Rolling my eyes at myself…

So tonight my hubby and I are searching through the TV channels for something to watch ..we come upon the movie The Nun. I knew I should of listen to my hubby when he said your not going to like this it’s a horror movie . I kind of new this , my son had told me about it and I knew it was just wrong in general to watch . Being religious and this movie was just so wrong in many ways . Sadly my curiosity got the best of me and it was half way In to the movie and okay let’s just say I have scared myself several times tonight . Just awful this movie was and I regret watching what little I did. I wonder why things are they are in so many sad ways . My hubby turned it. But not soon enough. I guess that will teach me.

I went outside onto the deck to take in the fresh night air and to focus on something peaceful .I went to look up at the stars and well I striked out again . The clouds have moved in no stars …But I took in the stillness of our darken woods. The sound of the peepers out past the swamp. Occasionally the distant sound of a dog barking. Peaceful it was . At one moment I thought maybe I saw something run across the yard .. maybe a fox or my mind once again playing tricks on me. Yes still regretting .. 🙄 the other night as I laid in bed I could hear the train and it’s whistle from the nearby train tracks but not tonight . Well not yet at least. I let you listen . It’s beautiful.

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Finally settled in …

What an evening …. can I just take a moment and just breath … so my son had to finish doing his college financial aide application let me give you some advice do not type in your Social Security # wrong ,oh boy what a bit of a mess ,he thought he had it right no he didn’t …ugh had to redo it all over and twice my hubby was pacing hahaha I was just on the phone trying to talk to customer service . My son already ugly because he can’t run for two weeks or more so this just topped it off . Now luckily my son has cooled down hubby sleeping, my daughter settled in her place with Miss Abigail watching tv and I settled in and coloring . My happy place 🙂 on wards to the next dilemma but can it wait till tomorrow….

Change….could only wish..

Good Morning I do not like to start my day with negativity but this negativity has followed me for years and on Wed  was brought back to light once again so I should say this is a Thursday throwback  issue. it’s been 19 years that I have been married ..and yes like every marriage we have had are ups and downs and have always gotten through it. Most of the problem is my in-laws not only did I marry my husband I married them ……my parents have been gone for 20 yrs and let me say the ache of missing them is always there but right now the ache is more .So there is no way to put it nicely my Mother and Father in-law are judgemental , rude, selfish and so unfairly stubborn and most part hurtful. They can be nice BUT only if you go along with their way of thinking then things go smooth or smoother and to tell them you cannot talk to them and tell them  how they are being they will not talk to you or should say me for months..yes I cannot do anything right I do not live up to the mother wife THEY believe I should be and sadly they can treat my kids the same way if they don’t have a title so they can brag about them instead of brag about how good of a person they have become . My kid’s know their 20 and 15 and understand .It’s sad how they never had the chance to meet my parents who where the total opposite of my in-laws it’s so sad and unfair how that happens. I have wished for so long that things would change but after an incident on Wed I now know it never will change this is when I wish I could talk to my parents and I know they would have mine and my kid’s back. My Father didn’t care for them and he was right…I would marry them to when I married my husband.My husband knows what his parents are like but their his parents and I know they intimidate him. Such a complicated situation..any ideas anyone ???