 and everyone including myhubby has grown so why am I feeling like ‘ m in the same spot and go by the same routine because is that what mothers still do when your kids grow up and do this or is it me ? I have been doing a lot of thinking and I think I’m afraid to embrace the change even though I feel I’m ready …does that make since? Hmm still have some thinking to do.