Here is the definition of content and happiness some will argue this meaning doesn’t or shouldn’t go together. I do understand the definitions but… I feel at times content can be used as a safe haven to use as an excuse to not further grow in life . To be happy to have the settled approach is easier then changing because we all no change can be so hard. If we settle to what is ..even if it’s not a good thing we as human beings do because it’s so much easier. We learn to live , except . Are we happy ? That’s my question . Like I stated content follows happiness but I have found many to say their content they have their routine their material things . Are you happy though and I will hear yes but no . Hmm yes because your settled no because you are not enjoying what you want to in life . Happiness yes is a feeling and some say a desire. Only quoting of what I have heard . Why is being happy over being content so hard for people to except . Why does happiness have a negative if we do not follow it with content. Yes some are very happy with just being , good enough. But do not frown on if it’s not the same believe of others. For example. When I was younger and not a mother I was out going social . I was happy with being me happy and never doubted . Then I became a wife a mother and I slow changed yes as we do . Yes my focus was taken away from me and now directed towards my family. Yes I was happy yes I was content I knew nothing else . My focus was what was asked of me what you do . My writing etc everything I enjoyed that was apart of ME slowly faded . Yes I still wrote except my writing took on whole other meaning about family life. I was less social even though you would think I was around other parents constantly with play dates . They where not my close friends that faded as well. Yes all probably my doing because ones I focus on something I take it to the limit. Who would figure our kids would grow up 🙄 well they did . And I found my ” content life” was not the same . My kids could not be my main focus anymore . It left me wondering now what? I cannot keep going as I was .
I see life now as I use to be yes older but my need to bring back what I love my social side my silly side , to be me . Take care of me . To realize life doesn’t slow down after the kids are out of the house. That life is about change .. a good change. To take control of my health , my wants, And to me that is yes happiness and contentment.
What is it about thinkers ? Our minds are either calm or racing with thoughts so deep you feel them through your body right into your soul. The thoughts run endlessly through our minds . Words spoken from someone whether there meant to to teach us a lesson or just said we can take them to the extreme and feel it in so many ways . We can replay them over and over in our minds trying to explain to ourselves what it means. Breaking the words into tiny little pieces and then like a puzzle putting them back together again to understand. Oh the mind of a thinker is so exhausting. When someone hurts we think about it and tend to feel hurt with them . Along with thinkers I believe we tend to feel more emotions then others and at times it’s draining . Sadly I love very deeply and once I love there is no end to it. so these qualities are hard to handle at times ..Sometimes it feels like so much weight on your shoulders but honestly it’s in your head. This weight we carry. I try and I try but my thoughts are endless as the ocean and no stopping the endless waves that come crashing in.
Get up smile , face the day with some good thoughts . Let nothing sadden you , let the thoughts in your head that are begging you to let in all the negative thoughts push them away . Be strong, laugh let the day be yours . Fill it with all the things you enjoy . Take a drive turn up the radio sing to your favorite songs. Or just sit outside and let the sun shine on your face . But just keep smiling. Be kind to others even if they are not kind to you because you may teach them how to be nice .. or maybe not but you will be happier for it .I know I never want to be a grumpy older person I know we never know what someone is going through . I’m just stating I do not let age get the better of me. . I want to always be able to laugh . Let my heart feel joy not sorrow. Yes there will always be some bad days but only for a moment. Keep moving forward . You will be happier in the end the reward is amazing. It’s a happier you.
I wake or I believe I’m awake. Darkness surrounds me. I feel like a child playing hide n seek and I’m grabbing and reaching for walls to guide me through this darkness. It’s so quiet everything is calm too calm. But in my head I’m hearing a faint scream. Is it me? I yell out are you there where are you . But no one answers back. Then I recognize the voice of the scream I hear it’s mine. Why oh why is it so dark why is no one there I begin to yell out again but then I’m awaken the sun is bright blinding .. I’m awake.
Life has been such a strange twists and turns of emotions since the beginning of summer. Leading my thoughts in every direction. and I just want to get off this rollercoaster at times. On Sunday my thoughts where quiet . I relaxed and settled in on my couch with my chrome book and the beautiful warm sun shining in on me warming me as I caught up well started to catch up on all your wonderful posts. The house was quiet my son once again headed back to his college dorm. And when he left the liveliness of the house left with him. The house feels sadly like a quiet hollow shell. It’s not that I haven’t adjusted to him now living in his dorm . SurprisinglyI have better then I ever thought I would. It’s just hard when he comes home on weekends and he comes in like a hurricane and leaves like one. (hahaha) yes it’s a country song but it’s the only way I can describe it. I think why my thoughts are in every direction is since both my kids are young adults now I am not in the Mother mode well always a mom but it’s on a whole new level . We can only guide and be there for them . It’s their time to find their own path and yes they will make mistakes but they will learn. I believe I’m finding my new path on this next chapter. I’m finding ME again . The person I was before kids ,is slowly floating up to the surface and of what and who I have been for so long is breaking off in bits and pieces . And I’m remembering the the person who was so social never went a day without laughter in it. A smile constantly on my face. That was replace with a serious detail to the limit non social person because I focused so much on the responsibilities of being a mother. Yes I did smile and laugh but it was different . I’m now left with no routine no place to have to be only if I want to be. I have reconnected with friends. And the best part I’m taking care of ME . Eating healthier and feeling good doing it. With a chronic illness it’s important . Yes at times it’s hard but I know I won’t stop . Just need to keep moving forward so with that said yes this has been my focus and not everyone is on board with me at times… okay that part is for another day but I cannot will not be discouraged . It’s just keeping it going and seeing that part of me I thought I lost so many years ago .Yes we age . We do change but we are still who we are and that is okay. So bear with me sometimes my posts will seem all over the place like my scattered thoughts but it’s all good..
The thoughts run endlessly through my mind. I try to calm them . But it seems like an endless battle. The thoughts of so many emotions. Fear, happy sad lost. Why ? Sometimes our mind is our worse enemy as the saying goes. I try to to calm it I focus on my breathing . I think of my happy place where I’m running endlessly through the field of endless beautiful green soft grass under my feet . Daisy’s all around me the sight is beautiful . My mind calms ..the thoughts slowly fade I stay focus on this beautiful sight . Until no thoughts cloud my mind. A feeling of calmness takes over and my mind is for now at peace.