Moments ,memories..

It was a rainy day, and a good day for a hot cup of tea and listen to @Dr.andrea Dinardo’ video on her beautiful blog. and now an icy night. So dislike these days in the winter. Happy though that the day before was spent out and about with the sun shining bright. And a night out with my sister and her friend’s watching my niece sing at her high school winter concert. and then grabbing a bite out and many laughs and good conversation. I always have such a good time with my sister. I must say signs are still upon me. While I was looking out the window from my bedroom, enjoying the sun shining in taking in its warmth, a cardinal landed on the tree branch facing the window. It seemed to be looking in my direction but in not positive it was looking at me. Then as fast as it appeared it was gone. It did make me smile.and wonder what more surprises would arise throughout the day . I did get a message from a friend of my dad that I had been waiting for for weeks a reply back. So that was interesting. I haven’t talked In yrs with this person but hope he had some answers to some questions I had. So the timing of the cardinal and message was something. Coincidence no, no such thing. After that day I fell asleep at 10:30 so not typical of me. And it wasn’t due to a lack of coffee . I must be getting a high tolerance . So tonight on this icy night I’m cozied up on the couch and watching my favorite Friday night show Long Island Medium. I love that women. I find her fascinating . My friend and I want to go see her .. I know it sounds strange but it’s something we want to do . Tickets are actually not a bad price. We would really love to go to her house. But there is a long waiting list. Any way at least I can enjoy her show on Friday nights . The rain is still coming down but the temps are rising so the icing should stop soon . That’s a good thing. Will be headed out in the morning with my sister to get some Christmas shopping done and yes enjoy some coffee. For now going to sit back and enjoy my show. 🙂

Sun and the moon..

Today the sun came out beautiful and bright after the day before wet and dreary. Then the sunset was followed by a full moon. I had to get. So I took a ride to find the perfect places to get the best photos. My photos will not do them justice. Here it goes, enjoy!

Turmoil..

Turmoil. That has been my word the last yr or so.life is so full of chaos whether it’s by the government, humanity, within a family. It’s just there. And I know life is beautiful and how you make it. Yes, I heard it all before. But sometimes we are not left to choose how we want our lives to play out. Yes, we can question the paths we take. Were they the right ones? Well, we do not know until we have crossed them and then we choose from there. Than there’s, the surprises life throws in. Some good some not. And then how we deal with them how we move on from them. All I know is you keep trying. Keep pushing, running, crawling however, it takes to keep moving forward. If we stop we loose the momentum to keep going.

Writing… thoughts #2

The music plays softly in the lightly darkened room. My body wrapped warmly in a blanket. Wishing that it was your arms instead keeping me warm. Your voice whispering in my thoughts singing to me the songs I hear playing . I close my eyes and feel my body relax and feel comforted with the sound of your voice. I can see your ocean, blue eyes piercing through my thoughts. My heart aches to have you near. You’re all I need. You are the every breath I take, every smile on my face. Every beautiful thing my eyes see. Cant you see?

Writing…thoughts

The darkness surrounds me. But I see a glimmer of light. And I hear a beating sound of a heart. Is that mine or yours shining and beating to guide me through this darkness? I hold out my arms and move forward slowly, feeling this pull to what I see and hear, is it you? Can you see me? Can you hear my heart? My breathing becomes shallow; my arms keep reaching for you. But yet the closer I get, the further away you are, I can feel the warmth around me. Please let that be you. All I know is I need to get to you. I’m so tired all I want is to feel your arms wrapped around me. Hear your heart beating with mine as we they become one. And then I will feel complete.

Puzzling…

Friday morning woke from a dream that felt so real. I know we all have had that kind of dream. This though, was a dream like I have never had. It was so peaceful. Comforting. And felt so much love. I would say the rest, but you wouldn’t believe it. I’ll leave it at that . It was something so spiritual if that even describes it. And the rest of the day seems to follow suit in signs oh so many signs. A cardinal was appearing right in front of where my sister and I where parked on a bush while we’re talking about our parents that had passed many yrs ago. And then as fast as it appeared, it disappeared just wanting to show it’s presence. The day as I stated still followed with more signs. We went into a store that my sister had been In more than I could count, and I had never been in. It was like an indoor tag sale and antiques shop. This place was wall to wall stocked with everything you could ever imagine. I chuckled and stated that I would love to come upon an old fashioned stainless steel made meat grinder that back in the day you would clamp onto your counter and put whatever meat in it to hand spin the meat for sandwiches. I believe it’s could possibly be an antique. As a kid, I loved watching my mother use it. My sister agreed it would be something to find. As we browsed, I happened to look down at the same time as she did at this tin pail holding random items, and there was where we spotted the meat grinder And the look on our face. well, you could imagine was priceless. she reached down and grabbed it and said of all the things there was no price tag on it everything in the place has a tag on it and some things were so expensive I could only imagine. I asked the lady working, and she was like oh well that’s different and throughout a random amount. 5.00 dollars, all I could say was okay. Thinking though this was worth so much more. We left after that quickly.. She invited me to stay over her house and bake with her and her daughter and yes, drink coffee. She loved her coffee as well it’s a family thing. We stopped by my house so I could grab my things and off we went to her house that is our family homstead. So always going to her house is like going home again. She has redone it, and it looks beautiful, but it’s still home always will be. The three of us had a bunch of laughs and enjoyed homemade m&m cookies and coffee. Yes, I cheated on my diet, but so worth it. We stayed up way past midnight chatting . The day was absolutely amazing. There was many more signs and moments of discoveries . That proofed that our parents were still around us watching over us. Another time for that . When I post my meat grinder. I will say a lot I have discovered about my family and this thing called life and death . and even though someone has passed and we cannot see them . We can at least feel them if you open your heart and mind to it . Your heart is the easy part their your love ones . Wrapping your mind around it is another thing. For me both is easy for I feel very sensitive to this. It’s unbelievable but beautiful.

Lazy Day..

I should of, but I didn’t, I stayed in today. I didn’t sleep late but took my time enjoying my morning coffee. And breakfast while chatting with my daughter. And then we both went about with taking care of things around the house. Fun stuff. Not. Then my daughter left with a friend for a bit, and I turned on my music. Nice and loud. Such release music is to me. Yes, I sang at the top of my lungs (hahaha). No one was home. Why not🤷‍♀️ and yes it made me smile. I have this quote of the day that is sent to my email every morning. I loved what the quote was this morning. So fitting, I must admit. I’m going to keep smiling and try not to let my negative thoughts get the best of me. And this season. The big word is to try. I will keep moving forward and smile and laugh. And not let things get me down. I will not let negativity define me. Yes, there are always going to be those days, but they do not have to be every day. I use to laugh every day. It’s time to be that person again. Be the person I was meant to be. Strong happy, and not be afraid to be me. Will I get judgment most likely because not everyone in my world is this way? Yes, sadly, it’s true. I need not to let my surroundings affect me. Yes, there is time for seriousness, but to be too serious is not good. And if members in my home space cannot share this with me, then I will do it on my own or find people who will share this with me. And yes, this has been my struggle. Sometimes when you try or do to change yourself, to be healthier happier. This threatens some. And they are not willing though to follow along but seem to go the opposite. And the saying is right. You cannot change someone. Even if it’s to make things better, .you can only take care of yourself. Life is too short for me to let anyone stop me. So I ask you to bear with me. I may have my moments. But I am accepting to any advice. Yes, this may be too much of a personal subject on here, but this is what makes me feel good writing and sharing how I feel. It helps me.