What people think..

I sit here thinking . Yes always thinking. The thoughts that run through my head are a bit different today then other days. I’m thinking about who I am . Me as a whole body and mind. And yes my faults well I call them that because I’m not perfect . Oh wait … what ? I’m not perfect? I’m not 6ft tall long legs young beautiful blond blue eyes . No! I am 4″11 slim but not long legs . I am not youthful . Hmm well that’s just so wrong. Do you see I’m 4″11 yes a child like size but good things come in small packages. So they say. , straight hair on some days and wild curly hair on other days yes it is what it is. I have dark hair as the night when not in the sun and brunette when I am. But I am me ! I smile everyday no matter what . And I laugh every chance I get . I love my coffee it’s my poison. Some say I drink too much I say it’s never enough. I love to have long conversations deep , silly or just random ones. I love to listen to people about their thoughts. It intrigues me. I do not like fake . I only do real so if your real and you respect me we will get along just fine. Now you ask why and if you are not asking why I’m telling you all this I’ll tell you anyways.

I do not like how people judge others to a point that you begin to question yourself . No one has that righties power over you to do that . Yes it’s hard not to let them . I know this as been going on for decades but today it’s getting to be too much. So many people are being judged for just being them. To me this is rude and so wrong . Our words can hurt people so deeply . And no as they say ” you can not take them back . Those harsh words judgements get imbedded in peoples souls especially the sensitive caring and loving ones . And can do so much damage . Thank you for them that they still exist. .. but if we keep doing what we are doing and judging people pointing out there imperfections well your idea of that they will not exist much longer. This world will just get more populated with unkind unhappy people yes unhappy . If you can hurt someone in this way then your not happy with yourself . Well to me that is sad. I wouldn’t want to be that person . So let’s think about it the next time we pick on someone. If their not hurting anyone leave them alone . But just stop hurting people. Life is too short. And precious we are all who we are . If we where all the same I believe it would be a very boring unhappy world.

Rolling my eyes at myself…

So tonight my hubby and I are searching through the TV channels for something to watch ..we come upon the movie The Nun. I knew I should of listen to my hubby when he said your not going to like this it’s a horror movie . I kind of new this , my son had told me about it and I knew it was just wrong in general to watch . Being religious and this movie was just so wrong in many ways . Sadly my curiosity got the best of me and it was half way In to the movie and okay let’s just say I have scared myself several times tonight . Just awful this movie was and I regret watching what little I did. I wonder why things are they are in so many sad ways . My hubby turned it. But not soon enough. I guess that will teach me.

I went outside onto the deck to take in the fresh night air and to focus on something peaceful .I went to look up at the stars and well I striked out again . The clouds have moved in no stars …But I took in the stillness of our darken woods. The sound of the peepers out past the swamp. Occasionally the distant sound of a dog barking. Peaceful it was . At one moment I thought maybe I saw something run across the yard .. maybe a fox or my mind once again playing tricks on me. Yes still regretting .. 🙄 the other night as I laid in bed I could hear the train and it’s whistle from the nearby train tracks but not tonight . Well not yet at least. I let you listen . It’s beautiful.

Finally settled in …

What an evening …. can I just take a moment and just breath … so my son had to finish doing his college financial aide application let me give you some advice do not type in your Social Security # wrong ,oh boy what a bit of a mess ,he thought he had it right no he didn’t …ugh had to redo it all over and twice my hubby was pacing hahaha I was just on the phone trying to talk to customer service . My son already ugly because he can’t run for two weeks or more so this just topped it off . Now luckily my son has cooled down hubby sleeping, my daughter settled in her place with Miss Abigail watching tv and I settled in and coloring . My happy place 🙂 on wards to the next dilemma but can it wait till tomorrow….

Change….could only wish..

Good Morning I do not like to start my day with negativity but this negativity has followed me for years and on Wed  was brought back to light once again so I should say this is a Thursday throwback  issue. it’s been 19 years that I have been married ..and yes like every marriage we have had are ups and downs and have always gotten through it. Most of the problem is my in-laws not only did I marry my husband I married them ……my parents have been gone for 20 yrs and let me say the ache of missing them is always there but right now the ache is more .So there is no way to put it nicely my Mother and Father in-law are judgemental , rude, selfish and so unfairly stubborn and most part hurtful. They can be nice BUT only if you go along with their way of thinking then things go smooth or smoother and to tell them you cannot talk to them and tell them  how they are being they will not talk to you or should say me for months..yes I cannot do anything right I do not live up to the mother wife THEY believe I should be and sadly they can treat my kids the same way if they don’t have a title so they can brag about them instead of brag about how good of a person they have become . My kid’s know their 20 and 15 and understand .It’s sad how they never had the chance to meet my parents who where the total opposite of my in-laws it’s so sad and unfair how that happens. I have wished for so long that things would change but after an incident on Wed I now know it never will change this is when I wish I could talk to my parents and I know they would have mine and my kid’s back. My Father didn’t care for them and he was right…I would marry them to when I married my husband.My husband knows what his parents are like but their his parents and I know they intimidate him. Such a complicated situation..any ideas anyone ???