Thinking too much…

It’s a beautiful day the sun is shining the temps are just right. House is clean suppers set but why… can’t I stop my mind from thinking about everything …. so much coming up it’s over whelming me and my thoughts just go to the worry mode why… what happened to my saying , take it one day at a time . One thing at a time should add to my motto list. I’m not taking my own advice too well.. ughh so frustrating . Why am I so afraid that things will work out think positive… why . I guess this is why everything is done in this house today earlier then usual racing around trying to ignore my thoughts. I know over thinking worry does not change anything. It will be what will be . I just pray that God can wash these thoughts away ..

Growing Up…

Night has arrived and my heart is heavy. Yes I’m probably thinking too much but isn’t that what night does sometimes to people who think too much…. Its the School April vacation week and it’s just not the same . The days are too quiet and normal . The nights have been quiet as well . No loud music playing shaking the walls down ,no laughter of a house full of kids. No not having all our food ate up .

Instead the walls are not shaking just the sound of a movie playing in my sons room no laughter unless it’s my son laughing about something in the movie and a house is full of food . I know he’s growing up . The high school yrs are just about over , he’s done with work the ski season job is over so looking in the mean time for another but not having much luck . So it’s been going to the gym then to sport practice and then maybe one night he ate out after with his track friends but has been home the past 4 nights . I know I shouldn’t complain but this is just not how he is .The friend group has changed so he’s not hanging around with friends that are constantly running in between everything, the friends he has are doing what he is doing and as he puts it chilling at home at night. Does he miss the running hmmm I don’t know but why do I feel sorry for him? He came home tonight after gym and practice made his special diet for supper showered and then put on a movie in his room .. about an hour later he texted me ….yes he did I was in the living room. He asked if I would make him a pb&j sandwhich . How could I refuse 🙂 I brought it to him and there he was in his bed in his comfy clothes watching his movie and looking content so maybe he’s not missing the running around … maybe he is just growing up. Or maybe he’s doing wha I’m doing and thinking too much and needs a movie for distraction🙄 a lot of changes are happening to him and it’s fine if he’s actually chilling himself 😂 I need to stop thinking myself and let him be ,soon it’s back to school ,exams prepping for graduation college signups so yes I need to let him be…oh nights can do a number on you and Facebook as well al the posting of who’s doing what ugh need to stop comparing our family with others . That actually is maybe the problem … and him as well he seems to be on it a lot okay I need to stop …. always a mom…. well I do not hear the movie anymore he must have gone to bed. What I should be doing. Along with my hubby who is fast asleep …okay think I will good night everyone …

Waiting ….

it’s 10:30 at night and this is what I’m doing …. playing Bubble Pop on my phone . You know why? because I’m waiting for my son to arrive home safely …. at 9:13he sent me. Text” leaving now” so I was like oh good he let me know and now about an hour later he is not home and it’s about a 20 min drive home from his girlfriends… was coloring but put it away and started playing this game and worrying … now he has texted me “sorry coming ” .. ughh relieved I heard from him since it’s been an hour but why has it been and now I wait some more…. my daughter is out has well I do not like nights like these and I never get use to them. Oh being a mom , a parent is so damn hard. Loving is so hard … you worry so much and it doesn’t .get any easier when they get older. My daughter is home now still waiting for my son. I quest I will go back to my game as I wait ..

Stress release ….

Settle in for the night in my cozy bed house is only occupied by my hubby and I and Miss Abigail at the moment kids are out. Been a sad week …on Monday afternoon a boy my sons age and one this community knows all to well and his family ,was in a car accident do not know the details it’s all under investigation but the car is beyound totaled he was alone driving it and he is not in good condition …stable but severe head trauma and it’s going to be a long road for him and his family . This has shaken me up a bit because this generation of kids just want to be constantly on the go and that means on the road . Oh if I could keep my son in a bubble. As I write this he is out with his friends tonight as of last night and I am trying to not to worry so I’m coloring my fears away well at least trying I finished one page and have started this one. I’ve posted, this one has even more detail then the last one which is a good thing to occupy this over thinking mind and heavy heart.😥

Thinking…

I’m laying here in the darkness while my husband sleeps I could go into another room but I want to feel the warmth of my bed and hearing him sleep is comforting. .My thoughts are keeping me awake the  tradegedy  in London and just all the injustice in this world is heavy on the mind and ‘heart.  Everyone is suffering from something  whether is attacks drug addiction it’s just so unfair .life as become more scary every time my kids walk out the door I pray they will  be safe. Yes I guess that is normal but it’s just the worries have gotten so much  bigger and how do we stop it ? It’s definitely not going to change any time  soon. I just wish for peace and love and a simple safe happy life. Is that possible?  Oh my mind is so unsettled tonight even the sound of a distant train is giving me a chill down my spine , when other night’s it would be soothing…comforting. I pray tonight for health and safety and happiness   as I try to sleep..

 

 

 

 

 

New Beginnings…

 

Good Morning!  This morning I slept in no 5:30 alarm and now just enjoying my first cup of coffee. So it begins end of a chapter  to a beginning of a new chapter for my  husband and I.  My Son got his  drivers license yesterday and lets say a bitter sweet moment for me as we got back to  our house after the driving test and  getting a few things I needed , he grabbed his school bag and said okay I am ready to go are you sure ? you don’t need the car I said I’m fine all set just be careful he smiles and responds back with I will. as I watch him get in the car and drive off to school I just stood there… yes my baby is driving where did the time go.  it will be nice not to have to go and bring him everywhere because he is a very active boy it will a bit challenging for a little bit sharing my vehicle until he finds a car or I do, so far have it covered so this morning he took the car and I will grab it after since he has a late track meet and the car doesn’t need to sit in the school parking lot all day.  so another new chapter I know every parent goes through this I have already my oldest though my daughter but I did not worry as much because she has always been calmer cautious just the total opposite of my son and he is my last so my day will have more free space in it and maybe a bit more worry for now  but the look on my Sons face when he passed was priceless it was the same look when he got his 1st little bike at 3yrs old and my heart just melted at the sight of his smile.

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Photo Monday….

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Better late then never my photo for today. It’s been a busy weekend as well as a busy Monday. It’s only going to get busier and crazier … well hopefully Tues I have a breather. Thursday my son will be going for his drivers license and I am a wreak LOL! I am going to be living on my phone texting him the words WHERE ARE YOU every minute….. ughh he is the baby and a boy .I did not feel this way with my daughter she is so much more mature I knew where she was , this is  not something I am embracing at the moment. I am trying to because he is so excited and I am excited for him but not for what I am going to go through…. with his  more  found  freedom.  So over the weekend my daughter and I went and enjoyed a shopping and coffee day and Ive been on a budget so I was trying to stay practical and my daughter saw the adult coloring book and said you have to get this I have this one and love it and it will help you with your worries, get it you will  not regret it. My daughter was right I started a page last night and I  am really enjoying it it’s a lot of fun this book .I have two others one that I have just about colored all the pages  in and I love them as well but this one is refreshing , really calming. I am so happy someone thought of this for adults to relieve some stress or  just take your mind off things for awhile.  Thank you to whoever came up with this beautiful idea  and to my daughter for giving me the push to buy it.