The hardest part about living…is loving.
The hardest part about living…is loving.
As I take a deep breath and I begin to type my fingers feel like they’re fumbling over the keyboard, my heart is heavy and I am so far writing this without tears in my eyes, but give me time the tears will fall soon as they have been on and off all week. Dec 2nd was the last time I had wrote anything, my last post was about counting my blessings and I was on day 2 the day my best friend, unconditionally by my side and so very loved by my family, the protector and rascal and just sometimes a handful I swear he was a person in his past life 🙂 and so embedded in our hearts for the last 6 years and so very loved our beloved pups took a turn for the worse and we had to say goodbye to him. This was the the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do. I know Oakland or to us Oakie is in a better place with no more suffering and no more worries though. My husband and son did a beautiful job with tears in their eyes with finding a perfect place on out property over looking his home in his roaming place and in the sunlight and now he has gone over the rainbow bridge and I am hoping it’s just as bright and sunny and warm and he is running in green grass with all the beloved other pets that have passed and he is happy and barking and playing and he will suffer no more with his issues he had come to us with . We called him 0ur pups his first 3 years of life were not happy ones but his last years were happy because we saved him, we tried to erase the miseries his first owners put upon him. They where not nice and he was not able to be a happy, loved dog. I do not believe he knew what love was until he came home with us, he was haunted by anxiety and trust issues and was not a dog who took well to visitors he would bark and growl until he felt you were to be trusted .. if you were lucky, he did love his sister which I would say a sister from another mother, my daughter loved that and always got a good laugh out of that because his sister is my daughter’s cat that she had brought home 3 yrs ago as a kitten and they became fast playmates and good company to one another when we all had to go out. I know Miss Abigail misses him so much and she finds it just as quiet as we do everyday this week or I should say it will be as of tomorrow Sunday , she roams through our house looking under things, around things for him before she finally settles down sometime I find her staring off in one direction or another then sprinting like she is spooked. I want to believe she feels him and she is chasing him, yes I do believe that is possible, why not? what does it hurt? He may have been a challenge but to us and Miss Abigail he was faithful cuddly and loving. Yes, each day was a new challenge, but we made it through because we believed as long as we loved him that was all that mattered to him and us and he will never be forgotten. He will be missed, so missed. Every part of our house and life has a memory of him. So my Pups, Mama loves you, Daddy loves you, Jamie loves you, Seth loves you and Abigail loves you and I hope you know know that. It took me until today to write this because it was just too painful to say good bye to you on here where there are several photos and posts about you and knowing I won’t be posting about you. Well, maybe not, I will post memories .. and I want to thank my followers who loved my photo Monday of him from about two Mondays ago. Rest in peace, my Pups.
This is so true, sometimes this is all you need. it’s been a rainy foggy Tuesday November day .It’s all good we need this rain so much and I am sure our well is happy as well…hahaha okay that was good wording 🙂 but very true. A strange day it’s been usually rainy days drag on this day flew by ,happy to say dinner is all set thanks to my daughter who needed it to be so she could eat before her late work shift. Now just waiting for my son to come home from Track practice and then the rest of us will eat …yes I’m sure for some this is all so boring what I write about but I did warn everyone my blog would be about my family life. yes…yawn.. sigh … sorry. I am so thankful for all you wonderful people who follow me I enjoy your blogs as well. Over and over I thought about should I do the November what I’m thankful for but there are days I am just not able to get on. I am thinking when December starts I may do a count my blessing moment when I am on or at least find two seconds at night to write it. so bare with me. 🙂 okay my son should be here soon and I am ready for an early dinner myself . Have a good night everyone.
It’s a crisp windy sunny fall Sunday morning the sun just shining on the fading beautiful foliage is stunning . Everyone is busy as usual.. my son went home coming dress shopping with his girlfriend my daughter off with her boyfriend and my husband doing some outside cleanup then there is me I am thinking of making a nice homemade soup for supper feels like a soup kind of day when everyone settles in for the night.. I had hear some towns around our area got a dusting of snow and people were so happy I would not have been one of the happy ones ..not a fan of it and sadly I live where we get it. isn’t that always the way? well must start my day I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday, off to make my soup have a great day everyone.
It’s a quiet cold windy Saturday at home. I sit her watching the cat enjoy watching the leaves swirl around outside and the pups lay sleeping comfortably on my couch and I wonder why am I sitting here watching them doing something they enjoy. I should be doing something enjoyable so I stare at my laptop then I turn away once again yes this is not the first time I have turned away. I scroll through Twitter ..Facebook and wonder why can I not get back on this blog? so many thinks to write about so many things to let go of, so today I have done it here I am . Bare with me the last time I have written was the end of June and the last thing I believe I wrote was I whining to a close friend that I didn’t want to be an adult anymore 🙂 I was tired sad okay feeling sorry for myself a bit yes it hurts to admit this but come on haven’t we all felt this way at one time or another… YES!
So summer as come and gone and it was a summer of change sadness happiness and a lot of growing in many ways. My oldest my daughter turning 21 it’s so unbelievable to me that she is officially an adult already , it feels like just yesterday watching her at the playground swinging on the monkey bars and playing hopscotch. My youngest turning 16 and receiving his drivers permit My Husband and Son spending a week in California because my son qualified for the Junior Olympics in running hurdles so that was both happy.. sad.. busy many days of running him to the gym the track to train plus running him to work and drivers ed . See why I didn’t want to be an adult hahaha but happy because we where all so proud of him and the sad part because it was the first time him being away for his and my birthday, my husband did have a cake for me the weekend before they left so that was a pleasant surprise but to keep the cost down it was best that my husband just went with him plus my bad hip would not have been happy with all the walking. I stayed back with my daughter and we had a pretty calm week went shopping stayed up late talking and she surprised me with a cake as well on my birthday the week flew by and my husband and son made it home safely .What an experience they had though my son loved California but did admit home wasn’t so bad after all quieter less people and much cooler ..he said city life was not for him. hahaha He is like my husband more of a woodsy private person who enjoys the solitude of nature . Then the summer had its low points a young boy 13 yrs old lost his life to an all terrain vehicle accident in our town and that twas just so heartbreaking it just proved to all of us in this quiet little town even more how short life really is so I take back saying I do not want to be an adult. so you see many new and sad experiences this summer that yes have taught us more to appreciate what we have and we should never take for granted.
now it’s Oct and there is foliage rides with my husband .Coffee trips with my daughter for a hot cup of Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte’s the best . A new school year sport events for my son .My son driving us with his drivers permit every chance he gets and then cozy night in bed cuddled up watching our favorite shows with our pups at the end of the bed .This might sound boring to some but to me this is everything after this summer and a lot of soul searching and feeling like there should be more well maybe there could be but right now this is enough and everyday is a new learning experience I believe for my husband and I and us spending more time alone together again. and for myself to do what I never had time for in awhile , that is why I started this blog and I am finding like this summer I will have days even months that I am not on but please bare with me at those times. This is such a whole new world. When you have kids they become the center of your world and then they grow up and you find yourself almost lost because you can’t go back to that person you where before so much has changed you have changed it’s like this whole new journey of rediscovering who you are and what you do here on out it really can be so mind blowing I am sure I will have many things to tell. Stay tune. 🙂
Today is mine and my husbands 21st Anniversary, I am in awe of how fast that came let’s see if you add 6 yrs together before getting married we have been together 27 yrs. where did that time go it’s not a blur but more like book that is left out in the wind and the pages flip rapidly through and you can’t grab the book in time before the wind looses your page . life has changed a lot since we got married …yes that is what happens that is what is suppose to happen, we get married or not we have kids or not we focus on our careers or not whatever the path we choose or where god leads you.. my husband and I worked a lot and we chose to buy a house that needed a lot of love and care and we knew we wanted to marry we jumped on it so we worked through the week and weekends were spent working on the house with the help of family and friends .. and we spent our weekends with friends or at our home with home cooked meals snuggled on the couch with a good movie and snacks money was tight but it worked we had two dogs we got has pups and they were our babies. life was good we had fun and then one day I found I was pregnant which nothing we planned on or was against just didn’t think this could ever be possible because with my health issues and that is where God chose my path with this blessing of a beautiful baby girl and I a stay at home mom. yes it was a little hard financially at first but that what I chose and it worked out in the end and then five years later I received my second blessing my handsome baby boy and my doctor said okay no more you have two healthy kids a girl and a boy …I agreed never imagined this would be possible I became busy things changed rapidly like life does but you never imagine. I was busy being a mom and I took the role very seriously I love being a mom love taking care of my family and then guess what?? They grew up and I found myself less busy less chaotic less the cool mom but just a mom that quote my son who I am not his friend but his mother…hmmm okay.. yes boys have a mind of their own and have all the answers well mine thinks so. My daughter graduated works a lot and spends time with her boyfriend but we get our lunch out day.:) my kids are beautiful and turned out to be good kind people ,so since them getting older I have been so focused on so much of who am I? and thinking I lost myself and my husband but each day I am learning and finding out yes I have change yes my husband has changed….we grew up and as I sit here writing I think I haven’t lost myself Im still back to writing like I have always loved to do but didn’t have time and reading more and socializing again but without the kids. I was so worried how our marriage would be now but it’s calm content and we are happy and learning the next chapter in our lives and god willing we keep learning.
Hello, as you see in my bio I am stay at home mom of two . I am quiet until you get to know me then you can’t keep me quiet. I love to have long conversations with a nice big cup of coffee in hand. I love being with my family especially on lazy summer nights sitting on our deck looking at the stars. I’m simple it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I take life as it comes one day at a time my motto. I hope you enjoy what I share. I am really excited about sharing my thoughts with you.