I must say as crazy as this week has been I am finding more of a contentment with this new norm approaching .. my children now both out of high school , more in charge of themselves ,I’m finding a bit more of who I am again before kids ….yes defiantly different.. older , yes that’s a given, but more what I want to do then what I have to do . Yes of course I still need to keep the house up make meals for my other half and is it a have to no but yes I like a clean house and cooking is my thing 🙂 I’m having more time for me which is nice being with chatting with friends , writing , love my blogging friends I have a great group I love reading and commenting on . I’m reading more getting out more . Without the feeling of worrying I need to get back and take care of things . So yes this is a new journey and I need to stop looking back in which case is one of the things I do way to often and trying my hardest to change. It will come, well just noticed the time looking at midnight, started this post a bit late … was chatting with a friend earlier that took my evening up . Time for sleep . Good night everyone 🌙
Quietness is such a lonely feeling .. it make the nights even darker . The house is not even making its creaking noises . Everything seems settle except for my mind . My thought are scattered like a puzzle my emotions feel like there twirling like a tornado …so strange this newness .. is change ever easy !
The night is upon us . The house is quiet , everyone in their beds sleeping , no sound from the outside the boys (coyotes) must be hunting or settled somewhere else tonight . The train with it’s lonely whistle through the darkness is not to be heard tonight as well . All is quiet so I will settle under my blankets absorbing the warmth of them and drift off to dream land… goodnight everyone.
I honestly believe that love is the hardest part of living , but at the same time best part of living .. yes love can feel so good and make you feel this deep sensation deep down inside to your soul and yet at the same time can be the hardest and saddest most painful feeling you ever experienced . How can one word one feeling be so complicated an the most best or worst thing in your life . Love is such a powerful word .
When I look at you I see a young man standing before me so strong and ready to conquer the world , but then when I look in those blue eyes I see that little boy that could melt my heart with just a tug on my leg looking up at me to pick him up and hold him and that smile you gave when I did just broke me I just never wanted to let you go , but I need to it’s time now , your grown and you are letting go you crave for that freedom to be you … all the dreams you hold in your heart there ready to explore. I must and I will let go but in my eyes you will always be that littlle boy with the big smile looking up at me I will hold that memory close to my heart forever.
We need more love is this world to wash out the hatred that is so upon us. We need to stop all this hatred life is too precious …why I ask do we hurt each other ? Why is it easier to hate then love !… I look up at the beautiful blue sky and I ask how is it so beautiful when down here where I’m standing is so ugly . Why do we feel the need to destroy one another in so many different ways , ? we are all in this world together let us come together and conquer this evil that so badly wants to destroy us.
The night darker then usual the moon is covered in clouds ,no shadow upon my walls instead a very darken room filled with nothing but quietness ..and my thoughts that seem to occupy my mind. Endless thoughts with no place to escape . What to do if only I knew the answers….